Chapter Six - A Mother’s View

A couple of days later, Esmeralda was observing Merry sitting at the desk in their room writing out his numbers and letters. She watched how he so diligently wrote out the letters of his name on his practice paper. Already the shaky lines of his handwriting were disappearing while smoother lines took over. Her little son sat upon the same set of old books bound with a cord that he used at the kitchen table to give him a little height. Despite being away from his tutor, Esmeralda insisted Merry keep up with his lessons.

Esmeralda called to her son from the bed, “Merry, sweetie, come sit next to Mummy.” She patted the space next to her. She watched as the small child slid down from his chair then climbed up onto the large bed. He seemed so little and vulnerable against such an uncaring father. Deep inside though, Esmeralda knew that Saradoc cared for their child, but it would appear she would have to uncover the rank of walls that her husband had built up over the past few years in order to find it. Did he know--or was Merry unaware of the troubles in his life? Her heart filled with more than enough love for two people; she suddenly reached over and pulled the little boy onto her lap and cradled him in her arms. She made certain he did not see the tears in her eyes. He must have sensed her need--or her melancholy--because the normally restless child sat comfortably in her embrace.

Merry looked up at his mother and saw her sweep her hand underneath her eyes; she was crying. He asked, “Mummy, why are you sad?”

She sighed, still holding him in her bosom. “I am sad, love,” she answered, “but…I can’t properly put it all into words right now. Is it all right if we go talk to Uncle Paladin and see if he can help?” Although Merry had warmed up a little bit more to her affectionate brother, Esmeralda knew he was still a bit timid around him. She was relieved to see Merry nod. Esmeralda set him down on the floor. Taking his hand in hers, they walked out of their room towards Paladin’s study.

* * *

Paladin jumped at the sound of someone knocking at the door, nicking the side of his finger with his carving knife. The door was already open but because he was so engrossed in the project at hand, he did not hear them approach the door. The wound stung a little, though it gave his thoughts a diversion. He still had no clear idea as to what he was going to say to his young nephew, but all the same, someone had to do it and soon. He laid aside his tools along with the round shaped piece of wood on his desk top. He got up, making his way towards the sitting area. “Hullo, Essie. I see Merry is with you.” He held out his hand to the child.

Merry hesitated, but took the large hand in his little one and shook it. “Good afternoon, Uncle Paldin.” Merry couldn’t help but peer around the side of his uncle to glimpse at what he was carving out of the piece of wood.

Another diversion! Paladin smiled, “Would you care to see it?” Merry nodded, so Paladin led the boy over to his desk, lifting him into the large leather chair. “Careful of the tools, Merry; they’re sharp.” He validated his advice by showing Merry his recent cuts and nicks.

Merry gazed wonderingly at the sort-of-round-shaped piece of wood. He looked up at his uncle. “What is it?” he asked.

Paladin leaned down into his ear, “It’s going to be a very special gift for a very special boy.” He winked at Merry and smiled.

The little Brandybuck tried his best to think of another little boy in the smial, but there were none; all his cousins here were lasses. He realized his uncle was speaking of him. Merry pointed at himself and asked, “Me?” He watched his uncle nod. Then he puzzled, “Am I special?”

The twinge in his heart hurt worse than the recent cut on his finger. He glanced at his sister then picked the boy up to his shoulders, touching his forehead with his own. “Hasn’t your dad told you that you are special?”

Merry shook his head. “No, sir. My dad is busy all the time.”

Paladin raised his eyebrows in mock disbelief. “All the time?” he asked.

“All the time,” Merry answered.

“Well,” Paladin said, carrying the boy back towards the couch, “I am going to tell you then. You, Merry Brandybuck, are very special.” When they reached the couch, Paladin sat down and set Merry in his lap. Well, here goes, he thought to himself. “I’ve heard that your cousin, Frodo isn’t busy all the time. Do you like cousin, Frodo?”

Merry nodded his head vigorously and grew excited. “Yes!” he said. “We play lots of games and…and we sing songs, and he…he tells me lots more stories!”

“Can you sing a song for your uncle?” Paladin smirked at his sister sitting across from him. With a smial full of lasses, he rarely got to partake in his old boyhood songs.

“Paladin…,” Esmeralda tried to warn her brother.

Merry went full-tilt into one his naughtiest limericks, and was completely delighted that his Uncle Paladin sang along with him. Esmeralda only shook her head.

“When the sails are high

And the wind is strong

The night is as dark

As the day is long.

We work ‘til our bodies

Are dead to the world

We hitch up the lines

The sails are now furled.

We row into town

With the lasses we flirt

In hopes that they

Will lift--”

“Paladin!” Esmeralda yelled over their voices, interrupted their singing. “I will not have Merry singing those….those--indecent songs!”

Paladin sheepishly looked at Merry. “Your Mum is a lass,” he said. “We ought to respect that.” He then caught his sister’s more urgent gaze. I suppose that was the last diversion…

Paladin cleared his throat before starting one more time. “Merry,” he said, “I know you spend a lot of time with Frodo; did you and he play a game the night before you traveled here?”

“What sort of game?”

“The hide and seek game,” Paladin answered casually.

“No, sir.” Merry explained further, “We haven’t played the hide and seek game in long time.”

Paladin asked gently, “Then can you tell me why were you hiding in the wardrobe?” He noticed that Merry stiffened when he mentioned the wardrobe.

Merry fell silent, but it would be impolite to not answer his uncle’s question. “Don’t know,” he finally said.

“Were you hiding because your dad and I were shouting?” Esmeralda asked softly; she was trying to help her son. Merry sat still for a minute then nodded his head.

Paladin hugged the child closer for the next question. “Merry lad, what did you hear your dad say?” Merry said nothing for a long time, then Paladin saw him wipe his eyes. “Merry,” Paladin wrapped his arms completely around his nephew; wanting to shield the boy from any further suffering. “You don’t have to say it. It hurts, doesn’t it?” Merry nodded, sniffling, he wiped his nose with his sleeve. Paladin took his sister’s handkerchief and helped the boy clean his face.

Suddenly Esmeralda had an impulse. She kneeled down in front of her son, still sitting in her brother’s lap. “Merry, what happened in the study,” she slowly shook her head, “did have to do with you, but love--it wasn’t your fault. Your dad does love you, Merry, but he just doesn’t know how to show it right now.” She ran her hands thorough his soft curls, “I’m going back to Brandy Hall today to talk to him; so that we won’t be shouting at each other anymore.”

Merry looked up at his mother. “I’m going home, too!”

“Merry, I--” Esmeralda was cut off by her brother.

Paladin got up and sat Merry down on the couch, letting his sister hold her son in conversation. He gently kissed Merry’s head and quietly left the room. He stood out in the hallway leaning against the wall, hands clenched in fists. Anger was rising in him to the point of going red in the face. How dare he, Paladin thought, How dare that hobbit call himself a father? He took in a deep breath to calm himself. He left the two in the study as he went out to the barn to hitch up the ponies.