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| Battles Won by daw the minstrel | 42 Review(s) |
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| tigerlily713 | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/8/2004 |
| This was so sweet. It was nice to have a first person story that gave us a bit more of a personal insight into Eilian's mind. Very well done! Author Reply: Glad you liked it, Tigerlily. I had fun exploring Eilian's mind a little more too. It became clear to me how much he needed Legolas's love, for instance. | |
| Antigone Q | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/8/2004 |
| I think what I liked best about this story was seeing Eilian's adar praising Eilian's playful nature, and seeing the positive side of it. It was also good to see, from Eilian's perspective, how he views people around him, and especially how much he loves his little brother. No family therapy needed in this story! Getting into Eilian's head was an interesting experience. He's been complemented by others about how perceptive he is about other people, but you can really see here how well he "reads" people - in the snowball fight, for example, when he guesses Legolas' feelings about Annael's Nana. Interestingly, I could also see some of his leadership qualities popping up (no pun intended) even in a silly thing like a snowball fight. But we also got to see what goes through his mind before one of those not-so-well thought out incidents: "I did not have time to consider my actions because..." Well, done Daw. For an experiment, it seems very successful. Are you going to write in first person again, or was this it? Author Reply: I think this was it for first person. I usually like to move around from person to person and see what's up in different parts of the kingdom. Actually, one unexpected outcome of the first person POV was that this family came out looking closer than they do from outside. Eilian just slid into a family role with long-term, unbreakable ties to his father and brothers, who plainly love him even when he drives them crazy. And ah yes, Eilian doesn't always consider his actions and I am afraid he thinks that ignoring his emotional tangles is a good way to deal with them. | |
| The Karenator | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/8/2004 |
| Wow, Daw, you're faster with posting whole stories than I am with writing a few paragraphs for a review. I really enjoyed this short tale from Eilian's perspective. Of course, I like first-person and the chance it gives us to delve into the private world of a character. Eilian is such an interesting character anyway. He's a complex but fun character from any view you wish to write him. My favorite part was where the two younger brothers pelted their Adar and older brother with the snowballs AND Gelmir was conspicuously absent. Gelmir is no fool. Let Eilian take the heat over this one. I also got a chuckle out of Gelmir jumping when Thranduil spoke to him. It was a sweet moment, but also a sad reminder of what these brothers had lost, when Legolas was distressed at the idea of throwing snowballs at Annael's nana. Eilian was very perceptive to catch that and give Annael's parents a 'pass'. You added such nice little touches to the tale. One of the best was when Gelmir reached up and caught Turgon's wrist to prevent him from hitting the tutor again. There were more, but I won't try to list them all. But, I just say one more thing on the subject: Ithilden laughed! The ending was very nice. A warm hug from Thranduil would make anyone's day I suspect, but for Eilian, it was a wonderful gift of love. You did an excellent job with this tale. It flowed smoothly and took the reader right into the action. Your experiment was a great success and I(one of the odd people who likes first-person) would love to see the perspectives of your other characters from first-person sometime. That is, should you ever be so inclined again. I truly enjoyed being in Eilian's head. By the way, what does he sleep in? No particular reason for asking. Just curious.:>) Karen Author Reply: Gelmir has turned into an amusing minor OC. I can see him as a friend for Eilian. He's compliant and doesn't object to an adventure but wouldn't think one up on his own probably. In other words, he's a follower, not a leader, and he enjoys having Eilian lead him into trouble. Legolas is just such a sweetie at this age. He has lost a lot but is fortunate to have a family that loves him deeply. I have to admit that I laughed to myself as I was writing this story, including about Gelmir grabbing Turgon's wrist. This chapter in particular is one I would have liked to watch people read to see if the laughed at the same times I did or maybe go excited when they realized who the potential "targets" were. And I could just picture big brother Ithilden grinding Eilian's face in the snow and laughing while he 's doing it. Brothers! As for what Eilian sleeps in, why, his bed of course! | |
| Sofia | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/8/2004 |
| Nice story. Its a new way of reading it like this from you, but i like it. On Eilian's point of view, its funny to read about the relationship between him and his younger brother. I love how Legolas and Eilian throw snowballs at their Adar and other brother. and then they attack them. verry good... :) Author Reply: Thank you, Sofia. I love writing about family dynamics and you see that in this story. Legolas and Eilian need one another and I think that Thranduil knows it. And my own characters surprised me when Thranduil and Ithilden joined in the snowball fight. I could just see all these adult male warriors rising to the challenge of a fight, even if it was with snowballs. They were all once elflings themselves! | |
| LKK | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/8/2004 |
| What a fun afternoon everyone had, daw! I wish I could have been there playing with them. I liked the indirect references to Heart's Ease and Legolas' secret crush on Annael's mother. That was nicely worked in. I thought it was cute how Legolas went after Eilian's "nemesis" because that's what brothers are for. (Along with an oh-so delightful head pat, too!) How wonderful that Ada and Ithilien joined in on the play at the end of the afternoon. A beautiful family moment. I loved this little story. It's going on my favorites list. LKK Author Reply: Ada and Ithilden surprised me when they picked up snowballs and stormed the tunnels, but I was so glad that this family could play together and laugh after suffering the loss of their wife and mother. I think even the tutor and novice master must have been glad to see Legolas having a good time. In a community this small, they would all know what was happening. And Eilian and Legolas seemed to really be close here, despite the difference in their ages. They *need* one another. Thank you for the review, LKK. | |
| esamen | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/8/2004 |
| Adar took Legolas’s hand. “Come, my heart, we will get you home and into dry clothes and see if we can find you something hot to drink in front of the fire.” Hand in hand, the two of them started toward the path, with Adar shortening his usual long stride and Legolas skipped happily along beside him. Hey, I really needed a good dose of Elf-love today . . . what a wonderful story. I am just fascinated by the relationships between the brothers and between the brothers and father. It's just always great. I am looking forward to a little more fire and brimstone from Adar, though. That stuff is fun to read too. I plan to eventually read all the stories that you have posted . . . so much to read, so little time. I think that the first-person POV is very good for getting into the deep emotions of a character, the things that a character wouldn't express even to himself. I think that it is also a good way to make sure that a complicated story stays unified for the reader. An intimate third-person POV can do much the same thing, though, especially in a shorter read such as this. It depends on what you want to do -- explore one person deeply, or show a story from two or three characters' viewpoints. You did a fine job with the first person POV. This is what fan fic is for, I think . . . experimenting with forms and just trying them on for size. Thanks for the story! Esamen Author Reply: Thank you, Esamen. I am planning to go back to using third person again, although this was fun. And I found that using first person here made this family seem closer than they usually do when seen from the outside. I didn't expect that when I started. daw | |
| Miss Aranel | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/8/2004 |
| Very sweet story, Daw - the new take on POV was great, especially since we get to see a side of Eilian that might get overlooked otherwise. The snow tunnels were especially amusing - my sisters and I never even considered that - it must have been great fun for the elflings. I really enjoyed the part where Thranduil and Ithilden joined in with the fun - and the sentiment at the end. Author Reply: I never made snow tunnels either, but Nilmandra did and I got the idea from her. Thranduil and Ithilden suprised me when they joined in, but then I really liked the image of the whole family playing together. Thanks for the review, Miss A. daw | |
| sheraiah | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/8/2004 |
| Oh, daw! I have missed elfling Legolas so much, thank you for this return to him. What a sweet, sweet story! Author Reply: Thank you, Sheraiah. I missed the elfing too. I'm proud of the warrior and sympathetic to the adolescent, but the little one is so sweet and innocent that it's hard to believe he wasn't spoiled. Good thing Thranduil is tougher than I am. | |
| Dragon-of-the-North | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/8/2004 |
| This will be short, as I am in a hurry, but - this was absolutely lovely! :-D You did a wonderful job, and I laughed very hard at seeing Legolas' attack on Maldor through Eilian's eyes... That was absolutely hilarious. But I also loved the sweet family part of this chapter - seeing Thranduil get all playful and happy is always a treat, and I simply loved to see Ithilden grinning maniacally.... And, again - Eilian's POV is glorious! There's hardly anything better than getting a glimpse of your world through his eyes... Hmmm.... Will we get a longer Eilian story? Pretty please? ;-):-) Author Reply: Thranduil and his sons needed to play and have fun after their loss, and I am proud of Adar for recognizing it. He was happiest for Legolas, I think, but Eilian is his child too and I'm sure he rejoiced in his lightheartedness. I have to admit I enjoyed writing Ithilden's gleeful attack on Eilian. He just seemed like such an older brother to me. Eilian is so much fun to write about that he will certainly be around in other stories. And I still have to get him and Celuwen together after all. | |
| French Pony | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/8/2004 |
| Now that was the Snowballing of Snowballings! What a great game. Miriwen and her little friend are just getting it from all sides, I see. Mud or snow, they can't win. And the final Oropherion family brawl was clearly something that has needed to happen for a long time. I always knew Ada had it in him, and of course Ithilden has his dominance to reassert. Oldest siblings are like that, and I should know. I gotta say, Maldor does not seem like someone who should be in a teaching position. He has some serious anger issues to work out, and while warrioring in general is probably his calling, teaching is not. I know that he is teaching serious combat, but he's a danger to the novices if he goes around breaking noses. For one thing, he's bigger than they are, and he doesn't seem to understand that they can't hit him back like that. I've known a couple of maestri who were vicious like Maldor, and they were just horrible. One was a recovering alcoholic who kept his job because no one else wanted it -- the only reason his team had any shreds of discipline whatsoever was because his older fencers did most of the scut work of teaching the novices. The other guy blew off actual teaching in favor of extended lectures and mockery of fencers who made mistakes, and once whipped me so hard I got a bruise on my thigh as big as my palm. His students either quit fencing altogether or left him after finding other clubs willing to train them out of the viciousness they acquired from him. I would not trust either of these two maestri to turn out warriors capable of protecting the Woodland Realm, and they seem very much like Maldor. He deserved every bit of that snowball, and more. The attacking team worked wonderfully well together, especially when it came to the issue of whether or not to snowball nanas. Elowen will never know just how lucky she was. . . What a fun chapter! Author Reply: Thranduil's family needed to play and I absolutely rejoiced at the moment when Ithilden and Thranduil surprised me by joining in the fun. I'll bet Legolas loved it and remembers it for a long time. I have ambivalent feelings about Maldor. In some ways, I agree with Eilian and you: he should not be teaching. But when I write about him directly, I make myself see his point of view and then I lose my clear certainty. | |