Day 14 or 15

i tried to keep a record of days. didnt work. my papers are gone, i dont know where. bilbo wouldnt take them, would gandalf? elrond came to see me. he says i should try and forget about the rest of the world. i cant do that yet. maybe not ever. i spent days searching for my records. found ashes in the fireplace. all the crawling around and moving things made my hand throb for hours. i can still feel the finger there. sometimes i forget and drop things. odd, the stump looks different. the scar is smaller, i'm sure.

bilbo is getting younger. his hair is iron grey now; it was white as the snow on carahdras when we came. carahdras. i remember that place. i dont think there is snow in valinor. its warm here and the stars don't seem to move in the sky. it was autumn in the shire. the air isnt even chill in the mornings here. i remember the first time merry saw snow. he was afraid of it. saradoc carried him out into it and taught him that it was fun. i'm afraid i'll never see it again. i know i'll never see merry again.

Day 20?

was making notches on a piece of driftwood. someone burned it. how did they find it? are they watching me? i'm all alone with thousands of elves. forget what? the darkness of mordor or the green Shire? i cant i cant i cant. bilbo agreed. i went outside. almost thought i would strike him. he said, "frodo, you have to let them go. they have their own lives, they've moved on. you have to too." move on, bilbo? how? to what, exactly? he has elvish history, and who knows what else to interest him. i'm sick of elves. how many weeks has it been? 3? i'll go mad before sam comes. utterly mad.

Day 21?

never thought i'd get into a shouting match with elrond. he seemed so dignified. Celebrían had to calm him. i like her. she's bright somehow, like a star. oh, shut up, frodo-- now i'm waxing poetic about elrond's wife. anyway, we were yelling because he wanted bilbo and me to go with him to see some elf lord or something. finarfin, his name was. king of the noldor that stayed in valinor. elrond nearly burst a blood vessel because i yawned in his face. calm down, elrond--it was just a JOKE. anyway, if finarfin wants to see me he should hop on a horse. i am THE ALMIGHTY RINGBEARER. as they KEEP REMINDING ME. what'd he do? LIVE A LONG TIME? stay in valinor like a coward when his brother went and fought for the things he believed in?

Later

eventually, gandalf joined bilbo, elrond and celebrían in convincing me. i wasnt hard. i have nothing to do anyway. did you know that the elvish in valinor is different from the languages everyone knows back on arda? how frustrating is that?

1. i wish i could hold elanor again. i wanted to see her grow up and be her uncle frodo.

2. i wanted to see pippin and merry become the heads of the shire

3. i wanted to go back to gondor and give Arwen back her jewel. i would rather have shadows and pain than this.

if gandalf burns this i will kill him.