Chapter Five - Life’s Choices

Paladin stood behind his sister; both watching the children going off towards the barn. “He’ll be fine, Essie. Pimpernel is a good lass and won’t allow any harm to come to him.”

She turned to face her brother and sighed, “I know I must seem over protective of him. It’s just that...I....” Esmeralda wiped away the tears that welled up. “Sometimes...I think I’m all he has.”

Paladin put his arm around her; he was not entirely unaware of his sister’s fears. “Saradoc has not recovered and come out of his study, eh?” She shook her head.

“I’ve talked to him, Paladin, I’ve tried to reason with him....and recently--the other night, we were shouting and arguing at one another. We’ve never shouted at each other before,” she sniffed, “and Merry--he was right there in the room when it all came out.”

Paladin looked over and to his wife. “Come with us, Tina, to my study; I think another woman might help.”

Eglantine got up and handed their two year old over to Pearl. “Take Pervinca outside for a while, please.” Pearl took her little sister by the hand and led her towards the door.

In the study, Eglantine sat next to Esmeralda and comforted her as she poured out her heart to her brother. “I’ve never heard him utter such vile words before, Paladin,” she said. “I saw the empty bottle on his desk and…I don’t know what came over me, but found myself shouting in return.”

“You said Merry was there,” Paladin pressed her for more information. “Did he hear all that was said?”

Esmeralda nodded, “He heard everything, Paladin--everything.”

Paladin sighed. “What did Merry do?” he asked. “Has anyone talked to him?”

“He ran off and hid somewhere in the upper levels for several hours. It was Frodo who found him and brought him back,” she answered. “I haven’t even talked to him yet; I’m almost afraid to. He behaves as if he never heard what was spoken, and he still adores his father.” Esmeralda fidgeted with the handkerchief in her hands. “Paladin,” she looked at her brother, “I...I want to return to Brandy Hall and...”

Paladin watched his sister, “and do what, Essie?”

“I want to go back and confront him. If Sara doesn’t listen, then I will give him a choice.”

“What kind of choice would that be?” he asked. “Merry is his son as well. You cannot simply keep Merry here without reason; Sara won’t have it and neither will Rory.”

Esmeralda looked at Eglantine and then her brother. “Sara has already made his feelings about Merry quite clear. Why would he care?”

Paladin spoke from an obstinate father’s point of view, “Merry is a Brandybuck, Essie. Out of sheer pride Sara won’t allow his son to live anywhere but Brandy Hall.” Then he said further, “Whatever he said the other night, Essie, I’m sure he is ruing those words already. It had to have been the drink talking through him.”

Esmeralda’s face fell. “Perhaps.”

Eglantine watched the entire discourse from the beginning. She had no idea her sister-in-law’s home was in such turmoil. She felt helpless in that all should could do at the moment was lend her friend a shoulder to cry on.

Paladin pulled his chair closer to his sister and took her hands in his. “Essie, Sara is not himself. I’ve never known him to drink other than at a celebration. Does Rory or Gilda know about any of this?”

Esmeralda sighed, “No.”

Paladin sat back in his chair. “They need to know,” he said. “So no one has talked to Merry at all?”

She shook her head, wiping her tears, “No--as I said, even though he heard everything his father said, he still loves him so I don’t believe Merry really understood it all. The shouting seemed to frighten him more than anything.”

Paladin shook his head. “No, Essie, I think he understands more than you know, or can even guess. You said yourself he ran away and hid in another part of the Hall. Someone needs to talk to him soon. If not, then his feelings may surface in ways that you will not like. Being five years old, he may not know how to speak his feelings, but if someone he loves and trusts were to help him express it, he would speak volumes.”

Esmeralda looked at her brother. “Would you speak to him?”

“I would love to, Essie,” he replied, “but the boy doesn’t even know me yet.”

“He will in due time. If you,” She looked at her sister-in-law, “and Tina would allow him to stay for a short period, he will come to know and love you both.”

Paladin was incredulous. “Essie, you don’t know what you ask. You and Merry are welcome to stay as long as you desire, but Merry--alone? He’s a little boy who still needs his mother. You can’t just leave him here alone and go off back to Brandy Hall.” He paced back and forth trying to think of another way, but he could think of none. Each plan came back to the same conclusion as his sister. He, too, felt that young Merry should not to return home a destructive setting if it could be helped at all--at least until the current issues were resolved. Which would be the lesser of the two evils, he asked himself. “You must stay here with him for a few days at least, let him get comfortable, then we’ll talk to him together. If he seems fine with it, then he can stay. If he gives any indication that he will not stay without you, then you must not put him through that horror.”

“He’s already been through horrors, Paladin; mine and Sara’s argument being one of them. Which would be worse--going back to a father who pays more attention to his ponies than his own son? Or the misery of staying with kin that I know will love him and shower him with kindness and affection?”

Paladin couldn’t deny that. He loved his own children more than life itself, and his nieces and nephews weren‘t far behind. “Very well,” He relented, “I only hope we’re doing the best thing for Merry.”

Esmeralda got up and hugged him. “We are, Paladin,” she said, “thank you.”