Day 4

Bilbo gave me a journal.  He said it would help, that the air here reminded him of Rivendell.  He said it was hard to remember things there.  I got a chill when he said that. 

Everyone’s been very kind, very gracious to us.  I guess since we’re the only hobbits, and, of course, our parts in the destruction of the ring.  There were more elves waiting on the beach for our ship than I think there were in all of middle-earth.  They cheered as we docked and got off.  A beautiful elf woman embraced Elrond; they cried.  Galadriel was crying too.  I just felt tired.  It was too much, the sun, the singing, the smiling faces, too much joy that only contrasted with the sadness I’d left behind me.  I tried to smile. Gandalf noticed though, and got them to leave Bilbo and me alone.  He took us on Shadowfax to one of the smaller buildings.  It was nice and quiet inside.  Too quiet.  I fell asleep. 

The next days were spent resting, eating and relaxing.  I guess they didn’t want to overwhelm us.  Bilbo actually did more than I did.  He seems to be much more alert and lively than he was before he left the Shire.  Will we be immortal like the elves here?  I don’t feel any different.  Gandalf stays with us.  He spends a lot of time with the elves, but he’s never far away.  It’s comforting.

Elrond comes by often. The elf that kissed him was his wife, Celebrían. They look very happy.  Elrond laughs a lot, even though he’s sad about Arwen, he is happy to be here.  Gandalf and Bilbo talk about growing pipeweed for hours.  I opened my mouth to say that Sam would know the best time to plant it…that made me realize I cant ask him.  Over 20 years, Sam was just a shout away, now I may never hear his voice again. 

Later that night

 I’m so alone.  Why did I come?

Day 6

Today I walked along the beach. I’ve never seen a seashell before.  There were so many, some gleaming with color, some dull.  All were different shapes.  There were stones in the waves, they were bright. I think they were gems. I left them there. There’s no need for them anymore.  The waves were high, by the time I got back for lunch, my trousers were soaked and crusted with salt.  The food here is wonderful, but it’s strangely impersonal--like they’re making it from a translated recipe…these elves have never eaten a mincemeat pie.  There’s no ale.  I dreamed of the Green Dragon, it was full of orcs.  I woke up screaming.  Gandalf sat beside me until I fell back asleep.  there were no more dreams.

Day 9

I guess whatever elf lords or ladies in charge must have decided we were ready.  I would’ve argued, but Bilbo seemed excited.  He loves elves even more than Sam does…did.  I can’t think about them, back home.  I’m so tired I’ll cry and wake Bilbo. This is my home now.  Anyway, we met a lot of elves, they all seemed to know about the quest. I guess Elrond or Galadriel told them.  They sang songs and told me how brave and wonderful I was and what a great thing I’d done…I couldn’t listen anymore.  I drank wine until I passed out. There were no dreams.

The next day my head hurt.  I was excused from the festivities. I spent most of my day in bed, sleeping. Bilbo left me alone.  In the evening I walked along the beach again. I decided to go into the city the next day. We had coney stew for dinner. I managed to choke down a few bites.  Gandalf looked sympathetic.  I lied and said I ate earlier.  Bilbo was worried. 

They don’t understand.

Later

Insomnia. Gave in and drank myself to sleep.

The next morning I got up anyway and opened the door to the stable and went in.  There were two ponies there, just as I thought there would be.  I saddled one of them, a pretty gray, and began to trot down the road.  At first I thought my head would explode or that I would black out, but it passed.  Many elves on the road.  I almost expected to see dwarves, hooded, packs on their backs…stupid.  The elf city was beautiful.  Lots of mithril, gold, precious gemstones and metals.  Blinding when you are hung over.  I was greeted everywhere I went.  Ringbearer! 

I was hungry by noon. Lots of roast vegetables.  I missed meat rolls and sausages.  There was no candied fruit, cakes or cinnamon buns… Pippin would die of starvation here. 

Later

I can’t think about them. Not yet.

I rode home by starlight.  So many stars here.  Almost brighter at night.  There’s no moon.  How many days have I been here?  Nine? Where’s the moon?  Elf country is strange.  I’ll have to ask Gandalf.