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| Freedom From Fear by Fionnabhair Nic Aillil | 23 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| French Pony | Reviewed Chapter: 19 on 5/30/2004 |
| Goodbye, Théodred! You will be missed. But Éowyn gets to ride outside at last. You did a pretty good job blending in the movie scenes. If you must re-narrate those scenes, it is best to do them as a minimum of description only, as you did. In further chapters, I would urge you to look into comma placement; you have quite a few run-on clauses that want commas. | |
| French Pony | Reviewed Chapter: 18 on 5/24/2004 |
| "Men have said many things Hala Grima, but the saying did not make them true." Yes indeedy, truer words have rarely been spoken. That one's right up there with "It won't get better if you pick at it." It's interesting -- Grima seems to be fairly active in his pursuit of Éowyn, far more active than I had previously imagined. He's an evil little bugger, and no mistake, but somehow I always saw him as skulking around and never saying anything directly. But this way is fun, too. He has a certain Dick Cheney-ness about him that's deliciously evil. At least, in stories. It isn't so much fun to have such a one leading us in real life. Author Reply: LOL I suppose with Grima it's a case of all power corrupts, absolute power corrupts absolutely. His position has become so strong that he feels confident in doing anything he wishes - and he knows that Éowyn won't talk about it. Actually now that I think of it maybe that explains Cheney too - it's good to hear that I've captured a real sense of evil! | |
| BKB | Reviewed Chapter: 17 on 5/20/2004 |
| The winning point goes to Eowyn on the return. She makes a fine and proper distinction between herself and Grima in emphasizing the difference between two definitions of "love", the physical sense and affection. Author Reply: That's exactly what I was aiming for. The problem of course is that while she wins the argument on points, Grima wins the war, because she begins to believe that all non-familial love is the kind of repulsive lust he feels. Which it isn't - at least not in the case of Elfhelm. | |
| French Pony | Reviewed Chapter: 16 on 5/9/2004 |
| You write claustrophobia so well. The walls of Éowyn's world are closing in slowly but surely, and Grima is sitting untouchably at the center of it all. The one formatting suggestion I have is that you make sure that you begin a new paragraph every time you have a new speaker. Sometimes when you're in the middle of a conversation, you let two speakers run together into the same paragraph, and it gets a little confusing. | |
| Kristy | Reviewed Chapter: 15 on 5/7/2004 |
| Ahhh. I swear I can feel Eowyn's frustration and feelings of being trapped pouring out of the computer. And it gets worse (or better) every chapter. Please keep writing and put me out of my misery! You're doing a wonderful job with this! Author Reply: I warm you it gets worse before it gets better! (But it will get better - eventually!) I hope I don't drive you to distraction before this is over! At present there are nine chapters to go - so I hope to have them all up within a month (exams are coming unfortunately) I hope you can wait that long. | |
| Chibi-Kaz | Reviewed Chapter: 15 on 5/7/2004 |
| Ever brilliant as usual. She is become less of an escapist, I see, and therefore more frustrated. Does the book of maps lie forgotten on her shelf? Does she still dream of moon lands? :D --Cheers, --Chibi-Kaz Author Reply: Well not dream exactly, but, well you'll see! You're right though - Éowyn giving up her dreams is part of her gradual slip into despair - she has lost any belief that her life can change, and so she has lost the ability to hope for something better. | |
| BKB | Reviewed Chapter: 15 on 5/6/2004 |
| I think that your set of stories are just about the "Eowyn fiction" that I've read at the several sites that I visit periodically. Keep up the good work! | |
| French Pony | Reviewed Chapter: 14 on 5/5/2004 |
| Ooo, I do like this! I read it all at one go just now, and I was sorely disappointed when there was no more left. I love the way you have Grima slowly worming his way into Meduseld -- it's so subtle, you can see it but the characters can't. Éowyn is slowly growing more mature, and Edoras is slowly rotting from the inside out. Very nicely managed, and very real. Author Reply: Well I can't say how flattered I am! I've read your stories, so I'm just really glad you've liked mine! (The Dragon of Rohan is a particular favourite of mine) Thank you so much, and I'll try to keep you satisfied as I continue! | |
| Layangabi | Reviewed Chapter: 13 on 5/1/2004 |
| Friend, so far this is a very well-written tale and I look foward to reading more...but I feel obliged to point out: Theodred had just addressed Theoden, his *father,* as his uncle. Théodred cleared his throat and said, “Uncle what is your mind?” | |
| Chibi-Kaz | Reviewed Chapter: 12 on 4/29/2004 |
| ROTFLMAO! Diancecht of the DeDanaans as an APPRENTICE? The gaelic god of healing reduced to such ignomy! I'm still snickering imagining his expression. Diancecht also replaced the severed arm of Nuada-Righ with one of silver, perfectly articulated and responsive, thus earning Nuada the name Nuada Silver-Hand, and creating the first artificial limb known to Man. *wink* Please, no Lugh Lamfada - the original Gary-Stu! *wink* *grin* You want frustrating Chronicles, try the Russian Primary or the Novgorod. Oyvey! Though the Novgorod Chronicle apparantly details the flight of a dragon over the city one day! This story is excellent. I find that the develpment of Eowyn in your story leads inexorably to the person we meet in The Two Towers, and that is the sign of thorough character-analysis, which I respect greatly. The detail is excellent, and unlike most fanfic authors, you display a firm grasp of both descriptive prose and dialog. I'm attentively awaiting the next chapter! Cheers, Chibi-Kaz Author Reply: The only chronicle I've got much experience with is a German one dealing with that describes various rebellions and inheritances and such like. At one point it stops for five years, and when the writing starts again an entirely different dynasty is in power! Yet the chronicler doesn't seem to see the change as even worthy of comment. There's also an English one I was told about where there is a gap of twenty years - and in the intervening time Old English apparently changed to Middle English; not that anyone noticed. Lugh Lamhfháda - now you're just giving me ideas! However, tempting though it is, I promise not to include him. I have some evidence that the Anglo-Saxons had heard of Diancecht (I didn't realise how irreverent I was being!), which I don't think I could really argue that for Lugh. (Though Éomer would make a great Cuchulainn!) | |