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| Of Balrogs and Battles by Jay of Lasgalen | 30 Review(s) |
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| lwarren | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 8/25/2004 |
| Well, Jay, here it is, early morning and I'm sitting in class getting prepared for the day (HA!)by fortifying myself with this sweet little story about the twins and Glorfindel, and what happens? I reach the end and almost fall out of the chair...then I use half a box of Kleenex! What an ending! What a surprise! and how very,very sad and prophetic! You did a superb job of telling such a convincing story (the twins' play, Glorfindel's story...which was chilling in and of itself...the subsequent nightmare...the new game with Elrond's hilarious reaction)and then blasting the readers with that last seemingly innocent line! Wonderful! linda Author Reply: I think perhaps that second chapter should have had a Kleenex warning on it, judging by the reactions it's got! Hope it didn't spoil your day too much - you're in back class already? I'm glad you liked the story - I had fun writing it, especially Elrond leaping out on his sons in that last scene. | |
| JastaElf | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 8/24/2004 |
| Oh my God. Oh my Everliving GOD!!! JAY!!!! You are flat-out wonderful, do you know that?? You weave this sweet little story, give us Twinses dreaming through the memories of Earendil, show us adults acting silly--then ram in the knife so expertly, so perfectly, like Glorfindel skewering the Balrog.... Then this: “We’re warriors. Nana’s been captured by orcs, and we’re going to rescue her!” Oh. My. God. I don't know whether to cry or hug you or both. :-) What a brilliant move, so superbly done, so completely unexpected--so innocent, because they don't know what WE know as the omniscient reader.... oh my God, oh my God. And I mean that entirely prayerfully.... I applaud you. This is splendid. This is brilliant. This is horrid and wonderful and oh my GOD, Tolkien would even love this.... VERY well done, nin mellon. VERY well done indeed. Author Reply: *blushing* Wow, thanks, Jasta! I thought that for two such adventurous children, it would be a natural game to play. Even boring Erestor joined in. None of them had any idea it would become so horrifically real in later life. The dream started off as a straightforward nightmare, but then I thought if they could have inherited the memories from their grandfather who witnessed it - it added a certain twist. Thanks again - and I'm delighted that last line worked so well! | |
| JastaElf | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 8/24/2004 |
| Ai, Jay, I just LOVE your Twins... they must be about the age of the kids you teach, here, yes? No wonder you have them down so well... *grin* And I adore the calm of the parents: I can just hear Elrond's voice, marvellously calm, as he informs Celebrian he fished them out of the pond because they were frightening the fish.... I love it!! After centuries of life, what can two children possibly do to upset Elder Elven sangfroid? *snicker* I love the Twins's reaction to the book, too. One being careful with the book, one not... both stunned at the thought of Glorfindel and the Balrog... in short, I love the whole thing! Now on to the next chapter! Author Reply: Great to hear from you, Jasta! The twins here are so much easier to write than they were in 'Two By Two', they have such different characters now. Yes, the parents are calm - mostly because they know the twins would never do anything to harm one another. I think the story of Glorfindel and the Balrog would be enthralling to children! | |
| Alassiel | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 8/23/2004 |
| This was a delightful and chilling tale, which I read twice. The delight was in the depiction of family life and of how it would be as a child in Imladris. The chills came from the recounting of the fall of Gondolin, Glorfindel's sacrifice, and especially the ending. Thank you indeed. Author Reply: Thank you, as well. I think the twins' childhood in Imladris would be idyllic, with no dark shadows for them to fear. The terrors - so they thought - were safely in the past. | |
| Elendiari22 | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 8/22/2004 |
| Wow, what a great ending! The poor twins, to be frightened so badly. And talk about foreboding at the end! It's sad to think that they're playing at Celebrian being captured by orcs, when we know it really happened. Truly tragic, but lovely. Thank you! Author Reply: I'm glad you liked the end - I wonder if any of them will remember this game in later years? The twins were scared by the dream, but it was more down to their imaginations than what Glorfindel actually said - he loves them too much to frighten them deliberately. | |
| Lianna | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 8/22/2004 |
| Well, THAT was an unexpected ending! I hope you will decide to tell us Celebrian's story some day -- even though it is sad. But for now, thank you for the elfling story. And I think I may be falling in love with Glorfindel. Author Reply: I think the ending startled a lot of readers! I may do Celebrian's story, but several others have already - I prefer uncharted territory. In the meantime, I have a few more short elfling stories planned. You like Glorfindel? Join the queque! | |
| Karri | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 8/22/2004 |
| Terrific job, Jay! The twins were adorably mischevious to the very last word and the nightmares were wonderful done. I am working on (*she laughs as shy types knowing how many stories she has in her bin that are started by likely never to be finished*) a story that starts around the fall of Gondolin. I may have to use this as a cheat sheet for it. ;-) Author Reply: Thanks! You're welcome to use anything you like. I like the twins like this - mischievious, but caring and sensible at the same time. I'm glad you liked the nightmares too. I'm looking forward to reading your story some day! | |
| Brazgirl | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 8/22/2004 |
| Very nice. Poor Glorfindel. The twins dreamt about it... poor ones! I hate nightmares. The end was very nice though the twins couldn't predict their playtime would be their mother's destiny... Nice fic!!! Glorfindel and Elrohir are cute. Author Reply: Thank you! I must admit that Elrohir is my favourite twin for some reason. Their nightmares were inevitable after the story, but there was no premonition about the new game, was there? | |
| French Pony | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 8/22/2004 |
| Well, they do say that play is the way that kids learn how to do what they'll do when they grow up. . . you do take child development literally, don't you? I like the way Glorfindel told the story -- partially from a child's-eye view, which is appropriate for telling a story to children, and partially from his own perspective. Of course, that's easy when you're telling kids a story about their own family. It's also a sharp observation that the kids know that Glorfindel is lying about his death being painless. It's a fiction they all have to maintain for the sake of the story, but the kids know better. And, of course, there will be nightmares. It must be nice to have another twin there to comfort you when you wake up with a nightmare. This was a very finely observed story. Everyone acted and reacted very much as one would expect for an extended family of protected Elves related to the great actors in history, from the dead-and-reborn hero right down to the little kids, pride and joy of everyone in the household. By the way, the review box accepts HTML tags. So I put italics in reviews by just typing < i > texttexttext < / i > , only without the spaces, and it comes out italic. It's a neat trick. I still don't know if the review box accepts links. Maybe I'll try it sometime. Author Reply: I decided that Glorfindel wouldn't be so irresponsible that he terrified the twins with graphic descriptions, but their own imaginations and atavistic memories did it. At least they could comfort each other. I'm glad you liked everyone's reactions, I try hard to get characterisations believable. Who would have thought that the new game would turn out the way it did? I wonder if any of them remembered it? And thank you, I worked out how to do italics by experimenting with HTML a couple of days ago! | |
| Dot | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 8/22/2004 |
| Oh, Jay! There I was enjoying the story and then I get to the last line… I think my heart actually stopped for a moment… Your description of Gondolin is breathtaking. It sounds so peaceful, yet full of life and song, which makes it all the more heartbreaking to think of what happened. “As Glorfindel spoke, the brushstrokes of his words painted vivid pictures on the impressionable canvas of their minds.” What a beautiful sentence. I love the way Glorfindel tells them that Eärendil was indeed scared – and thus it’s o.k. to be frightened – but also reassures them that, like his grandsons, he was also very brave. You know, I know very well what happened in that story and yet your descriptions bring it so completely to life that I was literally on the edge of my seat as I read. I still feel kind of tense, actually! You really brought us close to the people who were there so that we could see how very difficult this journey was for them, even apart from the appearance of Orcs and the Balrog. How sad to think that Glorfindel’s last thought was that he had failed. I had never thought before either of how he had helped lead the people that far and yet didn’t live to know the outcome. The nightmare was fascinating. I feel bad for them because it was horrifically vivid but I suppose in some ways it’s a gift too to see this part of their heritage through the eyes of the grandfather they never knew. They have such compassion for Glorfindel. It’s amazing the way this helps them to forget their own fear. They’re lucky too to have each other, in whom they can find comfort and strength. I can’t believe now that I actually laughed at the antics of Erestor and Celebrian. Poor Elrond must have been totally bewildered. Like I said, the end completely startled me. All along they’ve been acting out real events, who knew that this game would also come true? It makes it all the more poignant because you’ve given Celebrian such a playful spirit and shown her so happy. Even Erestor seems to approve of this game, which shows that he doesn’t think for a second that any such thing might actually happen. I thought it was interesting that Elladan and Elrohir seemed to know that their father wouldn’t like this game. I can only imagine what he felt when it actually happened. I hope that the twins don’t remember this game when that time comes. *sigh* I guess it goes to show that the worst really can happen. This was a really great story and very cleverly told. :-) Author Reply: Another wonderful review, thank you again! I took the descriptions of Gondolin and the battle from The Silmarillion, then added a few more details, like Earendil's part in it, and tried to see it from the POV of the elves who were there. I've referred to this event in a couple of other stories - the nightmares, Elrohir waking up crying, the two of them so scared they share a bed. I had to go through and check each reference to make sure I didn't contradict myself! And poor Celebrian. None of them realised that a game where the twins could be brave warriors would become so horrifically real. (BTW, the only reason they didn't tell Elrond first was because they wanted to announce that they'd rescued her and surprise him.) | |