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| StarFire by Lindelea | 236 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| Connie | Reviewed Chapter: 9 on 4/24/2004 |
| I haven't reviewed on this one yet, but I figured now was the time. Keep the background part. It is a nice scene in and of itself, and it does help those who, by some strange twist of fate, don't know the other stories. I aspecially liked the idea images of how the three Travelers rebuilt their hobbity lives, to some degree anyway, compared to how Ferdi could be helped to rebuild his. Gee, I hope that made sense. I also really liked how you can tell that Pippin does feel terrible that his actions caused Ferdi to suffer the Ban. I also loved Sam's silent observation about a certain loyal Took. Good chapter. Connie. Author Reply: Thanks! You'll be happy to know that everyone's comments have persuaded my editor. The "background" remains part of the story. Yes, I think you're making sense. Of course, I'm short of sleep, so I'm not sure if anything I'm typing is making sense. Ha. Thanks for your comments. | |
| FantasyFan | Reviewed Chapter: 9 on 4/24/2004 |
| Well, yes, the first part of this story is 'background,' in the sense that it tells Ferdi's story rather than shows, and it probably isn't integral to the action of the present story. But really, if you want to have the story stand independently of the rest of the body of work, it is actually necessary information to understanding Ferdi's character. I've read many a book in a series, and all of them have that part of a chapter near the beginning where what has gone before is explained for readers who haven't read the others. Often I'll skim those parts before diving into the 'meat' of the story, and sometimes I'll examine them closely, to see how the author presents it differently this time after 28 other repetitions of essentially the same information. Even Tolkien does it in the Prologue to Fellowship, where he has a section On the Finding of the Ring, which is essentially a recap of The Hobbit. So unless your editor really expects to require that all your readers must get through 300,000 words (or probably more) you've previously written in this universe before starting this story, I bet she won't complain too much about a bit of background. Especially when it's as well written as this part is. You tell the information, but it's presented in a lovely domestic scene that speaks to the heart of what 'hobbity' really is (here you're showing rather than just telling). Plus there's a good dynamic among the Gamgee children, and a chance for Pippin to reflect on his role in Ferdi's banning. It seems a little jarring for Pippin to be so calm and matter-of-fact about his fault, expecially as this story is set early in his Thainship, but then maybe the kings game is making him focus, and a focused Pip is always deliberate and quieter. (I find it interesting that Pippin when angry, upset or about to fly in the face of hobbit convention always gets quieter. When his voice becomes soft, watch out! I'm sure it's in direct reaction to his father's bluster.) I notice Eglantine doesn't meet anyone's eyes as she lets the story come out, but Pippin does. The children decide to make Ferdi an honorary Uncle. Very characteristic of Sam's family, I think, to respond to a hobbit's need by deciding to give of themselves. I suppose were they a few years older, they'd have tried to marry him off as well. Ferdi truly doesn't have a chance against them. Author Reply: Ha, managed to hit the "Reply" rather than "Remove Review" link, so I'm doing remarkably well this morning. Sometimes I think my editor really does expect to require the readers to plough through the multitudinous words I've already written, since she's done it herself. *grin* I did try to make the background as brief and interesting as possible, without being too brief I hope (someone who missed "Flames" was still worried that Pippin was out of character, being responsible for Ferdi's shunning and not doing anything about it, but we've worked it out, though she had to read "Flames" before she was satisfied, I think). You're right about the Kings game, it makes Pippin focus and anchors him to the conversation at hand so that he's less likely to go off on side trails. He's distractable (how *do* you spell that?) and though he's learning to control it, and those near to him are used to it and accustomed to bringing him back to the discussion at hand, it is a part of his nature. I think it's a part of his brilliance as well, his ability to make leaps of logic and to strike out in a totally new direction. Don't know if that's what JRRT had in mind for the character, but that's how Pippin has evolved in my imaginings based in Tolkien's "world". Ah, just looked at the clock and it's time to get moving! Thanks for reviewing. | |
| Lyta Padfoot | Reviewed Chapter: 8 on 4/23/2004 |
| *Snickers* Ferdi doesn't ask for much, does he? His insight regarding Goldilocks and Faramir was wonderful, I imagine he saw a bit of himself and Pimpernel in that pair. | |
| FantasyFan | Reviewed Chapter: 8 on 4/23/2004 |
| WooT!(as my kids would say) Ferdi Rocks! That sharp mind of his keeps putting things together. He's matchmaking for a toddler (although a precocious and adorable toddler) and somewhere in the back of his head, he knows if Sam's not mayor, Goldi and Farry will never have a chance. I bet that's his prime motivation, not that Sam's been a good mayor and the Shire needs him. A good secondary motivation has to be that with a request like that, nobody will dare try to thank him again for anything. Pip won't dare, even if Ferdi wins the pony race for him, because he'd be rightly terrified of what Ferdi could think to ask him to do. I do love your witty hobbits! | |
| Lyta Padfoot | Reviewed Chapter: 7 on 4/20/2004 |
| *Laughing* Meadowsweet's day has certainly improved! She gets promoted, doubles her pay, gets time to marry her love, and even gets a little revenge on the cook! | |
| Lyta Padfoot | Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 4/18/2004 |
| The dying hobbit was more concerned with his family's future than his own impending end, very hobbity. The search for the deed was amusing, obviously the concept of an organized filing system is not one known to hobbits. Pippin and Ferdi were actually interacting, as friends and cousins, in that scene rather than two people happening to share the same physical space. So the healers do meet and warn one another about troublesome patients! How devious of them, but with Pippin forewarned is forearmed. Ferdi's sudden notice of Pippin's past injuries is very interesting considering that Ferdi spent months as Pippin's minder and shared quarters with him. But then I doubt he could have noticed since Pippin would have tried to hide the evidence of his past hurts. Author Reply: I certainly appreciate your taking time to comment. I wasn't sure if I would include this chapter or not... it supports a minor plot point that could get left out altogether. I don't know. I'm going to write it in and see where it goes, and if it doesn't work I can always take it out again. Thinking of the Mathom House, I thought there might not be an organised filing system amongst hobbits. I'm a "piler" myself, and can usually find things...unless someone moves my piles around, and then I'm lost. I can just imagine that clandestine healers' meeting, can't you? Cloaked figures in a shadowy corner, speaking in whispers. You're right, I had imagined that Pippin concealed evidence of his past hurts as well as he could, not wanting to grieve his relatives, most likely. Thanks again for reviewing. | |
| Lyta Padfoot | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 4/15/2004 |
| I can imagine Ferdi was looking pretty shabby with his economic difficulties and the mindset years of being thrifty impresses. The "ambush" encounter with the tailor was wonderful, reminded me of how I used to have to buy new stuff for certain of my boyfriends. Author Reply: You made me chuckle! Ambush tailoring, sounds like a trendy idea. Thanks for reviewing. | |
| Lyta Padfoot | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 4/15/2004 |
| Rose has a bit of the Took in her indeed! Author Reply: She does, indeed. Thanks for commenting. | |
| snowballjane | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 4/15/2004 |
| Such a perfectly hobbitish story! Your stories about Shire society are always a joy. Author Reply: Thank you for the kind words! So encouraging! | |
| Lyta Padfoot | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 4/13/2004 |
| Lovely chapter, but you make me curious to see Ferdi before the fire. As he is, he finds animals and children a comfort but has difficulties with adults - especially Thains. Looking forward to further chapters. Author Reply: You can now catch a glimpse of Ferdi before the fire in "Cousins and Other Nuisances" here on SoA. Enjoy! | |