Queen Galadriel
· 15 June 2007
· Chapter 2: Why Mums and Dads Leave Home
ROTFL!
Oh, that's the best laugh I've had in a few days! I knew Nanny McPhee would be the one. And she's certainly needed here! LOL Such behavior! Lucky for Sam and Rosie it probably wasn't really like this.
“Daddy,” she said in a small voice as he took her in
his arms, “they were all horrible today--all of them! They’ve been fighting and Ruby was cutting things with my scissors--she crawled on top of my dresser
to get into my sewing bag, and she broke my glass cat! And Frodo and Rosie-lass got caught eating the strawberries for the Thain, and then Rosie had a
fit because Robin found her caramels, and Primmie’s been going blind all evening, and Daisy’s ashamed because she’s blue--never mind she spilled ink over
everything and it won’t wash off and I don’t know if we can get the stain out of the carpet, and my new bodice is all over dirt, and....” She couldn’t
go on, just rested in his arms, shaking, tears flowing down her face.
Aw, poor Ellie! But I must say, Primrose's hysterics over going blind from a little poke had me thinking of the movie A Christmas Story, when the boy dreams of going blind from "soap poisoning", hahahaha! I love the things young kids come up with (though in Primrose's case that really could have been dangerous).
I'd be interested to see how this bunch fared with Nanny McPhee. *grins*
God bless,
Galadriel
Author's reply
I now am fighting an urge to have Nanny McPhee and Travers's own Mary Poppins fighting for the honor to serve Lord Perhael's children in this capacity, and believe me, it's been difficult to resist THAT plot bunny! As for how this group would deal with being under Nanny McPhee's tutelage--well, that's a story for another time, and, due to restrictions on crossovers for this site, another board as well. But we will see what we will see, of course.
Kitty
· 15 June 2007
· Chapter 2: Why Mums and Dads Leave Home
*ROFL*
That was great, Larner! I was snickering through most of the chapter. The appearance of this gouvernante may not be realistic, but the behaviour of the children ... with so many, I think there *have* to be days when they behave horrible, all of them, and drive their parents to distraction. No wonder Sam decided to take only Elanor with them to Gondor!
Author's reply
Oh, did "Nanny McPhee" not play in Germany, then? A wonderful movie. At least I didn't have them putting little Robin into a pot and pretending to eat him as did the children in Nanny McPhee, or dropping spiders on people's heads--or shooting oatmeal out of slingshots.
And watching, as the movie progressed, Nanny McPhee losing her warts and her nose becoming nobler, her standing straighter, her tooth becoming more normal--it was quite a wonderful transformation.
But I agree--there had to be days when they wondered WHY on earth they'd decided to have twelve--and then come home from Gondor with another!
Glad I gave you a nice chuckle!
demeter d
· 13 June 2007
· Chapter 1: What Was that Job Description?
Giggling, snorking, snerking, like the rest! You can indeed write comedy as well as drama. The one who was hesitating to read HP reminded me of something my daughter heard John Rhyss-Davies say in an interview. He had been asked what he thought of the Potter books. He said that they were the appetizer, and WE are the main course. A slightly easier read to lead children into the worlds of worthwhile fantasy. And, the comment about Gandalf and Dumbledore as "collegues" reminded me of another story on-line. There is a site called "Parma Erussen" which is still up, but has not added anything new since April 2006, as the webmaster would like someone else to take it over. There is a story called "Harry Potter and the Ring of Gold", subtitled "Year Three and One Half", by author Mordomin. Somehow the Ring of Power is stolen on the edge of the fire, with an Eagle in hot pursuit. Somehow it ends up in MODERN, not Middle Earth, and is given to Harry for safekeeping. Add in black riders on Privet Drive, and a new Defense teacher named "Professor Sharkey", and a visit from a wizard whom Dumbledore introduces to Harry as "a collegue". More serious than hilarious, but anyone who enjoyed yours might like to take a look at it, too.
Author's reply
I'd just been listening to the Jim Dale recordings of the books as I drove to and from Oregon for a visit and back and forth to work, and had just finished "Chamber of Secrets." I'd just finished "Go Out in Joy," and needed to shake off the angst. I was riding with my daughter and asked her for an idea to write on. She couldn't think of one, so I came up with this.
I've read only one HP/LOTR crossover, and the author had written five chapters and let it languish, just before book six was released. I lost the link when the computer crashed, but it had been suggested on a discussion list I was on as a story one of the list members particularly liked. I read it--Varda is most upset that the descendants of the house of Telcontar have become Draco and Lucius Malfoy, and has managed to do an exchange where four Hobbits end up in Hogwarts excited by flush toilets ("self-cleaning privies") while Harry, Draco, Ginny, and Luna Lovegood (and maybe Pansy Parkinson--don't remember), find themselves inside a barrow facing a barrow-wight. Harry finds himself identifying Aragorn with Sirius Black, and they're on the way to Rivendell when the story stopped. I'll have to see if I can find it again sometime.
But Saruman and Gandalf in Hogwarts would be quite impressive, I'm certain. And I can just imagine Dudley Dursley facing Black Riders--MUCH more scary than mere Dementors! He'd wet himself at the very least.
Anyway, glad you liked this one. Have an idea for the next one, but have to figure out which set of children ought to be involved. Heh!
Elemmírë
· 31 May 2007
· Chapter 1: What Was that Job Description?
Hi Larner,
I was perusing your tales and realized I'd never read this one yet. OMG!! This is absolutely hysterical, most especially as I very recently read 'The Chamber of Secrets'. Your description of Gilderoy is spot-on and your details were vivid. I can just picture him standing in Aragorn's court, flashing those perfect white teeth and expecting to be bowed to or asked to share many a "heroic" tale. He must have been so disappointed when the King didn't request to hear of his qualifications against the Dark Arts.
And the bit with the house elves ... ROTFL!!! I don't know if you've ever seen the Easter Eggs on the TTT:EE, but there is one with Gollum accepting an award from MTV for his perfomance in the film. It's ripe with expletives, but it's hysterical, especially what Gollum has to say to Smeagol about Dobby the House Elf from Harry Potter.
Wizarding wands and schools may work just fine in Harry Potter, but I really can't picture Gandalf holding anything other than his trademark staff.
And then, to imagine Gimli wielding his axe and then perhaps adding to his running tally with Legolas had me in stitches! It was the perfect ending!
Thanks for laugh! I needed it!
~Elemmírë~
Author's reply
Glad you found it. This was one that sprang itself on me just after I'd finished "Go Out in Joy," when I was needing a laugh. I often play audio books as I'm driving, and had just been listening to Jim Dale's reading of "Chamber of Secrets" on my way back from Oregon, and this is what came out when I decided to write something truly absurd.
And, YES, I've seen all the Easter eggs, and that one is hilarious. Dobby and everyone else came in for their share of abuse in that one, including PJ himself, of course.
At least Gimli would have one count Legolas couldn't match--an almost-Squib, not that Gimli could truly match movie Legolas's mumak. Heh!
grumpy
· 9 April 2007
· Chapter 1: What Was that Job Description?
Nice try Gilderoy. but Gondor needs a better wizard then you. I am with Gimli, off with his head.
Author's reply
Yes, Gondor needs MUCH better than Lockheart. But he'd look good as a jester, although he'd never realize just how he fit the job. So glad you read this one.
Inkling
· 24 March 2007
· Chapter 1: What Was that Job Description?
Well! This wizard sure wasn't sent by the Valar. Gimli is never going to let Legolas live down the House-elf thing! A fun idea...
Re: your intro, did you mean Jasper Fforde, and does that mean the Chronoguard may be dropping into Middle-earth next (make that Next)?
Author's reply
No, I doubt the Valar had a good deal to do with the sending of THIS one, either.
I hate when my mind does that. Thanks for the correction. And of course we will have to keep our eyes peeled for the Nexts, won't we? Heh!
As for Gimli allowing Legolas to forget that one--well, of course not!
Glad it gave you a giggle.
Linda Hoyland
· 20 March 2007
· Chapter 1: What Was that Job Description?
Very enjoyable. I could just picture the scene !
Author's reply
I "heard" it first, then saw it. Comes from listening to the Jim Dale recordings and contemplating getting a new car-quality CD player so I can play LOTR as I drive.
Armariel
· 20 March 2007
· Chapter 1: What Was that Job Description?
BUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!!!!!! Who'd a thought it??? hehehe Not gonna happen, indeed....well, you have taken a different tack and no mistaking...but hey, if the bunny bites! Look forward to seeing more of these............
~~~{~@
Author's reply
Glad this has given so many a giggle. Thank you, Armariel.
Bodkin
· 20 March 2007
· Chapter 1: What Was that Job Description?
The second option, Gimli! Go for it!
This menace is greater than Sauron - and far more resistant to the power of public pressure, because he's far less sensitive and receptive to criticism.
Author's reply
I'm afraid Aragorn just might find himself wishing he'd followed that suggestion, had such a thing ever happened.
Thanks so for the second opinion! Heh!
Socrates399
· 20 March 2007
· Chapter 1: What Was that Job Description?
I really like your serious stories...but I LOVE the idea of Gilderoy in Gondor! HAHA! (I love him in the book, and Kenneth Branagh's rendition of him in the movie was priceless!)
I am now trying to imagine Gandalf with a wand...and I think I'm glad Tolkien gave him a staff.
"He stood upon the bridge alone
and Fire and Shadow both defied;
his wand was broken on the stone,
in Khazad-dum his wisdom died."
It loses something, no?
Author's reply
I've been listening to the Jim Dale readings (one day I'll have to listen to the Library of Congress reading and compare the two, as many of my blind friends love the reader's renditions there), and then comparing them in my mind to the Rob Inglis reading of LOTR, and this just occurred to me. Had asked the daughter to give me an idea of what to write about, and this plot bunny attacked instead.
As for that verse--Oh, dear, but it DOES lose a great deal with wand substituted for staff.
Thanks for leaving me the note. This story has been pounced upon rapidly, I note.
Raksha The Demon
· 20 March 2007
· Chapter 1: What Was that Job Description?
So Aragorn meets Gilderoy the Golden. Snork! Pathetic House-elves, indeed! How long will it be before Gilderoy is selling snake-oil in the streets of Minas Tirith?
Author's reply
Dreamflower snerks and you snork--I see even more giggles have been generated.
Hmm--snake oil in the streets of Minas Tirith? Hmmmm......
Thanks for the response.
Dreamflower
· 20 March 2007
· Chapter 1: What Was that Job Description?
Glad it gave you a well-deserved giggle, Dreamflower. Poor Elessar, or poor Lockheart? I doubt he truly understands what he's let himself in for, you know.
SurgicalSteel
· 20 March 2007
· Chapter 1: What Was that Job Description?
*falls off chair laughing*
Oh, that was priceless!
Author's reply
So glad it gave you a giggle. Thanks for the note.
Elflingimp
· 20 March 2007
· Chapter 1: What Was that Job Description?
Gildaroy in M.E.? Whaaaat!!!!!!! LOL(How ever did you think of this one?)LOL
Author's reply
Well, don't you think he might have considered a different job, just before he lost his memory? Heh!
I have the full set of the HP books to date on cassette, and often listen to them as I make longer drives. As it takes about forty-five minutes just to get to my normal weekend job, I listen to about a side each way; and as I was having to drive back from my daughter's new job last night for well over an hour, I listened to one full tape and parts of two others. Had just finished "The Chamber of Secrets" and was contrasting the voice Jim Dale gives Lockheart with that Rob Inglis gives Gandalf, and the idea hit me. As my daughter drove us down there I whipped out the laptop and started writing, and read it to her as we arrived, before she surrendered the keys to me so I could return home.
So glad it gave folks a giggle!
Baggins Babe
· 20 March 2007
· Chapter 1: What Was that Job Description?
Go Gimli! I'm with the dwarf on this one! 'House elf'?! What a fool......
This is priceless, Larner - not often I read one of your tales and collapse in giggles - I'm usually too busy sniffling! :-))
Author's reply
Author Reply: So glad I can evoke both emotions! Having just finished "Chamber" once more and being started on "Prisoner" once more, the contrast between the two universes and how their stories are told hit me, and I found myself just imagining Lockheart trying to apply for what he saw as Gandalf's old job.... And now you see what resulted! Thanks for the review.
harrowcat
· 20 March 2007
· Chapter 1: What Was that Job Description?
Thanks for posting this Larner. I needed the grin as I head down the motorway yet again to take mum to a pressure mapping test. I love the contrast between wizards to two universes and I really do prefer ME, (although I admit to reading Potter & co). Mind you, a wand is definitely more portable than a staff!
Author's reply
I bet she gets SO tired of pressure mapping tests! Have a former client who's now partially paralyzed due to cervical collapse due to osteoporosis who is now getting them on a regular basis.
Felt we needed something completely silly for a change.
I, too, prefer ME, although I love Dumbledore as much as I do Gandalf, and honor his wisdom. And you're certainly right--a wand is MUCH more portable than a staff.
Kitty
· 20 March 2007
· Chapter 1: What Was that Job Description?
*ROFL*
Gilderoy Lockhart as replacement for Gandalf? Then I can only hope he has his memories back, or they should take his wand, before something happens! But to call the twins and Legolas "house elves" and "pathetic" - uh oh. He should be more careful *evil grin*
Now you got me thinking - what would happen if Aragorn would send him to fight Orcs? Would he vanish, coward that he is? Or try a spell on them? They'd probably end up in pink instead of black or the like, considering his abilities - I doubt they would be impressed with his Most Charming Smile Awards *giggles*
Author's reply
Quite the thing to contemplate, isn't it? Snaga in pink and Gorbag in glaring turquoise, do you think? Heh! Although his memory charms might actually be useful against the likes of Lurch, don't you think?
And you do have to remember that his acquaintance with elves is quite limited--he's not met those of the true Fair Folk, I fear. You must give him some leeway--but not too much, lest he manage to debone Aragorn's arm or turn Anduril into a rubber chicken....
Grey Wonderer
· 20 March 2007
· Chapter 1: What Was that Job Description?
Gilderoy Lockheart? LOL That is priceless. I'm guessing Aragorn's 'house elves' are going to kill him, aren't they? Great idea, this.
Author's reply
Oh, I'm certain they're considering it. Glad it evoked a laugh.
Queen Galadriel
· 19 March 2007
· Chapter 1: What Was that Job Description?
*giggles helplessly* Oh, do be careful! This does touch on the borders of what is allowed here, but I'm not complaining...LOL! Very ironic. And I'm sure I'll appreciate the joke still more when I've read Harry Potter. I was afraid to at first because of all the rumours going around, but a very dear and trusted friend recently held forth on them for about half an hour and convinced me that I really want to read them after all. :) Now, to find the time to get the books and jump in, that is the challenge.
Thank you, I so needed a good laugh tonight! :)
God bless,
Galadriel
Author's reply
Gandalf would feel most at home with Albus Dumbledore as a colleague, you know. Definitely brothers under the skin, both devoted to encouraging their pupils to become the best they can be and to face evil and beat it as best can be done.
The Dean at Gloucester Cathedral found it highly amusing that so many fundamentalist Christians were protesting the use of the cathedral as Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry during the filming of the first film, for he found the HP books to be definitely on the list of books he would wish his own children to read. To see the stories as teaching "true" witchcraft or as some kind of introduction to Wicca or paganism is foolish. They are definitely Good versus Evil, with Good being urged on constantly. They are fantasy stories; and anyone who thinks one can actually use "alohamora" to cause a door to unlock itself or "wingardium leviosa" to cause objects to levitate and sees these as serious "spells" is only fooling himself in order to feel threatened.
I happen to have the entire series (so far) on cassette with Jim Dale narrating, and often play them while I must make long drives to help keep me more alert and awake. Am rereading book three in this way at the moment.
But if Frodo can get a night of respite while the Fellowship traverses Moria with Lassie and Timmy's family while Timmy follows after Merry and Pippin or the folk of the Fellowship can prepare to take a "three hour tour," both of which stories I giggled at on this site, certainly the court of the High King could wonder at the vacuous personality of this one pathetic excuse for a wizard.
Glad you enjoyed the joke. Giggle away--we need it at times.