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| Beyond The Dimrill Gate by Jay of Lasgalen | 224 Review(s) |
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| viggomaniac | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 5/8/2006 |
| Sufferin' succotash! What a great chapter. Yes, I saw that you prefer elves but I must admit the beginning of this story has me thoroughly drawn in due to the Estel angle. The algae thing was great. I'd read that before but it's a nice touch to your chapter. I daresay young Estel is about to have a potentially bad experience. If not him, then, the twins, but I'm betting on Estel or maybe all of them. So far, the odds are in Estel's favor (depending on which side you're betting on). I love fics that explore that which was spoken of but not enriched upon. I enjoyed the part when Estel is imagining 'bony, grasping hands reaching out from the walls to grab him..." Not too far off the mark as it turns out. And we all know that orcs have no consciences. When I review I like to comment on one or two specific things I enjoyed. So here goes: specifically liked the wording regarding the orcs' singing: "and harsh voices raised in a discordant parody of song." Kind of like me in the shower, I'd wager. Anyways, great start and I'm most anxious to read more. Thanks for sharing. Author Reply: From your name, I guess you prefer Estel? They're all going to have a bad time sooner or later - I do love angst! And there is so much Tolkien didn't tell us - it's why I love reading and writing fanfic, to fill in the gaps. Tolkien wrote a poem about the Mewlips - and I think I had them in mind when I wrote the 'bony, grasping hands'. I'm glad you liked the description of the orcs' 'singing' - I tried to make readers hear how unpleasant it is (and it's even worse than my husband's singing!! | |
| Nilmandra | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 5/8/2006 |
| I cannot even imagine the horrors of the dark of Moria. Estel has to be scared, this is way beyond his experience. I think he's about to find out just how uptight he can make his brothers. Author Reply: By the time the three are reunited, Estel is going to be even more scared - and the twins are not going to be pleased with him. Poor Estel - in a dark, narrow tunnel, with a crumbling roof - and he's just discovered that his brothers aren't behind him as he thought. And now there's orcs ... | |
| viggomaniac | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 5/8/2006 |
| Just found this today and must say, you're off to a terrific start. Love the sense of foreboding, the little banter between the twins and Estel and the hesitation by the Lorien elves in accepting Estel as the twins' brother. The naming of the mountains was a good touch and sounds just like something a 'little brother' would do. I'd say I was dying to read the next chapter but not only would that be incorrect but I don't have to. It's already been posted! Author Reply: Thanks for the review! I love writing the twins, but haven't done much about them with Estel. From that quote about his 'great deeds' they obviously took him out questing when he was old enough, and think they'd treat him just as a younger brother. This trip is like a finishing school for a ranger, so he's learning a lot - including names :) | |
| daw the minstrel | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 5/8/2006 |
| The algae stuff was very clever, Jay. Looks like things are going from bad to worse in Moria. Estel is about to develop some new confidence and skills, I'd say, but not painlessly! Author Reply: The algae will be very useful later on, when things start to get really bad for them :>) Estel achieves 'great deeds', remember - but you can see why I need that 'where the hell ...' line later on! | |
| elliska | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 5/7/2006 |
| OH, this is going to be a good one, Jay. I am really looking forward to seeing what you make of that first quote, because it has always piqued my curiosity. And this is a great beginning. All the characters are great and the setting is already spooky. I'm going to love it. Author Reply: Tolkien didn't tell us anything about either event, did he? That gives me a free rein to be as dramatic and creative as I like ;>) Thanks for the review - the next chapter's just been posted! | |
| Bodkin | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 5/4/2006 |
| Great deeds, indeed. You can tell young Aragorn is still very young, can't you? Just bound and determined to show off his knowledge and his skills! The twins are managing to keep him and Arwen apart, though - for a little bit longer, anyway. They are doing a good job of looking after their little brother and taking him round to meet all the right people. Very wise of them to whistle up a Lorien patrol - even if they did disturb one of the local birds! Mind you, they are still heading straight for something that will be like the Battle of Waterloo - a close-run thing. Looking forward to more. Author Reply: To elves, a man of twenty must seem very young indeed, and it's reflected in the way they treat Estel. They don't mean to, it just happens. They know, though, that he is one of the Dunedain, and will spend a great deal of time wandering in the wild - so they teach him the tricks of survival. Those tricks will come in handy rather sooner than any of them think. | |
| Nilmandra | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 5/2/2006 |
| I like that they could sense something wrong in the mountain, and it does make you wonder what. The dwarves had left in what, 2800? and we don't know much of what happens again until the time of the war of the ring. Even at the end of the war of the Dwarves and Orcs, Durin's Bane was so named. I wonder if the dwarves even knew what Durin's Bane was? Anyway, it is fascinating to think of what Aragorn was doing in Moria - that is a great gap to fill. I like the idea that he was not alone. You have Aragorn meeting Thengel too - are you going to use that sometime later, when Aragorn becomes Thorongil and serves Thengel? I would think a stranger from the north would be memorable. Author Reply: I've had to think carefully about how much I can let them discover in Moria - in LOTR, Aragorn had never seen a Balrog before, and Gandalf and Celeborn didn't seem to know it was there. So, no Balrog in this story - just something very nasty lurking in the depths. I like all the things Tolkien suggests but never tells us - it's what makes fanfic so appealing. We know Aragorn went to Moria once - why? And why not with the twins? Aragorn is not a character I write very much (apart from a few early stories) so I haven't decided if he'll return as Thorongil. I prefer elves! | |
| Guardian Angel of Wolves | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 5/2/2006 |
| Great start; I can't wait to read what trouble Estel and the twins will get into *this* time. :) Author Reply: Lots of trouble - this will be very angsty. What do you expect from those two quotes? | |
| hanci | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 5/2/2006 |
| This will be great! I liked the way Elladan examines his feelings and compares with Elrohir. And seeking out a patrol, that was really wise/responsible - whatever. Yes, you would want someone like that to teach you. Estel reciting all the names was funny, I could almost see his face... (I also liked the real owl and Elrohir stopping Orophin...) Author Reply: Thank you! Elladan trusts his feelings - and his twin's. They both know there is something very wrong here, and that someone has to investigate. They find out what they can, tell Orophin to warn Galadriel - and set off to slay Balrogs themselves. They wouldn't make someone else do it for them. Aragorn in LOTR knows so much - but he had to learn it from someone in the first place, so why not his brothers? I think elven patrols using bird calls to signal to each other is logical (but not original - I know several other writers have used the idea before me.) | |
| Fire | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 5/2/2006 |
| Great idea to use those two quotations for a story. The tension you're building here is almost palpable, they know there's something wrong in Moria especially after meeting Orophin, but they still want to go and see just what it is they feel. Somehow the twins ands Estel just keep forgetting that they are very good at atracting trouble, and now they decided to walk straight into it. It's amazing, will they ever learn?? I know I'm gonna enjoy this one, so please update fast. Author Reply: Well, Tolkien never told us anything about those times, so there was nothing that said I <>couldn't combine them. I'm not trying to write the twins as irresponsible thrill-seekers here - they're experienced warriors, and need to investigate danger that could threaten Lorien or Imladris. I'm glad you're enjoying it so far - I'll update as fast as I can, but time to write is not always easy to find! | |