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|Interrupted Journeys: Part 3 Journeys Begin by elliska||6 Review(s)|
|lwarren||Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 4/3/2005|
|I'm keeping this review short so I don't mix up the chapters again LOL! |
The whole scene with Thranduil and Lindomiel coming in late and looking ridiculously pleased with themselves and the world was outstanding! I love Thranduil's relationship with his pesky, smart-aleck brother! They are good together and seem to balance each other nicely...when Thranduil is not contemplating the best way to skewer Arudannon (sp?) that is! :-)
Trial? What trial?
The whole last part with that mysterious trouble-making elf is really starting to scare me. She's up to no good, and drawing others in with her. Not good, not good at all. (BTW, you are really good at writing intrigue and politics!)
Author Reply: LOL! I thought that two people who just spent a marvelous night might appear a little ridiculous sitting around the family breakfast table the next morning. I couldn't resist doing that. I like Thranduil and Aradunnon too. I think a brother like that may make Thranduil want to skewer him sometimes (had a good laugh over that comment) but they love each other and are good for each other. Aradunnon helps Thranduil remember to have fun.
The part with the troublemaking elf is scary. She is very good at causing trouble and she has a lot of material to work with in a place like Mirkwood. Thranduil has trouble on his hands and he's only seen the tip of the iceberg. I'm glad you think the intrigue and politics come across ok. It is hard for me to tell if they are or not because I know the whole story with the troublemakers. It is hard for me to measure if that storyline is too heavy-handed or too confusing. So I appreciate the feedback.
Again, thanks so much for the reviews! It was just so much fun seeing all of them!
|Brazgirl||Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 3/20/2005|
|Elliska, I hope you get better soon. It was lovely the way Thranduil gave people good news! So lovely. I like his brother teasing his son like that. Indeed the lady seems nice to drag him to some fun. We all need some... Even Thranduil! See? Now he is happy and smiling.|
Those elves in the end scare me... they trully do! Great chapter, as always.
Author Reply: Hi Brazgirl!
Yes, Thranduil and Lindomiel are happy, of course. And so are Aradunnon and Amoneth. And you hit on exactly the point: we all do need some fun. Thranduil had to be talked into the joys of parenthood and I think it will be even harder to drag Dolgailon to a little fun. But Arthiel will try. :)
Those elves at the end should scare you. They are bad news. :) Thanks for reading and thanks for the reviews.
|daw the minstrel||Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 3/20/2005|
|At last I have time to read this chapter! And I really enjoyed all three interesting sections, but my favorite was the part in Dale. I was intrigued by the suggestion that Elves were conspiring with the Easterlings. I hadn't anticipated that at all. It was a nicely tense trial too. I wasn't sure how things were going to come out.|
The glimpse into history was also intriguing although I still can't quite see what Marti's beef in all this is. She must have been drawn into things somehow.
And bring on the elfling. I'm worried about the queen. In the opening of this story, as I recall, we see Legolas but no Nana. I should go back and look.
Author Reply: Hi Daw. I hope you enjoyed your conference. :)
The trial here was educational for me to write because I know nothing about that aspect of life either in modern times or early modern times. So I learned some stuff looking at early modern sources of info on legal proceedings (some of what I learned I am trying very hard to forget:) I'm definitely glad to live now and not in Medieval England). I had cut that part because this chap is so long and had other things in it but I did a little rearranging when FP mentioned she would like to see more of what happened in Dale. I'm glad she suggested that because it made the story better. I'm glad you didn't see the Eaterling/Elves thing coming. Surprise is good. But that will get a little more attention as time goes on.
As for Marti, you're not supposed to see what she is about yet. :) You have only the most fundamental bit of info now. More pieces are dribbled out along the way (this chapter is actually the biggest chunk of info in one place in the entire series). By the time Legolas comes of age you have all the info, but only someone who really wants to sit down and think it out will put it together and I don't really think anyone would do that. Marti remains an annoying mystery until the War of the Ring and then everything is laid out for you. Even then she doesn't go away though.
But this chap has the last glimpse into the past, Thranduil's or Marti's, that I wrote intending to include in this story. I toyed for a while last night with the idea of adding a few more but I think my beta talked me out of that this morning.
Yes, the elflings. That is what my beta and I are debating right now. What stays and what goes for the rest of the chapters. And I am finding myself as anxious as she is for once to get to the elflings. :) You are correct that Nana is not in the opening chapter.
Thanks for the reviews Daw. I really love them.
|Bodkin||Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 3/19/2005|
|Very interesting!! All the stuff about the raven-haired cousin of Celebrimbor - and her attitude towards the Sindar. I wonder how she comes into it!!! |
(I sometimes feel that Galadriel must have been tempted to bang her head on the wall when dealing with this lot - Celebrimbor must have driven her nearly as insane as Oropher. Good thing that Celeborn was proficient at keeping his temper. Maybe a mountain range between all parties was a Good Thing.)
And everybody is jumping up and down with glee at the prospect of a little Thranduilion. (Or they don't seem decided yet as to whether it might be a little Thranduiliel. I have foresight. It'll be a son.) It must be odd to know from the moment of conception - plus make the pregnancy seem really really long. Though I suppose that's relative and, if you are several thousands years old, a year won't be too bad.
The scene with Fengel was very good - worrying that the steward was suspicious, and the traitors put up a pretty good fight. I'm glad Fengel had the sense to look for corroborative evidence that backed up the accusations of treachery. It would have been quite easy to convince a lot of people that the villagers were being set up by the outsiders. Sensible of Hallion to want to get information from them about Easterners going in and out of the forest. (I'd look for the involvement of a dark-haired elleth who is rather generous with her donations to village events, if I were you.)
I'm glad you're feeling better and are back to providing more intrigue. Hope you continue to improve rapidly.
Author Reply: Yes, there is really quite a bit about our long necked waterfowl of sable plumage here--some more obvious, some less obvious. But there is still a great amount to learn. Her attitude towards the Sindar is pretty obvious at this point but being who she is (and I see her as a cousin from Celebrimbor's mother's side in the interest of not adding on to canon family trees to awkwardly) only accounts for part of her motive to hate the House of Oropher. More on that is indeed still to come.
I do love Galadriel. A good deal of backstory here comes from the Second Age and Ost-in-Edhil. I loved reading all that when I was researching who our Black Swan could be. I wish Tolkien had written more on it. And yes, I can actually picture Galadriel and Celeborn banging heads (although maybe not their own) on walls when having to deal with Celebrimbors and Orophers. :) I agree that a mountain range--a nice impassable one--was definitely a Good Thing!
Ahh foresight--that gift you have must account for why you write Galadriel so well. You share a common trait. :) Yes, I think we do have a son on the way. And I agree that the Elves would know very early on if not immediately the gender of their child. Surely they would be that in tune with it. That would be fascinating. But still, a year of pregnancy seems very long to me. :) I will just pretend that elves would be so wrapped up in it that they would enjoy it. Ugh!
I'm glad you liked the scene with Fengel. I wanted it to not seem cut and dry. I aggree that a lot of Men would have been more likely to believe their own kind over the word of an outsider Elf who admitted to going into Mannish territory and killing people. I think there was potential for serious trouble there. Fengel however, seems to have a liking for Elves and enough sense to look for evidence because he still has to deliver justice. But he definitely had a presumption of guilt from the begining. The Northmen just escaped slavery under the Easterlings. He probably remembers those dark times though he would have been very young. But he is definitely very suspicious of them. And canon tells us that's a healthy fear because in 4 more years they are going to launch an all out attack against Rhovanion and Gondor.
But you are right that Hallion is wise to be concerned as well and I think you are demonstrating that power of foresight again when it comes to looking for the involvement of dark-haired ellyth. :)
Thank you for the well wishing and the review. I'm very glad people do not seem to have been too put off by the 3 week hiatus. And I just love the reviews on this site. :)
|The Karenator||Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 3/19/2005|
|What a powerful chapter, Elliska. So much good stuff happened. |
A baby is on the way and the realm rejoices. The king is smug and the queen is 'motherly'. I imagine this baby was big news since the king had been so reluctant to bring a child into the shadow-draped world. And it took all night to conceive this child? I'm surprise that the king and queen made breakfast at all!
The trial was great. What a good job you did. The news about Easterlings being seen in the forest was not good news. I don't blame Hallion at all for wanting more information about this. I have sneaking suspicion that I know who the elves were that were meeting with the bad guys.
The remembered scene was good. I loved seeing Oropher in action. He doesn't get much written time since he was long gone by the time the Ring War happened and we are introduced to Tolkien's characters. Celeborn and Galadriel were well done too. The air of animosity hung over the interactions between the Noldor and the Sinda so thickly that we could have cut it with a knife. And all this was from Marni's POV. Just great. It was Marni, right? The name change in the last scene sort of confused me. I don't know my Sindarin and Quenya very well.
And the father/son talk. I loved it. Aradunnon is a pretty free-wheeling ada. Thranduil would have hit the ceiling. I was as shocked as Dolgailon that his parents were hanging out with the 'rough' crowd. There's always one party couple in every family.
I hope you're doing better and can get back into the swing of things. I hate to be unsympathetic, but I want you get back on your posting schedule! Well, I do want you to feel better too.
I'm looking forward to the next chapter. This is really heating up!
Author Reply: Hi Karen,
Thanks for the review and I'm glad you enjoyed it! I think you are right that this announcement did surprise pretty much everyone since Thranduil's been saying 'no way' for so long. All night...a very fun night, I imagine but I agree with you--I doubt I would have bothered with breakfast, except I think Lindomiel wanted to tell everyone. :)
I'm glad you liked the trial. I had fun researching how that type of thing goes. I didn't want it to sound like 'Law and Order' or an OJ transcript but I don't know wnything about law, so that was an education. I think your suspicions about the elves' connection to the Easterlings are probably correct. :)
I like these memories in these stories too. I originally included them because I wanted to show how I saw a major event in Thranduil's childhood--the dwarves' attack on Menegroth and the death of his cousin/loss of his own innocence so that I could contrast that with some events in Legolas's life later on. And I had this last one to reveal a bit more about the "Black Swan," as she has been dubbed, and her connection to the House of Oropher. So, this was actually the last one that I originally wrote for this story except a very short one in the epilogue. But when I was editing this story before posting it and I started re-reading all this stuff (which was actually the first part I wrote--this series originally started here) I really got into the flashbacks so I wrote some more First and Second Age stuff about Oropher that is turning into another series. I am thinking about putting a few more of those scenes in here. Anyway...you can tell from that very long run on sentence why I have not been posting--I can understand that sentence; how 'bout you? :)
I'm glad you liked the father/son talk. It's very different from yours but Thranduil and Aradunnon are very different. Thranduil will hit the ceiling in just a few stories when confronted with a similar discovery, so you are very correct! :)
PS: Marti/Manarindė/Manadhien aka the Black Swan is supposed to be a bit confusing so you have nothing to worry about. But your Quenya/Sindarin is good enough for you to know that you are dealing with both languages and that is more than I would have gotten if I hadn't written this thing. I like playing with names. In this case, they all are the same name, the first two Quenyan and the last--the one she'll stick with for a while--is its Sindarin adaptation.
And thanks for the well wishing. I was truly afraid that after a three week hiatus, most everyone would have forgotten this story so your encouragement in reviews has kept my spirits up. :)
|French Pony||Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 3/18/2005|
|Hmmm. I sense the presence of a long-necked waterfowl of sable plumage. . . |
But in the meantime, mazel tov to Thranduil and Lindomiel! Of course, they get to pay for their nightlong romp by having to admit to what they were doing in front of their families. Especially Dieneryn. "G'morning, Mom. I spent the whole night schtupping Lindomiel. Did you sleep okay?" But it had the desired result, and the baby gifts just pour in. Lindomiel and Amoneth are going to have a great time being pregnant together. They'll be meeting all the time to compare notes and bellies.
And the trial! I was hoping we'd get to see that. An intriguing setup, more continental than Anglo-American. There was definitely a presumption of guilt, which seems to have disturbed Dolgailon. He knew these guys were guilty, but all the same, he seemed put off by the hostility with which the court addressed the defendants. This says something very good about his character.
Fengel is clearly not much for examination of witnesses, but he is indeed a great one for forensics. The defendant is convicted by witness testimony and physical evidence, though he isn't really given much of a chance to speak in his own defense in open court. The Dale justice system gets a B overall, I think. But I enjoyed reading the trial, and I'm glad you included it.
Author Reply: Hi French Pony.
You've done it to me again. :-) I think your senses are correct and that really made me laugh.
Yes, the 'morning after' is always something of a Situation. :) There was actually a bit more teasing along those lines in that dialogue but it got cut as I looked for anything that I could remove from this super long chapter without taking out things that needed to be there. It may have been over the top anyway, but you made me giggle when you brought it up. And I do think Lindomiel and Amoneth will have fun being pregnant together. A year! Ugh! Glad I'm not an elf.
That trial was actually written but cut (since this chapter is so long and there was some other stuff here that I moved to later chapters). But since you mentioned in another review that you'd like to see the results of the stuff in Dale, I fished it out of my 'cut' document and put it back rather than just summarizing it in dialogue. I'm glad you mentioned it because I like it better this way.
I agree with everything you said there--Dolgailon is being especially careful because he's a little concerned and Fengel definitely wouldn't pass the USA bar exam. I had fun doing the trial scene because I know absolutely nothing about law (Anglo-American / continental / modern / early modern / whatever--I know nothing). So I looked into some legal stuff from some medieval Spanish sources that I have easy access to. Holy Cow! Was that a fascinating education! I decided the ME legal system was definitely not going to be quite that severe but I didn't want it to be modern USA either. So I looked at the few instances in canon that we get to see anyone pass judgment on anyone (there's quite a bit in the Silm, actually) and this is where I landed . :) I think a 'B' by modern standards was pretty generous of you :) but I also think the traitors did get enough of a chance to hang themselves--literally.
Thanks so much for the reviews! I was really afraid that after three weeks, people would have forgotten this little story all together so it means a lot.