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| A Perilous Journey to Lorien by LadyJaina | 41 Review(s) |
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| Lindelea | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/11/2021 |
| Again, nice job of gap-filling and building on the foundation of the original text. (Am I going to say that with every chapter? Please bear with me if I am repetitive.) I would be beside myself with worry about Legolas if you hadn't said something in the introductory part about will not affect canon beyond Lothlórien. Some of my hobbits are a bit more familiar with arrows and archery than yours, I think. (I write my Tooks as archers, an echo of the hobbit archers who went off to fight for the King against Angmar. When I first started writing fanfic, I imagined 100 Tookish archers marching to the Battle of Bywater, and now I don't know if that was in the original or if I extrapolated it from Farmer Cotton talking about the Tooks hunting and shooting ruffians for prowling and stealing. I'll have to go back and look that up. Ironically, perhaps, I write Pippin as a terrible shot with a bow but having good aim when throwing stones.) I find myself wondering when the scene with the mithril shirt happens. "Here's a pretty hobbit-skin to wrap an elven-princeling in." Nice touch, Gimli wondering at Aragorn's fall-back language when he's stressed. Makes perfect sense, with him being raised in Elrond's house, I should think? I forgot to mention, when Legolas smirked, I imagined he was thinking of the irony of scavenging the orcs' fallen arrows and shooting their weapons back at them with deadlier effect. So it will be interesting to find out more about that smirk. I'm so glad you provide translations for those of us who aren't familiar with JRRT's languages. His inventions are amazing - but so many of the words just refuse to take up residence in my brain. | |
| Lindelea | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 3/10/2021 |
| Oh, a promising beginning! You've done a good job of melding book- and filmverse and fleshing out the story. Well done. I loved the little touches you added, like Frodo noticing the smirk on Legolas's face (What was that burst of Elvish, per chance?) and the infuriating grace and fluidity and the mild surprise, not to mention Frodo's concern for Aragorn and not for himself (yes, he's wearing a mithril coat, but I seem to recall a king of England who was killed by an arrow striking him in the eye). And this was beautiful: It took him a few moments to identify the little breezes as arrows flying perilously close to his head. Author Reply: Thank you so much for letting me know what you thought of Chapter One! It brought a smile to my face. As for what Aragorn said to Legolas, he is recalling an event--actually several events--from their past. I'll reveal what he said, soon, (for a second time, actually), but details behind his words are being saved for a prequal--if I can ever find time to write it. I confess I didn't consider that Frodo was in any danger--mostly because orcs are such terrible shots (except for the few tragic times they aren't) and I assumed they would aim for the torso...but now we're getting into the logic behind the writing and not the actual writing. Thank you again. I hope you enjoy the following chapters just as much! | |
| Kath | Reviewed Chapter: 9 on 3/7/2021 |
| Lithuania I am loving your work! I bingeread all 9 chapters yesterday because they were so good. I really like the part of The Fellowship of the Ring that you have decided to add your own twist to. Don't think I've read another story that concentrates on that particular section. Also, it's great that you are giving each character a share of the spotlight by writing different chapters from a different individual's point of view. I am a real fan of Aragorn and sometimes skip sections that don't focus on him, but not in this case! I am particularly enjoying the Legolas\ Gimli parts and loving the grudging respect and even stronger emotions that are developing between them. I am just glad that I know Legolas will survive, poor guy, you're really putting him through it! Your description of each character is really true to their essence in Tolkien's books,so glad you are keeping faith with the author. Now I hope for more of Strider and would love it if you would delve into his back story where he met and eventually won the heart of an even princess! Author Reply: Thank you so much! I also have to confess I usually skip over sections that don't focus on the main characters, and I thought I'd have trouble writing from multiple points of view. The irony is that I've actually found the scenes with Aragorn to be more difficult to right than Boromir's POV (he's my least favorite character). Don't worry, we will be returning to Strider, soon! | |
| sue | Reviewed Chapter: 9 on 3/5/2021 |
| I am totally engrossed! What comes next? more mORE MORE Author Reply: I'm so glad I've pulled you in! Next comes plenty of hurt/comfort, drama, and angst...hopefully I'll do it justice! Hope you enjoy! | |
| Nurayy | Reviewed Chapter: 8 on 2/27/2021 |
| I enjoyed it very much. These were an exciting two chapters. And I loved the Hobbits' perspective and your characterization of them. Very well done. Loved also to see the elves and the first glimpses you gave of them. Can't wait to get back to Legolas and Gimli and their rescue. Am quite worried for Legolas. Thank you for writing! Stay safe Author Reply: Thank you so much for all your feedback and kind words. I am slogging through the fifth(!) draft of Chapter Nine currently, trying to get it just right! | |
| Nurayy | Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 2/27/2021 |
| Love to see these two together and I'm very attentive about their interactions and conversations. I like to see how authors approach them. And I like your take on them, of their slowly building friendship. Your writing style is very pleasant and fluid to read. | |
| Nurayy | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 2/27/2021 |
| I like the way you show Legolas strong even in this state, determined and commanding them to go. And I forgot to tell you before that I very much liked how how Merry saw him, even his fighting style. I liked the action. And Boromir's POV, his musings about Aragorn and Faramir and that in the end he very much respects him. Author Reply: Thank you! Action is very hard for me to write, so this really stretched by abilities! | |
| Nurayy | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 2/27/2021 |
| Awww Aragorn/Legolas friendship... I love that! You show Aragorn's care and fear for the elf so well. Author Reply: They are probably one of my favorite friendships, though Gimli and Legolas are a really close second! | |
| Nurayy | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 2/27/2021 |
| I like how you are writing every chapter from a different POV. It is interesting to get to see their thoughts. Poor Legolas! I especially love to see Gimli's thoughts and reactions about Legolas. Touching a soft spot, a care, and a friendship I love so much slowly begin. You did so well also showing Gimli's grief for his kin, the people he knew and cared for, so much death and destruction. I also like how you wove in quotations of the book. Author Reply: Thank you! I couldn't decide on a favorite point of view...so I just had to do them all! | |
| Nurayy | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 2/27/2021 |
| This is a good start. I liked the POV from Frodo and you show the grief for Gandalf very well. Author Reply: Thank you so much! | |