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The pilgrim soul  by Dot 10 Review(s)
KestrelReviewed Chapter: 1 on 2/5/2008
I read this wonderful story once before, and thought I'd already left a review. I see I haven't. This was so truthful, I am in this situation nowadays with my own mother. I see it from the human point of view, as your character does, but it must have been very difficult for the elves as well. At least Legolas and Thranduil had more experience in dealing with humans than the other elven realms did. I can imagine Legolas saying afterwards to the other two elves something like "I hardly recognized that man, we were just over here what-twenty, thirty years ago?" One minute the humans are bouncing on your knee, the next trip over they're doddering already. Poor elves! There was so much...kindness in this story; on the part of the grandson (who was reading with his grandfather at the beginning, and his defense of him) and from the father to his own father (leaving him in the hall with them), and from Legolas to the grandfather too. Very nice, altogether!

perellethReviewed Chapter: 1 on 8/27/2006
I had not read this. Yet you made me curious today. It is so beautiful and realistic, Dot! And I really love the father, set in the middle of two generations and a sea of conflicting emotions! It is tender, and sweet, and yet harsh as life, reminding us that warmth, care and respect for each other are what dignity is all about.

The presence of the elves made it more poignant for the young one, but the father was so tenderly loving when he introduced his own father to the elves who had surely known him. A wonderful piece! I'm glad I found it!

Author Reply: Thanks, perelleth! I hadn’t actually stopped to think today who’d read it and who hadn’t! You’ve really made me smile by picking out the father because I could only show him through the son’s eyes and wasn’t sure if you could see beyond the son’s misinterpretations. It must have been difficult for him but I think he knew that his son was struggling and he really tried to help his own father keep his dignity in the way he thought he’d have wanted. I’m just thrilled you enjoyed the story. Thanks for the kind words :-)

elliskaReviewed Chapter: 1 on 6/12/2006
Wow! This needed a tissue warning! I find this level of introspection absolutely impossible to write and pull off but you sure did it here. You showed this (relatively, I guess) young man's progression of thoughts so realistically and vivdly that I was absolutely bawling at the end of it (it didn't help that my dad and aunt both went the way his grand dad did--believe me, you got this whole thing perfectly). Very well done, Dot!

Author Reply: I was afraid I’d upset someone :-( I almost didn’t post it because I know what a tough subject it is for people – and I’ve experience with it myself. I hope I haven’t caused anyone unhappiness. This was all an experiment for me really – delving that deep, writing first-person, etc. So thank you for your words on the emotions and for letting me know that you thought it all worked. That means the world to me. I was so nervous about it!

The KarenatorReviewed Chapter: 1 on 6/11/2006
Oh, Dot, this story is wonderful. You've chosen a difficult subject to explore and did a beautiful job of capturing the complexities of emotions. The narrator is struggling with his grandfather's infirmities and in doing so, he's also battling his own, even if they're emotional ones. His feelings are raw at times, resentful one moment, and loving the next. I felt his embarrassment for his grandfather. I especially appreciated that in the end, he came to see that his father didn't hide his father because he loved him, not because he was uncaring that the old man was no longer cognizant. The ruler was a son still proud of his father.

Your portrayal of Legolas and his companions was very well done. They had the cool aloofness of elves, but, genuine respect and compassion was what defined them. They'd been around for so long, they must have seen the rulers of the unnamed land change many times. I like to think that when Legolas saw the old man, he saw the strong young man he once was, the real person, the spirit, locked inside a declining physical shell. And he honored it. When he bowed low to the old man, I got all teary eyed.

The ending was just perfect. Three generations of men, bound by family and duty, and more importantly, by love and understanding. I think your narrator will one day honor his father just as his father honored his father and perhaps continuing a tradition for generations to come. A very nice reminder about how we should honor our elderly.

Wow. Just wow!


Author Reply: I got all teary when I saw this review! Thank you for such kind words. You’re right – it is a difficult subject and I was so afraid that this would end up too trite. It was important to me that his emotions would come across as real and raw and identifiable so I’m just so thrilled that you think they did. And I’m very glad that you liked the portrayal of the elves. Your thought that Legolas could see the person the grandfather really was is a lovely one. I debated about the ending but it seemed the right one to me – I’m so pleased you think it worked. Thank you so much for such a generous review :-)

meckinockReviewed Chapter: 1 on 6/11/2006
Dot, the emotions in this were so strong and visceral I was nearly in tears myself. You really got across how unbearable it was for the narrator to be confronted by immortals in the face of the mortality and decrepitude he was struggling to deal with. I think this is exactly how it would have been, and probably a primary reason why mortals and immortals kept to themselves, for the most part. It would have just been too hard. And it was painful to see the narrator mis-read Legolas's concern for the grandfather. Surely he was feeling compassion for the man who was lost, remembering him as a strong man in his prime, a youth, and maybe even a boy. Remembering him in a way that even his own family cannot. I cannot imagine how the Elves could stand to watch so many generations of Men pass away. Another reason for keeping their distance, I suppose. I was glad that in the end, though, Legolas was able to brighten the narrator's mood. I like to think that he did take him up on his offer and find some happiness.

Author Reply: Thank you so much, meckinock. You have no idea what it means to me that you think this came across well! It’s interesting to think about how men and elves viewed the question of mortality/immortality - and this poor guy just happened to be struggling with one of the most difficult aspects of being mortal when in walked these ageless elves. I’d probably be pretty bitter too! There are lots of ways of looking at it, but I really wanted to see it from his point of view - just this moment in time - even if it means that we have to guess what the elves were really thinking. I was very nervous about this so I’m just so glad that you think it worked. Thank you for the review!

AlassielReviewed Chapter: 1 on 6/11/2006
Hello Dot,

This is one of the most poignantly beautiful tales I have read. What indeed would Elves think of human mortality? I imagine that some of them would be scornful and even disgusted by sickness, disability or old age, but I think the wiser folk among them would remember that even they face an end—the End of Arda itself, beyond which the Valar themselves can not see. I think Legolas would show compassion, as he did, since his people have lived so long in the shadow of Sauron's malice. Thank you for this lovely story.

Blessings,

Alassiel




Author Reply: Wow, thank you for such a wonderful review, Alassiel. I agree with you that most elves would have the wisdom to know that there is an end for them too and they wouldn’t judge these people in the way this guy was afraid of, for all that they probably don’t understand the aging process. They may think of mortality as a gift but it was interesting for me to play around with them seeing it in terms of aging rather than death itself. And this poor guy being confronted with immortality, just when mortality looks most cruel to him. I’m glad you liked Legolas’ compassion – it just seemed to me that it’s what he would do. I’m delighted you liked this. Thank you so much for taking the time to stop by and let me know :-)

French PonyReviewed Chapter: 1 on 6/11/2006
Very thought-provoking. I think your choice of not to identify the son, father, and grandfather was a good one. Their identities are not as important as their status as mortal beings. We look through this man's eyes and his thoughts could be those of anyone confronting the prospect of virtual immortality. One other nice effect is that Legolas really seems alien. He is a being of a different species, and not a bit of that is lost on our narrator here. You read something like this, and you realize just why it is that, despite several thousand years of sharing a continent, Elves and Men really didn't mix much, and why Elf-Man marriages were such famous and well-discussed events.

Author Reply: Ah, I’m so glad you said that about not identifying these people. At first I intended to but then I realised that it wasn’t important who they are – it could really be anyone at any time and it’s about the mortal experience, especially in the face of what we think we understand of immortality. And that you saw Legolas as being so very different to these people pleases me no end. Thank you so much for the review :-)

NilmandraReviewed Chapter: 1 on 6/11/2006
A lovely tale, Dot. This speaks directly to the differences between humans and elves, and for as muc has we like to write and think about the elves, we are not them. We are mortals, aging, and we no more can no what their life is like than they can know ours. Yet I really like that Legolas offered respect to the aged grandfather. I think that is an elven thing to do. I can't help but wonder if the elves might even have understood his words or at least seen into his memories.

Author Reply: Thanks, Nilmandra! There is, of course, the other side of this and all that immortality can mean but this guy isn’t ready to even think about that. He’s struggling with losing someone he loves, even though that person is still there in body and then he’s confronted with people who, for all their compassion and wisdom, don’t fully understand that. I’m so glad you like that Legolas offers respect to the grandfather. It just seemed right to me that he would do that.

I can't help but wonder if the elves might even have understood his words or at least seen into his memories.

Oh, now there’s a thought! Hmm. I must go ponder that.

BodkinReviewed Chapter: 1 on 6/11/2006
Poor young man. This would certainly be a time when he would resent not just the immortality of elves, but their invulnerability to the ravages of time. However comfortable he is in his own skin - and his mother seems to have done a pretty good job in helping him see that death, after a long useful life is a blessing - seeing his beloved grandfather in second childhood is causing him a great deal of pain. That, and, I suspect, having recently been made aware through practical experience, that death comes as an unfortunate side effect of soldiering.

Dealing with mortals must be painful for elves, too. Ten minutes ago ... well a score of years ... Legolas played with a child - who is now an adult beginning to go grey - and the powerful ruler he dealt with is close to death. Such things must really have made elves want to keep away from men. Such butterflies - a day in the sun, reproduce and they're gone.

I love this, Dot. It is remarkably moving - the emotions roiling around in this young man are so recognisable and he hurts so much.

I'm glad his father realised that he was in no condition to pay attention to matters of business.

Author Reply: You really are too kind. I’m so, so pleased that you like this. I think that this all too fresh for this poor guy yet and in walk these elves in all their beauty and agelessness. Of course, immortality isn’t all it seems either but he’s not ready to see that. I’m glad you can see some of the closeness of the family and the type of upbringing he’s had. And what this must mean to the elves… Yes, it’s certainly a reason for them to steer clear of mortals, whose lives pass all too quickly. Thank you so much for saying that the emotions are “recognisable” – that really meant a lot to me! And I just couldn’t have the father annoyed with him! I think neither had realised until now how difficult it was for the other.



daw the minstrelReviewed Chapter: 1 on 6/11/2006
Oh, Dot. This was very moving. And it's right on. A mind that dies before the body is a fear we all have, I think. But the family here is loving and takes care of the aged. The elves have things to learn here too I think.

Author Reply: Thank you, daw. I really wanted it to feel “real” and I’m so glad that it did to you. I think you’re right that the elves learned something here too. It would be interesting to see it from their point of view – but this guy obviously needed to work things out so that’s how it wrote itself!

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