Reviews (144)

Lianna · 10 September 2004 · Chapter 28: Close Encounters

Oh, you are mean, Mean, MEAN!!! Two cliffhangers in a row? And you've already almost drowned Legolas once in this story. Come to think of it, you almost drowned Elrohir too a while back. If these two survive this one, they may never go in the water again. Not even to take a bath.

Dot · 10 September 2004 · Chapter 28: Close Encounters

LOL! You are so MEAN! There I was, delighted with such a quick update and you go and have the force of the Bruinen about to descend upon poor Legolas… My heart went out to Elladan. I could completely feel his anxiety and his guilt at the words he’d spoken earlier. “He had not lied, and never would, not even for Elrohir.” Ah, very nice choice of phrasing in the end! It shows, actually, how honourable he is that he wouldn’t even lie for his brother. Plus, I guess he must realise to a certain extent that lying could only make things worse for Elrohir and Legolas as well as himself. I don’t blame him for half hoping that they’d be caught. I thought Elladan seemed really troubled by the change in his relationship with his brother. I was going to say that he shouldn’t blame Elrohir but it even seemed in the last chapter that Elrohir is the one who finds himself pulling away. The search for individuality must indeed be hard but in some ways it must be even more difficult for the one who *isn’t* seeking it. I think Celebrian’s suggestion of talking to their father is a good one. The entire scene with Elrohir and Legolas was just so nerve-wracking. Just the thought of the troll prodding Elrohir and then actually putting his hand around Legolas… And it turns out that it was just a baby! “A much larger troll, surely a parent, was leading it across the dell by the hand.” That is quite possibly the most adorable image I have ever come across! “My bow. It broke my bow! How am I going to explain that?” Thranduil and Legolas were going to give them new bows, right? Have I got the right story?! Of course, whether or not they’ll be seen as deserving now is another story… He’s not really naïve enough to think no one will notice if he takes one from the armoury, is he?? Erestor is right, “Elflings!” “Looking up, Legolas saw a wall of water looming out of the darkness and bearing down on him: two, five, ten feet high, increasing in speed and ferocity as it neared him.” Oh. My. God. I feel so bad now for laughing at him being so suspicious of the river. Why did it react to him? Or are there trolls about? How’s he going to escape this?? I’m all tense now…;-)

Bodkin · 10 September 2004 · Chapter 28: Close Encounters

Now you've got me feeling sorry for Elladan! Growing up is such a painful process - I don't know why anybody says it's the best time of your life. And there is Celebrian, wanting to act as go-between to try to sort them out, but she doesn't stand a chance against all those hormones. Didn't Legolas listen when Elrohir told him that he would be all right in the water if he was with the Elrondion? Clearly the relief caused by escaping baby troll has affected his memory! They will never get away with this little escapade - they might as well confess at once, if they ever get back. Please don't leave Legolas facing the flood for too long - I can't stand the strain.

Karri · 10 September 2004 · Chapter 28: Close Encounters

Oh my! Our golden-haired elfling clearly needs to brush up on his offering to Ulmo, as the water Vala certainly seems to be against the young one in this story. ;-) The baby troll encounter was too adorable. Terrific chapter, Jay!

daw the minstrel · 10 September 2004 · Chapter 28: Close Encounters

Geez, Jay. I stopped trying to write to read this because I thought it would be easier and now you've put them in this cliff hanger! At least, the trolls didn't catch them. I suspect that the parents are not going to be so easily fooled as these two hope.

Anonymous · 8 September 2004 · Chapter 27: The Troll Hunt

PLEASE PLASE PLEASE UPDATE SOON! THE SUSPENSE IS KILLING ME!!!

Dot · 8 September 2004 · Chapter 27: The Troll Hunt

Oh great! I always liked this story, I’m so glad you went back to it. I’m looking forward to re-reading it actually when I get a chance to be sure I remember everything. Apparently teenage elves can be just as unreasonable as teenage humans. And stubborn. Poor Elrohir :-( He was being so logical and even managed not to react to a lot of the teasing but Finglor seems to have hit a sore spot by claiming he and Elladan were incapable of behaving as individuals. I guess Elladan’s slightly patronising reassurances didn’t help. So now Elrohir thinks he needs to prove himself… “So you had an argument, and you both said things you know you don’t mean. Does it matter? You know you’ll be friends again by nightfall.” I like the way Legolas comes across. He’s as understanding as he can be but while he’s probably had arguments with friends and been told the same thing by the adults in his life, he can’t know what it’s like to argue with a sibling, especially not with one so close as a twin and Elrohir was really hurting. At least it turned out that Legolas was more or less right, anyway. I loved the little moments of humour in the midst of the tension – Legolas being so apprehensive about the Bruinen and Elrohir growling to frighten his friend. And boy was it tense! That Elrohir would want to wash his mouth out with soap too. “Balrog’s balls”… LOL! Oh, and I really like the little details like the connecting room having been a playroom until recently and the arguments between the brothers being a new development – it really shows that they’ve only just begun to finally leave childhood behind and the search for individuality is a difficult step that they don’t quite know how to handle yet. Don’t leave us hanging for too long! Although, I’d nearly rather face a troll than be in Elladan’s position if the parents hear about this… Great chapter :-)

Bodkin · 8 September 2004 · Chapter 27: The Troll Hunt

Poor, poor Elrohir. Second born, more . . considered, less . . headstrong - he was bound to be teased by those who wouldn't want to risk Elladan's fist on their nose. And backing himself into the typical teenage corner of feeling he would look like a jessie if he changed his mind. What's more, they think they've taken sensible precautions by sending Legolas along. Apart from testosterone poisoning, what does go on in adolescent male brains. (Nothing is the obvious answer). If the trolls fail to cause sufficient damage to keep them in bed for a month, their parents will probably do it - after hugging them in relief first. Balrog's balls - a lovely exclamation. I shall consider adopting it into my vocabulary.

lwarren · 7 September 2004 · Chapter 27: The Troll Hunt

Bless you, Jay! You haven't forgotten this little story! :-) I was leaving school and got the notice...had to sit down immediately and read! The interaction between Elrohir and Elladan in this chapter is not often touched on, but it seems likely as they were growing up there would be friction about them being a pair. And Elrohir, being the less forceful (I guess) would catch it about never doing anything on his own. That had to irritate and infuriate him...it did here, to the point of making a rather rash decision. I'd say thank goodness Legolas is with him, but knowing those two, it probably means there will be double the trouble and double the owies!!!! *vbg* Great update...more soon...Balrog's balls, don't leave us hanging on the edge of this cliff! (hehehehehe...started to say something else...decided was rather inappropriate...restrained self *smirk*) linda

Quilde Quen · 7 September 2004 · Chapter 27: The Troll Hunt

O.O "Balrog's balls! We found a troll!" lol! hilarious! i'm glad Elrohir decided to let Legolas go with him or he would've been killed for sure! now how will they get out of this mess i wonder? guess i'll have t wait till next time, right?

Nilmandra · 7 September 2004 · Chapter 27: The Troll Hunt

I was just thinking how alike teenaged males are everywhere (they can all be baited....), but how fortunate that we know there is no way the departure of these two from Imladris went unnoticed. Silly elflings. Scary troll.

Elvenesse · 7 September 2004 · Chapter 27: The Troll Hunt

Addendum: I don't know if I've ever told you that I think Balrog’s balls! is a really good curse.

Elvenesse · 7 September 2004 · Chapter 27: The Troll Hunt

There I was, congratulating Elrohir on dealing with Finglor in a mature fashion, and then he goes and argues with his brother and does something he knows is stupid. I like Legolas coming after him, since Elladan couldn't and I'm sure elves can run faster than trolls... Is it just me, or do you like endangering/injuring Elrohir best?

daw the minstrel · 7 September 2004 · Chapter 27: The Troll Hunt

Oh my lord, if the troll doesn't kill these two, their parents will. I was struck by how nicely you advanced this chapter with dialogue and actions, Jay. It came alive. It was shown, not told. Really, really nicely done.

TARI TELEMNAR · 4 August 2004 · Chapter 3: A Midnight Excursion

OMG! that is SO MEAN! bad leggy! trying to set a trap for the twins by telling them about spyders(*get it? 'spyders'? ~lol~). mean but cute! verrrry cute! LOL

Quilde Quen · 5 June 2004 · Chapter 26: And The Winners Are ...

awesome story so far. someone on the MC list recommended it to me for the archery competition trick shots. i needed ideas for my story, The Death of Souls. and i got inspiration from ur trick shots. thz a bunch. i'm Zrik on the list in case u were wondering. i hope u update soon. i can't wait for more. bye!

LKK · 4 May 2004 · Chapter 26: And The Winners Are ...

Ah, so *that's* why he was so ashamed. Thranduil was right. The thought was a natural and momentary response to the enormous pressure. Had Legolas continued to think along those lines, he would indeed have cause for shame. But to think such a thing for a moment but then dismiss it ... well, it's something we all need to learn about as we grow up. :) Good for Haldir for "hearing" Legolas ask for permission to leave the field. And kudos to Finglas for correcting himself. It was good to see that Legolas's run in with him earlier didn't have severe consequences. My favorite moment --- the little elleth with the bouquet of flowers, mostly made up of weeds, for Legolas. I can picture the scene clearly, and it's so cute to see!

Yuna_Dax · 3 May 2004 · Chapter 26: And The Winners Are ...

EEK! I can see why Legolas would have left the field, but alas it was nice to see Haldir and the like sticking up for him. Disqualification is a ugly but necessary thing in sport, disobey the rules and you're out, no matter how innocent or goodnatured the act. Poor Legolas!

lwarren · 3 May 2004 · Chapter 26: And The Winners Are ...

I knew it!! He is SUCH a Boy Scout! (Of course, I love Boy Scouts, :) especially of the Elven variety!) He definitely over-reacted, didn't he? Great chapter, especially the part with Legolas and Thranduil, and the little elleth's gift of flowers, mostly weeds (awwwwww), and I love the way Finglas changed his mind at the end when he saw Legolas give his medal to the little girl. Not a bad guy after all! Can not wait for the next addition (and I'm glad I didn't know earlier this was at ff.net, cos I can't get that site on this #!*@#* computer! *pout*) linda

Rose Sared · 3 May 2004 · Chapter 26: And The Winners Are ...

Isn't loyalty a wonderful thing - great chapter, nice interactions, but he's still an unsufferable prig at this age! Love him and your writing - as ever Rose

lwarren · 29 April 2004 · Chapter 25: The Archery Contest

I kept thinking towards the end of the archery contest,when Legolas reacted the way he did to missing his target, that it was because he was so competitive...however, that last sentence or two changed my mind. Legolas, the Protector is the way I often think of him...I wonder if he regretted losing just for a minute, because he IS competitive, and now hates himself for that? Great chapter - the competition was close enough to be very interesting, and really pushed Legolas to a new level. Well done, and thank you! linda

LKK · 29 April 2004 · Chapter 25: The Archery Contest

The story has finally reached the point where I switched from reading it on ff.net to reading it here. I'm *still* puzzled as to why Legolas is so ashamed of his shot. True, he didn't hit the target or catch the ball. Does he think that because his arm moved instinctively and not on his conscious will that it was somehow less of a triumph?? That's the only reason I can think of to explain his disappointment. I've waited a long time to find out the answer, so I hope it won't take you long to move the next chapter from ff.net to here. :) Oh, I did notice a small continuity error. In the paragraphs describing the novice archery tournament, you said at first that the contestants were narrowed down to one from Lasgalen and one from Imladris. But in the next paragraph, the second contestant is actually Rumil from Lorien. I don't know if anyone has pointed it out. If so, I apologize for harping on it. :) I'm looking forward to the next chapter, Jay. Legolas's shame has been puzzling me for some time!

Rose Sared · 29 April 2004 · Chapter 25: The Archery Contest

Awww - now what does he think he did? Poor old angst ridden Leggy. Hopefully his friends will be a comfort to him again. (Can't you hear some future girlfried telling him just how sick she is of his precious nobility?) So glad I don't have to be a teenager again. Wonderfully written and very suspensful Well done Rose

mistry89 · 26 April 2004 · Chapter 24: The Games

Great chapter! One of the delights of reading a long story (or a series, or a series of series!) is the references to preceding chapters/storylines - it anchors the chapter/story into the 'verse. This time it was: "“You remember!” Elladan paused then. “Oh – no, you don’t do you? Sorry, El!” Ha! Great stuff. I like Legolas's championship of the LLRs and hope it doesn't backfire on him - it's hard enough that he had to give up competing in other events, without him losing because of a bad-tempered, ill-natured, son-of-an-orc ... oops, is it ok to use language like that? Thanks again.

LKK · 26 April 2004 · Chapter 24: The Games

I hope you're sitting down, Jay, because otherwise, you might fall over laughing at me for what I'm going to say. I read this chapter long ago on ff.net. But today is the first day that I have understood the events. For some reason, I had it fixed in my head that the 3 team members had their legs tied together, like in a 3-legged race formation. I could never figure out how any of the race took place with their legs tied together. Don't ask me how I made such a silly mistake. It certainly wasn't anything that you wrote. But for the longest time, I thought you had taken leave of your literary senses with this chapter. Imagine me trying to figure out how Arwen could go under the log while the twins went over it if the 3 were tied together! I kept going cross-eyed trying to get it figured out in my head. Good grief! Ah well, I finally caught on today that 3 runners weren't tied together. The race makes so much more sense now! I hope you get a good laugh out of my confusion. I deserved it. :)