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| Interrupted Journeys: Part 5 Journeys in Mirkwood by elliska | 69 Review(s) |
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| daw the minstrel | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 3/8/2009 |
| Going so far abroad that they were attacked by spiders was a whole new world of trouble, Galithil expected. Good guess, Galithil! It's interesting to see the guard "take Legolas seriously." I suppose when you're the king's only son and are starting to grow up, that happens. Or maybe Legolas has just learned a few tricks from his father. I like the way the kids are normally invited to sit in on important meetings. That reflects their world, rather than ours, where children are segregated off. Though of course, Galithil would say they're not "children" any more, and maybe that's true. They're at least old enough to hold their tongues about what they might hear. But Galithil seems to see Legolas's apology as a ploy for appeasing their angry parents, whereas I'll bet Legolas really means it. OTOH, even Legolas isn't averse to a little spying. Which is ok by me in some ways because it means we get to hear about a canon event in a novel way. To me, that's always one of the challenges of writing fanfic. How do you tell stuff the reader already knows in a way that adds value? In this case, we get the shocked reaction of the elves, which gives us a real sense of the horror. Knowing that an entire kingdom was destroyed must scare the bejeebers out of the elflings, and not only them. It's interesting to see the adults reacting in ways both predictable and unpredictable. "Do not shrug as if the difference between your uncle 'making' me do something and me doing it voluntarily is nothing, ion nin. I do not want your association with Dannenion and Dolwon to color your perception of the way Thranduil manages this kingdom." That's interesting. Galithil is probably more easily influenced that Legolas because he's impulsive. He has a good heart, though, despite his wily arguments to get what he wants. His father does a good job with that one: be honest with yourself about why you do things. We'll see how much of that Galithil took in. Author Reply: Good guess, Galithil! Hehehe! Yeah, I had fun with that line. They were lucky their parents are distracted by other things. They discuss that in the next chapter (assuming things get cut the way I'm currently planning). I had fun with Galithil's reaction to people taking Legolas seriously too. I think that's a function, as you say, of getting older as the King's oldest son. It is also a function of being someone that behaves (for a child) in a way that earns respect. Galithil doesn't quite see that. But Galithil seems to see Legolas's apology as a ploy for appeasing their angry parents, whereas I'll bet Legolas really means it. Bingo. :-) OTOH, even Legolas isn't averse to a little spying. Bingo again. I had fun with that. Legolas really values honesty, especially since he's seen what he sees as a lack of it in many of his cousin's actions. But he doesn't hesitate to spy. Galithil is going to have fun pointing that out to Legolas in the next chapter. And boy are you right about canon and building it into the story in an interesting way. Sometimes seeing it from the characters' POV makes for a whole great story on its own. In this case, I couldn't resist it because, in his heart, Thranduil must really have been disturbed by the fact that the Witch-King finally finished off Arnor. Especially given what he suspects is in his forest. Plus, belief that what fled from Angmar is now in the southern forest is the whole basis for the rest of the plot of this story, so... ;-) Galithil is probably more easily influenced that Legolas because he's impulsive. This is pretty central, actually, though it looks like just a bit of conversation now. Galithil will think about this conversation again later in life and remember his father saying that to him. You don't really see it, because I haven't published some of the later parts of the last story, but Galithil is never told specifically why Dannenion and Dolwon are in the capital like Legolas was--he knows they did something pretty wrong (and he knows they're idiots), but he has no idea how bad what they did was. And, as you said, the impulsive part of him is a bit drawn to Anastor and Noruil, so it is an influence he could fall into if he's not careful. We'll see how much of that Galithil took in. Not enough, of course. ;-) But he'll get it by the story's end. Thanks so much for the review! | |
| Dot | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 3/2/2009 |
| Sorry I’m late with this. I love how Berior seems particularly skilled in tracking – and that Legolas places unquestioning trust in his skills. The quietness of the forest was eerie so I was actually really glad when they reached the fire, despite not knowing whether it was made by friend or foe! It was very interesting watching the discussion as they tried to figure out what to do. And I like how Legolas steps in and just puts an end to it. He’s his Adar’s son ;-) So it’s Men. And oh my God, Galithil would have shot at them! Legolas is really great here, the way he keeps his head and forces Galithil to listen and decipher what’s happening. Of course, it forced me to do the same! And to be fair, Galithil did have a point that they didn’t know for sure they weren’t just trying to subdue her. I particularly like the way Legolas just accepts that he’s the one who should speak to the Men. Though Galithil’s well-placed arrow was very impressive, whether or not he should have done it! I can’t really blame the whole lot of them for fitting arrows to their bows. They’re young and in a scary situation and are reacting in a way that’s probably being drilled into them every day on the training fields where their teachers probably thought they had years to teach them that every situation is different. "If we let her go, she will run into the forest and a good deal more harm will come to her there than with us," the man argued. Good point. I think I like these Men. It got very tense there for a moment with everyone aiming arrows at each other. What a surprise it must have been for the Men that all the Elves were children! I like the conversation between Galithil and Legolas. It’s so realistic that there are opposing views and it’s actually reminiscent of Thranduil’s council meetings! So the Man speaks Sindarin! Well, Legolas’ instincts should tell him to trust him ;-) These folks have an interesting story. And they certainly *sound* trustworthy. Even knowing the children were safe, my heart was in my throat reading about their fathers trying to find them. I was glad Conuiön was there. It’s easy to think Dannenion was being idiotic (and ok, he kind of is) but he’s not used to being a warrior, and following orders and strategy. Aradunnon and Thranduil are obviously better at it, even in their worry but still, I’m glad Conuiön was there. That was a heart-stopping moment when they came across the dead spiders. And then, oh no – live ones!! Ok, I’m sure the next part was incredible but I have to confess I skipped through it. Sorry. Ick. "In the future," Thranduil said, when Aradunnon jogged up alongside him, "when both of us may potentially be in a battle, we must agree in advance who will command it," he observed dryly. ROTFL!! I love that moment. Thank heavens the adults finally got there. And they’re a lot faster than the children at assessing what’s going on. That was a great moment when Conuiön snaps the twig. And it’s clever of Legolas to remember not to give anything away about who’s who. It must have been a pretty amazing image when all the adults appeared. Though I suspect the Men wouldn’t appreciate it as much as I would have ;-) "And we did kill them both” *sigh* If only it were that easy. How does Barad know how to address Thranduil? Intriguing... I wonder if the healers will be able to help the wounded Man? It doesn’t sound good, though obviously Legolas wouldn’t realise just how slowly Men heal. I’m glad they’re going back to the stronghold – I’d like to hear more about them! And I’m glad everyone’s reunited. Great chapter, as always. Author Reply: I am so very sorry for being so long in replying to this. Comprehensive exams ate up all of my time this week. What a review! Oh my gosh! I love your comments about how the children thought through this whole mess. I had a fun time imagining how they'd react at this age (when they think themselves fairly capable) to something like this, especially given Legolas and Galithil's background with Men. It is a situation that lets Legolas and Galithil's different strengths and weaknesses really come out. And they are still children too, so, given that, they really did well. ;-) it’s actually reminiscent of Thranduil’s council meetings! Hooray! That's exactly what I wanted. That's where these kids are headed, of course, and what they are learning. To think and debate. It's what separates them from people like Anastor and Noruil. It’s easy to think Dannenion was being idiotic (and ok, he kind of is) but he’s not used to being a warrior, and following orders and strategy. Aradunnon and Thranduil are obviously better at it, even in their worry but still, I’m glad Conuiön was there. Again, that's exactly it! And why Thranduil is feeling a little sympathy for him up to a point. Dannenion did some stupid things, but at least he tried to help find his son, which is a step in the right direction for him, and he doesn't have any experience with things like scouting in enemy territories (or much less full scale battles), so he did ok. Mostly. Ok, I’m sure the next part was incredible but I have to confess I skipped through it. Sorry. Ick. ROFL!!! You killed me with this. Good thing you skipped it. Lot's of nasty spider action. ;-) Poor Men. All the adult Elves suddenly appearing must have been about it for them. Barad gets at least two more scenes in this story and perhaps one in the next one, depending on how I edit it. They are Good People. Legolas needs to learn that about the Dunedain. ;-) "And we did kill them both” *sigh* If only it were that easy. Exactly. That's the key. It's just going to take a lot for Galithil to actually grasp that. Pity. Thanks so much for the review! I love them! | |
| perelleth | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 2/28/2009 |
| OK, men, but not bad ones, apparently. Poor ones, with an elven girl in their hands and elven children ready to rain them with arrows, and a brother wounded, and the girld crying as if they were killing her! They really showed great control, these men. The battle was great. And I really love the not so smooth relationship between Thranduil and Aradunnon, sibling rivalry showing up even in 'after' battle. But both were tense, also, what with the prospect of their children lost in that spider infested area! These two guys haev a rough time when responsility and family clash at each step! That is one of the things that I love most of these story arc, the look at both public and private lives of the ruling family. This is most entertaining, elliska, I am so glad that you are finally finding time for updating! :-) Author Reply: I am so, so sorry to be so long in replying to this. Comprehensive exams sucked up every minute of time that I was not at work for the last week. Hehe! Yeah, you do have to feel sorry for the poor men, don't you? They must be about at their wits end. Barad did behaving very wisely, lucky for him or else things would have been worse for him. Poor Thranduil. I am an only child, but I imagine even if you do feel some sibling rivalry, you still must really count on your sibling always being there for you. And that is doubly true for someone in Thranduil's position, with Aradunnon being his troop commander. The family/politics thing must get very confusing and entangled. I really enjoy that too. Thanks so much for the review, Perelleth. I appreciate them so much! | |
| Ces | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 2/26/2009 |
| Great, great story so far and definite cliffhanger throughout this whole chapter! I love seeing Thranduil in action - we don't get enough of that! And his humor - "In the future," Thranduil said, when Aradunnon jogged up alongside him, "when both of us may potentially be in a battle, we must agree in advance who will command it," he observed dryly. - had me snorting my drink through my nose! Legolas is already showing definite signs of leadership, isn't he? The way he speaks with Barad - not automatically thinking bad of him is the sign of a coming great leader. And Barad has to become one of my favorite OC's. I can't wait to read more of him. I see you told Jay in her review that Thranduil is in for more of a rough time. I have to admit I'm wondering just what that is - poor elf! Looking forward to more! Ces Author Reply: I love that you said this was like a cliffhanger all the way through! I'd really hoped it was tense, but it is hard to judge for me. Action Thranduil is awesome! I love him too. And I'm glad you liked Thranduil and Aradunnon's little joke. :-) Barad is neat. He is a really good man, even if he is bringing some really scary news to Mirkwood, as Thranduil will see. Yes, this story is hard on Thranduil. Definitely. But I'll leave people wondering why. :-) Thank you so much for the review! I really appreciate them so much! | |
| Elena Tiriel | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 2/26/2009 |
| Oh, what a tense chapter! I'm glad that the camp that Maidhien barged into was filled with Men -- friendly ones -- but she was having none of their explanations that they wanted to help her.... poor, frightened girl! But the Men kept their wits about them during both of their encounters with the "more dangerous and less wise" wood elves... a good thing! Thranduil had a couple of decidedly "less wise" characters with him, who were not even disciplined warriors... as much as he must have empathized with their concern about their children, it must have been a pain... they didn't even understand that keeping their mouths shut was for their own safety! But it was a bit... dismaying to think that, though the children managed to kill a couple of the giant spiders, there were 50 more just hanging around to make mischief *rolls eyes*.... I am of the firm opinion that spiders should be no bigger than what you can squash with the heel of your boot. Well done, Elliska! I can breathe again! (For now... can't imagine you'll let that go on for too long....) - Barbara Author Reply: Poor Maidhien. She really panicked. She'd never seen Men before and she really wasn't expecting that on top of the spiders. Thranduil had a couple of decidedly "less wise" characters with him, LOL! So true! Dannenion and Dolwon definitely are the epitome of more dangerous and less wise! You cracked me up good with that. You would hope all the children would think about the danger they were in and how lucky they were when they think about the fact that it was 50 spiders, not two. But where would be the fun in that?! This is just the beginning of the story, after all. They can't learn too quickly. ;-) I'm with you in preferring my spiders in the itsy bitsy variety. Thanks so much for the review! I appreciate them so much! | |
| Jay of Lasgalen | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 2/25/2009 |
| I like Barad - and I tend to trust men who speak Sindarin, as they must have been around elves for a long time. Thranduil and Legolas were both excellent as well - I loved Legolas leading the elflings and his sound reasoning and battle strategy. And Thranduil is, as always, just wonderful. Thank you for not ending this on a cliffhanger! Jay Author Reply: Yeap, the Sindarin made a big difference for Legolas too. He knows men who speak Sindarin are ok. :-) I just love Thranduil and he is going to have such a rough time in this story. Poor thing. Thank you for not ending this on a cliffhanger! :-) I know, I've been bad. I almost never do cliffhangers but this story lends itself to them so much. Sorry. ;-) Thanks so much for the review! | |
| daw the minstrel | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 2/25/2009 |
| I like the little detail of Legolas trusting Berior to find Maidhien's trail. It's a good thing when an author doesn't give all the achievements to the MC. Actually, I liked Aradunnon commanding the battle too. Thranduil should let him do that! I think I was as dismayed as the kids were when they heard the scream. The confrontation with the men was tense because so much could go wrong. Thranduil's heart must have stopped when he recognized Legolas's fletching on the arrow in the spider. And I sympathize with Dannenion, but he's an idiot. At least he and Dolwon fought well once he'd attracted the spiders. I'm with Conuion. The spiders still look hungry to me. Dannenion wouldn't miss a leg, would he? The men are having a bad night with two groups of armed elves training arrows on them, even if one of the groups contains children. Legolas thought quickly to leave his father unidentified. At least the leader has the good sense to know that if one of the adult elves revealed himself, the men were getting a break. Author Reply: It is really fun thinking 'ok, this character will be good at XYZ' and planning stuff like that. Even if those character details can usually only work themselves into the story in small ways, like Legolas trusting Berior to track better, I still really like doing that. I enjoyed writing the children's confrontation with the men because there was so much potential for disaster. I'm glad that that tension did come across. I'd hoped it would, but it's not always easy to tell. Poor Thranduil. He had a rough night between seeing that Legolas actually fought a spider and Dannenion's idiocy (even though Thranduil sympathized with D's sense of urgency, he was still an idiot). I laughed when I read your comment about his leg though and said 'What about their legs--they don't need those--they look tasty' out loud right at my desk here and some students clearly think I've lost it! Conuion definitely agrees with you though. Poor men, they've had it rough. Better Elves than spiders though! ;-) Thanks so much for the review, daw! I appreciate them so much. | |
| perelleth | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 2/19/2009 |
| Wow! What an ending! Now you have me wondering! ORcs? Friendly men? What a tense chapter and all so packed! I cold feel the tension and fear in Thrnaduil's office, and no wonder! But the children behaved bravely. NOw I'm looking forward to the adults going to the rescue! Author Reply: I'm glad the tension came across. It is hard for me to tell if it is. Poor Thranduil--can you imagine being told your kid was fighting something like spiders?! I'd have a heart attack. The children were very brave. All things considered, they did well. But I think they are ready for some adults now too! Again, thanks so much for the reviews! | |
| perelleth | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 2/19/2009 |
| I'm so plesed to see that, after all, Anastor and Noruil are apparently comfortably haging around Legolas and his troop! And I keep marvelling at how good you are at conveying the children´s characters. Galithil's restlessness is a tangible thing. I am always catching my breath everytime he is around, for he is bound to find trouble! Author Reply: Sorry, got behind badly this weekend. Yes, Anastor and Noruil are friendlier with Legolas and cousins now. I wonder if Thranduil is overly pleased with that! ;-) And you are right the Galithil is bound for trouble. He's about to find it. Thanks so much for the review Perelleth! I have a lot of catching up to do, but I really appreciate them so much. | |
| Dot | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 2/17/2009 |
| What??? I never got a notification for this and thought you hadn’t posted – and there was I trying not to sulk! LOL. Very tense chapter. I admit I scrolled down first to see if the parents would find out :-) Those are some very brave kids. I was trying to ignore the You-Know-What but I was still hanging on the edge of my seat watching Legolas and the gang fighting them. Granted, they shouldn’t have been there in the first place and it would have been better if they’d fled and got away but all things considered, they did a mighty job in defending themselves. And I never thought I’d say this but thank heavens for Anastor and Noruil! Just in terms of someone telling Thranduil, you know ;-) I can’t decide what to really make of them here. I mean, they’ve legged it and left their sister yet again but at the same time, they’re still only kids and if they can get away, then all the better. Hmm. Despite the tension, I was still just getting interested in the talk of the villages before Danennion burst in. It didn’t even matter that I know what’s in Dol Guldur – you have me gripped watching them figure it out. I love Hallion putting himself between D&D and the king! Just goes to show what a startling entrance it was. The phrase echoed in his mind and for a moment Thranduil heard nothing else, though somewhere on the periphery of his senses he was aware that people were still speaking, saying something about Maidhien. Then there was yelling. Aradunnon yelling something about Galithil and Hallion calling for calm. The guards and warriors were silent, looking intently at Thranduil. It was their gaze that finally focused him. They were clearly waiting for orders. Oh, that was excellently done! Wow. And so real. I can just imagine that moment of shock. I did want to yell at them to MOVE when they started talking about clearings and ginger, though ;-) D&D seemed a bit, uh, stunned that Thranduil assumed they were going with him. I love Thranduil. Love him. How terrified he must be and yet he can gather himself to do what needs to be done. Oh, Maidhien. Why did she have to run that way... As she did, she looked into the faces of the people in the camp and her eyes widened again in abject fear. Oh... crap. Don’t leave us hanging!! I think this wins the prize for the most rushed review ever written but I thoroughly enjoyed the chapter :-) Author Reply: I am so glad this came across as tense. I can't always tell whether I've managed to make something tense enough. And I am so pleased with your comment about Thranduil's reaction. I really feel for him here because this is a real emergency. Can you imagine what it would be like to hear your child was around something that could kill him? I think I'd just collapse. So, yeah, I'm with you. Love Thranduil! Legolas and cousins were brave, if not a little too brave, with the spiders. They have reasons in their heads why they didn't just run (which you'll hear in the next chap, assuming they don't get cut, and which make kid-logic, at least), but success does tend to give people a false sense of security, which becomes important later. But even if it was just two spiders against four kids, they did really well. :-) They get a chance in the next chap to be brave again when they help Maidhien. Poor Anastor and Noruil. They are rotten to just run off in the opposite direction of their sister, but you really can't blame them in this case. I know I'd run blindly if I saw a big spider. And they did get help (even if they did lie about Galithil being the only one interested in going further into the forest)--they were braver than their fathers when speaking to Thranduil. You're right--D&D just kind of thought Thranduil would send some warriors--I don't think they planned on being warriors themselves. Cowards. It would never occur to Thranduil to not go after Legolas himself. Poor things. None of them are going to enjoy figuring out what's in the south. Geez Dot, I love your 'rushed' reviews. They are awesome and I appreciate them so much. Thanks! :-) | |