Chapter Two - Needing Each Other

Saradoc was pleasantly surprised when he awoke at down and found snow covering the ground outside. The snowfall seemed harmless enough the evening before; a nice touch for the Yuletide. This morning, however, it was a bit disconcerting. He worried if the pony would be able to undertake some of the narrow country lanes in this weather.

As the snowflakes fell upon his upturned face, memories of a 2 Yule long ago came to his mind. It was when he and his friend’s sister were married thirty years ago. These days, it was his life-long mate who was his closest friend; through laughter and tears, sickness and health, they made it through to now. He would do anything for his beloved wife, and today was no exception. He saddled up his pony, slid his foot into the stirrup and swung himself up into the saddle. He was traveling all the way to Haysend today to meet a tradesman whom he hired to fashion the most beautiful gift for his lovely wife. The letter he received yesterday evening said the Man from Bree would be dealing near the gate today, and his gift would be there waiting for him. Even if the snow piled above his head, Saradoc vowed he would make it there.

* * *

Esmeralda was making great progress with the monogram, as her husband seemed to be out and about this morning. It was gold lettering upon a dark blue cloth. When the appliqué was finished, she would sew it onto the smoking jacket she had made for her husband. Esmeralda smiled to herself. All these years I’ve objected about his pipe smoking. He’ll be so surprised! True, ever since she found she was expecting her first son, Saramac, the smell of pipe smoke would turn her stomach upside down. Perhaps it was within the past few years, when everyone was able to relax and not be so on edge that she herself was able to sit back and rediscover how much she liked the smell of it. She had many fond memories of her own father, Adalgrim Took, who often carried the fragrant smell of pipe smoke in his clothes. She decided that she would give back that joy of pipe smoking to Saradoc on their anniversary by presenting to him a new jacket.

“Mum?”

Esmeralda looked up from her sewing. Merry was well aware of her gift, so she didn’t bother to shield it from his view.

“Have you seen Dad?”

“No, sweetie, I haven’t. He was gone from the bed this morning when I woke up, and he wasn’t at breakfast.” She took a moment to think. “Have you looked for him in his study?”

“No, I suppose I will look there shortly.” He sat in his father’s chair near his mother, watching her stitch the delicate golden thread into the material. “Where are your spectacles, Mum?”

Esmeralda sighed, catching his gaze out of the corner of her eye. It was the way he was looking at her, but it wasn’t like yesterday when he was shamelessly staring at her face, but it was more like he was in thought. She slid her hand into her pocket, pulled out the wire frame and propped them on her nose. “What’s on your mind, love?”

Merry thought for a minute before responding, “You....and Dad.”

Esmeralda’s curiosity was piqued. “What about us?”

“Do you love each other?” He hesitated before speaking again. “I mean, do you love him? Why did you stay with him all these years?”

She was taken aback by the sudden and very personal question. “I don’t know if I’m prepared to answer such a serious and private question, Merry.” She looked at her twenty-six-year-old son; to her, he may as well have been six. The expression on his face reminded her of when he was a little boy. Then the memories of that time in his and her life hit her mind with a vengeance.

Merry got up and kissed her cheek, “You don’t have to answer, Mum, it was only a thought.”

Esmeralda laid aside her sewing, took Merry by the hand over to the couch, and sat him down next to her. “It’s a very personal question, Merry. But one that deserves answering--or at least a semblance of one.” She took in a deep breath. “Of course I love him. Yes, there were some terrible years that I regret, but I never fell out of love with him, Merry. Many couples go through a period that tries the very fabric of their relationship. I have always loved him as much as I love you. I think because of those years, we were forced to talk and to confide in one another in ways that we wouldn’t have otherwise. I believe our love for one another--and for you--is stronger for that.”

Merry was silent for a while. He remembered how a few years ago he and his dad shared a joke. Merry thought the jest really wasn’t very funny, but he so enjoyed in the sharing of it, that he laughed right along with his father. Perhaps that’s when his dad’s laugh lines around his mouth developed. Or the first time Merry saw tears in his dad’s eyes after the bitter row they had when he was a teenager. Even now, years later, Merry knew the pain of Saramac was still in his father’s heart, but now he at least understood it. Merry rued that his father never spoke to him of the pain in his heart; he would have gladly shared in that as well. “He needed you, didn’t he?”

Esmeralda’s heart went out to Merry. She reached over and smoothed back her son’s curls with her fingers. She smiled sadly, “He did. And I needed you.”

Merry sighed; standing up from the chair, he kissed his mother, “Thanks, Mum. I love you.”