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|The Seeds of Time by daw the minstrel||19 Review(s)|
|perelleth||Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 4/2/2007|
|I finally have some time to sit and read.|
Lorellin is coming out very well, and fitting perfectly with the rest of the family that we know so well. LEgolas and his friends are the same they will grow up to be and Eilian battling his demons to the point of not being able to concentrate in kissing a maiden is such a sad and telling thing!
I was reading today an article in the local news about how books for children were so needed because they played a role in educationg that was more needed than ever...and it made me think f your tales daw, because there are always things that make you reflect on how children make their decisions, how obedience and desobedience have consequences and howadults and childrens at times fight with the same difficulties though at different level.
And these three getting into the tunnel after being told off severely and shepherderd to the cottage was so utterly what little children would do to get into trouble without noticing that actually no one is absolutely to blame here!!!
BUt I am jumping to the next chapter because I want to know what happens to Captain Turgon and his merry sailors!
Author Reply: How's the fight for internet coming, Perelleth? We miss you!
I'm so glad you think Lorellin is coming out well. She's been interesting to write. Without thinking about her too much, I had sort of idealized her in my head, but when I started writing, she turned out more mixed: devoted to her family, stubborn, in love with her husband but with a mind of her own.
It seems to me that there are many more good kids' books out there now than when I was a kid. But I'm still glad you thought of my stories in the same time space with "were so needed." I'll tell that to the next agent I query.
|ponypetter||Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 4/1/2007|
|It's a good thing Eilian didn't know why those three were trying to build a fire. I bet he would have felt absolutely terrible seeing what a string influence he has over the younger elves, and not just Legolas.|
Author Reply: That's right, he doesn't know why they're building a fire, and he would feel terrible. He'd never want to harm Legolas.
|sofia||Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 4/1/2007|
|I like the tunnel/cave bit. It would be very romantic place. Those three... I still think Eilian is going to save the day. How? I don't know, but I'm sure he'll (or rather, you) will find a way.|
Author Reply: Eilian and I are working on it! I saw a tunnel with glowworms when I was in New Zealand last year. It really was beautiful.
|Tapetum Lucidum||Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 3/31/2007|
|It's been a long time since we've visited but it feels like I never left. I'm really enjoying this story, especially all of the foreshadowing of events that are coming in other stories. It is nice to get to know Lorellin a little better. She seems to know all of her men and their ways. I love how she is looking for a mate for Ithilden but knows who Eilian is meant to be with - |
even if he doesn't. I really don't want he to visit her cousin because I know what will happen on the return trip. Please don't let her go! Turgon and his mother are acting as I've always imagined them, just a little too careless for the average parent. Annael seems like a good influence on both his friends. Your fox and rabbit game was very clever, especially Legolas'strategic analysis. His interpretation of Fithral's death was very realistic for a child his age. I can't blame the game leader for dodging that comment. I feel for Eilian's turmoil over his recent loss of a comrade, it must have been terrible to watch. I am interested in seeing how he works it out. I had a feeling one of
the three elflings would wind up in the river - I just didn't expect it to be all three!
Great job so far!
Author Reply: Thanks, TL. For me, one of the interesting parts of fanfic has always been the effect of knowing the ending that will come. It's one of the reasons I like writing pre-Quest stories. Everything that happens to Legolas matters for that Arda-shattering future. So I guess it's also true that the impact of the story is affected by knowing what happens to Lorellin, who Eilian finally marries, how Ithilden is rescued from himself by Alfirin.
Now wouldn't it be fun if I did an AU from my own stories and had Lorellin decide to stay home? I'm smiling just thinking about it.
Eilian is healing with time home among other things, but the Shadow has touched him and he'll struggle with it for years, poor thing.
Nice to see you again.
|Dot||Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 3/31/2007|
|Ok, finally a chance to sit down for more than a few minutes. |
Love the bit with the courting squirrels! That made me laugh.
Mírdaniel could do with some helpful neighbours, though, to give her a hand unpacking. You know, free her up to watch the kids… ;-) It’s hilarious how she dropped Eilian in it. Actually, she dropped herself in it too because Lorellin knows her Eilian and his part in the river story doesn’t sound as bad as the fire-jumping… I was rolling my eyes at Mírdaniel’s fond amusement at the antics of the three elflings. And I like the internal battle in Lorellin – she understands Eilian and why he does risky things and she wants to help him, but at the same time she just cannot allow him to influence her youngest son in any negative way.
“Why they were in that bundle with the fishing tackle, I will never know." LOL!! That family is so scatty.
I do feel for Lorellin in her regret that she’s not needed so much anymore and her longing for another baby. I appreciate these glimpses of her because it gives her more depth of character. In a way it rounds out Thranduil a bit too.
"Jump!" Turgon cried. "Jump over the fire, Legolas." *groan* Actually for a moment there I thought it was a real fire. But you didn’t allow me to feel relieved for very long ;-) Though I had to laugh at Turgon’s logic about Eilian having a big fire and them having a little fire. And of course the other two follow him even while knowing they probably shouldn’t. Where to put it, the river wondered. What to do with it. I love that! The river is so alive to Legolas – probably made more alive because of Nana’s story because Nana can’t be wrong.
Speaking of the river, this is an incredible image: The sound of it swelled until they rounded a bend, and there it was, tumbling along, roaring of its struggle with the flood of water and debris that drove it out of its normal harmony with the forest. Eilian usually liked the river in spring. It spoke to him of energy and excitement. This spring, though, it disturbed him, leaving him simultaneously restless and longing for its placid summer face. I love how you absolutely capture Eilian in those lines. He too is full of struggle, carrying an extra weight that burdens him and that sometimes can throw him out of harmony with the forest that’s so much a part of him. Wow.
What a fright he must have got when he spotted what the three elflings were up to. I thought Eilian did well in swallowing down his instinct to hug Legolas. His little brother needs to learn, unfortunately. Annael is adorable in the way he looks after his friends. And LOL at him holding the bag out in front of him!
Smells of home in spring, of innocent adventure, of his childhood. Oh, lovely. Made me all nostalgic there for a moment.
I love the glow-worms! How romantic :-) But poor Eilian’s emotions seem a little too turbulent themselves and this moment isn’t going the way he expects. Not wants, I note, expects – he knows just how it should go! Amadith seems to be a lot quicker than Eilian about Celuwen too. But then, nearly everyone is… I’m surprised Eilian never thought of sneaking out in one of the barrels. It can be done, you know!
My heart went out to him when Amadith mentioned how upset his Naneth would be if he vanished into a tunnel and that image of Fithral appeared in his mind again. But I think too that perhaps her words were what he needed to drag him out of the darkness and away from memories and fears.
I’m smiling at Legolas considering telling Nana on Eilian. The elfling has had his feelings hurt. But geez, they’ve wandered off again. I was glued to the screen as they pushed the boat and hopped in. I just want to say now that this is NOT Eilian’s fault!
Legolas had time to glimpse the rocky ledge hurrying backwards, and then he found himself in a tunnel with glowworms streaking past overhead. Oh no! Go save them, oh evil author! Eilian can’t be gone far, can he? *yells for Eilian*
Excellent chapter :-)
Author Reply: You're so right that Mirdaniel needs help. Once the neighbors catch on to what the family is like, do you think they'd be over there assembling furniture and mopping up the disasters? Or do you think wood elves would value privacy more? I'm not sure. It's always fun to try to work these things out.
He too is full of struggle, carrying an extra weight that burdens him and that sometimes can throw him out of harmony with the forest that’s so much a part of him
Oh yay. You and Meckinock both mentioned this. I've been playing with the river as metaphor in this story. It sounds kind of pretentious to say that about fanfic, but I like to try new stuff. I didn't know if anyone would even notice, and maybe it wouldn't matter if they didn't. The metaphor might work anyway. Or it might now. Hard to tell. I've never done that before, so I have no idea if I'm over the top or understated or what.
Eilian fully expected things to go his way when the time came to collect kisses and they would have too. But then he's too upset to enjoy it. I'm laughing about the barrel comment. I still have to write about getting the elflings out of the tunnel so we may come to barrels yet!
Legolas made me laugh in thinking about telling Nana that Eilian was mean to him, because then he'd also be telling about the fire. But that hasn't occurred to Legolas, and of course, by the time he sees Nana again, other things will have driven Eilian's meanness out of his head.
Glad you liked it, Dot.
|Idhreniel||Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 3/30/2007|
|I knew it! I knew Turgon would be excited!!! He just had to imitate Ellian! Poor Legolas shall be in trouble - at least we know he is not going to die in the river - because of the silliness of his friend. Gosh. Ellian, Ellian... Will the queen be at his side this time??? I don' thing so!!!! |
Looking forward for the next chapter, Daw!!!!
Author Reply: Poor Eilian. He thought he was going into the cave to kiss. He never even thought about the boat and he's old enough not to get in it himself. Really, how could he ever have anticipated this?
I figured this story had less tension because readers know the boys will survive, but I'm having some fun with Nana and also experimenting a little with metaphor.
Thanks for the review, Idhreniel.
|obsidianj||Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 3/30/2007|
|Ohh, you are evil! What a cliffhanger. But it had to happen. Eilian's exploits are just too tempting for little elflings. And Turgon, as always, the instigator. I'm not sure, after this escapade, how Legolas was ever allowed to play with Turgon again. But maybe that was the last time that Turgon's mother looked after them. That's probably the reason Legolas is much more familiar with Annaels parents|
Author Reply: Turgon is about as thrilled by Eilian as Legolas is by Turgon. I'll bet Gelmir's parents worried about Eilian too, and wondered whether they really could march into the palace and say their kid couldn't play with the king's son any more. LOL.
|meckinock||Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 3/30/2007|
|I was happy to see that Mirdaniel has at least one redeeming quality - she makes a good cup of tea :-) And I was really touched by the glimpse of Lorellin's private longing for another baby. It rounded out her character to see her want something just for herself - it's not something that Thranduil wants, or any of her sons, and not really part of the package they'll remember after she's gone. It's something that belongs just to her.|
Ahem, but the boys picking up sticks in the background...the logic of Turgon is a thing of beauty. "So he had a big fire," Turgon reasoned. "We could have a little fire." How can you argue with that? Oh, but it gets better - they'll not go to the "boat place" (I think this might become important later) but to where the bank is high. Then they won't really be at the river. Right....
I like how Legolas and Annael just get dragged inexorably into this black hole of peer pressure. This is a textbook example of why DARE programs sound like a really great idea but don't work worth a damn. The hive mentality is so much stronger than anything grownups tell them. Everyone who thinks that if you just arm kids with information they will make Good Decisions ought to read this. /rant.
I liked how Legolas was affected by the river, seemed to be in tune with it. Where to put it, the river wondered. What to do with it. I love how you make the river a character here. A really cool image.
Lord, groupthink again. I love how Legolas and Annael both know Turgon's nuts but they both end up following him. If Turgon had lived, he really would have made a fine diplomat. Or White House spokesman.
Romantic Eilian. Someone should tell him that if you're trying to seduce one girl and the conversation keeps drifting to another girl, that's a Clue.
Eilian's reaction to the river so perfectly demonstrated his state of being at the moment, and continues the personification of the river that you set up earlier. Eilian usually liked the river in spring. It spoke to him of energy and excitement. This spring, though, it disturbed him, leaving him simultaneously restless and longing for its placid summer face.
Awww, a tear rolling down Legolas's cheek. I'm with Eilian, though; the only way to nip this in the bud is to scare the snot out of him. I like how he gives the bag to Annael to carry and not to Legolas. Obviously he already sees Annael as the Responsible One. Too bad he only made them promise not to start a fire, though.
I felt for Eilian when even going into the tunnel he played in as a boy filled him with bad memories, and that even under the glow of his "stars" (great concept) he wasn't able to relax and enjoy his time with the thoroughly impressed Amadith.
My father always said I worked harder at risking my neck than anyone he ever met. LOLOL.
Oh, the boat. Wow. Another reminder of the length of Elvish lifetimes. A boat that a young Man had built as a child would still be in pretty good shape. How old is Eilian now? Eighty or so?
You set this last part up beautifully. The discussion about the building of the boat, and the youngsters' earnest and scientific efforts to figure out where the river popped back out, and their discovery of the mortal danger that would have faced them if they had actually tried to float the boat down the river....
And now that's exactly where Legolas is headed. Brilliant. And Evil. My complements :-)
Author Reply: In my head, Lorellin wants a little girl. Too bad she's not around to dote on Eilian's daughter when he finally has one.
I figured Annael and Legolas would react to Turgon with a mix of fascination and horror, but the fascination would win out. How could you walk away? Wouldn't you want to see what happened? These kids are wood elves, after all, less wise and more dangerous.
Eilian's reaction to the river so perfectly demonstrated his state of being at the moment
Oh bless you. One of my current experiments (no pun on 'current' intended).
I was in a river filled tunnel with glowworms when I was in NZ last year. It's a tourist thing. You get in a boat and ride around. It was wonderful.
80 is about right for Eilian. I had to stop and try to decide how decrepit the boat would be because I thought I read somewhere that things in caves tended to be well preserved but this one had the river, which couldn't have been good.
Thank you for the review, Meckinock. I deleted the other one with the screwed up italics. :-)
|elliska||Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 3/30/2007|
|I love the opening exchange in this. It is great! And Legolas is very cute when he and his nana first arrive at Turgon's house. Children amuse me so much when they get shy over something they were so excited about. But I was very suspicious of of those sticks the moment they appeared and I was not disappointed. Eilian must have about had a heart attack. He sould have known better.|
I liked his 'stars.' But he doesn't seem destined to get his kisses. Legolas's hurt feelings and his thoughts that he might tell nana on Eilian just cracked me up. Kids do that and it is so funny.
But the ending! They are in so much trouble and who is going to pull them out of the river this time?! Poor little Legolas might not get to play with his exciting friend Turgon again any time soon.
Author Reply: I'm not sure Eilian knows even yet why the kids were messing around with fire, but he about had a heart attack anyway.
I saw a tunnel with a river and glowworms when I was in New Zealand last year. It was beautiful. They really are magical looking.
Legolas's family will be ambivalent about Turgon for years to come. Maybe Legolas can only play with him at Annael's house or the palace?
|White Wolf||Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 3/30/2007|
|Oh my, and here I thought that Legolas might get a singed bottom not a wet one. Turgon has led them into trouble yet again, and this time it's a doozy. As soon as he said, "It's tied up," I thought: not for long. Annael has the right idea, but he can never seem to follow his instincts not to do the things he knows he shouldn't. The pull of peer pressure is just too great for him.|
I'm looking forward to finding out how long Legolas will be grounded, once he and his little friends get out of this one.
Author Reply: Little kids' lack of experience and wisdom lets them do things that just boggle the adult mind. Someone (ahem, Mirdaniel) should have been watching them and loaning them the wisdom they don't have themself yet.
Thanks for the review, White Wolf.