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A Lesser Treason  by Jay of Lasgalen 15 Review(s)
pipinheartReviewed Chapter: 2 on 12/29/2005


You can feel the pain Elrohir feels as Elladan judges how he should have acted with the ring. He dosen't understand and that pain hurts Elrohir deeper. Elladan should have been more supported no matter what he felt.
And then thinking your father would condeme you as well has to hurt...

Author Reply: Elladan will be supportive eventually - the revelation came as a shock, and he lashed out. He will understand in time - but poor Elrohir just can't see that yet.

pipinheartReviewed Chapter: 2 on 12/29/2005

FirstMateReviewed Chapter: 2 on 12/19/2005
What a wonderful idea for a story! It's one thing to say "Yeah, the rings try to corrupt people" but it's another to actually get into the mind of someone who's struggling against it. And you do such a marvelous job of describing the internal battle Elrohir wages. It's really kind of unsettling to imagine what kind of things the ring picks up on--all the little petty disagreements, the hurt feelings, the irritations that one faces in life. It could grab onto any of those, magnify their significance, and then...you're trapped. I sure am glad there isn't some nasty ring going around in our world...I don't believe I'd want to see what weakness of mine it would choose to exploit! Anyway, I think it took a lot of strength for Elrohir to overcome its pull and I hope Elrond helps him see that. Fabulous story so far!!

Author Reply: I tried to think what the Ring would be able to offer Elrohir - I don't think he'd be interested in power or glory, but would be tempted by the ability to end evil, heal all hurts, and keep his home and family safe.

It was difficult to get inside Elrohir's mind to show the effect the Ring had, but I'm glad it seemed to work!

DotReviewed Chapter: 2 on 12/8/2005
You really are doing a great job in showing the effect that the Ring has on Elrohir – the internal battle is quite horrifying and you create a very dizzying sense of the images rushing through his mind - and I like that you show its strength in the physical effect on him too. I thought his simple “No” when he makes the choice is very effective. It’s such a pity that he doesn’t realise that this shows how much strength and goodness is in him.

Frodo’s trust in Elrohir and concern for him is a nice touch. It makes it all the more unsettling.

Elladan’s reaction was done very well. He is calm and a little concerned at first but then explodes – and there seems to be an element of fear in that as well as anger and disbelief. If it can come so close to corrupting his twin, Elladan must wonder about himself, and about those with less willpower. It’s hard to see Elrohir so full of despair and self-loathing. Elladan didn’t really reject him; these thoughts must still be a remnant of the Ring’s effect. I’m glad Elladan shows his support so obviously at the end – hopefully that will ease some of Elrohir’s doubt. And yes, Elrond does need to be told. I think he might be a little saddened but while most people probably like to think they can resist the Ring, he has the wisdom to know that complacency is dangerous. I hope he can persuade his son that in his resistance he showed tremendous courage and strength – that he does not need to feel guilt or shame.

This is great :-)


Author Reply: :)

Thanks! I'm glad you picked up the dreadful confusion and disorientation Elrohir felt from the Ring - and his final 'no' in rejecting it for good. His thoughts are still clouded, though, which is why he sees Elladan's understandable shock as a rejection.

Elrond will also be rather shocked, but he will be sympathetic, and be in a position to help them both understand how the Ring can corrupt.

elliskaReviewed Chapter: 2 on 12/1/2005
Poor Elrohir. I imagine that would be a very frightening experience and one that would be difficult for him to understand or forgive himself for. I think Elrnod might have a bit more of an idea of what the power of the Ring is like and I hope he can help both the twins. I love this sort of story though--seeing the reactions of the characters and especially to something like this. I am really enjoying this.

Author Reply: Elrohir's guilt, and the things he saw himself doing, are going to be difficult for him to overcome. Elladan still doesn't understand how Elrohir could fall victim to the Ring, but he's decided that this is still his brother, no matter what. Elrond is going to have some difficult persuading ahead to make them both realise that Elrohir's rejection of temptation is the vital aspect here.

So glad to hear that you're enjoying this!

Tithen FeredirReviewed Chapter: 2 on 12/1/2005
Elrohir's horror at his dark thoughts and what he almost did was heartwrenching.
The ring twisted his thoughts to things so completely at odds to his true self. It had to be terrifying to almost lose himself to ultimate evil. Elladan's dismay was understandable, but it's good that he overcame it in the end because his brother really needs his support. I'm afraid Elrohir's present self-loathing is just another opening the ring can exploit.

I think the hobbits, with their guileless sweetness, created a contrast that made Elrohir's near-seduction all the more scary. Good story! ~TF



Author Reply: Elrohir feels dreadful now, both because of what so nearly happened, and because he listened to the Ring in the first place. And then to think he'd lost Elladan's love and support ...

I'm glad you liked the hobbits. Although Frodo had a fleeting suspicion, he can't believe evil of any of the elves, and Sam's mention of supper is enough to distract him. Perhaps he doesn't realise that elves don't feel 'unwell' for no apparent reason.

LiannaReviewed Chapter: 2 on 12/1/2005
Poor Elrohir!

I hope he realizes soon that the important thing is not that he was tempted, but that he resisted.

And I hope Elladan realizes it, too.

Somehow, I think Elrond already knows.

This a really good story idea. I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

Author Reply: ' The important thing is not that he was tempted, but that he resisted. ' Yes - but Elrohir doesn't see it like this yet. Elrond's task will be making both his sons see it.

Glad you're enjoying this! I'll post the next part when I get back from holiday.

BodkinReviewed Chapter: 2 on 12/1/2005
Come on, Elladan. If you think it is easy to withstand the beguiling of the Ring, it's because it hasn't tried you yet. As I suspect Elrond will know. Even though Elrohir is going to be beating himself up over this for the rest of time. It will take Elrond to help him see that knowing evil and rejecting it takes even more strength than living in ignorance of it.

Poor Elrohir. I'm looking forward to more. Soon, please!

Author Reply: I think part of Elladan's reaction is fear - if the Ring can do this to Elrohir, it can do it to him as well. His twin's reaction hasn't helped Elrohir's sense of guilt, though - now he feels worse than ever. Maybe the Ring isn't finished yet ...

Elrond will help them both to see sense: 'knowing evil and rejecting it' is the key here.

I won't be able to update next week, as we're away for a winter holiday (a week in Dulverton, on Exmoor). I'll be taking my laptop though, and will keep writing!

French PonyReviewed Chapter: 2 on 12/1/2005
Here one can see just how insidiously evil the Ring really is. Not only does it tempt Elrohir with really disturbing images that manage to horrify and attract him at the same time, it leaves him feeling horrible and guilt-stricken in a way that very few people will appreciate, witness Elladan's reaction. I have a feeling that Elrond will be much more merciful than Elrohir expects, but that can't be great comfort to him at the moment. I'm glad he's got Elladan at his back.

Author Reply: The Ring is evil. It can use a person's strengths and turn them to weaknesses, and it can twist Elrohir's desire to protect his home to evil.

Elladan's initial shock is perhaps understandable - this is his twin; and if the Ring can corrupt even Elrohir, what hope is there for anyone else? He's beginning to see sense now, though.

KittyReviewed Chapter: 2 on 12/1/2005
Poor Elrohir, that was a terrible experience! I hope he doesn't suffer too much from it - after all, he resisted the temptation of the ring and without someone interfering! And after Frodo didn't notice it at all, he could have kept it secret, but was honest enough to tell Elladan and now goes to tell his father, in spite of his fear of their rejection. I hope he can see that that is much more important than his short temptation - he was strong enough to resist! I hope Elrond thinks so, too, and can convince him of this. Although I wouldn't be surprised if Elrohir will be harder with himself than the others.

Author Reply:
'he resisted the temptation of the ring and without someone interfering'

That's the important point here - he overcame it on his own, without outside help. Now he knows he has to warn Elrond just how dangerous the Ring is.

Poor Elrohir doesn't see it that way yet, though. He's still on a guilt trip:(

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