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| The Seeds of Time by daw the minstrel | 33 Review(s) |
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| Matt | Reviewed Chapter: 8 on 4/11/2007 |
| I have read (though not reviewed as I couldn't figure out how to do so until recently) most of your stories and liked this one as much as most of the others. Your characters are very well drawn and their situations and ways of doing things are clear, consistent and develop appropriately as they grow and change. Though I know that there are people who like the Turgon character, I have never enjoyed him because he both seems too undisciplined and too thoughtless of how his actions impact others. I know that there are many children (particularly boys) who are like this but (male though I am), I have never felt comfortable with the "boys will be boys" response to children that so many of us have. Still, he is an important character in many ways and his part--along with those of all of the others--is certainly integral to your vision of Legolas' growth. I hope that yo continue to do more stories in this universe (though I am not sure where else you could go to get multi-chapter ones at this poitn) and thankyou again for a thoughtful and well-written tale. Matt Author Reply: Thanks, Matt. I love these characters shamelessly, so I'm always pleased when someone else appreciates them. Turgon is a problem. I have a son, who's grown up now. Turgon is patterned after a friend of his. That friend scared the wits out of me. I liked him on a one-to-one basis but his parents paid too little attention and he just did some crazy things and I was worried he'd draw my son into them. I was deeply grateful when the friend didn't get accepted at the same university my son did so they couldn't room together. In other words, I think you're right. And yet, I feel for Turgon, especially when he's little. He has so much potential and he needs a firm hand to guide him until he gets some sense. I'm going to work on an original novel for a while, so what fanfic I do will probably be short things. I can't seem to leave it alone entirely. | |
| elliska | Reviewed Chapter: 8 on 4/11/2007 |
| I am being a bad employee and reading at work, since I taught last night... And that might have been a bad move because something about the end of this brought tears to my eyes. Thranduil and Lorellin together were so sweet and it is sad to know where that is going so soone. And to think of all the things she is going to miss--like Annael's mother being so important to Legolas and Eilian/Celuwen (her help really would have been good there). So sad. I love the family atmosphere in this--Eilian's dismay at how Legolas is writing, Lorellin's story to make her point to Eilian, a nice ride in the forest. Very nice to see. Great story daw! I hope you write another one soon. :-) Author Reply: I'm being a bad employee and answering reviews at work. What can they do? Fire me? They're busy planning my retirement reception! Nilmandra once told me that what my stories are really about is family. I think she's right. I really enjoy writing these loving but complicated relationships between people. | |
| erunyauve | Reviewed Chapter: 8 on 4/11/2007 |
| >>The letters were wobbly but clear: 'Legolas.' Oh! I remember this from the story about Annael's mother. I ought to re-read some of those older stories again. >>Turgon scrambled onto a bench and jumped off. Legolas climbed after him, with Annael right behind. Eilian glanced at Annael's mother. Seeing her continue to look serene, he relaxed. Heh - I can identify with that. I always had visions of broken necks when I babysat. Real parents are so much more relaxed - they've figured out that the kids don't break that easily. >>Gelmir's mother often asked herself the same sort of question. Yes, I can imagine. >>Eilian sat utterly still. Did he blame himself? Through his mind ran a rapid string of scenes: himself realizing where the orcs were, signaling, speaking to Maltanaur, hearing Gelmir and Fithral approaching, watching the forest floor collapse and take Fithral with it. >>He sighed. "When I think about it, I know I did everything I could, so I know I am not to blame." >>She seemed to consider that. "Perhaps knowing is not the same thing as feeling." That's the difficult part - convincing the heart. Lorellin seems to have put Eilian on the right path, at least. Author Reply: Oh yeah, writing his name. I was trying to tie up as many of the things that point to the future as I could, including that and also that Lorellin trusted Elowen to take care of her son, which of course she frequently does in the future. Lorellin understands Eilian, poor guy. He's young here and coming close to the Shadow for the first time. It must have taken him a while to learn to deal with it, and in some ways, I'm not sure he ever does completely. Glad you liked it, Erunyauve. | |
| mistry89 | Reviewed Chapter: 8 on 4/11/2007 |
| What a delightful addition to your arc. I particularly like Legolas' "voice". The sense of danger is embedded in the story, and future grief - if that makes sense in what seems to me to be primarily a window on attempting to deal well (well, to try to deal) with loss. Elflings and sub-texts they may be aware of but do not understand make it easy for the poor human mind to empathise. Thank you! Author Reply: Thanks, Mistry. The Legolas parts of this story were my favorite to write. Trying to sound like a little kid is so much fun. I have to shorten my sentences and alter my vocabulary, but mostly, I have to see the world in that kidlike way. So Legolas can get excited about being a tree, for instance. That made me laugh when i was writing it. You're right about the subtext, I think. We know what will happen and see what the characters will lose, and they just go on not knowing. | |
| annie | Reviewed Chapter: 8 on 4/11/2007 |
| Daw, I just wanted to let you know that I have read all your legolas stories amd have looooved them all very much. They are without a doubt my favourite fanfiction. Please dont stop, reading them over and over brightens my day and new stories are a very big bonus. Author Reply: Thank you, Annie. I love these characters shamelessly, so I'm grateful when someone wants to read about them. I'm working on original fiction these days, which is why I'm writing less fanfic, but I can't seem to stay away entirely. Fanfic feels like play, like a chance to experiment and learn something. And of course, I get to hear from readers. :-) | |
| Noor | Reviewed Chapter: 8 on 4/11/2007 |
| Thank you so much for this moving story that speaks volumes about the influence of Lorellin on her family and illustrates all the relationships within the family. I really enjoyed seeing young Legolas's friendship with Annael and Turgon developing. This story really underlines their future loss...at least in this story despite the shadow Lorellin's family are together and their love for each other is apparent. Noor Author Reply: You're welcome, Noor. I'm so glad you liked it. Writing from Lorellin's POV let me learn a lot more about her. Her family tends to remember her in rosy terms, and she deserves them mostly because she was so important to them. Even Thranduil was different in her presence. But she was more complicated than her sons and husband recall. She was flawed and strong and fierce and thoroughly wood elfy. I liked her. | |
| insignia | Reviewed Chapter: 8 on 4/11/2007 |
| Hi daw, thank you for another great story. I like little Legolas - pretty cuddly, I'm sure, and much less hardy and tested than the older one! And nice to see his nana and ada interacting, too. I like also how you manage your characters, so we see them developing through your stories. We have a young and less confident Eilian, Gelmir struggling to cope with shadow, Elowen being a responsible young parent, and some markers for what is to come in the next stage of Legolas's life when we hear about his mother's daring past, her missing her family and her plans for her next trip. Bit puzzled about why Legolas in this chapter had two visitors, who then get reduced to Turgon ...? So what is next in your saga? Another young Legolas, or back to adulthood? Personally I would like your take on how the fellowship got on and on what happened after the events of RotK. But whatever it turns out to be I shall read with great delight I am sure! Thanks once again. Author Reply: You're entirely welcome, Insignia. I'm glad you enjoyed it. You made me laugh because I guess it is pretty hard to look at this sweet elfling pretending to be a tree and see the warrior of the Fellowship. I so appreciate your comment about how the characters seem different over time. That's tricky to do, I find. Someone else asked me about the two visitors too. In my head, it was only Turgon who came to get Legolas. He was bold enough to march up to the palace while Annael waited on the Green. So the two elflings in the antechamber were Turgon and Legolas, who had run ahead. Given that you're the second person to mention it, I guess I wasn't too clear. Hm. Shall I try to edit? I'll have to think. The next bit of writing I need to do is a revision of an original young adult fantasy novel I wrote over the winter. I only hope you and everyone else gets a chance to read it! | |
| Marie | Reviewed Chapter: 8 on 4/11/2007 |
| That was a wonderful story. It was good to get a glimpse of how life was like for the royal family of Mirkwood at a time when all its members were still there. I like Lorellin alot, and it is an almost unbearable thought that she will not be with them much longer. Your imagery is excellent, I especially enjoyed chapter 4. "Trouble lay thick in his heart". I could almost sense a sort of mistlike worry laying claim to THranduil. And of course the elfling-game. As others have said it is a great woodelf thing to think up! But what stood out most for me, was little Legolas having to push at his heart to keep it in his breast at the end of story, because his beloved older brother was doing really scaring things! The action in these last chapters was excellent too. You show very nicely the different reactions of everybody, instead of just telling us how they are feeling. The three elflings on the ledge was a good example. Anyway, I could probably go on for quite some time. Thank you for this story Daw, I can never get enough of your Mirkwood-tales. Marie Author Reply: Lorellin surprised me while I was writing this story. She turned out to be more flawed and more wood-elfy than I realized. But she's fierce in her love for her family and she was so necessary to them. As I wrote this, I could see even more clearly how much they lost when she died. The elfling game was my favorite part of this story. I know there's not much action and it's just kids playing, but making Legolas pretend to be a tree was so much fun. I've been working on both imagery and showing rather than telling, so I'm immensely pleased to have you notice both those things. Thank you, Marie. | |
| Elena Tiriel | Reviewed Chapter: 8 on 4/11/2007 |
| Daw, This is a thoughtful and insightful story, though it made me scared more than once... two cliffies in a row left my fingernails chewed down to the quicks! But it tugged at my heartstrings even more, especially knowing what's to come. You have so clearly shown how central to the entire family Lorellin was. I wish she wasn't going to visit her relatives quite so soon... it is soooo obvious that she is loved and truly needed... as she loves and needs her family. And they all need time to recover from almost losing Legolas. I love how much she shares with Eilian... she is the one person who really understands him. Who would have thought that the Queen had such a wild childhood? And I also love the little bits about how Celuwen kept her childhood friend from doing the more stupid things he might have otherwise attempted.... And Legolas, Annael, and especially Turgon are such amazing prototypes of the adults they will become (except Turgon, of course, who won't quite make it...). I have read (many times) all your stories from the beginning, Daw. You started as a good author, and have grown so very much since. I am in awe of your ability to describe the intricate bonds between your characters, and to make each one so distinct and so real and so fascinating. There were so many excerpts to like about this story, but the one quotation that struck an incredibly sad and profound chord with me is: I am coming, sweetling, she thought. I will always come. *sob* - Barbara Author Reply: You know, I think you're right about the heartstrings. There was action in this story, but the real thing I cared about was establishing what Lorellin was like and how important she was to her family. The action was all in the service of that. I certainly never realized Lorellin was a wild child, but when I started writing about her, it just seemed right. She's a wood elf and Eilian is like her. That combination suggests a lot! You started as a good author, and have grown so very much since I can't tell you how much I value this compliment. I've been working at learning to write better and it's such a slow, incremental process that I can't tell if I have. So thank you for this. daw | |
| Kate | Reviewed Chapter: 8 on 4/11/2007 |
| I'm not sure if it was harder for me to read this because it's the end or because Lorellin is about to die. As always, this story was a pleasure to read. You were not joking when you said this chapter would tie up the lose ends! "Ithilden had been upset enough about being too big to go into the cave " LOL! I'm getting this picture of him yelling at the rocks. "Of course, Eilian had spent the evening in his parents' sitting room too, with no desire to leave and find his friends." Prefect. I loved how close they all were in this story. Thranduil’s protectiveness of those he loves is so touching. I'm very happy you decided not to kill Eilian so many stories ago! Thranduil has suffered too many loses, seeing him with his wife only reinforces that. ""Very well. I believe you." She patted his arm. "Remember those at home who love you, and stay out of rapids or whatever the equivalent is in that place. In the long run, you have to face your own feelings anyway." " I really liked how you showed with their relationship. What she said here is so different from what Thranduil would have said... it's so clear what all of them, Eilian in particual lost. You really explained Thranduil’s “you’re so like your mother at times” comment with some of Lorellin stories. ""There you are." Thranduil settled next to her, his eyes on the elflings. "I am free for the rest of the afternoon, and I hoped you and Legolas would go for a ride with me. Eilian too, if he is around."" Oh, soft/doting Thranduil! I love how he included Eilian! Also from the last chapter, the "two elfings" line was great! ""Thranduil, I have seen that map you and Ithilden spend all your time poring over. My family's village is within the safe area." " No wonder Ithilden felt responsible! Ouch. "Besides," he whispered in Legolas ear, "Nana is worth waiting for, do you not agree?" " I loved that exchange. I loved this story and am sorry to see it end. The ending of chapter seven was so sweet and the interaction between all the characters was amazing (as always). I particularly liked how you foreshadowed her death with her advice to Eilian, approval of Legloas's friends and the time with Thranduil. Do you expect to write another story while she is alive again? Additionally, have you considered writing about Lorellin and Thranduil in Valinor or about Legolas's return after the ring is destroyed? Best line: ""Are you sure he should be playing with Turgon?" Thranduil asked. " It took me a minute to recover from laughing. If only they had foresight. Nice to see that Lorellin has some concerns about Turgon's parents. Looking forward to the next story! Kate PS One line I think I forget to mention before that I liked from chapter one was: " even more maddening, he did not seem to notice when Thranduil tried to intimidate him into silence." One other question, the rune Thranduil gave Eilian in The Warrior, what was its significance? Author Reply: I had to kind of keep Ithilden out of this story because I had Lorellin's POV to deal with too and I just can't manage too many. My head starts to hurt after while and I'm tempted to kill of a few characters. Of course, Nana is going soon anyway, more's the pity. Every once in a while, I think about how I almost killed Eilian and I can't believe it. What was I thinking????? Was I insane? Lorellin was already enough of a loss, as you say. Thranduil was so different when she was around, even with his sons. I'm sitting here thinking about a Thranduil/Lorellin in Valinor story. There are people who do terrific stories about Valinor, Bodkin most notably. But when I think about it, I realize how much I depend on Tolkien for my fics. If I don't have the Quest in the future and Sauron as an enemy, I have a lot more trouble thinking up plots. Re the rune: It was just a rune that was thought to protect the one who wore it. In my head, mothers often gave them to young elves intending to be warriors. Sort of like wearing a cross or a saint's medal. Thanks for this kind review, Kate. | |