TithenFeredir
· 20 March 2005
· Chapter 28: When Wiser Eyes Turn Elsewhere
I think this chapter had great tension to it, but of a different sort than previous ones. Everyone is still on edge as before, but now it seems overshadowed by pre-battle anxiety. They have found their objective and have a plan, but they are also very aware of the danger they face. It's like the quiet before the storm. I really liked Gimli's comment to the hobbits that they had the best assignment, relatively out of harm's way. That seems like something an experienced warrior would really say. This was good. On to the battle... TF
Author's reply
I'm glad the tension evolved somewhat. I dragged far too much out during the last few chapters, and the only saving grace was my hope that the tension didn't stay constant. I wanted it to mutate into different forms of fear. So your comments were very reassuring. I still need to do some drastic revisions, but that probably won't happen for a while. Anyway, I hope you enjoy the battle. It does get underway, though it's also a bit drawn out.
TithenFeredir
· 17 March 2005
· Chapter 27: The Last Debates
"He did not know how his foster brother did it, but somehow, Elrohir managed to give the perception of motionless shock without breaking stride. It was rather impressive, actually, and had circumstances been different, Aragorn would have tried to startle Elrohir into doing it again."
This just cracked me up! It looks like an occupational hazard associated with having a Man for a foster brother---he messes with you. LOL!
That said, there are some interesting and disturbing developments in this chapter. I'm wondering if Elladan's strange visions are a device of the enemy or some sort of connection to Legolas. Since Haldir and Orophin have found the cliffside entrance to the cave, Elladan's impressions have some accuracy, but the uncertain souce makes it worrisome. I wonder if the main force are sniffing at the wrong orc-hole, if Haldir and Orophin are in really big trouble and if Elladan will pay a price for his visions. I wonder even more how you find the threads to weave into an intricate plot like this. It's just amazing. TF
Author's reply
Glad you liked that line! It was one of my favorites from the chapter. As for Elladan's "visions" or whatever they might be, you're on the right track in some of your suspicions but a little off in others. Hopefully more things will be explained in subsequent chapters, but Elladan's impressions will play a role soon.
TithenFeredir
· 16 March 2005
· Chapter 26: Against the Grindstone
The part with Rosie and Arwen in the Hall of fire conjured up a real feeling of quiet and melancholy; it felt sort of like the eye of the storm they're all in. The discussion of elven memory and sorrow sort of lingering in that place was lovely.
As for the rest of the chapter, it looks like you are moving all the players into place for a confrontation soon. TF
Author's reply
I've always been fascinated by the Hall of Fire. I haven't been able to play with it a lot during this fic, but the few times it has come up, I've really enjoyed it.
TithenFeredir
· 15 March 2005
· Chapter 25: Delving into Darkness
Oooo, where do I begin? It was neat the way you had the Mouth of Sauron sort of tenderly smooth the creases from Legolas' brow, the only outward evidence of his inwardly chaotic and traumatized state. The comparison of elvish complexity and a hobbit's simple toughness was intriguing, as was the way their strengths were in the end used to defeat them. I can't wait to see to what use the MoS puts them. BTW, I admire the way you juggled your various terms for the Mouth of Sauron. That had to be difficult, but it worked well. Too bad he didn't have a regular name like Bob or Fred or something, LOL!
Orophin's internal dialogue was simultaneously sad and frightening, to see how the darkness wove into his grief to create such delusional thinking. Then to have him and Haldir exchange such hurtful words, Orophin in his grieving rage and Haldir trying to snap him out of it. It was an excellent emotional crescendo before you broke the dam and let them grieve together. Powerful stuff! TF
Author's reply
Well, Bob/Fred/Man-Who-Was-Not-Quite-A-Man definitely made narrative work a challenge. He taught me that it was okay to fall back on pronouns now and again, something I've never been very comfortable doing. As for Legolas and Merry, it was stated several times in LotR just how different hobbits were from the rest of the group, and I thought I'd drag that in here, too. It's going to affect how Merry and Legolas ultimately get over this, because they'll have very different reactions and motivations once they get back to Rivendell.
As for Orophin and Haldir, I'm glad you liked that scene as it was one of the most difficult I've ever had to write. Orophin proved harder to provoke than I first anticipated, and both Haldir and I seemed reluctant to push him. It was an interesting section, but I'm very grateful that you enjoyed it. Thanks for the review!
TithenFeredir
· 8 March 2005
· Chapter 24: Answers and Tempers
A broken body and a mind devoid of all hope...and the purpose to turn Merry and Legolas into something similar to an orc. You create sonme real foreboding in that. It's good that the four groups have at last devised a plan of sorts, but the tension is still getting thicker all the time. I really liked the battle of wills between Thranduil and Celeborn...I imagine the air crackled around them! I'm hoping that you are going to write Mery and Legolas' healing after this is over! TF
Author's reply
I had great fun putting Celeborn and Thranduil...well, not at odds, but not entirely on the same side of the issue. They're very similar in many respects, but they're also worlds apart, so it's itneresting to see where they stand with one another. At least, I think so. Not all of that came out in the chapter, but it was fun to explore for me.
TithenFeredir
· 8 March 2005
· Chapter 23: Twisting Vision
Wow. It was good the way Haldir came to his senses. The bit about Orophin trembling like a human was a neat way to convey the extremity of his distress. I really like the way you are handling Thranduil. He is wise enough to set aside his prejudices in light of new information and has the self-control to be patient when the circumstances demand it in spite of his urgency to rescue Legolas. The stuff about Legolas and Merry was hard to read. Surely Merry is under the influence of another mind. Surely he didn't REALLY stab Legolas! Say it ain't so! TF
Author's reply
Thranduil has been very much a work in progress throughout the fic, but at this point, he's starting to come into his own. The funny thing is, though, that there's really not a significant difference between Thranduil here and Thranduil earlier. He's a bit more patient now that time has passed and the initial shock has worn off, but by and large, he's still the same Thranduil. It's everyone else who's starting to lose it, which I was hoping would show just how composed and calm Thranduil could be. (He lets it all loose in Chapter 30, but that's later.) As for Legolas and Merry, that section was hard to write, but I think it turned out in the end. Thanks for the comments!
TithenFeredir
· 5 March 2005
· Chapter 22: Comings and Goings
Hmmm, a lot happening in this chapter. I felt for Elrohir and the stirring memories of Celebrian. And poor Haldir...he has surely gone looking for Orophin. Loved the comments about personal hygiene between Aragorn and Elrohir. The tension is really getting thick. Good chapter! TF
Author's reply
Many thanks! I tried to lighten the tone a bit with some of the dialogue between Aragorn and Elrohir, but I didn't want to lighten it too much because the tension is what should be driving the story at this point. Who knows if it actually worked... :)
TithenFeredir
· 20 February 2005
· Chapter 21: Methods of Madness
The grief of Orophin and Haldir was heartbraking.I fear for Orophin, now that he is separated from the group and so distracted.It was encouraging that Thranduil had the objectivity to see Gimli's heroism in helping Rumil. Maybe this is the beginning of a grudging respect? The ordeal of Legolas and Merry was really horrifying. How will they ever recover? TF
Author's reply
Grudging respect is definitely growing, and it will play a role later on, too. At least, that's the plan. Thranduil is getting many eye-openers this trip, but the biggest are yet to come.
TithenFeredir
· 20 February 2005
· Chapter 19: Lifting the Veil
Ooooo, a lot happens in this chapter. Nice death scene for Rumil. BTW your tale is distracting me from a hellatious case of the flu. Hannon le! TF
Author's reply
You're very welcome! Glad I could help out, and glad you liked the death scene. I'm impressed you recognized it as a death scene, too. Lots of people were certain that Rumil wasn't really dead and that he'd be making an appearance in future chapters.
TithenFeredir
· 20 February 2005
· Chapter 16: Midnight Musings
The interlude with Sam and Rosie, Gimli and Elanor was a good break from the tension. It was also nice to see Thranduil show a little sensitivity. TF
Author's reply
The interlude was somewhat unnecessary, but I needed to give the characters and the tension a break. I also needed to give myself a break, because when I wrote that chapter, I was into some very tense moments in my other stories and the cumulative tension was draining. So my solution was to write this interlude. Like I said, unnecessary for the story, but definitely necessary for the author.
TithenFeredir
· 20 February 2005
· Chapter 11: Veils of Darkness
The second half of the chapter just about blots out the first. Oh boy, are Legolas and Merry in trouble... TF
Author's reply
That was my big debut into the world of LotR torture, and I'm still uneasy about it. I tend to veer away from the big torture fics because they seem to devolve into an angst fest. I tried to stay away from that here, but it's such an easy road to travel!
TithenFeredir
· 20 February 2005
· Chapter 10: The Ties that Separate
More ominous implications about the leader of the orcs. It appears that Legolas knows who he is. Gotta read on...TF
Author's reply
Most people had figured out who he was at this point. Well, quite a few had figured out who the leader was after the first chapter. But I still had enough people in the dark that I decided to keep his identity a secret for one more chapter. A bit petty and melodramatic, perhaps, but it kept me entertained.
TithenFeredir
· 20 February 2005
· Chapter 9: Scattered Paths
The plot thickens. It was a very clever device to have the orcs split up and wander about. Where did you learn this stuff? Things keep betting more and more ominous...TF
Author's reply
Various military works I've read over the years. Confusion/misinformation is one of the most simple and also one of the most effective tools you can use against enemy troops, and it made sense for the orcs to use it here.
TithenFeredir
· 20 February 2005
· Chapter 8: The Return
It was sort of a nice break to get Rosie's and Arwen's distinctly different viewpoints. You did a good job of maintaining the subdued grief and sense of urgency over the loss of Legolas and Merry. It felt very real. Thranduil is still being a jerk, but I still feel sympathy for him. He has no one with whom he can find comfort. TF
Author's reply
One of the hardest parts about writing this story was Arwen. She's a tricky character and I've tried to find a balance within her personality. I think the end result has come off as rather bland, but I suppose that's better than having her too over-the-top. Anyway, I'm definitely grateful that you though Arwen and Rosie sounded different. That was something else I kept struggling with.
TithenFeredir
· 20 February 2005
· Chapter 7: Sundered by Shadow
I've just covered the last two chapters. This is powerful stuff. The battle was heartbreaking in a way, as Legolas was obviously sacrificing himself and Gimli willingly joined him. Foolish hobbits indeed, though it was very like them to return that way. Gimli's grief at the end seemed very appropriate, as did his summoning back his composure to answer the questions. I think Thranduil is showing more restraint than I would if it was my son taken by orcs, but I can see that he has to be restrained in order for the rescue to be put in order. Gotta go on and see what's next! TF
Author's reply
Thranduil was very much a work-in-progress for many of the early chapters, but the ability to restrain himself when necessary was something I had in mind from the very beginning and I think it's carried through most of the story. He's an elf of strong feelings and strong ideas, but he's wise enough to hold back until he has a handle on what others think or feel. At least, most of the time.
TithenFeredir
· 20 February 2005
· Chapter 7: Sundered by Shadow
TithenFeredir
· 20 February 2005
· Chapter 5: Ambush
Much excitement with the muster in Rivendell and the ambush on the road.I will be rushing ahead to see what happens. Favorite part: the discussion of Gimli's beard and Legolas leaning on a confused Arod for support. :-D TF
Author's reply
I had great fun with Gimli's beard. More than I anticipated, actually, and the idea of "the bush" became a running gag for a while. I enjoyed it, at least, which is half the battle. Glad you liked it, too!
TithenFeredir
· 8 February 2005
· Chapter 4: Evil in the Wood
Hmmm,more building tension. The hobbits were very hobbity. Most of this chapter was easy to visualize with your descriptions. I see now, Tranduil's fatherly concern comes off as being judgemental and unreasonable, a common parental problem. It will be interesting to find out the source of his hatred for the dwarves. I like the way he and Celeborn were interrupted by the horns: again, it was quite easy to see that scene. Worried about everybody outside the valley, now. On to the next. TF
Author's reply
Well, I think the first source of hatred for the dwarves would probably be their murder of Thingol in the First Age, but aside from that, Thranduil has other, more personal, reasons for disliking them, as will be seen later. Glad the scene was clear for you!
Lyn
· 7 February 2005
· Chapter 23: Twisting Vision
Grrrrr...I just spent several long minutes writing a review only to have some
hidden "shortcut" (Microsoft's evil hidden codes) complete eradicate all the words.
Wanted to further praise your complex but well meshed plots, especially the
logical battle plans. Each character is unique and whole...they think and act in a certain way which is logical and satisfying.
bear - this word can be a noun (a large carnivorous mammal)
or a verb...to bear a burden, to hold on to, to endure....
bare - this only has one meaning...uncovered.
a bare table has no table cloth. a soul bared is open to view, where
one's innermost feelings and thoughts are easily detected by others
the ring of Uruks protect him
should be the ring of Uruks protects him
because "ring" is the subject and is singular, so "ring protects"
whereas "of Uruks" only modifies the noun "ring"
even though the word "Uruks" (which is plural, more than one) is
physically closer to the verb "protect"
Dropping modifying words (or modifying phrases) helps determine the
proper form of the following verb.
Outstanding story telling....I've enjoyed your other stories, and although
they are easy to read and understand they are impossible to read quickly,
which is a good thing really.
I hope real life treats you well and allows you to continue to write.
adn_heming
· 5 February 2005
· Chapter 30: The Roads less Traveled By
Eiyo, Thundera! :)
A bit late with the review but, I hope, not too late.
Just...wow. The long-awaited rescue was not what I expected and well worth the wait. Yes, we knew it'd be tough road ahead for Legolas and Merry, even after the rescue. But for Thranduil to have finally avenged his son and then to find out this may not have been the best thing for him after all...*shivers* And to think that Thranduil already sensed that something was horribly, deperately *wrong.*
This has always been a mark of your writing, but it's *brilliant* how you describe tactics, hand to hand combat, how you marry the *style* of combat with the personality of the character you write. And yes, this is long winded way of saying how much I loved Thranduil's fight with the Mouth of Sauron. =)
Author's reply
Nope, not late at all!
Many thanks for the comments on tactics. That's the part that gave me the most trouble in this chapter, and I'm still not entirely satisfied. But I've been working on it so much that I've become too close to it and can't see exactly what could be improved anymore. So I'm very relieved to hear that others think it works. Yay! Cheers for Thranduil! He's a fun elf to write.
TithenFeredir
· 5 February 2005
· Chapter 3: Morning in Imladris
Well, I have torn through two chapters at a sitting. There is a lot going on here. I'm not a big fan of MeanNasty Thranduil, but the confronation works well in this story. You are setting up something, I think! I like it that Gimli serves as a calming influence. On to the next... TF
Author's reply
Have patience with Thranduil. We haven't explored his side of the story yet. He's coming off as gruff and impossible, but he's hiding quite a few of his fears and misgivings behind his anger. I understand your objections, though. I think I could have toned him down a bit.
meckinock
· 5 February 2005
· Chapter 30: The Roads less Traveled By
This was a great chapter overall, but what really blew me out of my seat was Thranduil - he was incredible in his relentless, purposeful determination and his ageless mastery of the art of war. Some touches I loved: his fondness for the sword; especially in fulfilling his desire to be "personal and direct." I loved his dispassionate assessment of the field of battle and his "sifting" of the chaos of battle, and then the power and speed of his movements once he decided to act. Breathtaking action and lovely imagery. I was cheering when he abandoned his fruitless search for Elrohir and focused his sights on Aragorn instead. And what a brilliant pair (in the conventional, not fan fic sense) those two are! Opportunities to see Thranduil and Aragorn side-by-side in battle are certainly rare, and I was thrilled by the unexpected combination. Wonderful chapter; I'm so glad you updated.
Author's reply
Yay Thranduil! I had great fun with him this chapter, though at times I wondered if I'd gone a little overboard. He does have the bulk of the chapter to himself. Even Aragorn is somewhat of a limited presence, though I tried to give him something of a personality. Anyway, I'm very glad you enjoyed Thranduil's big break, as it were. He's been begging me to let him loose for much of the story, so I figured this was a good chance to do so.
Estel_Mi_Olor
· 5 February 2005
· Chapter 30: The Roads less Traveled By
*Stares wide eyed at computer screen* "Wow". ... ... I am completely flabbergasted. I didn't think Thranduil would actually find him and kill him. Well done! His death seems rather...inevitable but also damaging. That's rather annoying. Sorry for the defense...
Ok I will stop babbling now. Excellent job! The attack was very well done! You clearly related positions and tactics-which usually seem very confusing to me. I especially liked Thranduil's plan, and Aragorn's involvement.
I suspected from the beginning that despite any rescue, Legolas and Merry would not be alright. Especially if any cure died with the Mouth of Sauron. I have faith in Celeborn though. But Oh! Poor Celeborn Contingent! They aren't going to find anybody! That's rather worrisome...
As you can tell, I am still dumbfounded by the turbulent events in this chapter, and you magnificent story telling technique-and am therefore not coherent. I hope you update soon! Thanks again!
Author's reply
Glad the action was easy to follow. I wonder if I went a little overboard with the descriptions, but at least too many people weren't confused. I'll count that as success. As for Ted's death being inevitable...you're not wrong. He had some plans of his own in the works, and there was a reason he opened himself up to the possibility of death. Which we'll get to later. Many thanks for the review!
Marnie
· 4 February 2005
· Chapter 30: The Roads less Traveled By
Oh no! Gah! I thought the rescue would be a case for general rejoicing, and instead it looks like a big mistake. I really don't like the sound of this black ooze around them, or the fact that no one can see what they're doing, or the MoS's moment of triumph (that's the worst of all.)
I'm so glad that you don't go down the road of Aragorn being an honourless murderer of heralds (however evil). Your Aragorn is much more recognisable as Aragorn than PJs ever was.
I know other people have said this, but your battle scenes really are spectacular! You capture not only the intimate details but also the overall scale and scheming. I am glad that Thranduil got to avenge his son, even if it turned out to be a big mistake. But I'm biting my nails and bewailing the fact that there's been a rescue and yet nothing is looking any better! Aargh! Have pity on a poor reader's nerves (not to mention that I'm worried about where Celeborn might be) and update again soon! :)
Author's reply
Oh hey there! I just sent you off an email, actually. And then I wandered back to my inbox and found the review. Very cool. I feel as though we're reaching across the bounds of cyberspace, connecting through binary code and...yeah. I'll shut up now.
Aragorn's herald murder...ARGH! I'll save the ranting for the LJ, but that...really got to me. Don't worry too much about Celeborn. He's fine. In a relative sense. His group is actually better off than most of the gang is. Or will be. Huge thanks on the battle scene. It's what held this chapter back, and it's something I'm still nervous about. So your comments mean a lot!
TithenFeredir
· 4 February 2005
· Chapter 1: A Remnant of Shadow
What a neat, ominous beginning. It seems plausible that orcs might be drawn to the Misty Mountains as Gollum was, and that they would be just an impotent, malicious presence there until someone came along to dominate and lead them. Then you give them this mysterious fellow:
"...this man whose talent for cruelty and torture was legend among the slaves of Barad-dur. His black eyes sparkled with brutal intent, and wholesome things seemed to wilt in his presence."
It's creepy the way you descibe what he is with care but don't really say who he is.
Then the way you have the elves feeling something in the mountains but not actually seeing the shadows stirring at the edge of its forests is very ominous. I'm hooked. Don't know why I never started this tale before. TF
Author's reply
Glad you liked it. It's been so long since I wrote it that I'm not sure I'd handle it the same way if I wrote it now, but there are some neat parts in it. The whole idea behind refusing to reveal this guy's identity added enough mystery to make it a bit unnerving. At least, that was my intention, and it seems to have worked well enough. Hope you enjoy the rest!