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| Natural Children by French Pony | 11 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| Larner | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 2/12/2007 |
| Poor children, both of them as they seek to make sense of it all. | |
| meckinock | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 2/12/2007 |
| Wow. Scariness in the river. I don't know which was worse - Elrond's terror at being swept away or Elros's terror at seeing him stranded in the floodwaters. And poor Elrond; he wants to be rescued but he doesn't want to have to touch Maedhros's stump. I really felt sorry for Elros being assigned to write a composition after all that! I was very relieved when Maedhros let him off the hook. The final scene was very touching, with poor Elros trying to get comfortable in bed all alone. He has a lot to think about. Have his feelings really changed or not? | |
| ponypetter | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 2/11/2007 |
| I just found this beautiful story. I think the most striking scene featured Elros telling Maglor and Maedhros that their oath and quest was stupid. Maglor seems to agree in his heart, which probably has a lot to do with his adoption of the twins. His loyalty to the rest of his family is difficult to shake especially now that so many have died, but I get the feeling he is finding it increasingly difficult to accept his role in the deaths of his adopted son's family. | |
| Bodkin | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 2/8/2007 |
| Thank goodness Elrond is rescued! Elros is learning more about his guardians than perhaps he realises - their deep love for each other, for one thing. And that they are suffering from the events of the past age or so. And, perhaps, that working together will achieve what a solo effort won't. But Maedhros can still be rather scary. (Protective of his younger brother, perhaps. Even at the expense of children.) | |
| Jay of Lasgalen | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 2/6/2007 |
| (Sorry - this is more a comment to Jasta about her review) 'A friend of mine killed off a VERY popular character of hers in a series of novels--he needed to NOT be there for future events--but rather than succumb to the temptation to kill him off in some special or meaningful way, with perhaps a lovely protracted death scene... he slipped in blood during a brutal massed fight, struck his head on the edge of a stone stair, and... died. Wham. A brilliant moment that had her fans screaming in outraged admiration... *g* I know the scene you mean - and I hated it. It was so senseless, and such a waste of a wonderful life - and exactly what happens in battles and a time of war. So much that is good is lost in just such pointless circumstances. | |
| JastaElf | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 2/6/2007 |
| Superb chapter! A lot of emotions... a lot of pain and terror. I can feel SO much for Elrond here... I have a deep and abiding terror of drowning (yet am drawn to water, the rougher the better... go figure....) and I know I would not have been able to let go of the rock either. One thing that struck me so powerfully (among the many!) was the fact that Elrond was in the act of moving away from the dangerous river--sensible child!--when he was taken away by an act of nature. This is never an easy thing for a writer to convey; we always want to make it something more than it is, but accidents sometimes just happen. A friend of mine killed off a VERY popular character of hers in a series of novels--he needed to NOT be there for future events--but rather than succumb to the temptation to kill him off in some special or meaningful way, with perhaps a lovely protracted death scene... he slipped in blood during a brutal massed fight, struck his head on the edge of a stone stair, and... died. Wham. A brilliant moment that had her fans screaming in outraged admiration... *g* I thought of that when I re-read Elrond falling into the river. He didn't fall because he was out of control with grief and upset--though there was every reason for that to be the case. He didn't fall because someone pushed him, or was trying to rid the world of him... he just... fell. The riverbank let go and he fell. JUST brilliantly simple, and perfect! Elros's actions throughout are also perfect. He is acting very much his age, and very much the characterization you have created for him--and it's wonderful to see. I love the fact that he actually noticed--and understatedly reacted to--the fact that Maedhros brought him unmatched stockings and Elrond's trousers. Grief and anxiety are like that... we catch ourselves winkling at trivialities, and often bash ourselves for doing so, and yet... do it anyway. It shows so clearly and simply and brilliantly the way a mind and spirit behaves when dulled by fear... so very well done. I love that you show, by people's actions and words, what state they're in--rather than telling, you show. And you do so VERY well. The end bit, with Elros realizing that Maglor is weeping and that he, Elros, is probably the cause of it... is just stunning. In fact the entire part from when they rescue Elrond reminds me of a song I heard a few times on the radio as a child, and have not been able to find since. It is called "November Snow" and is apparently about someone looking back on the death of a brother many years later. Like your story it is elegantly simple and yet so complex: "November snow, stretching far away/on a Kansas City morning, people talking low;/but the doctor shook his head/and left the rest unsaid..." and later, the line that has haunted me ever since: "And we always will be brothers/though there always will be others/to call my name..." The whole second half of this chapter leaves me in the same contemplative state of mind, observing a grief and an anxiety from outside, wanting to comfort but not able to because I am not truly there... but strongly marked by what I am observing. *Stands and applauds* Just SUCH a wonderful chapter, in a superb, beautifully crafted story! Thank you for this update! | |
| Daynawayna | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 2/6/2007 |
| OH my! Poor Elrond! Poor Elros! POOR MAGLOR!! And for good measure... good 'ole Maedhros! LOL You certainly know how to put male elves thru the ringer, French Pony! I'm totally taken with this story and can't wait for the next update! This is some pretty fine angst, and I'm lovin' it! LOL (does that make me a sadist?) :O OH dear... shutting up now... :D | |
| perelleth | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 2/5/2007 |
| Ai, poor Elros! WHat a difficult day! He will learn a lot from this, I believe, poor child. And I loved the subtle irony of the punishment that MAedhros chose for him! | |
| Jay of Lasgalen | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 2/5/2007 |
| An exciting chapter! Thank goodness Elrond was rescued - and I'm glad that Elros's instinct was still to run to Maglor for help. That makes me sure that the breach between them will heal eventually. But however badly Elros had behaved, I think that Maglor and Maedhros (as brothers themselves) should have allowed him to see Elrond, to reassure and comfort each other. Even if Elros is still being punished, Elrond needs his twin. Jay | |
| MithLuin | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 2/5/2007 |
| Poor, poor Elros. He can't help but feel miserable to know it is his fault Elrond got into danger, and same with Maglor's being upset. He is alone and miserable right now, even if his brother had the worst of it. I am glad Maedhros calmed down, but I can understand why his anger would be enough to frighten a child! | |