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| The Choice of Healing by Larner | 121 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| Inkling | Reviewed Chapter: 15 on 7/24/2005 |
| Lovely, that last image of Frodo lying asleep on the hill. And sad, as Sam realizes that his light will soon be gone from the world. But the acceptance in this chapter seems to extend to Sam, too, with Rosie there to sustain him. A very gentle and peaceful chapter. Author Reply: Yes, the acceptance is made by both Frodo and Sam, I think. Am glad you liked it so. | |
| Inkling | Reviewed Chapter: 14 on 7/13/2005 |
| Larner, I am so deeply sorry about your husband…he must have been a very courageous man. I feared there was a reason your story has the ring of truth to it, but hope that “writing it out” has helped to keep it from eating your heart away... Thanks for explaining…and be assured that I will continue to stick with it. The love that is always present in the story makes the sadness bearable. *hugs* Inkling Author Reply: He used to joke he was dying of everything. He had blood vessel disease from years of uncontrollable high blood pressure followed by diabetes; he then had heart disease, a triple bypass, a bout of heart attacks the summer before he died; a spate of ministrokes that damaged the breathing centers in the brainstem and the portion of the nerve centers that receives or interprets the information sent from the ankles to tell when one is standing upright--and since he had been blinded in an accident when a young man, he couldn't rely on vision to correct for the lack of accurate information from his legs and feet. Also had only partial feeling in his right thumb as a result of another ministroke. Three years before he died his kidneys failed and he went on peritoneal dialysis. It was truly only the last year that was really bad for him, however. Suddenly we found ourselves on a daily seesaw, and I lived with a PDR in hand, trying to help sort out whether the day's symptoms indicated another stroke, another heart attack, a possible infection, or the side effects of any one or combination of two or more of the many pills and so on he had to take daily. Depression was quite common, sometimes for physical reasons, sometimes as an effect of one or more of the drugs. It was rather hairy at times. I began reading LOTR again during the last weeks, IIRC, and I had been looking forward to the release of the movies, which were due out the following December. I was also very involved on the discussion board for a court case I follow. That and my work with my blind students got me through it all. T. was quite a guy, and I miss him terribly at times, but often feel him looking in on me to remind me to get my bod to bed. I think I'd better do so now, in fact. Luv ya, sweetheart. He still nags me, I find. | |
| Inkling | Reviewed Chapter: 14 on 7/12/2005 |
| Just when I think this story can’t get any sadder…! While, thank God, I’ve never had the experience of seeing someone close to me go through a debilitating or terminal illness, I can imagine that this is what it must be like: the false hopes, the setbacks, the moments of despair… One question: given Frodo’s option of going into the West, what does it mean that he’s attempting suicide—that he feels he would rather die in the Shire than leave it? Or that he feels he is not worthy of going West? Author Reply: I lived through my husband's last illness, and saw the debilitation and the false hopes as well. There were a few times when he considered going more quickly, but he always hung in there anyway. But the depression that accompanies the worst bouts of pain cannot be described easily. I suspect in Frodo's case there was the feeling of lack of worth as well as an unwillingness to leave his identity as a Hobbit of the Shire that may have led him to dismiss the idea of going West at the moment and added to the attempts at suicide. But I suspect it was more a matter of momentary desperation and temporary loss of coherent thought brought on by the nights of sleeplessness and recurrent nightmares and severe depression that accompany such experiences that would induce the feelings anything would be better NOW than what he was going through. The chance to go to the Undying Lands was still in an uncertain future; the pain and overwhelming anxiety and temporary madness they brought on were happening in the moment. I have experienced repeatedly throughout my life a form of temporary anxiety that is almost impossible to describe and that leaves me desperate to move. I have found out over the years it is always brought on by physical discomfort that is sufficiently minor that in the moment I am not consciously paying attention to it, but which on a subconscious level is so stimulating my amygdala that I physically cannot remain still. I've found it can be brought on by earrings fastened too tightly, by having my back just a bit out, by having a mild sore throat and an oncoming bout of strep throat, by being physically too warm, and other such stimul. Trying to describe it beyond this is so very hard to do, but I feel as if my skin is crawling right off my body. A relative who used to do illegal drugs described a similar feeling, but highly exaggerated by the effects of the chemicals in his body, that he would often experience when he was starting to come down. Knowing how I'm truly ready to crawl right up a wall when it happens to me, I can begin to imagine how he felt. A couple times he came close to causing himself serious harm while in such states. I can easily see how someone as sick as my husband was or as Frodo was could find himself wanting to end it NOW. Thanks for sticking with it--it DOES get better. | |
| Inkling | Reviewed Chapter: 13 on 7/1/2005 |
| Rosie’s speech was lovely, and Frodo’s self-doubt and longing so touchingly expressed. His spring illness is all the harder to bear for coming after the brief return of hope as he dreams of telling stories to Sam’s and Rosie’s children. No matter how many stories I read about this period of Frodo’s life, it never gets any easier…but I keep reading them! P.S. — To answer your question, nope, haven’t sneaked a peek at the last two chapters…but I have read “Filled with Light as with Water.” Author Reply: Yes, I was aware of that reading. Frodo is filled with self-doubt, and needs reassurance, although until his body is better I doubt he'll believe it. Tolkien himself commented that it was that last spring illness that sparked Frodo's awareness that he would not recover, that finally paved the way for his realization he must leave Middle Earth. And it is a sad time for Frodo, coming to terms with the realization that his only hope lies now in the West, not here surrounded by those he loves. | |
| Inkling | Reviewed Chapter: 12 on 6/21/2005 |
| *heaves a sigh of relief along with Sam* Well, I’m glad that’s over! Poor Frodo, and poor Sam! This was just heartbreaking: “You’ve been worried sick the day coming will be your last is what,” Sam finally finished for him. After a time Frodo whispered, “Yes, I suppose so. Or, maybe I’m worried that it won’t.” This night seems to be a turning point in more ways than one--Frodo is beginning to see the path before him, and it lies in the stars... Author Reply: You haven't read the last two chapters as yet, have you? I think you will find them beautiful. | |
| Inkling | Reviewed Chapter: 11 on 6/21/2005 |
| No, I haven’t forgotten this story! But RL has been all-consuming lately… Such a sad, painful chapter! Hearing Frodo describe his own suffering is especially wrenching. And yet, as usual, he is so restrained about it and tries to hide it from Sam. Even when “writing it out” in the book, he will leave out most of what he endured… Author Reply: It was ever in Frodo's nature, I think, to try to spare others, to hide what was wrong with him inside himself, not even writing it out so others could see, most of the time. Glad you are still following it, and definitely know about Real Life and its impact. | |
| Inkling | Reviewed Chapter: 10 on 6/8/2005 |
| “Did you have to wear that to the table?” LOL! I’m ready to smack Paladin upside the head for his refusal to understand or believe…for I do see it as a refusal rather than an inability…most people don’t want to hear that others had it worse than they did. It belittles what they went through themselves, and even, perhaps, sounds arrogant to their ears. Remember Barliman? “There were some folk killed, killed dead! If you’ll believe me.” That, to him, was far worse than anything Gandalf and the others could say about the War. Author Reply: I certainly appreciate what you note. This could definitely be at play here, although it is more, in my eyes, a vain attempt to try to pretend the bad times didn't happen at all, that we are just the same happy family we were before that awful time we will seek to suppress memories of happened. Yes, I, too, have found myself wanting to smack Paladin at times, but Eglantine's reactions are even, in my view, worse--wanting to twist reality to something else instead. | |
| Radbooks | Reviewed Chapter: 10 on 6/4/2005 |
| You know, if you continue to write such wonderful stories, I am NEVER going to get any housework done! :) I've been sitting around here all day just soaking up this story like a sponge. Ah well, housework will always be there. I am enjoying seeing the interactions between Pippin and Merry and their parents and others in the Shire that were spoken of in King's Commission. How hard it is for people to accept others when they have changed from the picture they had of them in their minds. And the way you portray Fordo and his downhill slide is so heartbreaking. Well done! Author Reply: Yes, it is heartbreaking watching someone you love lose their health. Been there, done that. And the folk of the Shire would have found the thought that the world has changed due to the actions of their own very hard to understand. Glad you like the references from the King's Commission as well. | |
| Radbooks | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 6/4/2005 |
| Larner, Another wonderful story! I loved King's Commission and have just now had time to start this story. I keep getting update notices for your newest story and I go, Argh! I have to read these, but summer is almost here for me and I should have more time. Anyway, the first 4 chapters have been done in your usual excellent well-written style and I love the richness of your well developed characters and your abilty to enhance Tolkien's world. Thank you for that. You recently sent me an email asking if I was Primsong, I am not. Though I went to her site and I noticed that she too is a Librarian. I am just Radbooks! :) Author Reply: Durn--that we'd have two librarians from here in the Puget Sound area seems so much a coincidence! Ah, well. Do read her story "Nothing of Note" which I've only read on FanFiction Net--but do have your adaware and spybot software blockers going. It is masterfully written. Glad you find this adds to Middle Earth for you. | |
| Inkling | Reviewed Chapter: 9 on 5/29/2005 |
| One gets the sense that the children are “getting it” better than the adults. And that seems, perhaps, a hopeful sign for the future. But then, children are more open to strange and wonderful tales than their elders. As Tolkien often remarked, it’s a shame that fairy tales are relegated to the nursery. The undercurrent of this story seems to be one of understanding, or lack thereof. Interesting to hear the account of the quest told over and over, in bits and pieces, to various people, who all react to it so very differently… Author Reply: Yes, that is one of the major themes, the theme of understanding. Some accept what they are told; others, like Paladin and Eglantine, don't even want to hear the truth, fearing it is too hard to accept and that it shows they somehow failed Pippin, Merry, and Frodo--don't think they are thinking too hard about Sam, unfortunately. And the children will accept it better than their parents at this point, for they don't have preconceptions to fight as well. Am glad to see you following the story steadily. | |