I suppose it's a good thing that Elladan didn't trust his instincts and start trying to dig through all those rocks. After all he had some other great options -- avoiding orc patrols, keeping himself from getting hopelessly lost and trusting that somehow he would find Elrohir and Estel again. Easy choices all. Like the thought link thing where the brothers can sense each other's feelings and thoughts. Aw. Poor Estel. He's having to grow up awfully fast but then he does, of course, rise to the occasion (not without some deliciously despairing thoughts first though). I liked the part about the 'hero worshiping' part of him and then the 'older, wiser' part of him. Very nicely written because there comes that time when we all have to put aside our hero worshiping for a healthy dose of reality.
Thank goodness for horse tranquilizer. Great stuff in an emergency. Kind of made me grin, actually, but after all, what other option did our fledgling king have? Forgot about the orcs' sensory sensitivity, though. Another great scene. Darn good thing Estel is brave or Elrohir would have been in for a pretty bad time!
Great exploration of what Tolkien left unsaid as to Aragorn's 'great deeds'. I will be reading the next chapter as soon as it comes through. Enjoy your holiday!
Author's reply
Although he's worried sick, Elladan is wise and experienced enough to stop and think as well. He knows that if he disregards his own safety, he'll never reach Elrohir and Estel at all. It's still not easy, though!
Estel is really proving himself now. He's brave and resourceful, but still lacks confidence - wondering if he's doing the right thing (especially with the horse tranquilliser!)
The next chapter is finally posted, too.
Silvertree
· 15 June 2006
· Chapter 4: Reunion
So far so good Jay,when's the next chapter coming?
-Silvertree
Author's reply
The next chapter is about half written, but won't be posted for another two weeks as I'm going on holiday. Hopefully I'll finish the chapter and be able to post it as soon as I get back.
grumpy
· 10 June 2006
· Chapter 4: Reunion
I am very much enjoying your story of Estel and the twins, in there trip into deep dark places, filled with evil orcs. I did like Estel's quick thinking to get Elrohir to be silent.
Author's reply
Thanks for reviewing. Poor Estel was in a desperate situation there - he hated doing that to Elrohir, but really didn't have a choice. It would have been far, far worse if the orcs had heard Elrohir and found him like that :(
viggomaniac
· 10 June 2006
· Chapter 3: Disaster Strikes
Well, Estel managed to quite clear-headed in the midst of all that chaos *reviewer pats Estel on head*. I'm sure I would have reacted completely differently and now I'd be orc fodder. Anyways, great chapter. I really like your writing. It's very vivid and maturely written and you have more than enough drama/angst to keep me happy. Now, now Elladan. Don't you know better than to berate the young human in a situation like this? (Sounds like me when I'm in the car when my son is driving)...I'm bettin' Elladan's going to regret doing that, but hey, who am I? What do you mean, I must have read the next chapter already? Okay, it's true. Love those orcs. They are have almost delightfully crude manners (may not be the right word, but hope you can overlook that :>) and they are easy to despise. And what a cliffhanger. Glad you've already posted chapter four. Fantastic story so far!
Author's reply
Poor Estel. He's coping remarkably well with some dire situations, and really doesn't need Elladan's anger on top of that. He knows it's only because Elladan is worried about him, but still ...
Elladan already knows he shouldn't have lost his temper, and is going to have to apologise - especially when he realises how well young Estel has cared for Elrohir.
Next chapter will be delayed for a couple of weeks - I'm off on holiday, and won't have time to post before I leave. I'll still be writing, though!
elliska
· 7 June 2006
· Chapter 4: Reunion
You and your super scary stories! When Estel saw the torch light I almost had a heart attack and when the orc pulled back the cloak! I was so relieved that it wasn't worse. And I was incredibly relieved when, in the end, Elladan showed up. Of course they are not out yet...You certainly know how to write a really tense chapter!
Author's reply
*Grin* I wrote the line about Elrohir's eyes contracting in the torchlight - then thought 'Damn! They haven't *got* a torch!' I knew the orcs were creeping up though - and it seemed a great way to introduce them.
There's something very chilling about poor Elrohir being mauled by the orc while he's unconcious, so I was as relieved as everyone else when Elladan turned up. They all need a little TLC before the next chapter.
French Pony
· 7 June 2006
· Chapter 4: Reunion
Kudos to Estel and his cool head in a crisis! Even at such a young age, one can see how he'll grow into the unflappable Aragorn we all know and love. Elrohir is a very lucky Elf, though he's likely to be pretty miserable for the next few weeks, especially after being doped with horse tranquilizer. Galadriel has some interesting foresight there.
Author's reply
This story is the turning point for Estel - when he does his great deeds with the twins, and starts to become Aragorn.
Elrohir is very lucky he was there - things would have been very nasty if the orcs had come along if he was trapped under those rocks and alone :( I'm not sure what effect horse sedatives have on an elf, but it's probably what's making Elrohir feel so sick. Fortunately Estel only used a little.
French Pony
· 7 June 2006
· Chapter 3: Disaster Strikes
You do like dropping things on Elrohir, don't you? He probably sees you coming and turns to flee instantly.
I like seeing the twins' different personalities come out in times of stress. Elladan's temper is his major weakness, so it's good that he has Elrohir along to soften his edges. Estel can learn quite a bit from watching them both together. Of course, he still hasn't learned to stay still once you realize you're lost, but that's another matter.
Author's reply
Poor Elrohir. I do rather make him suffer. Poor elf :>)
Elladan's problem is that he sees himself as a protector for the others (theydon't) see it like that, of course!) When they're in danger, his concern turns to anger after the event. He knows it's a failing (and Elrohir's pointed it out many times) but he can't help it.
French Pony
· 7 June 2006
· Chapter 2: A Journey In The Dark
Danger, Will Robinson!
I love the journey down into the rock. It's creepy, yet fascinating, especially when the explorers discover the algae lines on the wall. Very practical, very Dwarvish. It also serves as a reminder that Moria has its own mysteries apart from whatever nasties now live there.
Author's reply
My explorers needed a light source for when they can't carry torches, or when the torches go out - but it's too convenient if the algae is just there. I had to think of a way to explain it and I'm quite sure the Dwarves were clever enough to farm the algae.
Author Reply: BTW, I like the Space Family Robinson quote!
French Pony
· 7 June 2006
· Chapter 1: An Unseen Menace
Now that I have a little time, I'm going back to catch up on some stories I haven't had time for earlier. This looks like it'll be a good one. You have a knack for writing horror, good character-based horror, so I'm looking forward to this. I like the deliberate pacing of this chapter -- not too fast, but enough of a build-up to get the spine tingling pleasantly.
I thought only the Dwarves knew Khuzdul, and that they never taught it to anyone else.
Author's reply
Thank you! My favourite part of writing is in describing and developing the characters - and a little horror and angst is good too!
Khuzdul *is* supposed to be a secret language - but Gimli was very free with it when he named all the mountains for the Fellowship, so I decided that E3 could well know a little.
Nilmandra
· 6 June 2006
· Chapter 4: Reunion
Estel had to feel completely trapped during those long moments when he was along with an unconscious Elrohir. Can't go forward, can't go back, inexperienced to know any tricks, and responsible for someone who is defenseless. He's fortunate he's not having to learn this lesson alone. Not that I envy them trying to get out of this mess!
Author's reply
Estel would probably have felt better about this if he'd been alone - he'd have fought the orcs, found a way out, or got back to Elladan. But he can't, because he knows he can't leave Elrohir. This is teaching him a lot about responsibility and difficult choices, but he'll be glad to hand some of the responsibility over to Elladan.
hanci
· 6 June 2006
· Chapter 4: Reunion
To go around... brrr. Poor Elladan.
Smashed medicines - what a luck. Well, better the medicines than Estel. And the horse tranquiliser survived. :o)
I really thought that trick with the cloak would work (well, based on the movie) - I didn't thought of the blood. That was really great.
Well, the orcs wanted to go back, where to? Elladan probably knows.
Estel not believing Elrohir it was Elladan - he's adopting the attitude 'better safe than sorry'.
(It's a bit disjointed, sorry.)
Author's reply
The trick with the cloak did work - too well. The orc didn't notice Elrohir until it stepped on him; and even the cloak couldn't camouflage that. (Though you're right, it was a pure movie moment!)
Bearing in mind what's happened, and all he's been through, you can't really blame Estel for being over cautious, can you?
hanci
· 6 June 2006
· Chapter 3: Disaster Strikes
(I can't believe I missed this update!)
Glad no one became lost when looking for each other - that's usually the best way to go about it. And it's good to see even the elves are influenced by terrifying stories.
Author's reply
Poor Elrohir - in a place like this, it's no wonder his imagination ran away with him :>) I can see the older elven warriors terrifying the younger ones with scary stories round a camp fire. It's the sort of thing Glorfindel would do!
paranoidangel
· 6 June 2006
· Chapter 4: Reunion
You're so horrible to these characters! I thought they weren't doing too badly really, I should have known something like this was going to happen. I can't imagine how they're going to get out, now they have few supplies and an injured Elrohir to contend with, as well as the orcs being a problem.
Author's reply
Horrible? At least I've got them back together instead of making everyone wait for the next chapter! Don't forget, this is Moria, and Estel has 'evil memories' of the place - so something bad had to happen :>)
At least Elladan's supplies are intact - but what are they going to do about Elrohir? *Grin* I have some plans there ...
nessa
· 6 June 2006
· Chapter 4: Reunion
I am enjoying this story so much. The tension mounts and we are all wondering what is going to happen next. They have a long way to go before they are out of there, and now there are injuries to deal with. Does Elrohir remember Estel drugging him? Or will he?
Author's reply
Elrohir remembers something happening - but not what, or who. It's all caught up in nightmares at the moment. How much he'll remember, we'll have to see.
Although E3 are back together again, their problems aren't over yet - but they're together. That's the main thing.
Bodkin
· 6 June 2006
· Chapter 4: Reunion
Phew - I'm glad Elladan managed to find his way round to Elrohir and Estel. Especially since Estel's medicines are smashed and Elrohir's are under a pile of rock. See, Elladan? It really was quite simple!
It probably helps that he's tuned to his brother. That and natural talent.
Estel coped well with the ton of problems that landed on his head like a load of ... rocks, but he's still very young - the arrival of Elladan must be a huge relief. He's not ready for taking the leader's role just yet.
How Elladan is going to cope is a whole other can of worms, though. It's useful that the piles of orc bodies won't cause much alarm - but they've got to deal with their unfortunate smell (pongy elves), find out what they can and fish out a concussed Elrohir with a broken leg. In the dark.
Looking forward to finding out how!
Author's reply
Estel's coping well, and doing his great deeds now, and maturing fast - but you're right, he's very relieved to see Elladan, and not just because he knows it will help Elrohir more than anything else could. Elladan, his medicines and his supplies are a welcome sight.
You've summed up very nicely the problems that still confront them - the main one being how the heck they are going to get Elrohir out without the orcs noticing. Elrohir is going to have his own suggestions - but his brothers aren't going to like it ...
Fire
· 5 June 2006
· Chapter 4: Reunion
I love Elladan realisation: "All he had to do was to avoid prowling orc patrols, keep himself from becoming hopelessly lost, and trust that he would be able to find his brothers again in this nightmarish place.
He sighed. Oh yes, it all sounded so simple."
Now that sounds easy .. NOT.
It's good that Estel was able to keep is thoughts together when the orcs approached, quick thinking to use the paste to control restless horses to keep Elrohir from alerting them. That's what I call making good use of what you got at hand :)
I love the way you write the bond between the twins and how they just keep calling eachother El.
I love to read more of this so keep it coming please.
Author's reply
Poor Elladan. He knew his brothers were hurt, and knew he had to reach them somehow. He also knew it would be almost impossible (but, being fanfic, he succeeded.)
Estel is proving himself very resourceful here - it's the start of the 'great deeds' hinted at in the beginning of the story - and he's growing up very, very fast.
I've had the twins call each other 'El' since I first started writing about them. It was their way of making it even harder for people to tell them apart - and now they're so used to it they couldn't change.
daw the minstrel
· 5 June 2006
· Chapter 4: Reunion
Moving rocks like that must be sort of like playing Pick-up Stix, a game I played as a kid where you had to pick up these thin sticks without disturbing the other ones. Tricky as heck.
I'm glad you let us see Elladan's arrival though. That settles everyone down a little: Elrohir, Estel, Elladan, and me. :-)
Author's reply
And when you moved a stick you shouldn't, it was someone else's turn. Game over in this case would be a bit more permanent :(
I decided I'd done enough cliff hangers, so it was time for a cosy reunion scene. All three are very glad to see each other!
elliska
· 28 May 2006
· Chapter 3: Disaster Strikes
You and your cliffhangers! :-) Great action in this chapter, but I have to admit my favorite line was the orc's (Somethin’ like elf – but not quite. There’s somethin’ else as well.” “Elf?” the other queried. It licked its lips. “Where?” ) Everything about that was twisted, sick and funny.
Author's reply
Whoops! Sorry, I missed replying to this review.
You know, it's not often I've been described as 'twisted, sick and funny' - but thank you! It was rather the effect I was after. The new chapter's up, and look! No cliffhanger!
Bodkin
· 27 May 2006
· Chapter 3: Disaster Strikes
Estel did well - he's been blooded now and will never be the same, but, given his future career in orc slaughter...
I'm not surprised that Elladan was livid with him - but this is not the place to have WORDS with Estel about working as a team.
And a roof-fall! On Elrohir! That poor twin does get the rough end of all sorts of things. Although I suppose it could be Estel under the rubble. But whoever - and even if they are just separated by it - it's not going to be easy to get out of an orc-filled Moria, with a new breed of orcs on the prowl and a selection of orc-corpses around for their fellows to find.
It's worrying! I hope the next chapter is flowing from your fingers - you don't want to leave Elrohir under rocks for too long.
Of course, any time you want to elaborate on Elrohir's story about Elladan... “One day, I will tell you about our first patrol. It was very nearly Elladan’s last!” Elladan might not be keen, but I'm sure Estel would like to hear it!
Author's reply
Estel did do well - this is the first time he's killed, and while I don't think he'll agonise too much about killing a couple of orcs, it's still the first step on a new road.
Poor Elrohir. I do tend to torture him. But Estel is about to prove his credentials as a team player, and make Elladan eat his Words.
And the twins' first patrol? At the moment I have no idea what happened - but I'll work on it, and Estel will find out as soon as I do.
nessa
· 26 May 2006
· Chapter 3: Disaster Strikes
I felt so bad for Estel as Elladan treated him so badly. I'm sure he felt that way for now. Later he may feel like he deserved it. At least he has Elrohir to stick up for him. They do all act like brothers though.
Author's reply
You feel bad for Estel? Elladan is going to feel ten times worse. He was angry with both his brothers last night - and now the tunnels have collapsed on top of them :(
'They do all act like brothers though.' Thank you - I try hard to get characterisations and relationships realistic.
Nilmandra
· 26 May 2006
· Chapter 3: Disaster Strikes
Nice job with the tension in this chapter. Estel did do well and likely did learn something. I think he does need to learn what Elladan did on his first patrol, LOL. Does make you wonder how the dwarves and orcs learned their way about the massive caverns, and how many got lost forever themseles.
Another nice thing about orcs being found dead is that they are known for killing each other. Hopefully that will work to the twins and Estel's advantage.
Author's reply
Estel will find out about Elladan's first patrol as soon as I do. At the moment, I haven't a clue about what happened!
That's a good point about orcs killing each other randomly. I've been thinking of ways to account for the rising bodycount without the orcs realising what's going on - but there's not really much need!
Fire
· 26 May 2006
· Chapter 3: Disaster Strikes
It's good to see Estel stand his ground against the orcs, very good indeed.
I do however see Elladan's point as well, he must be quite worried for his youngest brother. Especially when you keep in mind what happend to the twins mother. The twins will have to learn that their little brother can handle himself. You do leave us with quite a clifhanger though, disaster did indeed strike.
Author's reply
I think after the training Estel would have had in Imladris from the twins and Glorfindel, he'd be more than capable to handling the orcs. The twins just need to remember that, and trust him.
You should know me by now - I love cliffhangers!
daw the minstrel
· 26 May 2006
· Chapter 3: Disaster Strikes
As if Orcs, the darkness of Moria, and a hidden Balrog aren't enough (and btw, under the circumstances, Balrog's Balls is appropriate), the roof falls in! It never rains but it pours.
The twins must be experiencing a real mix of emotions. Estel is a warrior so he's going to be in danger and they know that and have trained him for it, but they still want to keep him safe.
Author's reply
Well, unfortunately for the twins and Estel, I can't let them find the Balrog - so there has to be other unpleasantness to occupy them ;/
Of course the twins want to keep their little brother safe, but Estel is about to prove his worth. Elladan's the one I'm sorry for - he's going to feel very guilty about his anger now the tunnels have caved in on his brothers :(
grumpy
· 25 May 2006
· Chapter 2: A Journey In The Dark
Very good start to your story. Love ones with Estel and his brothers. Poor Estel, not only did the twins disappear on him. He has been found by something he would rather not be found by.
Author's reply
The twins disappeared on Estel? Well, I suppose from his view they did! :>)
Although I nearly always write about the twins, I don't have that many which include Estel - but I'm interested in the 'great deeds' he performed.
paranoidangel
· 22 May 2006
· Chapter 2: A Journey In The Dark
This would be me catching up on reviews! I really liked this story so far. You've done really well with the whole creepiness factor, especially at the end of chapter 2. I know they must get away in the end but I'm so afraid they're not!
Author's reply
Well, they'll get away, but Estel's memories of this are 'evil' ... I'm glad you liked the creepiness and tenseness.
Don't worry about late reviews - I know you've been busy. Anyway, I love them. They're like an unexpected gift!