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Along Came A Spider  by Jay of Lasgalen 17 Review(s)
KalimaReviewed Chapter: 2 on 1/24/2005
See? See? See why I wait until stories are done? What if I had to stop here with the dying? Argh! Now I have to read on! I wasn't supposed to read the second chapter at all, but I have no willpower.

K

Author Reply: Dying? Do you really think I'd let Elrohir die? He's my favourite twin; I couldn't kill him! (Besides, he appears in many of my other storiwes, set later than this.)

Author Reply: Dying? Do you really think I'd let Elrohir die? He's my favourite twin; I couldn't kill him! (Besides, he appears in many of my other stories, set later than this.)

KalimaReviewed Chapter: 2 on 1/24/2005

RhapsodyReviewed Chapter: 2 on 10/8/2004
Oh no.. not Elrohir. Elladan will never survive this.. How can he leave Elladan behind?

The switch between PoV was marvellous, well done, it kept me on the edge of my seat. So Elrohir is being called to Mandos. Mmm I wonder what Mandos has to say to him.. or does the tie with Elladan pull him back? I am looking forward to the next chapter.

Your description of going through the pain.. yeah that was very vivid. I had chills when I read it.. Great work! When is chapter 3?

Author Reply: Chapter Three is about 2/3 written - but I'm not giving any clues away.

I'm glad you like the changing POV, we see most of the action through Elladan's eyes, but I also wanted to show what was happening to Elrohir, and just why he agrees to join Námo.

elliskaReviewed Chapter: 2 on 10/6/2004
I was thinking how tense the chapter was and then I got to the ending. Now that is one heck of an ending! Are you trying to drive us to the same end :) I always hated the spiders more than any enemy. They are just disgusting! Hope you post again soon.

Author Reply: As a result of my own story, and the research I did on the web about spiders, I ended up with a nightmare that there was a large spider sitting on my pillow last night. That'll teach me to be so descriptive! ;/

Poor Elrohir. Poor Elladan. I'm glad you liked the ending - or at least thought it effective!

NikaraReviewed Chapter: 2 on 10/5/2004
NO NO NO! That is a horrible place to leave off. You are very cruel. I know he can't die, but I still question. Add soon please!

Author Reply: Who says Elrohir can't die? ;/ Well, maybe not, but you will have to wait to see what happens. I'll write more asap - I'm enjoying this story too.

DeepBlueSomethingReviewed Chapter: 2 on 10/5/2004
Sorry about that. Completely forgot about reading the warning in all the excitement of the chapter.

Author Reply: *grin!* I'm just glad you enjoyed the chapter!

DotReviewed Chapter: 2 on 10/5/2004
*gasp* What a chapter. I don’t know whether to be excited, afraid or sad. I think I’ll settle for somewhere around anxious.

I like the way you went back over the events at the beginning, showing what happened from Elladan’s POV. As if things weren’t bad enough for the poor elf, he knows Elrohir was trying to protect him.

I felt rather bad for Amandil, actually – bet he regrets being so blunt about how the venom acts.

How amazing that Elrohir realised immediately that he shouldn’t take the aldain. His father would be proud of him :-(

Your descriptions of Elrohir’s suffering were so horrifically vivid. My heart went out to him. The worst thing was that he was conscious for so much of it - and with his knowledge of healing he was all too aware of what was happening to him.

Tirana made me smile, though. She’s so wonderfully calm and collected, the absolute epitome of an elven healer.

I hate to see poor Elladan in such despair. This must be one of his worst nightmares. Of course, knowing that Elrond and even Calmacil couldn’t do any more must make it all seem totally hopeless. The image of him looking after his twin so tenderly brought tears to my eyes.

And Nólimon died…:-( I wonder why some survive and some don’t…and Nólimon was bitten by a smaller spider too…

Námo? Námo?? Jay! What have you done?!! Actually, I do like your Námo. He seems gentler than I’d envisioned, which of course makes sense now that I think about it. I can see why what he offers seems so enticing to poor Elrohir in his agony. But still, that last line was such a “What the…?” moment. Roll on the next chapter!



Author Reply: I'm impressed that you can put the accent on the 'o' in Nolimon! I was going for 'tense' in this chapter, but anxious will do.

I wanted to show the spider attack from Elladan's POV as well, but the guilt of Elrohir being bitten while protecting him hasn't sunk in yet. It will.

Amandil's graphic descriptions won't help, but both twins are healers; and Elrohir knows only too well what the poison is doing to him - which is why he refused the aldain.

I think elven healers would be very calm and reassuring - I don't see them as the panicking sort, racing around like they do on Casualty or ER!

Poor Elladan is feeling pretty useless at the moment - all he can do is be there for Elrohir, but it isn't enough this time. Namo beckons, and right now he seems preferable to staying and being in pain :( :(

Author Reply: I think I know how to do Nólimon! :)

DeepBlueSomethingReviewed Chapter: 2 on 10/5/2004
Wow! Another great cliffie! As I said before, these cliffies really should be accompanied by medical warnings (LOL)! Something tells me that it will be his bond with Elladan that will save Elrohir. Poor Nolimon. At least he died quickly and didn't have to suffer very long. Please update quickly before I fall off this cliff I'm hanging from.

Author Reply: Well, there WAS a warning about angst and torture! And I upped the rating to PG13 as well.

That twin bond - yes, it could be important soon. But poor Nolimon didn't stand a chance. Statistics said that someone had to die, and he was only a minor character - and he wore a red tunic.

Update will be as fast as I can write, life permitting (my family wanting boring things like laundry, and meals at suppertime!!)

LKKReviewed Chapter: 2 on 10/5/2004
no.

no.


please? no?

Author Reply: Yes. Yes. Sorry - yes. But despite what you think, there is always hope - even a fool's hope (whoops, wrong character!)

Wait and see.

CarolReviewed Chapter: 2 on 10/5/2004
Noooo he must not go with Namo!!! He is need at home with his twin. They can never live apart11 Please say it isn't so.

Now that was an intense story. Way to go. You had me on the edge of my seat the whole way through.

I can't wait to see what happens next. Please post again very very soon.

Carol
Keeper of Legolas' favorite star..

Author Reply: I shall write as fast as I can; the plot bunnies are biting hard - but there are a couple of other stories I should be working on too.

You're right, Elladan needs him - so what is going to happen to the twins? I can't see one without the other. Thanks for the review!

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