Chapter Thirty One

Esmeralda sat and watched her precious son sleep. She did this as often as she could since he was born. Soon enough life would turn him into an adult hobbit, and then....his wife would be the one to sit and watch him sleep.

Merry looked so peaceful as the flickering light from the fire danced upon his face. His eyes were closed and his countenance serene. She was content to just sit and watch him breath.

After several minutes Esmeralda heard a soft knock upon the door and saw it open up a little as the lamp light from the hallway poured inside the dimly lit bedroom. She recognized the face that appeared around the door as her husband’s. “Sara,” she whispered, “what is it that you want?”

Saradoc took his eyes from his sleeping son to his wife, “I only wanted to talk--to Merry.” He closed the door behind him.

“Well, Dear, as you can see he’s fast asleep. Go on to bed.” Her whisper barely left her lips when she felt his hands on her shoulders, gently massaging them. Esmeralda reached her hand up and touched his.

Saradoc bent down to whisper in Esmeralda’s ear, “Then may I speak with you?”

Merry stirred in his sleep. He shifted position, turning over to face his parents.

“Shhhh, Sara! We must go elsewhere and talk or we’ll wake up Merry.”

“I’m already awake.” Merry’s eyes were open, though his voice was heavy with sleep.

“I’m sorry, Merry. It’s my fault--I should have been more careful.” It was Saradoc who replied. “Shall I come back another time?”

Merry shrugged his shoulders. This surprised Saradoc. He ventured, “Then may I stay?”

Merry shrugged again, “Don’t matter.”

“Don’t pester the lad, Sara.” Esmeralda leaned over to feel her son’s forehead. “Does your head still hurt?”

Merry paused, “I don’t think so.” He blinked wearily in thought, “No, I don‘t feel anything.”

There was an uncomfortable silence that followed. Saradoc felt he had to say something. “I know you’re angry with me, and...I guess I’m angry with myself, too. I’ve vented a lot of anger over the years and without realizing it, I aimed it towards you. You took the brunt of it, Merry. I can never forgive myself.”

Merry did not respond right away.

Esmeralda said nothing. She held her breath as her two beloved hobbits squared off.

Merry sighed, “I don’t know if I even feel angry anymore. I don’t know what I feel right now.” His fixed his blue eyes on the little pillow that lay on a chair next to the fireplace. It had been sitting right where he left it before leaving for Frodo’s party.

In his own mind, Saradoc was elated; this was the first real conversation that he and his son had had since Merry was a wee lad. He almost didn’t want to break the spell.

Saradoc watched as Merry curled up in his bed looking spent. He thought his son was actually sleeping until he took his hand and brushed his longish hair away from his eyes. He felt Merry stiffen under his touch. Saradoc didn‘t want to ruining the chance of more talks with his son, “Well I am guessing a weighty conversation is not what you want at the moment. I will wait until you are feeling better and hopefully then we may continue it?” Saradoc watched Merry for a response.Merry said in his thoughts, but do I really want him to? He felt himself take a deep breath and release it. I suppose I’ve been wanting this...I may as well push forward. Before he knew it, he found himself nodding his head.

Why doesn’t he just go away?,