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| Shattered Illusions by Loremaster of Anorien | 4 Review(s) |
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| Elena Tiriel | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 5/1/2005 |
| Hi Loremaster! This is a lovely vignette... the imagery was rich, the events sounded "right", and the voice of the narrator was appropriately regretful. I like the fact that the narrator was so humble: he didn't want riches, but simple gifts for his family. You made it so clear that Sauron would tailor his promises to the people he was subverting. I also liked your names. I am working on a drabble series, partly focused on the Balchoth in their homelands, waiting for their warriors to come home from the Battle of the Field of Celebrant. I enjoyed seeing some of the same themes in your story (particularly the dark rumors afterward) that I'm using in those. (The difference is, Sauron survived that time period...) I have two *very* small criticisms: one, the word "warpath" is somewhat modern and is associated with Native Americans, so seeing it pulled me away from your story momentarily. Might I suggest "path of war" instead, which doesn't have the same associations? And second, it was distracting for the notes at the beginning and end to be in bold; my eye kept traveling to them while I was trying to focus on the body of the story. Nice work, Loremaster! I hope to see more stories in the future... - Barbara Author Reply: *Mouth drops open* You're complimenting little old me, the thirteen-year old newbie at HASA and SoA? Sweet Eru, I feel so honored. Thank you for complimenting my imagery and unnamed hero. I'm still learning the ropes writing entertaining, technically good fanfiction that sticks to canon, and those compliments invigorated my confidence a good deal. I try my best to create realistic characters and adhere to the original text. I, too, like the names which is why I chose them for the fic. I have a fondness for pronounceable, yet interesting names which is why I chose to look up Hindi/Sanskrit names rather than stick random letters together and poof! there's a name. I attempted to enter Sauron's mind and figure out how he seduced these people into war. I decided that he probably lured the greedier ones with gold and riches and the nobler ones like my hero with tales of evil done to his fellow Easterling men, preying on their sense of honor and compassion. As for the nick-picks, thanks muchly. I'm a nit-picker myself though I'm afraid I'm loathe to change warpath. I like that word a bit too much, and I was kind of going for an East Indian/Native American type of culture. Thank you for the suggestion about my author's notes. I'll keep that in mind for future fics. Thanks! Namarie! Loremaster | |
| docmon | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 5/1/2005 |
| this was a terrific look into the mind of those usually considered 'The Enemy' and nothing more. I really enjoyed seeing how they could be construed as people lured into something, and so somewhat innocent, or at least, not entirely guilty. No one is entirely anything, so I appreciate this perspective into the 'other side.' Well done and well written. Nice job! Author Reply: Thank you! I believe no one is totally evil, even those considered enemies. After all, each side likes to convince themselves that the enemy is evil and inhuman, making it easier to kill them. Thanks for the compliments about my prose. I'm in a state of bliss at the moment from all these compliments. Yes, I believe that the Easterlings were pulled in with guile and deceit. There must have been something in it for them if they fought for Morgoth in Nirnaeth and other wars and later on Sauron. Alas, they were doomed whether Sauron won or not. Sauron was the type to stab you in the back after you gave up everything for him. Thanks! Namarie! Loremaster | |
| Mum's the Word | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 5/1/2005 |
| Another thumbs-up for you! How well you've described the strengths and weaknesses of the people whom the Dark Lord deceived -- each according to his culture, values -- and, yes, desires. I hope your grandmothers appreciate this creative gift! Happy birthday to them! Blessings to you, Mum Author Reply: Thank you, Mum's the Word! I've been fascinated by the Haradrim and the Easterlings for quite some time now. I firmly believe no person is totally evil, and I tried to show that belief in this story. Thank you for the shout-out to my Grandma and Ma, my paternal and maternal grandmothers respectively. I find it amusing both my grandmothers and myself were born in the same month. Namarie! / Loremaster | |
| Larner | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 5/1/2005 |
| Ah, definitely the means by which this ones people would be enticed to their deaths by Sauron the Liar and Accursed. Very well written, and love the names. Author Reply: Muchas Gracias! Thank you very much! I'm glad you like my fic. I was a bit worried posting here because the fanfics here are amazing, but I'm relieved at least one person likes a fic of mine. I tried to think what would entice a mortal man, a being with flaws, dreams, and hopes, to fight a people he does not know in a foreign land. I'm happy you thought those were plausible means. Thanks for the comment about the names. I like them, too. Namarie! Loremaster | |