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My Brother's Keeper  by daw the minstrel 27 Review(s)
Eirinn LeighReviewed Chapter: 6 on 7/20/2016
This tale hits a bit too close to real life to be enjoyable but I can't not read it :j
On another note I'm happy to report the /first/ error I've noticed in your works (happy because one error in all that I've read of yours so far is a much better record than most):: When Legolas leaves his room leaving Turgon behind he says "Goodbye Turgon" loudly enough to be sure that the guard can hear. He should have said "Goodbye Legolas" instead; Otherwise he is giving away his game and the guard's surprise in the next chapter becomes extremely odd.

Author Reply: Hi, Eirinn Leigh!

I think I know what you mean. A story has to have tension, but if there's too much, it becomes unreadable. I wanted to treat the addiction aspect of this story sympathetically but seriously because it is a serious matter. Luckily, my beta is a pharmacist, so she gave me some guidance.

Didn't Legolas say that while he was still inside his room? I meant for him to pretend to send Turgon on his way, and for the guard to hear him do it in his own voice. I have to go look now. Fortunately, Stories of Arda makes it easy to fix mistakes, and I always appreciate it when someone points them out.

daw

pipinheartReviewed Chapter: 6 on 10/2/2005
Legolas did the unthinkable, I was afraid he would... Now Maltanaur is taking him back, I hope Eilian is all right without him...

Author Reply: Maltanaur is seriously annoyed with Legolas. He's afraid he'll endanger Eilian. I think he must see Legolas as an unpredictable factor in Eilian's behavior. He knows Eilian would do almost anything to keep Legolas safe.

tigerlily713Reviewed Chapter: 6 on 9/5/2004
You'd think that by now they wouldn't be surprised to find Legolas where they lease expect him. He seems to be a magnet for trouble. I loved this chapter and can't wait to read more!


Author Reply: LOL. You are so right. But I have to keep reminding myself that Legolas has been good for years. I just catch him in the time he's not so good because that makes a much better story.

Estel_Mi_OlorReviewed Chapter: 6 on 8/25/2004
Cool! It's the BIG CONTRABAND DRUG TRAFFICKING MOMENT. But how sad that Legolas had to be a part of it! That is going to require a very long conversation afterwards. I do hope he stays quiet, though something tells me something is going to go wrong. I mean, it would be too simple for everything to turn out right, wouldn't it? :)

But you have to give Legolas some bonus points here. I mean the whole Turgon impersonation was really very intelligent. Being caught wasn't, but then it's not fair to put Legolas up against Maltanuar. I hope Maltanuar doesn't have to knock Legolas out or something. That would complicate matters.

I know how you feel-for me school starts Monday. I am not looking forward to it. Well good luck, and don't worry about getting the chapter out slowly-it will definetly be worth the wait!

Author Reply: Legolas just couldn't stay home when he thought Eilian was in danger, and now he's decided that this is all Maltanaur's fault! Eilian is going to be ticked off if Legolas is bruised, but Maltanaur's main concern is Eilian. Of course, Maltanaur is in a difficult situation anyway, because he now has two of the king's sons on his hands!

erunyauveReviewed Chapter: 6 on 8/24/2004
I can just imagine how furious Legolas would be at Maltanaur. And I see that Ithilden is getting a little gunshy - I hope Legolas gets to hear the story!

I feel quite sorry for the guard assigned to Legolas - I suspect he may be in for a rather long turn as messenger in the Woodland Realm. Of course, it would have been more sensible to simply tell Legolas the truth, but then, Thranduil might have done so if Legolas had told the truth.

Author Reply: Legolas has decided that this is all Maltanaur's fault. Eilian is innocent!

I think Ithilden does need a little encouragement, and I'm not sure that repeating the story to Legolas would provide that. :-)

You're probably right about how damaging it was for Thranduil and Legolas to withhold information from one another. They were just at such cross purposes.

White WolfReviewed Chapter: 6 on 8/24/2004
Ah, Legolas. Legolas. Legolas. Bless his heart. I knew he would find a way to escape once he heard Maltanaur talking to Eilian about going to the cottage. Turgon showed up at the right time for Legolas and the wrong time for him. Thranduil will eat him alive.

I know Eilian is not happy to see Legolas close to danger. Maybe I'm a sadist, but I laughed, when Legolas kicked Maltanaur. Shame on me. :o)

Author Reply: Legolas is so well-intentioned and he is in such big trouble. And Turgon is always happy to help out!

Poor Maltanaur. He already has the considerably difficult task of keeping Eilian safe and now he has Thranduil's youngest on his hands. And that youngest son is fighting mad!

caz - bazReviewed Chapter: 6 on 8/24/2004
School start's in America tommorrow? wow you have short summer holiday's we don't start at private school 'till 11th september.
been in Turkey for a fortnight and it's really cold and wet back here. have to catch up with your story though so that's one upside to coming back the other upside being my horses which are now extremly fresh especially since it's been so wet they haven't been able to go out to the field and because of that have been getting fed more as they're not getting any grass. am i having fun trying to ride them.
well hope the next chapter isn't too long in coming.
caz

Author Reply: But we were through last spring by the first week in May, so I expect it all evens out. :-)

I'm glad to have you back, Caz. Your horses sound like fun.

Ms. WhatsitReviewed Chapter: 6 on 8/23/2004
Oh, Legolas, you headstrong little brat. I knew how Legolas was going to get out of there as soon as I read about Turgon's cloak. Clever scheme! But it means that Turgon is now under armed guard and in the power of Thranduil. NOT a good place for the hellion to be!

Hiolith is so wretched, but I feel sure Thranduil will be sensible and understanding of him. I don't think he's planning a double-cross on Eilian, though of course we can't know for sure yet.

Legolas is so sweet when he bristles in defense of Eilian.

And yes, Eilian, *do* make fun of Ithilden! Having a brother like Ithilden would be hellish if he didn't humiliate himself in front of the girls once in a while and give you an opportunity for mockery.

(And I actually updated my story today. It's a short chapter but another one will very soon be forthcoming.)

Author Reply: You made me laugh with that picture of Turgon. I don't think it's dawned on him that he's put himself in a dangerous situation. He thinks *his* father was really angry!

Legolas's heart is in the right place but he sure made a bad decision and Eilian is just dying to have him anywhere near danger. It's something he would NEVER have delilberately allowed.

Being cruel to Ithilden is kind of fun, but he might make you pay. I don't think I'd have the nerve to tease him much if he were my brother.

esamenReviewed Chapter: 6 on 8/23/2004
“I did,” Eilian said simply. “But the healers helped me, and they would help you too.” He would see to it that they did, he vowed to himself. If necessary, he would beg his father to refrain from punishing this suffering ex-warrior. Hiolith made Eilian too uncomfortably aware of his own unhappiness and weakness for him to feel anything but dismay at the idea of imposing any further pain upon him. Surely Thranduil would be able to see beyond the Elf’s actions to the reasons underneath them.

Mmmm, mmm. Yes, it will be very interesting to see how the king handles this one. As a parent, and as a good leader of his people. You really give Thranduil some tough moments, don't you? This is a great tale on many different levels, and I just love it. So what will Thranduil's words of wisdom be to Legolas when all is out in the open?

One thing that fascinates me about these fics is Thranduil's connection to the woods and to his people as the king. It's kind of a biological, organic, genetic thing, not a political thing at all, huh? How can he leave the woods and sail to the west when he is so connected to his kingdom? I know that you have written of his sons as also having that deeper connection . . . how does that make them different from other wood-elves, in practical terms? I know that you explored this a little bit in A Question of Duty and in your scenes with Eilian and Glorfindel. . . . maybe we'll see some more of that sometime?

Have a great semester!

Author Reply: I'm groaning at the idea that I have to give Thranduil words of wisdom for Legolas and Eilian. I wish I felt wise! I suppose Thranduil will come through. He always does.

I think it must have been very hard for any wood elf to leave ME. And I do see Thranduil's connection as almost biological. He seems to have magic in "The Hobbit," which is the only place we really see him, and his magic seems to come from Arda rather than a ring or other such device. How that works, I don't know. I don't even know how the rings work!

AliceReviewed Chapter: 6 on 8/23/2004
School starts and suddenly I get all behind on leaving reviews. I'm still reading and enjoying this story greatly by the way. It's much darker than your last one.

Poor Legolas. He's getting into trouble, driving himself insane with worry over his brother, and now getting roughed up by Maltaunar. Life isn't fun when no one takes you seriously enough to mention oh and by the way, keep away from your brother, he's doing this mission thing, now don't tell anyone about it. So he sits in his room growing more desperate by the moment. Adolescence bites.

Turgon's a good best friend though. Wow. So don't think Thranduil would agree with that sentiment, but helping your friend do something no questions asked as long as they agree to tell you about it later, that 's what you do when you're a teenager. And under the circumstances ( as Legolas and Turgon see them) it was the right decision. Under all of the circumstances it wasn't, but their hearts were in the right place.

Poor Ithilden. He's having such a hard time with his courtship. I was cracking up during the dress ripping scene! It's sort of a "Oh no he didn't!" moment. I kind of thought that Ithilden and Alfirin took a long time to get together. Now I understand why their courtship was so long. It's a wonder neither one of them spontaneously combusted from mortification! I love that line about Ithilden going and finding a home guard to spar with to vent his frustrations. I have this image of warriors lounging around the home guard office waiting for assignments when a frantic guard comes running in and announces " The commander just had another bad date and looks extreemely frustrated! Quick, everyone find an assignment!" Poor home guard. What with elflings dropping water sacks on them and Ithilden using them as punching bags . . . poor guys.

The Eilian moments are also nice. I love how Maltaunar bribes him into good behavior with the prospect of letting him beat the men drug pushers into a bloody pulp. Maltaunar knows his charge well.

Well this is certainly a cliff hanger ending. Please update soon! And good luck with school starting. I personally miss summer already.

Author Reply: Poor Legolas. He really is struggling with being in between a child and an adult: or as he thought at one point, a novice warrior and someone who can't use a weapon without a master present. Sigh. I wouldn't be that age again for anything.

Turgon really is an affectionate, loyal friend. He just lacks the kind of sense and principles that Thranduil values in a friend for his son. And ultimately that really leads him into danger. If I had written all these stories about him first, I don't think I ever could have killed him.

LOL about Ithilden's underlings dodging out of his way. They're probably all hoping for just a normal date!

Summer went by much too fast.

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