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|A Perilous Journey to Lorien by LadyJaina||40 Review(s)|
|demeter d||Reviewed Chapter: 16 on 10/25/2023|
|So, we shift to Sam's point of view. Ain returns, and the news is not so good. I am sure that Caras Galadhon is still busy doing their own fighting, so will not be of much help yet. And oh, never underestimate the older cousin. It seems that even the elves and Boromir respect Frodo's determination! Then we arrive at the other camp, and it is as bad as had been said. Again, though, Merry proves why he was "meant" to be there. Even Estel has lost "Estel", hope, but the Hobbits have not! Sam's constant foresight and preparation for any future need ensured that there is Athelas to use. And Boromir hears an elf say "the hands of the King", and gains an increased respect for Aragorn. And now, there is indeed hope!|
|Al||Reviewed Chapter: 15 on 10/11/2023|
|I love this story! Please, please, keep going!|
|cellar-door||Reviewed Chapter: 17 on 10/9/2023|
|What a treat to log in and find a new chapter! Very beautiful, love the description of the sea and its peace. Can't wait for the next chapter!|
|mystarlight||Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 9/4/2022|
|periannore||Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 5/31/2022|
|This chapter begins with your apt characterization of Legolas acting his elvish age, being impulsive like Pippin. What would thranduil say about his son deliberately making himself a target with 5 enemies and three arrows? |
Later you refer to the uninjured Legolas's merriment. Tolkien established the elves Merriment early on. I was sorry he didn't work it more into the dialogue as the trilogy continued instead of leaving most of the levity to the hobbits. When I have these thoughts I feel even more compassion for Tolkien who wished he could have made the trilogy way, way, longer.
You use Tolkien's setting as you quoted it as a springboard and augmented it with phrases like: Young birches grew sparsely and Legolas used them like great walking staffs, letting them brace him as he made his way down., which allow us to visualize the setting in more detail. Nice writing.
Legolas's world of hurt is just beginning. In this chapter it's reassuring that Gimli, Aragorn and Boromir show such sincere concern for him.
You are so patient to research your story so thoroughly.
|periannore||Reviewed Chapter: 14 on 5/31/2022|
|No matter how absorbed you must be in bringing your own story to life you continually link it to its source, to Tolkien. It may seem obvious but it still pleased me so much when you wrote: a scout of galadhrim creeping up on the perimeter, silent and deadly. Their gray cloaks made them almost invisible in the darkness and rain. Those cloaks would be like the ones the fellowship was given before setting out from Lorien and the near invisibility they provided would be a little like the invisibility from using the ring but without the dangers it imposed on the user. |
I could feel Aragorn's dread when he spotted Merry's knife/sword: The blade was covered in black blood. It was Merry's—he would recognize it anywhere. He swallowed bile, almost afraid to look... and it did not bode well that Merry's only weapon was no longer on his person. You sound so Tolkienish with words like it did not bode well that Merry's only weapon was not on his person. Your writing is so well thought out that there's more than one thing to say about a single sentence.
The little exchange: "I think he's still in a bit of shock," Gimli rumbled quietly.
"He can hear you," Merry retorted testily, was a nice touch of Gimli, Aragorn and Merry being the characters we feel so fannishly attached to, a welcome break from the ravages of the battle.
The way your characters cooperate without bickering is a beautiful thing making them seem like beings you'd want to know. Not for them the "Not my job." heard in many of our work places. For example the elves came to the fireside and some lit torches and so many more helped lift the warg that they removed it in one go. To be fair they've had centuries to practice assessing what needs to be done and smoothly pitching in. On the other hand, Aragorn, having had only one lifetime to practice pre, during and post battle organization is barking orders, not in a mean way, just worried and overwhelmed, when: he unclenched hands he hadn't realized had been fisted and looked over at Foendil. "He is not the first ailing elf we've tended, Estel…we will take care of him now. Go see to your friends." It was a nice way of telling Aragorn the situation was well in hand.
In common with Tolkien your writing makes me think, Not a fantasy. This is history, they were all real and all of it really happened that way."
|periannore||Reviewed Chapter: 15 on 5/29/2022|
|You described washing off in the cold river so well I had to go get a sweater. |
I'm so impressed with your description of Gimli's fair mindedness regarding the elves. Among dwarves it would be easy to take the general dislike of elves for granted, but having to spend time with elves Gimli is having difficulty maintaining the traditional low opinion of them: Gimli found himself begrudgingly admiring elven efficiency, so tired that he couldn't come up with a single critique.
The group is preparing to travel again and I feel particularly sorry for Merry who is realizing that overcoming the enemy in the last battle in which his part was so urgent and dangerous might have only gained them a day's respite before they could be threatened with an even larger attack. Poor, battle weary Merry. I'm not sure he can still think of himself in "an adventure". The injuries, wet, cold, worry and danger are so much to bear! He was so determined to have kept up for that long day's march.
If I were to name this chapter I'd call it, the slog. The subtitle would be, Elves Behaving Badly! The elves who want to be rid of Gimli haven't had as much exposure to dwarves as Gimli has had with elves so I guess they can't be expected to change a prejudice of centuries so quickly. This vacillation between acceptance and rejection has to be emotionally draining for Gimli. I'm so glad he has Aragorn and Merry for moral support and that he sees that some elves champion his nobility.
I can't wait to read where they'll go from here and Legolas is rattling. Do something!
|demeter d||Reviewed Chapter: 15 on 5/19/2022|
|Someone speculated as to why there are not more reviewers here. Waning interest may be a factor. For myself, tho. When I first found SOA in 2005, I did not read very many long, many chapter stories, in an attempt to not spend too much time on the internet. I have as busy a life now as then, but I do allow myself more time here, now. Well, then. The chapter starts with a general observation, then narrows to how far the water comes up on Gimli. Then comments about how it is for Merry and Aragorn remind us of their relative sizes. Orophin's willing treatment of Gimli's hand, and stout defense of Gimli's worthiness to enter their land reminded me of yet another older story thread. In author Sheraiah's 2006 story "Babe in the Woods", Gimli and Legolas find a newborn human child in the woods near Lothlorien during one of their after Ring War journeys. They join with a family attempting to escape from the clutches of the tyrannical village headman who caused the baby to be abandoned. On the way they are followed and attacked by the evil man's henchmen. After a fight, they are rescued by forces from both Lorien and the Greenwood led by Haldir. At one point during the patching up, one of the elven healers tells Haldir he deserves a reward for stitching Gimli's head. Haldir tells him neh, it is your job, and THAT DWARF CARRIES THE LADY'S FAVOR!" It is nice that some begin to see Gimli's value. Now. In the book, the borders of Lorien were attacked even after the Fellowship entered the wood. We have only been watching this group for a time. Besides Pippin's unplanned dunk in the river, we have no idea what other perils you may have written for the other parties in the tale. There may be good reason why they have been too busy to help just yet!|
|Janvpals||Reviewed Chapter: 11 on 5/17/2022|
|loved the geography discussion at the end. so grateful to you for putting in the geographical thinking work! also this is constantly keeping me on the edge. so fun to read!|
Author Reply: Thank you for reviewing again! Tolkien geography is sooo rich and fun!
|Janvpals||Reviewed Chapter: 10 on 5/17/2022|
|I'm going to list out the things I loved from this chapter.|
1) Aragorn swearing. I just loved it for some reason, though I think he would not swear out of anything save desperation (and you did just that!).
2) Merry standing up for himself and for Gimli. Like the fellowship has become so close now! I love reading about how the fellowship has become like a family.
3) Healer!Aragorn. Please. Please this is SO CUTE OMG im cryinggg
4) Aragorn crying while healing Legolas. Like OH MY GODS the feels. The sheer FEELS.
5) Your names of the elves! I loved them too aha. I just love all the elvish names. And your incorporation of sindarin again!
Author Reply: I should preface this reply by saying that chapter 10 is my absolute favorite! I wrote the entire story with it in mind.
1) Yesssss. The swearing! I don’t generally see Aragorn as a swearer, but it just fit! I literally couldn’t think of anything else he’d realistically say!
2) I love Merry. He’s so fun to write!
3) See original reply lol.
4) YES! So glad I captured some feels.
5) I did do a smidge of research into Elven names. I don’t remember if I included it, but Foendil means “long sighted one” and Turon “master or victory”. Ain, who isn’t named until later is “same or identical” with the thought that she might have been an unexpected twin.