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Consequences of a Fall  by Dreamflower 10 Review(s)
Indigo BuntingReviewed Chapter: 2 on 7/13/2006
Another fine chapter here, Dreamflower. I think you capture hobbit 'voices' very well - a little rustic, very wholesome, and pleasant to read. I liked the way that Eglantine called Pippin 'poppet'. It's just that sort of touch that makes the world you're creating feel real. I'm enjoying your characterization of Frodo, too - how he's only just become a full-fledged adult and wants to be accepted as such by the others. I know the awkward feeling that comes when you're having to relate to family members as an adult when they've known you from childhood. Oh, and I like the way Merry keeps saying "Yes, Aunt Tina" and "No, Aunt Tina". Here's another hobbit who's been taught how to speak respectfully to his elders.

One more comment before I go. I saw how you decided to abreviate 'Pimpernel' and thought, "What, you didn't want to call her Pimp?" 'Pimmie' seems like a good choice.

Author Reply: Why thank you! I strive very hard to capture the tone JRRT uses for hobbits, both the gentry and the working class--it's difficult, being American, to make sure I keep the voices right, and avoid obvious Americanisms and anachronisms. I also like to use old-fashioned endearments and phrases to help make that happen. I'm glad you think that I succeed.

It's hard for Frodo at this point in time--not even of age for a full year, and already the Master of Bag End and the Head of his clan--a clan that includes a few relatives that would be happy to see him fail. Fortunately, there are far more who wish him well.

In my particular view of hobbits, I see them as being not only very clan/family oriented, but the younger know their place in the pecking order. And Merry of course, is a young gentlehobbit. Not to mention very fond of his aunt.

I thought "Pimmie" a suitable nickname. Some use "Pim" or "Nel" or even "Nellie", but I prefer to stick with the beginning of the name for a nickname, as JRRT does with Meriadoc-Merry.

LarnerReviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/20/2006
Dear Frodo--forever youthful after this; but unable to exploit his youth for the cousins he loves best.

Author Reply: It's going to be a while before anything is noticed as to his not aging. His cousins are just *used* to him being so much older than they, that it will be quite some time before their perception catches up to reality.

But right now, it's barely ten months since Bilbo left, and Frodo has to keep his dignity on hand for the older family heads.

Grey WondererReviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/18/2006
Looks like Pervinca can't be trusted with a secret. I don't blame her. It was so distressing and it must have been the only thing on her mind at the time. I liked the way Merry insisted on hearing the whole story since Pervinca had already let some of it slip. I am enjoying reading this one again.

Author Reply: Well, after all, she's only a few years older than Pippin, and very distressed. And Pimpernel wasn't much better at hiding it either. But of course, Merry *would* insist. He's not one to leave things be.

I'm glad you like it the second time around. I hope you like the improvements that Lin and I are making in it!

Queen GaladrielReviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/17/2006
Oh, poor Pearl! But honestly, I can't believe every hobbit in the place doesn't know who started that gossip--it's Hyacinth, of course! Mean thing!

It's like Frodo to pity even Lalia, and really it is sad that she should be so unloved. But Esme is right: she brought it on herself.

God bless,

Author Reply: Well, not really, because most people do not realize how sly and clever she is. They think she is merely stupid, spiteful and snobby; and so if she prefaces what she says by saying someone *else* told her, they won't really know any different.

Frodo is tender-hearted, though not as much as he would later become. But, yes, Esme is very right.

Baggins BabeReviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/16/2006
How typical of Pip to worry about his sister - and I wonder if Merry is up to something? He made no promises, and there's that Brandybuck refusal to take things lying down........

I imagine there was much relief on the quiet when Lalia went - she must have been an appalling old harridan to live with! I've often wondered if all those years under her thumb soured old Ferumbras. There's so much I want to know. Can't wait for the next bit!

Author Reply: No, Merry made no promises--he was careful about that, and Eglantine noticed it as well.

My Ferumbras is not so bad as others, but he is more than a little self-centered, and somewhat on the wimpy side. He tends to get his way without committing himself to doing anything.

AndreaReviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/16/2006
This story grows more and more interesting!
From the other reviews I conclude, that Hyacinth has earned herself a real bad reputation already (maybe in other stories). And when I look at what Bilbo said about her, she must indeed be terrible.

I think it was only a matter of time before Pippin found out about Pearl. And it's just like him to try to protect his sister.
But what about Merry, I wonder. He did not promise his aunt to ignore the gossip. I think Merry will try to do something. But what? Well, we'll see :)

Author Reply: Hyacinth's previous appearance was in "A New Reckoning" which is my long post-Quest story. And yep, she's pretty bad, especially for a hobbit.

Well, Pippin's a good brother, and would naturally be upset at anyone saying wicked thing about his sister. As to Merry--well, it's inevitable, I think. As to what, you will soon see.

BodkinReviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/16/2006
Actually, I feel quite sorry for Euphorbia for getting stuck with Hyacinth. Couldn't they find her a little hut somewhere miles away from everyone where she could be left to look after herself. Less of a punishment for her, but less of a punishment for everyone else, too.

I notice she's clinging to Ferumbras's shoulder - for the ease of whispering nasty thoughts in his ear, I should think. While Reggie is doing his best to keep his distance. (Wimp.) And poor Pearl ends up being the victim of it all. In a mud-sticks way. Well, I hope the usual suspects manage to clear her name.

Author Reply: *snerk*

Being eaten by a passing troll is one thing - still seems quite a good plan, though it might not do much for the plot! But hobbits are nicer than Men and more balanced in their dealings with people - I can't see Paladin just saying Go! - without having something to do with 'where' in his head. - He (and even more Pippin) wouldn't be able to deal with her sleeping in ditches or starving. Plus the Shire is quite a male dominated society (politically rather than crushed and hard done by hobbit lasses) and I think that they would find it harder to banish Hyacinth than the Bankses and Bracegirdle.

You recognize that? LOL! That's one of the reasons she got sent back to her family, so her brother and Euphorbia are just stuck with her. *grin*giggle*

You may not feel so merciful to her anyway, by the time you finish *this* fic!

Yes, she is whispering at Ferumbras. But don't count Reggie out--he's got *his* own agenda, as well.

As for Pearl, we shall see...

harrowcatReviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/16/2006
This is great Dreamflower - the plot thickens! I like the look at the change in circumstance when Frodo takes over as Family Head. Not something I had thought of before. It must have been very difficult, especially being so young.

Author Reply: Yes. While, really, Bilbo did the right thing in getting away from the Ring while the getting was good, he did not do Frodo any favors by leaving him in charge when he had barely reached his majority: it would be like a modern day CEO of a family run business (rare any more, I know, but a few exist) deciding to retire the day their kid turns 21, and turning the running of the business over to them. They'd be hard put to it to get anyone to take them seriously.

PIppinfan1988Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/15/2006
"The Master of Buckland had not got on well with old Lalia."

Bingo! I didn't catch this the first time round, but I agree; there had to be dealings between the families, and I don't think Lalia helped relations. As for Ferumbras, I believe the apple didn't fall far from the tree, lol. I do love to read your Ferumbras because he *is* different from mine, except in one area.

I love your world of hobbits; it would take me forever it I sat here and listed each of them. One thing, though, is the relationship you've developed between Merry and his cousins--they're more like siblings than cousins, and I enjoy that immensely. I'm relly enjoying this tale!


Author Reply: No, I don't think Rory would have got on well with Lalia at all. I am quite sure that the Brandybuck level-headedness and egailitarian "frontier" attitude would not have suited her one little whit. And I am quite sure he would have had no patience with a "family head" who put her own self-interests against the family.

I do think in many ways they are more like brothers than cousins; at least in Frodo's and Merry's case, that was actually true, for they *were* foster brothers the first seven years of Merry's life. Pippin, I think, spent a lot of time with both the cousins, but especially with Merry, so there as well a bond like brotherhood was formed. And yet, in other vital ways, being cousins rather than actual brothers probably helped the friendship be even stronger, for there was not the element of rivalry for the parents' affection that enters in, so there was no reason for them to squabble or fight.

Jeodo BrandybuckReviewed Chapter: 2 on 3/15/2006
What an interesting beginning! I'm looking forward to reading more. Thanks for a delightful (if somewhat macabre) trip to the Shire -- I love your descriptions.

Jeodo Brandybuck

Author Reply: Hello, Jeodo! It's good to see you again!

I hope the fic lives up to your expectations--it *is* a little bit macabre, at least by my standards--but I had fun writing it.

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