Reviews (115)

Raksha The Demon · 8 January 2010 · Chapter 15: A foreseeable confrontation

Poor Deoric. Now I see where the title of the story comes from. I do think he might have gone about this more subtly, rather than verbally challenging all of Eomer's assumptions immediately so soon after a bitter war in which the Dunlendings did kill Rohirrim. Hopefully Eomer will eventually realize that he's been too hard on Deoric; and that perhaps the issue of the Dunlendings is not as simple as he had thought. A very dramatic chapter!

Celeritas · 8 January 2010 · Chapter 15: A foreseeable confrontation

Wham!! This was definitely foreseeable, but the power of Eomer King's anger still made it an incredible chapter. Yet he wasn't over the top or out of character--on the contrary I was reminded of the hotheadedness of his father (what little we know about him). Deoric definitely held his own in the argument, as best he could, but I think Eomer really stole the scene here (as he ought to--he's king, after all!). Remind me never to make him mad... I really enjoyed Gleowine's wisdom on the matter, and hope that he'll be able to help fix this new predicament. In the meantime, I dread to think of what's going to happen once Deoric gets home. Great chapter!

Sunny · 8 January 2010 · Chapter 15: A foreseeable confrontation

A good presentation of a truly nasty conflict. And one, which, unfortunately is mirrored in real life. Israeli: I am a shining Warrior of Light because a grandparent died in a German concentration camp, and God grants me the right to slay my enemies. Palestinian: *presents body count* I hope this is not too political for SOA, but I immediately thought of this...

Larner · 27 December 2009 · Chapter 13: Open spaces

Beautiful! Love the images you weave of the willows, and so true to my own experiences. Deoric is truly seeing as a painter does. Excellent!

Dreamflower · 27 December 2009 · Chapter 13: Open spaces

I love the way you show the contrast of Aldfrid's suspicions to Deoric's newly gained insight. It clearly foreshadows what Deoric may be up against when he returns with his new angle on things. This paragraph was just lovely: In the morning, Déoric felt strangely restless. It gave him a pang to think of Lunet left all alone in her cottage. They set off at dawn. As usual, Aldfrid spoke very little and Déoric joined in the silence. A light wind from the south blew his hair out of his face and its cool caress made his cheeks feel fresh and firm. In front of him, Aldfrid sat slightly hunched, his shoulders drawn up and his head bent forward. His thin braids fell down nearly to his waist and bounced gently to the rhythm of his trotting horse. Their pale, dull blonde colour suggested that they were shot with grey, and they were tied at the ends with slim leather ribbons of faded green. The smell of the horses undulated around the riders, a warm, almost spicy scent that carried a curiously mixed promise of both adventure and home. The steady movement of the animals was tranquilizing. Ivornel’s fur shone like a ripe chestnut freshly peeled from its shell, but to the touch of his hand it felt soft and silky. Such beautiful prose! I look forward to seeing Deoric's homecoming.

WendWriter · 19 December 2009 · Chapter 4: Pressing Questions

I love the way you've worked canon into this; the hints of a deeper connection between the Hobbits and the Rohirrim, and the mention of the Ring war have grounded this well. The more mundane aspects of life and the bit about the laundry make this seem more real. :D

WendWriter · 19 December 2009 · Chapter 3: Taking shape

I love the way you compare and contrast the frustrations of a pregnant woman confined to bed with that of a writer and artist who is new to his craft. :D

WendWriter · 19 December 2009 · Chapter 2: Ribbons

It was a great joy to read this again, to see how Deoric's tentative experiments with the paints and his renewed ability to ride were juxtaposed with Niarl's wooing and winning of his bride, and the task Deoric has been set - to collect the stories of his land. The scenes with Gleowine are lovely, and I hope to see more of your stories with the gruff old minstrel in.

Raksha The Demon · 17 December 2009 · Chapter 11: Winter Wonders

Well-written meeting between Deoric and the young Dunlendings. You've got me wondering what is going to happen to the wolf, though...

Raksha The Demon · 17 December 2009 · Chapter 12: Thaw

Looks like Deoric will soon be on his way home. I hope that Eomer will listen to him, though I have my doubts, since he's got a kingdom of his own that is recovering from war, and both Eomer and his Marshals might not think it wise to spend the resources of the Mark on an enemy people - a sad old story. Maybe Lothiriel will have pity on the Dunlendings.

Dreamflower · 14 December 2009 · Chapter 12: Thaw

Oh, oh, I do hope that Deoric is right-- though there may be some resistance at first, I do hope that Eomer will listen...

Larner · 13 December 2009 · Chapter 12: Thaw

The time for enmity is at an end, and now they need to reach out for one another. I'm glad he did the portrait, and Gimli sounds magnificent.

Larner · 9 December 2009 · Chapter 11: Winter Wonders

Two anticipating the spring, one awaiting his bride and the other praying the way home will be clear that he might welcome the birth of his bride. I'm with Lunet--he handled the boys well, and it appears that this village at least will find itself better prepared to deal positively with the Rohirrim than much or the rest of the Dunlanders. And you have chosen as well s you can with your naming conventions. Very good!

Dreamflower · 9 December 2009 · Chapter 11: Winter Wonders

Poor Eomer! Give him a battle over boredom any day. But his letter to Lothiriel was just adorable! And I enjoyed Deoric's encounter with the boys-- it was handled very well! But I can understand his shock at the news that no men came home to their village. I think it quite likely that the orcs *weren't* terribly concerned about their human "allies".

curiouswombat · 9 December 2009 · Chapter 11: Winter Wonders

Ah - poor Déoric - he is learning some difficult lessons here. As an aside, I think the use of the Welsh names is perfectly acceptable and works well.

Linda Hoyland · 7 December 2009 · Chapter 10: The abominable strawhead

This is an outstanding story,one of the best WIPS arround at present.I eagerly await each chapter. I have a friend who called her daughter, Tegan and she is married to a Welshman,so whoever thinks it is not a real name is mistaken. I think you use better names than some professional authors.I've just finished a book with a villain called, Fax!

WendWriter · 4 December 2009 · Chapter 1: Consider The Pond Skater

This is beautiful work. The prose is lovely and the imagery sublime. The characters are believable and, more importantly, lovable. You're on my favourite author list for a reason! :D The psychology is well-rendered, and this is a perfect sequel to The Measure of a Man. It's great to be able to show friends the high standard that fanfiction writers can attain. :D

Morthoron · 2 December 2009 · Chapter 10: The abominable strawhead

Personally, I think the Welsh naming convention is appropriate in a historic sense to represent the animosity between an Anglo-Saxon usurper and the displaced folk forced to live on hard-scrabble and stony ground. To say the Dunlender's Welsh names conflict with Sindarin is rather a stretch, considering Sindarin was 'influenced' by Welsh, and more likely the Middle-Welsh dialect reflected in the Mabinogi. It is a derivation, not a copy; therefore, concerns over the convention are much ado about nothing. Virtuella's use of modern Welsh names for Dunlenders parallels Tolkien's use of modern English names as translations for the original Westron for the Hobbits (Tom, Bill, Bob, etc.) or even more outlandish variants, like Italian/Latinate (Gerontius, Belladonna, Mirabella, Donnamira, Esmerelda, Ferdinand), Frankish/Norman (Odo, Otho, Otto and Fredegar), and even Welsh (Meriadoc, Gorbadoc, Gormodoc). Virtuella is using a modern language variation to both reflect a translation of an ancient tongue which Tolkien did not expand upon, as well as giving Dunland/Rohan hatred an historical perspective. I applaud her choice.

Almaenes · 27 November 2009 · Chapter 10: The abominable strawhead

I have followed your story with interest, although I have found it a bit too didactic for my taste at times. But, can you please stop using modern Welsh names and words for the Dunlendings? I can see what you are trying to do: Germanic invaders, indigenous people retreating into the hills, but there are two things which make me feel uneasy about this: 1. Tolkien modelled Sindarin on the Welsh language and their names on Welsh names. (He knew what he was doing, too. It's brilliant.) It does not sit well if the Dunlendings now get Welsh names. 2. You are not using modern English/Germanic names for the 'strawheads' are you ... no Alfred, Sven, Bent, Wolfgang, Heidrun or Solveig here ... so why do it for the other side? If you have to use real names, should you not go for Old Welsh or even Brythonic names, to keep in sync? Almaenes. P.S. Tegan is just the Welsh word for 'toy', by the way, and not a name.

Larner · 21 November 2009 · Chapter 10: The abominable strawhead

Ah--bless the four of them--the old woman who sees but another woman's son, Deoric for being willing to put aside the prejudices of his people, Eowyn in her birth pangs, and the newborn child, son of the Lady of the Shield-arm and the Prince of Ithilien! Wonderful puzzle he's managed to solve!

Celeritas · 18 October 2009 · Chapter 1: Consider The Pond Skater

This is such a great opening! I love your learned Faramir (and having the benefits of knowing the other chapters I can say I really enjoy his articulations of later philosophies--and knowing that they're incomplete!). I suspect the problem in his thoughts here is that getting so caught up in the greater good of a community can stifle individuality--humans are not a hive! The characterizations of Deoric and Fana in their early marriage are touching; you can tell that these two know and are comfortable with each other in a way that would have been impossible before their marriage. And Lothiriel is such a sly minx!--and I mean that in nothing but the most complimentary of terms, of course. I love the way you smoothly present the new challenges that will await Deoric in this story.

Celeritas · 14 October 2009 · Chapter 9: Story Time

I loved your description of the wedding, because I'm always fascinated by cultural events in the lives of ordinary people. I hope you won't leave Fana hanging in the lurch too long, though; I always squirm whenever a character's been unexpectedly away for a long time and then you find out what's been going on back home... And these stories are going to be amazing, both in and of themselves and in the impact that they have on Deoric's way of thinking. It's good that he's learned to trust Lunet (but none of the other Dunlendings are like that!), and that he has enough artistic integrity and/or curiosity to want to hear her side of the story. This should be very, very interesting.

Larner · 14 October 2009 · Chapter 9: Story Time

It's often difficult to see the other side's view of things, isn't it? Now he will have a more balanced idea of what MIGHT have truly happened, once he's ready to leave here. Too bad he's missed the wedding, though.

Agape4Gondor · 13 October 2009 · Chapter 9: Story Time

I truly love your style of writing. It is so pleasingly descriptive... not overly flowy, but strong as homespun wool... It just carries well. Love that Deoric will be bringing home 'new' stories for Eomer. I wonder what the King will think of that! Well written.

Agape4Gondor · 13 October 2009 · Chapter 8: Awakening

Oh drat - I was so hoping the poor wolf was still around... Poor Deoric - afraid he would lose another leg - I think that might be the death of him! Good chapter.