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The Seeds of Time  by daw the minstrel 23 Review(s)
perellethReviewed Chapter: 6 on 4/2/2007
I thnk that of all the versions that you have written of these three (or their substitutes) floundering on a makeshift or ruinous boat, this one is the best. I can feel the cold, and the conflicting feelings, Turgnon seeing it as a new adventure, Annael scared to tears and poor LEgolas in the middle. It was paingful, and laborious and dangerous, and while still in such short, almost snapped sentences, you keep the tension with very good and clear descriptions of waht is going on through the feelings. Giving the river a personality in LEgolas´eyes " it did not want him" was a masterful touch.

The rest of the chapter is great, of course, with the tension, and LOrellin's feeling that something was going on and Eilian and THrnaduil's reactions... NOw I have a question that has been nagging for some time. WHere, when and how (these are three questions, I fear) did Eilian learn to be such a god scout? I mean, it is such a good talent of his, and being such a restless and impatient boy I could not help wondering, from time to time, who took the time and dedication to teach him to be so observant, attentive and patient, as a good scout must needs be. Someone must have seen thrpugh the restless boy and devoted time to teach him how to listen and look for clues, if not to people, then at least to the forest... IS there a tale somewhere?

Author Reply: Thank you so much for that comment about this version of the boys-on-boats story. I'd just been reading advice about stretching the tension in a story, which jibed in my head with my beta's advice not to rush (which is always my tendency), so I was practicing here. Slowly, slowly, we get better.

Hm. Eilian and scouting. I've always thought of it as coming from a connection to the forest that's deeper even that than of other wood elves because he's the king's son. But you're right that somewhere he learned too. I've never thought about it. There's a tale somewhere, I guess, but it's not written yet. :-)

pipinheartReviewed Chapter: 6 on 4/2/2007
Very nice...It keeps you hanging...

Legolas and friends are not in a very ghood situation, and Turgon's nana dosen't keep a good eye on them.

Eilian found them, but will he be able to get back to them without harm to himself or them...Can't wait to find out...

Update soon...

Author Reply: Legolas and his friends are in a bad situation indeed. It's a good thing there's a brave big brother. I'm working on how the rescue might happen. It's tricky. :-)

DotReviewed Chapter: 6 on 4/2/2007
The tension in this chapter is heart-stopping. I spent a lot of time holding my breath! And making “little squeaky noises” right along with poor little Annael…

I love Turgon. He’s so energetic and brave and spirited and imaginative. He may not really know what’ll happen and is as frightened as the other two (I like how Legolas is surprised at that) but whether he realises it or not I’m sure his determination helped focus them. "Swim, otter friends!" How do you come up with these things?? That’s fantastic.

It was a really interesting experience being in Legolas’ head for this. He has his own way of working everything out but I was getting really impatient because as an adult I just wanted him to look around and see if there was any way they could get out of this – I don’t think he heard me yelling at him, though ;-) Turgon kept his head well enough. As I recall, he does the same when their raft is wrecked a good few years down the line.

The little exchange between Lorellin and the trees is just lovely! Gorgeous. I’m feeling bad for Mírdaniel. Where’s that husband of hers when the bed needs to be put together? Off writing a song, I suppose.

Thank goodness Eilian stumbled across the frightened Naneths. I like Amadith, by the way. I wonder, though, if she’s discovering that life with Eilian can be a little too exciting sometimes. I do love seeing Eilian take control. And Thranduil too :-)

I wanted to smack Eilian (sorry) when he started to blame himself for not knowing his baby brother was there. I sincerely hope the lesson he learns from this is that you can’t predict what kids will do and not that he did anything wrong. *scowls*

Eilian’s hunt for the elflings was incredibly tense. I was worn out waiting for a break that wasn’t coming! Although wet, half naked and heroic Eilian did help… I liked hearing his thought processes – it was still terrifying but somehow made the situation more manageable than if he’d been feeling blind panic.

"We broke your boat." Annael's brow was wrinkled. "We are sorry.” Aaaw! That’s so Annael.

"These things happen." LOL! Sure they do. If you’re Eilian or Turgon at any rate.

I think Eilian probably made the right decision to go, even though I hate the thought of the elflings being left alone. But he knew what probably happened and still had trouble finding them. Plus, there are all sorts of thoughts that could go through Ithilden’s and Thranduil’s heads when they see his clothes.

"We will be sleeping puppy friends and stay all in a heap." Gosh I love little Turgon. He's so affectionate and his imagination really does help him cope with anything. Poor kid. I suppose it would have to.

What a scary chapter. Please tell me they’re going to stay put!

Author Reply: I'm glad this was tense. It's so odd because I never can tell if a chapter will seem that way to readers. By the time I'm done writing it, all I see is what I've struggled with.

Turgon is so sweet I can't stand it. Poor baby. I want to smack his parents. He has the potential to be such a nice little guy if he has some guidance. Instead he has to use his own judgment and that's not always so hot.

I must admit take-charge Eilian and especially take-charge Thranduil were very appealing to me too. Does that say something odd about our psyches? :-)

obsidianjReviewed Chapter: 6 on 4/2/2007
Phew! Eilian found them. But still the danger is not over, since Eilian neglected to tell anyone where he would go. Poor Lorellin now has two of her sons in danger, since Eilian is not on safe ground just yet.

Is Turgon always living in his fantasy land? I think it is his way of coping with a less than desirable reality. I love it how he turns each new development into some kind of role playing game, first playing sailor than being an otter... So, Eilian can't stay with them, then he will play puppy litter. That way he doesn't have to think about the consequences of being left in this dangerous place. Legolas and Annael have a much better grasp of reality, which doesn't help them in this place.

Author Reply: When I was planning this chapter, I really debated Eilian's actions. Would he get help, go himself, tell someone, leave them after he found them? I finally decided he'd react to the urgency of his mother's feelings and his own need for action and just dive in. Poor guy. I don't think there were any good choices and, as you say, he and the elflings still aren't safe.

I love poor Turgon. Not that I'd want him playing with my kid, mind you.

The KarenatorReviewed Chapter: 6 on 4/2/2007
I'm going to get this review done today if it's the only thing I get done. If I don't, you'll have another chapter up and I'll be even further behind!

I love this story. The guys are adorable, if not a tad mischievous. Turgon is a riot. He's so imaginative. Nothing seems to daunt his enthusiasm for making the best of any situation. He's a sailor, an otter, a puppy! Whatever it takes for him to manage his way through every bump in the road, he invents it. I think we need Lucy to explain the depth you've given this little guy, but he's come up with some inventive coping mechanisms for having inattentive parents. Of course, some of it is simply who he is, but I imagine he's spent a lot of time entertaining himself. I can't help but like him. He doesn't mean any harm. There's no malice in anything he does. He's just delighted with all the possibilities of life.

Unfortunately, he has few boundaries. He's an extreme version of Eilian in a lot of ways. Eilian's reins were held by strong hands or he might have been a Turgon. But they're kindred souls, though motivated by different stimuli. Think that might be why Legolas is so attracted to Turgon? Or am I way off base?

Okay, not to be shallow, but let's be shallow. Wet! Eilian in wet leggings. 'Nuff said.

I think my favorite scene was when Lorellin burst into the Great Hall. Thranduil certainly knew immediately something bad was up. Then Thranduil went all kingly giving orders. That was as good as Wet! Eilian.

I can't wait to see what happens next. This is a really engaging story. I'm glad we're getting an opportunity to see Lorellin alive and as herself. All we've known about her for the most part is what the men in her life remember about her after her death. As we all know, remembering someone post death is not always exactly accurate. It's always a little more shiny than reality. This is the longest we've been able to be with her and watch her. She's a terrific character. You've given her depth and brought her to life. She's real. That is so cool.

Author Reply: I have to fly to my in-laws early Friday, so it's possible the next chapter will take a while, depending on how much I get done today or while I'm supposed to be working.

he's come up with some inventive coping mechanisms

Exactly. Just like he says that when he's sleeping on the floor, he's camping. You can see why he wants friends. His parents love him. They're just in their own world. I actually never thought about how Legolas might be attracted to him because he's like Eilian but that's a great point. I think I'll pretend I meant it all along.

I love commanding Thranduil. And Lorellin does too. But she's also her own person. A couple thousand years of experience will do that for you. And she's shown me the flaws or maybe just character traits that led to her death, as well as her love for her family. Thank you for saying nice things about her. She's growing on me.

BodkinReviewed Chapter: 6 on 4/2/2007
Do you know, Turgon is revealing himself as heart-breakingly adorable. If dangerously unaware of the dangers around him - and sadly lacking in parents and loving big brothers who are there to risk their own lives to keep him safe. His death would have caused an outcry if you had written it after this. 'Otter-friends' - 'sailor Annael' - 'sleeping puppy friends' ... he had the potential to be such a wonderful Wood-elf and intrepid warrior.

While Legolas is so out of his depth (in more ways than one). This is not the way to take your first steps beyond your nuclear family. (Is this why Legolas was left at home when his Nana went to visit her kin? I hope not - he might find it another reason why his mother's death is his fault.) Eilian is an absolute hero - even if he is being heroic in the way that suits him best. I love the image of him coming out of the water to the rescue - and the way he heads off to bring help.

And Lorellin's abrupt arrival in the Great Hall - and her marshalling of the royal resources. Masterly.

I love the river - it has a personality all of its own - and the closeness of the elves to the forest and the way the trees talk to Lorellin.

Terrifying chapter. So good.

Author Reply: I love Turgon. He just needed someone with sense to take care of him until he got some himself. I'm not sure I could have killed him if I'd written more about him before I did it.

I don't think this is why Legolas was left behind when Nana went to visit. Poor baby. I can hardly bear to think about it. He skinned his knee and he needs Nana.

And Nana has been a revelation to me. She's like a mother bear whose cub is in danger and no one had better get in her way.

ManderlyReviewed Chapter: 6 on 4/1/2007
Eilian to the rescue! Not surprising that he can trace the tracks of the elflings so quickly. He was in their shoes not so long ago himself. Besides, his precious baby brother was in danger. Nothing short of death would get in his way of rescuing Legolas. And he was so good with the elflings after he found them, rather than going into an instant angry, scolding mode as he could have so easily (and understandably) done after having had such a fright. I wonder how Ithilden would have reacted in this same situation.

You have to give it to Turgon. Even when threatened with death, he still clings onto that crazy sense of adventure, though I'm sure he won't want to be an otter again any time soon after this escapade.

Is the rest of cavalry coming soon? I really don't like the idea of Eilian having to battle that angry river again on his own.

Author Reply: I love heroic!Eilian. This sort of thing is right up his alley. It's crazy daring and it's in the service of someone he loves. To the elflings, he must have been an amazing sight, emerging out of the river to save them.

Turgon amuses me. He has a vivid imagination and is little enough to let it all out. I remember once walking through a mall with my son when he was a preschooler. He was muttering to himself and then he stopped and crouched down with one hand on the floor and a leg out behind him. When I asked what he was doing, he said, "I'm participating in the Olympics." It was an Olympic year and track and field had been on. He was getting ready to start a foot race right there in the mall.

Cavalry on the way. :-)

ponypetterReviewed Chapter: 6 on 4/1/2007
I can see Thranduil and Ithilden going apoplectic upon finding Eilian's things by the river. They wouldn't know about the boat, so they'd have to wonder why the heck he jumped in the river when it's as high as it is now. They would both have to assume the worst, since there'd be no signs of either Eilian or the little ones. I think Eilian is right to go back.

Author Reply: That was my reasoning too, though I had to think about it. I sometimes find it hard to decide what a character would do because, to me at least, it's not obvious. So then usually, I just have the character reason about it too. :-)

IdhrenielReviewed Chapter: 6 on 4/1/2007
I wanna read the rest!!! I wanna know what happens!!!!
Nice adventurous chapter! As always Eillian with his great scout abilities - and his historical of mischief - were very helpful. I wonder what the grownups will say about the boat.
Oh, every line you write about Thranduil and Laurellin is just wonderful. They should always be together.

Author Reply: LOL. I wrote about 1500 words today so the next chapter is started.

Eilian was at his best, valiant and tender. And you're right about Thranduil and Laurellin. I'm enjoying them so much. They've turned out to have an interesting dynamic.

Thanks, Idhreniel.

White WolfReviewed Chapter: 6 on 4/1/2007
This was an exciting and harrowing chapter and very rich in detail. Despite all the danger and suspense, I had to laugh at Turgon and his "otter friends" and "sleeping puppy friends". That boy is a mess and adventurous bravado aside, he is as vulnerable as any elfling would be. It makes him endearing, even though you’d like to grab him and rattle his teeth most of the time.

Eilian demonstrates yet again what he is willing to risk to save Legolas, but since he has a good heart, I know he would do it for any other child, as well. The words His sweet baby brother was not going to die a terrified death in a dark tunnel. gave me chills. I hope he won't need rescuing himself now.

Watching Lorellin's desperation to find Legolas grow was hard to see, but at least it wasn't the grief of losing a child, and luckily we know it won't come to that.

Terrific chapter, daw.

Author Reply: I had just read this advice about writing fiction that said you should stretch the tension, ie make it last by adding more details. My beta always says I hurry and I think that's what she means I need to do too. So I was practicing in this chapter. :-)

Lorellin really makes me pause and take stock. I haven't written much about her before and she surprises me sometimes.

Thank you, White Wolf.

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