Tari
· 10 August 2007
· Chapter 6: Shadows from the East
I do love a good cliffhanger and this definetly qualifies. If my memory is correct, which is highly debatable, I think the dark men are after Legolas.
I can't wait to see what happens next. This is such a wonderful tale. I am a Legolas fan also. In fact, he is my favorite.
Tari
Author's reply
I can't remember if you said you'd read this story before, Tiari, but if you have, then you would know the answer to the question of whether the dark men are after Legolas. :-) If you've progressed to other chapters, you'd know by now. Hope you're still enjoying it. Thanks for the review.
Legolass
Hey there.
I apologize that this took so long. You have such a way with words, I adore reading your work. The idea of the pool is a great one, a place for just Aragorn and Legolas.
You know I also like the way you write elf's, it really give me a new appriciation for them.
Author's reply
Hi Tiari - take your time reading; the story isn't going anywhere, and I'd rather you enjoy it than rush through it - though, when you reach the later chaps, you might find it hard to stop, lol.
Thank you for your review, and I look forward to hearing from you again.
Legolass
Tiari Clovis
· 1 July 2007
· Chapter 1: A Matter of Trust
Hey there Legolass,I finally got to reading this one again. I think this chapter really set up the story nicely! I like the great portrayal of the guilt and shame on Legolas'part.
I don't know if you'll revise this at this point but I did notice when you were talking about Frodo and Bilbo you wrote hobbit instead of Hobbits. Perhaps I'll just tell you what I liked.
Author's reply
Hi Tiari! I really appreciate that you are making the effort to leave reviews for this story.
Oh yes, I do go back and revise chapters for mistakes when I become aware of them or when they are pointed out to me, and if they're glaring enough, so it's okay for you to tell me about them - thank you. Re the use of "hobbit" that you mentioned, however, it actually wasn't a mistake. :-) I did use "hobbit" for Bilbo alone, followed by (another hobbit) Frodo, the two items being separated by a comma - hence it was the hobbit Bilbo, (the hobbit) Frodo (except I did not use the term hobbit here), and the hobbit Sam. Without the comma, the plural would have been necessary because Bilbo and Frodo would have been lumped together. Sorry for this boring discussion on grammar! But I DO see how it can be confusing for an observant reader like yourself, and I don't mind that you raised the point - it makes me look over what I wrote.
I look forward to hearing from you again, Tiari, and I hope the story appeals to you. Legolas' guilt and shame will have still a part to play before this tale is over.
Legolass
Elendil - Dunadan-von-Numenor
· 26 September 2006
· Chapter 1: A Matter of Trust
Mae govannen,
this story is my favourite story and always will be so and I will take it with me all the time in my life. Thank you again, Legolass, for writing it.
It was in Winter last year, when one of my three sons was very ill, while I was reading this story once again. He wanted to know about all the paper around me and I started to tell to him the story... in GERMAN.
(The Kids and I still doing this with all the other stories on evenings before bedtime.)
Then, when he was better, I - at some reason, began writing it down. I´m still busy at it, because there is much work to do. I´m at chapter 18 now. If tere is somebody who wants to read this great story in my language, in GERMAN, can do it there - I will update to chapter 18 soon:
http://fam-koemmelt.homepage.t-online.de/Rollenspiel_RTK/besonderes/ausliebezumherrndesweissenbaumes.htm
Thank you Legolass
I never will forget that
~In the end the Shadow is only a small and passing thing: there is light and high beauty for ever beyond its reach - J.R.R. Tolkien.~
Namarie
Dreamflower
· 29 August 2006
· Chapter 9999: Epilogue: A Bond for All Time
I came across this story on the MEFAs, and I want you to know I've spent all the day reading it from start to finish. That's not necessarily true of every story I start. This was an excellent story--it kept me hitting the "next" button, even when I had some other things I needed to be doing.
I rarely read stories without hobbits, but I'm using the MEFAs to expand my horizons a bit, and I am impressed with this tale. (My ambition is to R&R every story.) I was even more impressed as I gathered from various review/replies that this was your *first* fic!
Not only was this well constructed, with a very good plot and some very well depicted OCs--especially your villian, but you managed to stay true to canon as well. The dialogue also was very true to the style of the books: high and dignified. I did occasionally find it a bit angstier than my usual taste, but not enough so to turn me off.
I'd like to say one thing: I noticed that one reviewer criticized you for using multiple POVs. I have to disagree with that assessment: POV, like person or tense, is a stylistic choice, not a flaw. JRRT himself used multiple POVs, for goodness' sake. So do I. So do a good many excellent writers. As long as the author doesn't change in the middle of a paragraph I don't see the problem.
Anyway, just thought I'd say.
Author's reply
Hello, Dreamflower,
Thank you so much for this complimentary and encouraging review. Yes, this was my first fic (my first LOTR fic, and the first I 'published' anywhere). Because I love Tolkien's works so much, and because "For the Love..." was my first fic, it was special to me and I worked passionately on it, and I'm always touched whenever a reader writes in to tell me it reached them in some way.
I'm amused that you came across this at the MEFA site, for it has received all of one precious review there, hahaha! But what has meant most are the messages from individual readers, such as one who is translating in into German to read to her children, and another who is reading it chapter by chapter to a friend undergoing treatment for cancer - and this from you, who're making the effort to write to me a year after the story has ended. These, to me, are the true 'votes' that I cherish.
Yes, I do try to stick to canon because it's both challenging and fulfilling to spin new tales around a work we already honor and love, and because I respect Tolkien's characters. If you have time and the inclination, I invite you to read other stories I have written, and am writing, since this first one, which I try to base on canon, and in which Hamille has become well-known among the regular readers - it pleases me no end, I must say. :-)
Finally, re the criticism about using multiple POVs, THANK YOU for your support. The reviewer is a wonderful writer, so I respect her comment, but I do think (and I said so in my response) the use of multiple POVs is sometimes necessary to achieve a certain effect, so it needs to be refined not abandoned. I'm so glad you agree.
In appreciation,
Legolass
Idril Celebrindal
· 10 June 2006
· Chapter 9999: Epilogue: A Bond for All Time
Legolass:
I am new to the site and that means I am WAY behind and I am so excited! I chose your story as the first to read and I CAN'T WAIT to read more of your writings. I hope that this doesn't put any pressure on you :-).
I felt the love, pride,anguish ALL the emotions that this story conveyed and I couldn't wait to read the next chapter each day.
Sorry to you and all the other writers( for I am not one)for my tardiness to this site. I see that I will have a WONDERFUL time in Middle-Earth with all of the writers doing such a loving and capable job of making me fall in love with Tolkien's characters all over again!
Thank YOU!
Author's reply
Idril, I am honored that you chose my story to read first, and it warms me to know that the tale managed to endear the characters to you. :-)
I am now writing "In Shadow Realm" and will post Chap 21 soon. I'd be delighted to have you join me and our beloved characters on this new journey - and what a journey it is turning out to be!
Hope to see you there, and thank you for your lovely review.
Legolass
Nightwing
· 10 February 2006
· Chapter 9999: Epilogue: A Bond for All Time
And here we are at the end of all things. Oh, how final partings hurt. It takes a hell of a lot of bravery to love someone, and these two were the bravest.
You touched on so many powerful themes of love and friendship, generosity and sacrifice, and really did a superb job of wresting all possible emotion and imagery from them.
It was a lovely story. Thank you.
Author's reply
"It was a lovely story. Thank you."
And thank you for having been one of those who inspired it. I think I began writing this some time after Legolas brought Aragorn 'home' after the man almost died in the cold.
Yes those two are/were the bravest, and we love them. I shall continue to keep them alive through stories for as long as I can, as I'm sure you will.
My deep appreciation to you once again.
Legolass
Nightwing
· 10 February 2006
· Chapter 41: The Elf and the Ranger
Awww, very sweet and heartfelt. You have done a marvelous job of conveying the deep love between the elf and the ranger. And the imagery of the beautiful glade and pool was gorgeous.
Author's reply
Thank you again. I wish I had such a glade and pool to escape to.
Nightwing
· 10 February 2006
· Chapter 40: Greenleaf
I was deterred for a time, but not permanently! I have returned and will finish this story forthwith!
"Their long hair flew like silken threads spun by the fingers of the wind." Very nice, wish I'd thought of it.
Author's reply
Hi, Nightwing, I've been out of town for a few days myself and am catching up with email. Thanks very much for reading this to the end.
I think I shall have to rewrite this chapter a little at some point because of some factual discrepancies regarding the ship's location on the water that I came to realise only after I finished the story - I think you might have noticed them because your attention to logistical accuracy in To See A World is something I have long admired. I had to laugh at myself! *grin* But I need to focus on my ongoing tale before I make any rectifications. Been much pressed for time but I can never leave my beloved LOTR. :-)
Hope all is well with you and your child.
Nightwing
· 15 January 2006
· Chapter 39: Strongbow
Wow, I really liked the comparison of the friendship between Aragorn and Legolas to that of Turin and Beleg. I'd never made any sort of connection like that before, but I like it! That story always made me sad though. The most tragic tale in the Silmarillion for me.
The last few chapters had some very nice insights into the relationship between men and elves, and the love that can occur between members of the two races. The conversation between Arwen and Faramir was lovely.
Almost to the end, but that shall have to wait for another day. It's time for bed!
Author's reply
Yes, the tale of Turin and Beleg has haunted me since I first read it. It is indeed the most tragic tale in the Silmarillion for me too (followed by that huge Battle in which so many men and elves and dwarves perished because of the treachery of some Men; the name of the battle escapes me now, but it had soemthing to do with blood and/or tears), but the one of the two friends remains my favourite. I mention this elf-man friendship theme of which Tolkien seems fond in the short story Once Upon a Strongbow. Well, if you have time later... :-)
Thank you for the feedback.
Nightwing
· 13 January 2006
· Chapter 32: Endings and Beginnings
I liked the theme of music used as a metaphor for the stages of the fight between Legolas and his captor.
There is more? Hmmm, the captivity is ended, and the baddie is dead. What more?
I wonder if the carving of this symbol into Legolas' chest is something of more significance than simply marking the target to strike. Some kind of spell or curse? Or perhaps the poison will linger and make trouble for the recovering elf.
I guess I'll have to read on to find out!
Author's reply
Yes... there is a bit more. You're reading a lot faster than I thought you would! :-)
Nightwing
· 12 January 2006
· Chapter 24: Flight of Shadows
Gorgeous and heartfelt writing.
Author's reply
Thank you - this is one of my favourite chapters. :-)
Nightwing
· 12 January 2006
· Chapter 19: The Reality of a Nightmare
This was a very well done fight scene, with both vivid emotion and movement. Bravo! Great tension leading up to the moment as well.
This was an excellent phrase: "shoved the elf's fear down the paths of his memory".
Author's reply
Thank you, Nightwing. I recall the pleasure and passion I experienced writing particular chapters, including this one.
But the fight scene near matches the one you wrote a few chapters back in To See A World. That was 'kick-ass'ily good!
Nightwing
· 8 January 2006
· Chapter 16: Revelation
Well, here I am at last. Have read up to chapter sixteen thus far.
This is an enjoyable story. I'm pleased that you let it develop at its own pace. No rushing through descriptions and other necessities. Your dialog is good, properly Middle-earthish, and fits well with the scenes.
I'll deliver my one criticism, though perhaps this is one that you have caught onto at this point and corrected in your later writings. Please do not be offended. I was guilty of the same error. It is a common one of new authors, and it was the talented LOTR writer Ithilien who was good enough to point it out to me when I was doing it.
At times you abruptly shift points of view. In particular this happens in chapter 14. In the scene in which the prisoner is brought to the king, you jump very quickly from the thoughts and observations of Aragorn to those of the prisoner, and then to Arwen's, and then back to the prisoner.
Unless one is very skilled and can convey the voice of the all-seeing omniscient narrator with ease (and that would not be me), it is best to stick to the thoughts and observations of just one character at a time, and change to those of another with a new section or chapter. Otherwise things are too jumpy and disjointed, the transitions rough. You can find references to this on the net. Just type in "shifting POV" and some helpful writing advice comes up.
I do like the twist at the end of of this chapter. So the "son of the king" the baddies were trying to grab was Legolas, eh? And, dear me, our good elf seems about to deliver himself right into their hands. Goody! More juiciness to come.
Author's reply
Hi Nightwing, thanks for reading and reviewing.
Ithilien did voice this comment about shifting POVs at one time (when the story was almost over), and she mentioned that she had pointed it out to you. I was also already aware of the role of the omniscient narrator, and how a story may be first-person or a limited third-person as well.
I have welcomed many constructive comments (this being one of them), and though I have rushed to rewrite something in response to some of them (only while the story was progressing!), I will be honest about this one, okay, and hope you take it as a discussion? :–)
While it is possible to present different POVs – or different scenes – in different chapters, I didn't want the chapters to be too short. I've read published stories where several POVs are presented in the same chapter, and where these sections are marked off only double spaces, with no verbal transitional / discourse markers other than those graphical dividers. And – in my very humble opinion – it works. Since we can't create similar double spaces on fanfic sites, I used lines (which I didn’t quite like) or other such 'markers' in the stories.
Sometimes, it was even important for all these shifting POVs to be presented together very quickly following a split-screen technique in my story – such as in Chapter 19 – so I stuck to it (anyway, this was way before Ithilien raised the point).
Now, of course it doesn’t mean that I have used shifting POVs as effectively (not even close) to accomplished authors, oh no no no no! But my point is: the use of it is not an “error” as you suggested. :–) I feel it need not be corrected or abandoned; it just has to be refined.
And yes, I do agree that one can do a good job with it only if one is skilled enough, but skill comes with practice, with use.
So I am grateful to you and Ithilien for raising your comment because it alerts me to something to be improved on. Not that I have *eeeeep* - and not till I retire and have time to sit down and really, really dissect what I write, lol! If that time comes, I may just contact you and beg you to be my sounding board. :–)
Thanks again, Nightwing. I look forward to hearing more from you - here or in your own story.
BTW - I tried out something... umm... 'different'... in my short 7-chapter story "Once Upon a Strongbow." Well, if you have time after this one... ;-)
pipinheart
· 9 September 2005
· Chapter 9999: Epilogue: A Bond for All Time
A true friendship never dies... A great journey indeed... Can't wait to hear more from you... Great writting...
Author's reply
And thank you for sharing it with me, Pipinheart. You must have read it all at almost one go - and I deeply appreciate all the reviews you wrote.
Thank you.
pipinheart
· 9 September 2005
· Chapter 41: The Elf and the Ranger
zyou can feel the emotion coming out of this chapter... Ah, how it warmed my heart...The friendship of the two will always be there...
Author's reply
To know that it warmed your heart, Pipinheart, warms mine.
Thank you for letting me know.
pipinheart
· 9 September 2005
· Chapter 39: Strongbow
This was a very emotional piece... Aragorn fears Legolas will sail. I liked the story of the two friends...nice work
Author's reply
If you liked the story of the two friends, you might want to read my other story Once Upon a Strongbow, as well as the actual tale of Beleg and Turin in The Silmarillion.
It's heartwarming to know that it touches you too. Thank you.
pipinheart
· 9 September 2005
· Chapter 35: The Heart of the Elf
H, will he leave... Aragorn's heart is broken on him considering going west...
Author's reply
Aragorn will find out before the end, and so will you. :-)
pipinheart
· 9 September 2005
· Chapter 34: Shadow of Pain
Oh, nO... Something is wrong with legolas and aragorn ssuspects it is something that Effected Frodo.... Poor Legolas...
Author's reply
This is where the suspense starts all over again for Aragorn...
Anonymous
· 9 September 2005
· Chapter 32: Endings and Beginnings
I liked Narum He is a decent leader, and helped Legolas as much as he could... The fought and concured but wonder is the enemy really dead... He was washed away with the river... U never know
Author's reply
You're right... you never know... ;-)
Anonymous
· 9 September 2005
· Chapter 28: Defeat in Victory
Sarambaq Is a piece of work, and hope he gets what he deserves....
Author's reply
You will see what he gets when you get to the end... Thanks for the review.
pipinheart
· 9 September 2005
· Chapter 27: The Challenge
The fear Legolas must feel as he knows Aragorn life is in his hands. It hold the emotion of how much thier friendship means...
Author's reply
Oh, my! Horror of horrors! I only JUST saw that I had not responded to this review that was posted in 2005!!! I ALWAYS reply to reviews and don't know how I missed this one for 16 years. I can only apologise profusely and thank you for reviewing. Thank you for having responded to how Legolas must have felt in this chapter - about as horrified as I feel right now.
pipinheart
· 8 September 2005
· Chapter 25: Onset of a Storm
Legolas is still weak, but he has no trouble speaking what he believes... Though I was afraid he'd get himself killed doing that...
Author's reply
Saramabaq certainly found out that he cannot quell the spirit of en elf prince that easily. :-)
pipinheart
· 8 September 2005
· Chapter 24: Flight of Shadows
Ah, you can feel the love and friendship that they have for one another, and words that should have always been know wasn't until they were in peril...
Love it...
Author's reply
Thank you - this chap is one of my favourites, and that of many other readers :-). THis is where everything gets said and laid bare. Glad you like it too.
pipinheart
· 8 September 2005
· Chapter 19: The Reality of a Nightmare
I loved this fighting scene with legolas... How he fought, and tried with all he had, and his horse was killed...
This is good, and keeps me wanting more...Great job...