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| Don't Explain by Gwidhiel | 14 Review(s) |
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| Denise | Reviewed Chapter: 14 on 5/17/2008 |
| You brought out the oddness/unnaturalness of Indis' love very well with Miriel's dramatic reaction. It is quite the contrast to her earlier observation: "I observed your love for Finwë shining in your eyes, and I knew that such love was impossible unless Eru had deemed it good." The perverseness is solely in Indis loving Finwe while Miriel was alive, then? I think you also did a good job of bringing out Finwe's suffering as a result of his mistaken understanding. The conversation between Indis and Miriel continues to be great. I particularly appreciate how Indis is still fumbling a bit, having only recently realized her own guilt; and how this is contrasted to Miriel's calm (first) and then her impatience (later) - but then she's had millennia to think over her own complicity. Thank goodness for Ahyalo's calm reasoning! And I still love the little touches, like Ahyalo and Indis once meeting long before. I think your pacing feels just right. I haven't gone back and reread everything from the beginning, but I don't recall ever feeling like things were going too slow or too fast. Indis is making a very hard, very shocking journey of self-discovery here, and the process has felt spot-on. I can't wait for the next step! Author Reply: Hi Denise, It's nice to be able to reply to your review here! Yes, as I see it, the problem with Indis's love for Finwë is that she loved him despite a) the fact that she didn't really even know him (as Míriel points out), and b) the fact that he was already married. The latter is problematic given what we know about love and marriage from LaCE; regardless of whether or not she knew Finwë well, Indis's enduring love for Finwë (which kept her apart from any other possible mate) should have been, well, unthinkable. And since Indis didn't even know Finwë, she really should have questioned what was causing her to feel so strongly about him. I'm glad the pacing and developments seem to work. This conversation between Indis and Míriel was my main purpose in writing this story. I think that Indis's story and journey of self-discovery will continue beyond what will happen in this story... | |
| Redheredh | Reviewed Chapter: 14 on 5/15/2008 |
| Very interesting continuation of their conversation. I like the balancing out of motives and events. It is almost as if the two ladies had expired and met in Mandos as fear to resolve their concerns before going back to the living. A similar cleansing before being reborn anew, it seems to me. Well done. Author Reply: Hi Redheredh, Thank you very much for your review! I'm definitely aiming for healing with this story, although what that healing might bring apart from itself, vis a vis a return to life remains to be seen. Míriel doesn't seem to seek any change for her situation, and Indis of course never left life. This conversation was the whole purpose of the story, and I've got one more chapter left to write ... but I'm not entirely sure yet where it will leave Indis, who has achieved a much better understanding of herself, but is still without her husband and some of her children and grandchildren. Maybe, at least, she'll find it easier to live with. I have a lot more sympathy for her now than I started with! Thanks again for reviewing! | |
| Nilmandra | Reviewed Chapter: 14 on 5/14/2008 |
| Good that Miriel and Indis both see their part in this unhappy circumstance, and learn that self-honesty is where healing begins. An honest assessment of others is also important, as they seem to recognize as they consider Finwe and Feanaro. Author Reply: Hi Nilmandra, Thanks! This is indeed meant to focus on healing, which is often difficult when there is more than one "truth" involved. In this chapter in particular I wanted to make sure that Finwë wasn't painted too black, since he was getting lots of blame in earlier chapters. | |
| Nilmandra | Reviewed Chapter: 13 on 5/14/2008 |
| I like your reasoning here of Miriel's reasoning - it makes sense and provides understanding that fits what we see later in the deeds and words of Finwe, Feanaro and others. Author Reply: Thanks, Nilmandra! This was my main purpose when I set out to write this story. I don't know why it had to take me 13 chapters to get here ... but I'm very pleased to know that it makes sense and foreshadows what Finwë and Fëanáro went on to do after Míriel's passing. | |
| Redheredh | Reviewed Chapter: 13 on 5/6/2008 |
| I just wanted to let you know I have finally finished reading what has led up to this conversation between Indis and Miriel and am not disappointed at all with the explanation of Miriel's withdrawal from life. I like that you made her a quiet woman, who is not afflicted by maddness or fey. There is plenty drama enough with Finwe's manic behaviour without that. ;) Peace of mind is the appealing thread you have woven in throughout this well told story. Author Reply: Hi, Redheredh, Thanks very much for your review! I'm very glad to hear that my explanation of Míriel's choice made sense. | |
| Alassiel | Reviewed Chapter: 12 on 5/5/2008 |
| Greetings Gwidhiel, Some years ago, a friend read me both Athrabeth Finrod ah Andreth and Laws and Customs Among the Eldar. Both of these texts immediately became my favorites among Tolkien's writings. It is a great pleasure to read a tale which so eloquently describes the situation in the House of Finwë. The characters are well-developed and the psychological implications of the situation are brilliantly set forth. I hope you will soon let us hear the end of the tale. Blessings, Alassiel Author Reply: Hi, Alassiel, I'm with you about Athrabeth! I'm very pleased to know that you're finding the story compelling; I have worried a bit because it is very much about the internal lives of its characters, with little action, so I don't want to let anyone drone on too much. I'm trying to finish it soon! Thanks for your review! | |
| Edlyn | Reviewed Chapter: 12 on 5/5/2008 |
| I wonder that I never had come across this story before because it is absolutely wonderful. I love that you have made Indis a three-dimensional character that I can sympathise with rather than having her just remain a name on a family tree in the back of a book. The family dynamics and the exploration of forgiveness, maturation, honesty with one's self and responsibility are excellently drawn. I look forward to reading the next chapter very much. Edlyn Author Reply: Hi, Edlyn, Thanks very much! I just posted this story, in fact I still have a bit more to write before the story will be complete. I'm so pleased to hear that you find the family dynamics believable. This is the first time I've ever written any fiction (besides some bad high school assignments, loooooong ago), and hearing from people has been very gratifying. Thanks again for reviewing! | |
| daw the minstrel | Reviewed Chapter: 7 on 5/5/2008 |
| Now that's a shocker for Indis! Seriously, I think Tolkien made up some of this stuff as he went along and had to patch together an explanation for this marriage. What do you make of Elven memory? Is it so perfect, they'd remember what a garden looked like several thousand years ago? I know their long memories can be a burden to them, but I'd always thought that was because of all the suffering and change they'd seen, not necessarily the details. I can hardly remember in detail something I saw 10 years ago, but then, I'm not an elf. Author Reply: I totally agree about Tolkien having to patch together an explanation of how the 2nd marriage came about. It shouldn't have been allowed, according to his rules, and while he came up with an explanation about how one exception was allowed, I always found it curious that he didn't seem to think that Indis should have been ... chastised? ... for loving Finwë even when he was wed to another. I don't think he thought this through very well, as with a lot of his story developments involving women. As for Elven memory, when I was imagining them in the garden, I was imagining that what was surprised was what is sometimes called "procedural memory" -- not fully conscious memory of how to get from A to B in a place you've been before, for example. Like, if you visited a hotel years ago and stayed for 2 nights, and then visit it again, you probably will have a sense of where the hotel restaurant, elevator banks, etc. are in relation to each other, even if you're not consciously thinking about it. If they renovated in the meantime, your inclination to bear right when coming out of the elevator might yield unexpected results. I'm not in the camp that Elves have picture-perfect memories covering the whole of their existence. | |
| daw the minstrel | Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 5/5/2008 |
| How terribly sad. Feanor must have felt so alone. And the picture of him making paper butterflies for his sister was utterly charming. | |
| Ellie | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 5/5/2008 |
| YAY!! I'm so glad to see this story posted here. I've been enjoying it immensely at Sil Writers. It is always good to find any story about Indis and it's a real treat to find one so well written. Just a suggestion, please put the chapter numbers at the beginning of each chapter so that folks like me who print now to read later don't get so confused if we drop said stack of printed story chapters anf have to put them all back in order again :-) Looking forward to reading more chapters! Author Reply: Thanks for suggesting SoA to me, Ellie! I didn't realize that the chapter numbers don't appear with the title. I've inserted them as part of the title text, so that should take care of it. Thanks so much for reading, and sharing your feedback with me! | |