Stories of Arda Home Page
About Us News Resources Login Become a member Help Search

Stirrings of Shadow  by Fiondil 8 Review(s)
TariReviewed Chapter: 2 on 4/27/2009
“Mithfaron eyed the humans with equine disdain, shaking his head in disgust at the two-legs dancing about him, but he never left his beloved master’s side.” This is absolutely priceless as is the whole episode. Maybe next time the Rohirrim are in a situation like this, they’ll wait before judging someone. I wonder if Thengel senses something different about Thorongil?



Author Reply: I'm glad you liked this episode, Tari. I'm not sure if THengel senses something different about Thorongil, but certainly he realizes that he's not been trained in the usual way. At the moment he's willing to ignore Thorongil's peculiarities and just accept him at face value.

colbysgurlReviewed Chapter: 2 on 2/8/2008
I was wondering if you were going to mention the fact that Aragorn was trained by the elves...:D Another great chapter.

Author Reply: In this version of events, he doesn't deny his elvish training but as you can see he hides the real reason for it. Glad you liked the chapter. Thanks for reading and reviewing.

RagnelleReviewed Chapter: 2 on 1/7/2008
Hi.

Though I leave a review for this chapter I have read all for the story so far and thought to give some general coments first. And thouse are quite simple: I like it. It is well-written and I love that you have so much Anglo-Saxon in it. You obviously know a lot about the language, I can see that without knowing much of it myself.

I also like you writing-style, and the setting of the story, which was one reason that I started reading it. The Eorlingas are the people I identify with the most; both becaus they have some simularities with the Norse people, and because of the horses. And then my favourite Aragorn.

Now to the reason I leave a review for this particular chapter, which I had some problems with. The promblem is this: I found Hildebrand and Thengel's reactions to Aragorn's test unrealistic. And the test itself a bit stupid. Or perhaps not stupid, but irrelevent to the skills needed.

I have no problem with beliving that what Aragorn does is possible. Both the way he calls the horse and the acrobatics are posible feats. The only part a normal man would find too hard, is teaching the horse the course oraly. But given some time, any horse can be taught to follow a certain trail, leaving the rider free to show of the way Aragorn does.

However, it does not show Aragorn to be a talented rider. A good archer, yes. A good acrobat, yes. Someone skilled at teaching his horse tricks, yes. A rider able to do any kind of mounted combat, no. He can be a horse-archer, but I see little other skills displaied. And so I do not belive Thengel's awe at Aragorn's horsemanship.

In battle it is useless to give the horse oral comands. There is no time, the reaction has to be instant. To see what has to be done next, and then form the words to the comand, takes too long. It requires too much thinking. In battle, you have to be able to just react, and have the horse follow your movement. You can't plan the enemies movement up front, he will not do wat you want him to. So the horse has to react to the weight-aids, not spoken words. What Aragorn does is an elaborate circus-trick, which does not require any ridingskills at all and which are useless in battle. Showing of tricks does not exlude riding-skills, but neither does it prove anything. And so I find Hildebrand's axeptance unbelivable.

You do manage to show Aragorn as a cocky, over-confident and arrogant show-off. He is young, and seemingly used to be admired to his skills (at least that is how it looks to me) and so this confidence and cockyness is perhaps not a strange traith. I can belive a young Aragorn blundering like that. Hildebrand and Thengel letting him get away with it is another question, especially Hildebrand who you say is sceptical to Aragron at first.

Skill is not showy. Paul Belasic, an American clasical rider, writes in one of his books about the curse of being clasical trained. "How your masters ruined it for you," he says. "You want to be part of the gliterati, and Oh and Ah over the newest star of the arena. But you can't. Deep inside you know that, 'No! it is not fantastic; the horse is not straight!" (paraphrazed, as I do not have the source with me) And that was the feeling I was left with after Aragorn's show. Hildebrand and Thengel should know too much of horses and riding to be that easily impressed.

This is a subject that I am quite pasionate about, as you can see from the lenght of my review. It might well be that you have to be as interested in dresage and mounted combat as I am to react to this. Still it was the one thing in your story that made me want to scream in frustration. And if Aragorn had been a female OC, I would perhaps have screamed "Sue!", but mostly I wanted to scream: "The horse is not straight!"

I might also have reacted as strongly because I do identify somewhat with the Eorlingas, and it is a bit anoying to have the Horselords impressed by the horsemanship of someone that has merely proven his agiality and skill in teaching his horse tricks. Being polite to the horse and tell it what is going to happen is well enough when riding is a hobby, or even if you make your living with horse-shows or in competitions. It is useless against an opponent that wants you dead. The Eorlingas would know that, but in your story they seemingly do not. That I found problematic.

Author Reply: Hi Ragnelle, thanks for your review. My only comment is that you are looking at this from the perspecitve of a human without benefit of elvish training. Naturally, in a combat situation Aragorn wouldn't be giving oral commands to his horse. But the test wasn't about combat, per se; it was about being able to shoot from the back of the horse while weaving through an intricate pattern of targets. There was nothing that said how the rider was supposed to do it. And the fact that Aragorn doesn't give his commands while riding but before he sets off and that the horse would actually follow the route described the way you and I would follow verbal instructions would not be a "trick" but something that the Rohirrim would be incapable of doing with their own horses. Aragorn's horse, however, is elf trained and that makes the difference. So, yes, Aragorn's display of horsemanship is showy; it was meant to be, that's why he gets into trouble. I suspect that coupled with the competence with which Gilhael rode the same course, both Hildebrand and Thengel were willing to overlook the showiness and see just how well the "lad" would do in a real-life situation. That's the best I can do for an explanation.

Author Reply: I also meant to say, that your objections notwithstanding, you are ignoring the fact that Aragorn runs three-fourths of the course in conventional style, albeit elf-fashion without a saddle. So, Hildebrand, Thengel and the other Rohirrim would have had plenty of opportunity to gauge is worth as a rider before he pulls his "circus act", which occurs only after he crosses the stream. By then, he's nearly run the course. I hope this clarifies things for you.

Raksha The DemonReviewed Chapter: 2 on 4/6/2007

Interesting that Aragorn and Gilhael incorporate Aragorn's fostering at Imladris into the fictional version of Thorongil's life - it makes sense, gives Aragorn less information that he has to keep secret, but I wonder if it would set off some alarm bells in certain heads in Minas Tirith when he eventually goes there, since there might be a record of Isildur's heirs, at least Valandil, being fostered in Imladris.

Wonderful description of the gauntlet, and Aragorn's display of skill. Of course he should explain things to his horse first!

Author Reply: Usually, the best way to hide one's identity is out in the open. Also, it is easier to remember details if your new identity incorporates something of your old identity. You're not as likely to be caught out that way. Probably by the time Aragorn goes to Gondor his identity as "Thorongil of Rohan" will be firmly established, and any reference to Imladris not paid too much attention to, since the Gondorians have had no contact with the elves in a very long time.

I'm glad you liked the gauntlet. I was hard pressed at first to come up with a suitable test of skill that would be something the Rohirrim would do.

BodkinReviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/12/2007
Circus!Aragorn!!

Well - I imagine that tremendous talent on horse-back, together with weapons' skills would win over many of the Rohirrim. (While a few will, maybe, look on him as a rather cocky young man who needs to be taken down a peg or two...)



Author Reply: *(While a few will, maybe, look on him as a rather cocky young man who needs to be taken down a peg or two...)*

Oooh, you read my mind! *lol*

But I did have fun writing the scene and Gilhael's response about Aragorn not practicing.

LarnerReviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/8/2007
A wonderful display, and worthy of the training he received. Love Thengel coming down cloaked and hooded, and the reassurance of young Theoden.

Author Reply: I figured Aragorn would need to prove himself worthy of the Rohirrim in a rather spectacular way, given that he's A). a stranger and B). young. I guess his little stunt worked. *grin*

SurgicalSteelReviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/8/2007
I enjoyed the little glimpse of Aragorn's childhood - and I'm enjoying seeing him trying to fit in in Edoras.

Author Reply: Hi SurgicalSteel, I'm glad you're enjoying this story so far. There's plenty more to come.

vaskeReviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/8/2007
Wow, it looks like Aragorn and Gilhael are going to cause quite a stir amongst the Rohirrim. I hope it doesn't get too hard for Aragorn to keep his backstory straight! I'm enjoying this story as much as the prequell, keep up the great work:)

Author Reply: Thanks vaske. I appreciate your comments. I'm sure Aragorn will do just fine in remembering his backstory as long as he doesn't get carried away *grin*.

Return to Chapter List