Stories of Arda Home Page
About Us News Resources Login Become a member Help Search

Along Came A Spider  by Jay of Lasgalen 7 Review(s)
DeepBlueSomethingReviewed Chapter: 8 on 1/24/2005
Hi Jay! Sorry I am so late in reviewing.

The reunion scene with Taniquel was great. She was so sure she would return to find Elrohir dead and her joy at finding him nearly recovered was really sweet. I liked how she was so discreet in helping Elrohir out. She made sure he had the lightest pack and then inconspicuously slipped her arm through his so he wouldn't stumble.

My other favorite moment was when Elrohir thanked Calmacil for all he had done. I'm would imagine Calmacil doesn't often get thanked for his hard work and it feels really good when he does. Anyway, it was very sweet of Elrohir to take a second to show his appreciation

Author Reply: Taniquel was *very* pleased to see her fears for Elrohir were wrong - but she could still see how tired he was. By asking him to help *her*, he couldn't refuse to go back indoors.

Elrohir particularly appreciated the help Calmacil gave Elladan, even more than the fact that they'd saved his life. He knew just how bad Elladan would have been feeling - because he's been there himself.

Thanks for the review - and I never mind late!

NilmandraReviewed Chapter: 8 on 12/25/2004
I like how easily Taniquel managed to get Elrohir back inside and supported him in the process. Some people have a real gift that way. Looking forward to the race - and I'm sure the wood elves will make sure Elrohir is there to see it, even if they have to bundle him up like an elfling and prop him upright. A place of honor, even!

Author Reply: Oh, don't worry - Elrohir will be there, unaided too. He's definitely getting better.

Taniquel is good for him. I don't do romance, but if I did, and Elrohir ever married, he'd marry her.


LiannaReviewed Chapter: 8 on 12/20/2004
Don't worry about not finishing the story. Your readers are in no hurry. It's interesting to see the characters and the way they interact, especially now, when we're no longer worried about Elrohir's survival.

I love the line "Elrohir opened his eyes – when had he closed them?" Haven't we all had experiences like that, where we've dozed off or almost dozed off without realizing it? Poor Elrohir. He won't really feel normal emotionally until he feels normal physically.

Author Reply: Yes, poor Elrohir. He's not used to dozing off like that; it feels odd, but now he keeps doing it - first in the bath, then in the stables.

Now that they are not worried about Elrohir, Elladan, Legolas and the others can enjoy a little fun - hence the race.

Thanks for not minding that there's another chapter to come!

BodkinReviewed Chapter: 8 on 12/20/2004
It must have been a real boost for Elrohir to be the one sitting on the edge of the bath while Elladan soaked away his aches and pains. For the first time in days, he wasn't the one in need of care.

That relationship between Taniquel and Elrohir is developing most interestingly! She is great at caring for him subtly, so that he barely realises she is supporting him. (And what's to object to, anyway, in being in contact with his favourite warrior!) She must have been ecstatic to see him looking so well, when she was expecting to hear of his death.

So Elrohir's horse isn't keen to carry Elladan. Why not? Is he a one person horse, like some dogs? Or is Elladan less clever in the saddle? The race sounds as if it will be interesting - but if you feel like taking the story further, please feel free.

I do like Calmacil - he is a very skilled healer. Quite good at dodging questions, too. (Poor Thalion - Elrohir will have to calm him down. Wouldn't want to leave him shaking!)

Author Reply: Poor Thalion seems a little scared of Elrohir now - it was The Look that did it! He'll get over it. A very young apprentice healer shouldn't patronise an elven lord.

Alagos doesn't really mind Elladan, but he'd rather it was Elrohir, that's all. I think the twins would be equally good riders, but Elrohir understands horses more.

Taniquel and Elrohir - I don't intend to write a romance there, but they are very close. As Sam said in the film, if Elrohir was to marry anyone, it would be Taniquel (though Sirithiel might object.)

Thanks for the review!

French PonyReviewed Chapter: 8 on 12/19/2004
Well, if they're bickering about horses now, that's probably a sign that things are going to be okay. It must be awfully disconcerting for Elrohir to hear these little bits and pieces of news about what happened while he was sick and just how close he came to dying.

Author Reply: Yes, if the twins are bickering and teasing, they're back to normal, or nearly so. And when they start plotting together - Legolas had better look out!

DotReviewed Chapter: 8 on 12/19/2004
Oh, I wouldn’t worry about not getting to the race. Your pacing here is absolutely perfect and I really appreciated the chance to see the little details involved in Elrohir’s first day of trying to reclaim a sense of normality.

It seems that now that Elladan has been able to release some of his anxiety he can tune in to his surroundings a bit more. Still, it must be such a relief to finally be able to escape that little room and develop his own routine again rather than live by others’. I loved the bath scene, with the two brothers plotting together. There’s such a sense that the discussing back and forth, the teasing was something they’ve always done and it’s so lovely to see it again. And that definitely sounds like the best plan for the race!

Ouch. I had forgotten that Elrohir didn’t know what happened to Nólimon. That must be hard, especially because Elrohir knows exactly the agony in which he died.

Taniquel! I was wondering about her! Such a sad image, though, of her and Elladan crying so hopelessly together. At least her presence should do Elrohir some good. It sounds as though he’ll be fairly prone to moments of brooding for a while yet as he readjusts.

Their room sounds wonderfully cosy. Tionel seems to know how to make people comfortable. Poor old Lanatus was just in the wrong job. I’m quite glad he appears to have found one that he’s a lot more suited to!

I really, really like Calmacil. I like the way he explained away the bruises and he’s so great with Elrohir. He’s been through a lot with all this as well and there must be some mixed emotions for him to see this patient leave the infirmary. I was so glad that Elrohir thanked him for not just caring for him but for his brother too. That was a lovely moment.

I love the way Elrohir responds immediately to the air and the light. But at the same time you keep it realistic by letting his weariness and general sense of not being completely well come across clearly. At this stage it would be all too easy to over-do things but at least he has Elladan, his parents and now Taniquel to ensure he behaves! Taniquel is so good, letting him feel he is helping but still ensuring he has the lightest thing to carry and linking his arm in such a friendly way that will still offer him the support he’ll need in his exhaustion. Very well done.

I really enjoyed this chapter. I think what I liked most was the attention to the little details that you always do so well and the way you connect it to your other stories so that the places and characters become much more real. I’m looking forward to seeing whether Imladris or Lasgalen will be victorious in the race! :-)


Author Reply: I love your reviews, especially the way you highlight certain scenes. It lets me see how people react to each part of the story.

Elrohir is very much better, but as he admits himself, not quite right yet. The reminder that Nólimon died, and that everyone thought he would as well, makes him uneasy. He knows how hard it was for Elladan, though, and appreciates the support he was given.

Taniquel and Elrohir are very fond of one another, and she was quite sure she'd come home to find him dead :( She's overjoyed, but can see he still needs help.

I'm glad you like the details that build up the picture, and the references to other stories. Those past experiences are part of who these characters are.

Thanks for the review, Dot!

daw the minstrelReviewed Chapter: 8 on 12/19/2004
I for one am glad there's still another chapter.

As I was reading this, I was thinking about how nice the details are. There's such a sense of realism here, as if I'm seeing a real pair of brothers move out of the infirmary and try to pick their normal lives up again. You're patient enough to give us enough (and thus haven't finished the story yet) but not too much so that we grow tired of it. Just an all around nice job, Jay.

Author Reply: That's great to hear. I try to make the characters as real as possible, and want them to act naturally. The details help me to build up a picture of what's going on.

Thanks for the review - I'm glad you think I've got it about right.

Return to Chapter List