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|Between Dream and Wakening by Lily Dragonquill||5 Review(s)|
|demeter d||Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 6/7/2006|
|I just read "A Place to Belong", and decided to visit here a bit longer, and I had not read this one yet. This is amazing! I can see now why Pippin wanted to trade his sisters for Frodo! You have drawn us into the world of nightmares here. It took me a few lines before I caught on to the transition between eight year old Pippin's dream and older Pippin's reaction to just having been rescued from very real dangers in the Old Forest. And I would say, his dreams have definitely matured at this point! The enchantress glowing with green light was a very nice touch. It evoked chilly images of glowing sea creatures slithering in the depths of cold oceans, or insects tucked in corners of a decaying forest. As always in your writing, sight, sound, smell, touch and emotion are well combined. I enjoyed this very much.|
Author Reply: My, thank you so much. Your comment means a lot to me. I remember writing this one was kind of a challenge. I was not sure whether I really had the ability to plunge into the realm of nightmare and let the reader feel the darkness as much as the character.
That change between eight year old Pippin and the Pippin in Bombadil's house seems to have been a bit difficult for many, though the story needs this "blur" so to not break the entchantress' spell. But I think it gets clear pretty quickly that Pippin is no longer a child.
|Inkling||Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/15/2005|
|What an interesting idea...an earth-bound siren! Very spooky; reminded me a bit of the Dead Marshes with the attraction of the lights. |
The shifting from memory to dream, and from child to tween was nicely done, as was the weaving of Pippin's childhood fears with his experience in the Old Forest and his apprehension about the journey ahead. I loved how even the trees became fearful!
Nice use of the poem...I messed a bit with poetry in my last story too. It's fun, isn't it?
Author Reply: It is fun indeed! I liked the idea of weaving things together so that in the end not even I was sure whether Pippin was still dreaming or awake :)
|Gwynnyd||Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/14/2005|
|My! What a precocious Pippin! Either that or a very recursive dream - adult Pippin dreaming he was child Pippin dreaming he was trapped at the Barrowdowns. Quite eerie and very well done. |
Author Reply: Thanks a lot! In fact I wanted to have child Pippin have a dream and then jump 20 years in time so that the second half of the dream would be that of tween Pippin. :)
|estelnalissi||Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/13/2005|
|Fear no vitiation from me. Did I use that gem of a new word correctly? |
Good for you. You dare to surprise. You've broken the mold!
Pippin haunted so relentlessly throughout his life? Unthinkable! He hid it so well, I never knew.
What a gripping song. Is it contemporary or old? I always favor hobbit fic which incorporates poetry and song as Tolkien did. I was impressed and drawn along by your seamless transitions from Pippin's real experience to his musing to the nightmares which matured with him. I cringed that that foul, putrid, zombie deceived him so cruelly in the form of an irresistable lass. How dare she touch our Pippin! Yes you did creep me out in the style of Edgar Pangborne. Poor Pippin is haunted and targeted to be damned. I'm haunted, too.
Author Reply: Thank you so much for reading! I'm glad you enjoyed it. The song is from Amber und Gefährten who make music to a German RPG. I've only translated some lines from it and changed them to my liking. So, in some way, they are a bit "old" :)
|Ariel||Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/10/2005|
|Well, this just WON'T do! I can't see this eeriely provocative piece languishing here with no reviews! It isn't right! |
I remembered thinking that the beginning sounded like your writing and so did the end, but the middle, the dream sequence was more poetry than prose! I mean it! I think you must have been taken over by the siren you were channelling because it was really compelling.
A lovely piece and all the parts of it show a steady and gratifyingly noticable improvement in your story telling and language skills. You vindicate my efforts as a beta by your hard work and determination to improve. I am very proud of you.
Author Reply: Ariel, I don't think I will ever be able to thank you properly for all you have done for me. Without you I would never have come this far. Thank you for your patience and encouragement over this past year.
Concerning the dream sequence: this was a lot of fun to write. No rules, no restrictions, just my imagination in full bloom.