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Fatty Bolger's Year  by Speedy Hobbit 1 Review(s)
LindeleaReviewed Chapter: 2 on 7/21/2004
Nice to read your take on this incident. You're differentiating your minor characters nicely: Estella rather more interested in news of Merry than the others, for some reason Fatty cannot fathom; Folco Boffins (or is it Boffin? I can never remember and always have to look it up) is known for his temper.

One word jarred: paranoia. I have been wracking my brain to think of a Middle-earth equivalent to this Freudian-sounding term. Perhaps saying something like "Freddy could not shake the feeling of being watched, no matter how nonsensical it seemed to his orderly mind."

Not that you have to write *that* sentence; I forget whether your Freddy has an orderly mind, for instance. (I plead heat exhaustion.) But something like that would get you out of using "paranoia" which surely other readers besides myself might find an uneasy fit.

Good job! Glad there's another chapter after this one.

Author Reply: Thank you for your constructive criticism pertaining to the word paranoia! I have to remember that it is a Freudian term, and shake the habit of using vocabulary words that are anachronisms.

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