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| Along Came A Spider by Jay of Lasgalen | 14 Review(s) |
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| Kalima | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 1/24/2005 |
| Since I just read that you'd finished this, I have crept forward to nibble. (I htink my metphor caomes from the story!) Rats! Now I bet I'll keep creeping back and get nothing done today! So very good. Excellent pacing for maximo interest. NOW what am I gonna do?! So much to do today! THis is why I keep putting off reading everyone's stories from this group. Soooo adicting. And thank you for the careful editing, as well as the story. I find stories that I long to dopyedit rather a distraction. Thank you for writing. K Author Reply: Thanks for that - I'm glad you like the pacing and interest level. I read and reread chapters several times before I post (I don't have a beta), so I'm glad that you don't feel the need to edit them! Jay | |
| Narello | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 11/15/2004 |
| Hey, I really like it! The only note that really jarred me was 'Oh gods'. I should think they'd have said 'oh Valar'? Seems more appropriate for Middle Earth. Other than that, I really like it so far. Author Reply: You could be right about that - I think I'll have to change it. Thanks! | |
| Rhapsody | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/8/2004 |
| Ok, I will treat those mini-shelobs around the house with more respect. I promise. Oh cripes and it bit Elrohir.. oh no.. Author Reply: Yes ... poor Elrohir. Beware of spiders! | |
| ettalie | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/2/2004 |
| "their bite is nearly always fatal"...I'm hanging on to that "nearly always". Author Reply: Yes - hold to that thought. And 'a few have survived'. I'm not promising anything, though - the next chapter is not looking good for either of the twins. :-( Thanks for reviewing! | |
| Bodkin | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/1/2004 |
| I was doing some very sad sums the other day, trying to work out the twins ancestry - they truly are related to everybody! And descended from most of them. This was partly because of the bit of me that says, every time they are called half-elven - 'Oh no they're not. If Elrond is half-elven and Celebrian is wholly elven, then the children are three quarters-elven.' I am perfectly willing to accept having got lost on the ancestry, because it is . . complicated, but I think that they are more Sindar (about 40%)than Noldor (about 9%)- and only 19% human. The rest being made up of Teleri, Vanya and Maia. But hey - brought up Noldor, away from trees. Author Reply: Don't worry, Bodkin - I've done the same calculations. I agree - the twins are NOT half elven, they are at least three-quarters elf. By my own calculations, Elladan, Elrohir and Arwen have Sindar, Noldor, Numenorean and Maiar blood (Arwen admits they are 'mongrels' in one story) and are also 'kin to every elven realm in Arda, and several realms of men' (Thranduil then says it is as well they are not overly ambitious - for obvious reasons!) It is sad, but I find their mixed ancestry very interesting! | |
| Nilmandra | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/1/2004 |
| Jay! I can't believe you hurt Elrohir again! I hate the spiders - have you ever seen Ted Nasmith's drawing of them? They are truly creepy. Good Octobor story for Halloween. Author Reply: I know - poor Elrohir. I just can't help torturing him, and I like to torment Elladan with worry for him. I've seen those drawings - they do look horrible. I'm not sure what sort of spider the Gorliante resemble, or even how big they are - how big is 'giant?' | |
| French Pony | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/1/2004 |
| Oh, very well done. I like that the twins are taking care when riding in an unfamiliar environment. I like their surprise at seeing the two Wood-elves drop from nowhere -- they are of a different kind of Elf, and it really shows here. I like that the twins need an explanation of what the spiders do; they can't know everything about the dangers of Mirkwood, after all, and I thought that the diagnosis and prognosis for Nólimon: “The poison causes intense pain. Agonising pain. There is usually a very high fever, hallucinations and convulsions. Death – death comes as a mercy. If you have drugs that will ease his pain, or make him oblivious, that will be the best you can do.” was very well done. Short, to the point, and it acknowledges that there are things even Elvish medicine can't do. The ending was also very well done. Everyone's reactions to the event seemed natural and unforced, especially Elladan's disbelieving repetition of "It bit you." And you used one of my favorite writing tricks: you described physical sensation clearly and graphically as a metaphor for mental confusion. I always like that. It really puts the reader in the character's skin without drowning in waves of angst. Author Reply: The twins are mostly Noldor, and they can still be startled at a demonstration of a wood-elf's affinity with trees. They have strong links to their own realm (as Elrohir proved with the Bruinen), but are less familiar with Mirkwood - or Lasgalen! Thanks to Amandil's graphic description, we (and the twins) all know what's in store for poor Elrohir - had Amandil known, he would have watered it down. I'm glad you enjoyed this chapter, and thank for the final comments - I'm glad it worked. | |
| DeepBlueSomething | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 10/1/2004 |
| Yikes! You really should put some sort of medical warning on that cliffie! That was a bad one! Anyway, I'm really glad you decided to write this. The implications of that drabble were just too much to ignore. I look forward to the massive angst in the future of this story. Please update soon. Author Reply: You already know from the drabble that things aren't good for Elrohir. It unleashed so many ideas I had to write it - and I used your suggestion that he saved Elladan, so there will be much guilt and angst ahead. But you knew that anyway. | |
| Bodkin | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 9/30/2004 |
| Oh no - Elrohir has been bitten saving his brother. What a build up of tension. The feeling of unease and anxiety. And enough explanation of those wretched spiders to get us really worried. That bit of foresight was a trick - we are both tending him, indeed. Just to make us think that neither of the twins is damaged this time - and then, poor Elrohir! More - more soon. Author Reply: Yes - poor Elrohir, he and Elladan both know now just what's in store for him. Poor Elladan - he's going to be feeling guilty now for not preventing this. Poor Nolimon - what are the chances of both of them surviving, do you think? | |
| daw the minstrel | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 9/30/2004 |
| Good heavens. That was scary. Did you make that up about the two kinds of spiders, Jay, or is that canon somewhere? Author Reply: I made it up. The canon spiders in The Hobbit simply made the dwarves sick and dizzy, so I needed something much more deadly - poor Elrohir, poor Nolimon! :( I'm glad it's scary! | |