1: Frogs, Newts, Lizards, and Anything Else Slimy

September 1401, S.R.

Pippin stood knee deep in water, mud and slime. He was at a pond, near his home, searching for frogs, newts, lizards and anything else slimy and disgusting that he could find to put in Pimpernel’s bed. He snickered at the thought of her screaming and writhing when she climbed into bed that night.

His thoughts were interrupted by a voice calling out his name. He froze, worried that it was Pimpernel, and that she would find him. He relaxed when the voice called out again. It was not Pimpernel. Nor was it Pervinca, whom he had hoped it was. She would have helped him collect slimy things, since she loved seeing Pimpernel squirm almost as much as Pippin himself did.

It was Pearl, Pippin’s eldest sister. Though she would not help him in his "mission", she would also not work out what he was up to. Pearl was a beautiful hobbitess, with a kind and caring heart, but she was rather lacking in intelligence. As her voice drew nearer, Pippin carefully hid the jar full of newts and frogs that he had already collected in his pocket.

"Pippin! There you are!" said Pearl.

"Oh, hullo, Pearl," Pippin replied. "Were you looking for me?"

"Yes, mother sent me in search of you. What are you doing? You will surely get into trouble when we get home. Look at you!"

Pippin looked down at his clothes, and realised that Pearl was quite right. The mud on his legs was starting to set into a cold, grey cast, flicked with bits of green. The bottoms of his trousers were soaked through with stagnant water. Yes, Pippin would indeed be in trouble. But, patting the jar in his pocket, it would be worth it. No punishment would sour the joy of Pimpernel lying on top of several amphibians.

"All right then, we’d better get home, before mother sends Pimpernel in search of you, and then Pervinca in search of her!" Pippin grinned, and Pearl giggled. Together they returned to the Great Smials: their home.

* * * * * *

"Peregrin Took! What happened to you!?" screamed Eglantine Took upon noticing her son’s appearance.

Pippin stood and let his mother scream and yell at him until she was almost out of breath. He mumbled the occasional, "Yes, mother," when he thought it necessary. Finally, when Eglantine had said everything she wanted to, she asked: "Well, what do you have to say for yourself, Peregrin?"

Pippin looked at his feet, and put on his best ‘little-lost-boy’ voice. "I am really sorry, mother. I…uh…dropped something in the pond, and I went in to fish it out. I didn’t mean to dirty my clothes."

Eglantine sighed. "Well, then, I suppose I shall not punish you too severely. It was not really your fault if you had to wade into the pond. Still, you should have come back for help. Therefore, you shall go without second breakfast tomorrow."

Pippin opened his mouth to protest, but kept quiet, realising that this was quite a light punishment. He could imagine many things worse. Going without second breakfast for a week. For a month. Going without any meals at all. Not being able to visit Merry in Buckland. Or Frodo and Bilbo in Hobbiton. He decided that he would be able to survive a day without second breakfast.

He took leave from his mother, and wandered to his room. On the way, he passed Pimpernel’s room. An evil smirk crept across his face. He’d almost forgotten. The frogs! They were still in his pocket, just waiting to be released onto an unsuspecting sister’s bed. Pippin made sure that no one was around, then snuck into Pimpernel’s room. He pulled back the bed covers, and emptied his jar. A quick check that the crawling creatures were not too noticeable, and Pippin was gone.

His prank was not…discovered until later that night. The family had eaten dinner – and supper – and the children were preparing themselves for bed. Pippin was pulling a comb through his curling hair, when a blood-curdling scream came from the direction of Pimpernel’s room. Pippin grinned.

He ran towards the source of the sound, along with the rest of his family. They found Pimpernel sitting her floor, as far from her bed as possible, still clutching her bed covers.

"Pimpernel, what is the matter?" asked Paladin.

"Th..the…there are…things in my bed! Slimy, disgusting things!" Pimpernel cried.

Paladin stepped forward, and peered onto the bed. Sure enough, crawling on Pimpernel’s bed, were two frogs, a lizard and some form of living slime. He shook his head, but said nothing. He knew exactly how the creatures had found their way to Pimpernel’s bed – he had used that same trick on several of his sisters – but since Pippin had already been in trouble that day, he decided not to tell his wife. He would have words with Pippin later.

"Come now, Pimpernel. You can sleep in one of the guestrooms tonight. I’ll check it for creepy-crawlies before you get in. We’ll have this bed all cleaned for you." Paladin called for one of the servant hobbits, who promptly stripped the bed – amphibians and all – and left for the laundry.

The Took family returned to their respective bedrooms, the crisis over. Needless to say, Pimpernel had a restless sleep that night. She kept feeling slimy things moving beneath her, but when she sprung up, there was nothing there. When she finally dozed off, her dreams were plagued with giant frogs, all chasing after her.

But Pippin…he slept well that night, a smiled gracing his peaceful face.

* * * * * *

The next day was exciting for two reasons. First of all, a letter came to the Great Smials. Several actually – one for each of the great Took families inhabiting the large hobbit-hole. It was from Bilbo Baggins. An invitation to his and Frodo Baggins’ combined birthday party. Bilbo would be 111, and Frodo, 33, so the party was guaranteed to be a fantastic night for all.

Secondly, Esmeralda Took Brandybuck came to visit her brother, bringing her husband and son along. Pippin was very happy. He hadn’t seen his cousin Merry for a while. First chance he had, he told Merry about his little prank the previous day.

"Oh, Pippin, I wish I could have seen it!" said Merry while laughing. "Slimy things in Pimpernel’s bed!"

"The best part of all is that nobody suspected me at all!" cried Pippin. "Not even Pearl, who caught me at the pond, nor mother, who scolded me for coming home all muddy."

"I commend you, my dear cousin. I never managed to pull of such a wonderful prank. Of course, I don’t have any sisters to use it on, but there are always plenty of silly girls staying in Brandy Hall."

Once the two young hobbits had control of their laughter, Pippin changed the subject. "Oh, guess what arrived today. An invitation to Old Bilbo’s birthday party."

"Yes, we received one yesterday! I cannot wait. Parties are always a lot of fun." Merry grinned mischievously, indicating that he was not referring to party games, or any of the ‘traditional’ sources of fun.

Pippin mirrored Merry’s smirk. "Very true, Meriadoc. We shall have to plan what to do."

"Of course! Let’s see. We could…"

At that moment, Pervinca entered Pippin’s room. "Pippin? Merry? We are about to have lunch. Would you like to join us?"

A foolish question to ask any hobbit, especially Meriadoc Brandybuck and Peregrin Took. They raced out of the room, nearly knocking Pervinca over. Their planning and scheming would have to wait until their stomachs were satisfied.