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| A Tangled Melody by Loremaster of Anorien | 1 Review(s) |
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| Raksha The Demon | Reviewed Chapter: 2 on 5/10/2005 |
| A promising story. Watch the characters' use of the Valar's names to swear by - that hardly ever happens in LOTR, people of Middle-earth have virtually no organized religion, and very rarely swear by the gods. More likely they say 'cursed' for bad stuff. Your heroine's aunt Morwen, in one paragraph, swears by Orome, Nienna and Aule, which is a bit much. I love the detail about the lute; and your use of Sindarin is quite good. I look forward to seeing where you go with this story. Author Reply: Thanks, Raksha! I'll add your bit to my "Things I'll change soon, but not right now" file. Alas, while I try to apply advice to future fics, I'm lazy about repairing earlier fics. Sure, I fix typos and stuff, but anything that requires a rewrite tends to be put off for a LONG time. Do you have anything to say about characterization? Is Aredhel or Morwen or Naneth/Gilmeren a Sue? Is there anything wrong with the dialogue and usage of words? I have this nagging feeling that I use waaay too many contractions. Thanks! Namarie! Loremaster | |