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Old Forest  by mpfan 2 Review(s)
ElrawienReviewed Chapter: 1 on 9/23/2003
Awww!!! I like that story so far, mp!!! It's sweet to see a glimpse of what Merry might have been like when he was just a wee Hobbit lad. I like the connection between Merry and Saradoc, and I can just imagine how Merry might ask about exciting and dangerous things that had happened before his time. This reminds me a lot of part of HoMe, where Sam is telling stories to his children. ;)

The only suggestion I have at the moment is to make this line more clear:

'Saradoc shook his head.  Saying those words were like adding wood to the fire with Merry.  He had hoped his Brandybuck blood would balance out his Took blood, but so far it hadn't seemed to have happened. '

I think you mean that Saradoc can see the Took in Merry, but it could be taken that Merry is thinking this; however, as just a lad, I don't really think he would consider it in such a way.

Keep up the good work!!! I can't wait to read the rest!!! :-*

MysteriousWaysReviewed Chapter: 1 on 9/14/2003
Nice little story I like it. Great portrayal of Saradoc and little Merry.

MysteriousWays

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