Chapter Thirty Four

“Come on, Fergie! Get me home safe, and I’ll feed you all the barley you want in the morning!” Paladin looked above him at the treetops. He could see the twilight moon flickering through the leaves overhead. It was the only light he had to guide him and Fergie in the growing darkness besides the lantern his cousin gave him. He had forgotten to bring these small, but necessary items with him in his angry haste earlier. Paladin politely declined Adelard’s offer of a bed for the night; he now sensed an urgency to get home as quick as possible. He needed to speak with Saradoc...and then with Merry.

Fergie had traveled this trail on many occasions, so Paladin felt confident his pony would get him home, however, Fergie had never traveled this path after nightfall.

His thoughts went ahead of him to when he’d arrive at home. What sort of greeting would he receive from his wife--or his sister? With every jostle towards home, Paladin could feel his heart sink into the same horizon with the moon.

It wasn’t long after that Paladin was rewarded with the welcoming sight of home, and he quickly noted light was still showing through certain windows. As he dismounted and put Fergie up in the barn he tried to summon up all the courage in his bones to face his sister and Saradoc. He threw a blanket over the pony’s back and petted her muzzle, “Thanks, Fergie.” He fed her an apple for her efforts.

He barely had the kitchen door shut when he heard a familiar voice. “Paladin Took!”

If he didn’t know better, he would have swore it was his mother calling him. He hadn’t heard his name called like that since....well, since he was a tween! It made him stop in his tracks.

“Tina! I can’t stay--I must talk with Sara.”

Eglantine glowered at her husband, “Where have you been? We‘ve been worried sick over you!”

Paladin, held her face in his hands, “Tina--I really must speak with Sara...now! Then you and I can sit and talk all you want.” Their eyes locked, “Please?” Eglantine saw the earnest pleading in his eyes that made her nod in assent.

“Thank you!” He said, and kissed her before hastening off to find his brother-in-law.

The first place he looked for Saradoc was the last place he saw him--in the study. Paladin almost didn’t see Saradoc sitting in a far corner until he spotted a plume of smoke rings float up towards the ceiling.

Paladin entered inside the room yet Saradoc seemingly took no notice of him. As he drew nearer Saradoc blew another smoke ring and tossed a small, balled up wad of paper into the circlet. “I’ve fouled thinss up terribly, haven’t I?”

Paladin noted Saradoc's speech was slurred. He took another chair from nearby and placed it alongside his friend, “Yes, Sara, you have.” He saw Saradoc look at him, trying to focus. Then he said further, “and so have I.” Paladin eyed the empty wine bottle that lay on the floor next to Saradoc’s chair and knew he‘d been drinking. His heart went out to Saradoc and his sister. So much hurt and pain.

“My son is sisssteen years old, Paladin--and today was the firsss time I’ve had a real converss....converss....conversshun......with him," Saradoc cackled. “Wha’ do you think of that?”

“Sara...,” Paladin tried to calm him. “Sara, I was wrong to run out on you earlier. I apologize.”

“Apologissse--for what? I’m a fool--my own son will attesss to that.”

“Merry doesn’t think you’re a--” Paladin stopped short. Why am I lying? Merry does think he’s a fool.

“You sseee!” Saradoc stood up and waved an accusatory finger at his friend. “Even you think I’m a fool.”

“I don’t--” Paladin stopped himself again. He snagged the waving finger that Saradoc was flying under his nose. “All right!” He nearly shouted, “So I think you’re behaving like a fool, and so does Merry! But it didn’t have to be that way! You did it to yourself!”

Saradoc was silent. “Then there’ss no sstartin’ over, is there?”

Paladin sat down in the chair across from the inebriated hobbit with his head in his hands, trying to calm the angry thoughts racing through his mind. “There is a ‘starting over‘, Sara, but it will be a hard road--for you, for me, and for Merry. And Merry doesn’t deserve this--this...insecurity.”

Saradoc sat back down in his chair. He almost seemed to sober up right before Paladin. Saradoc stared at the intricate designs in the rug as he tried to sort out his own thoughts. Finally, after a few minutes, he spoke up, “I know thiss will be a ‘hard road’ as you ssay--for all of us...and yet I mean to follow it all the dayss of my life if I have to. If Merry tossses me out on my ear, then sso be it. He will tosss me out on my ear everyday becausse I intend to knock on his door everyday--hoping that ssomeday he will let me insside. And if he never does, then that iss my juss reward.” He wiped tears from his eyes. “And right now, all I know, Paladin, iss that I need help...I need a friend. I know I’ve been as good a friend to you as I’ve been a father to Merry, but if....” Saradoc’s voice became broken as the tears surfaced. “if you...can forgive...”

Paladin imagined he saw the part of Saradoc he knew before Merry was born. He reached his arms around the hobbit and embraced him. “I forgive you, old friend. Welcome back!” Paladin held his friend until he stopped crying.

“I’m still a fool, aren’t I?”

Paladin sensed Saradoc was in no condition to talk about anything serious, let alone his son. “Sara, let us talk more in the morning, all right?”

“But don’t forget you’re dealing with a fool!” Saradoc sniffed as he stood up. “Everyone knows you can’t deal with a fool! There‘s no fool like an old fool, and I ccertainly am a...a...I'm one of them!”

“Sara, let me help you to your room.”

Saradoc was still going on and on about fools when Paladin led him into the guestroom. “Shhhh, Sara! It’s past midnight! You’ll wake up Essie and the children!”

Saradoc put his finger to his mouth, imitating Paladin, “Shhhh!”

Once Paladin had swung open the door, Saradoc staggered forward into the darkness of the room. Paladin watched helplessly as his brother-in-law pitched forward, sending a crashing noise down the hallway.

Paladin carefully inched forward to find Saradoc lying on the floor cackling about what a fool he was for tripping. “Sara! I’m so sorry! We must have left a few things out when we cleaned up earlier.” Paladin was kicking himself for once again not bringing a lantern with him, though he couldn’t very well hold both a lamp and Saradoc simultaneously.

He helped Saradoc onto the bed and covered him with a blanket. Paladin noticed his sister wasn’t in bed. No sooner had Paladin put the blanket over Saradoc that he began snoring.

Note: I know I’m using the word “fool” a lot. It was part of the clean up, and yet part of Saradoc‘s awakening. Sorry to those who were offended by it.  Thanks to everyone for hanging in there--we're coming near the end. :-)