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My Brother's Keeper  by daw the minstrel 29 Review(s)
pipinheartReviewed Chapter: 4 on 10/1/2005
Using a drug isn't good and it leaves and example to Legolas and his friends... His father seems to know something for sure...
Nice work...

Author Reply: Turgon is another one who could get into big trouble, given half a chance. He needs parents like Thranduil.

lwarrenReviewed Chapter: 4 on 8/22/2004
If someone doesn't get a clue and do something to relieve Legolas' mind about his brother, there are going to be some serious problems. He's just old enough and resourceful enough to try to "help" Eilian out. Mark my words, daw, there'll be hell to pay for keeping the kid in the dark about this. He's too loving and conscientious for him to let this slide! (And this is the brother that he feels closest to, most of the time, for goodness' sake!) I suppose keeping him in his room under guard punishes the trip to Hiothel's, but if Thranduil thinks Legolas won't find a way out should he feel Eilian needs him, he's sadly mistaken. Great chapter, daw, ...and the tension builds!


Author Reply: I laughed because I read this after I posted chapter 6 and it's so right on!

I hope Thranduil sees the good motives you do in Legolas: loving and conscientious. Yes, that's him. He's just frantic about Eilian. But from Thranduil's point of view, he already has one son doing something dangerous and he doesn't want this one out there doing it too.

Estel_Mi_OlorReviewed Chapter: 4 on 8/22/2004
*Big wide-eyed stare* Wow...words fail me. I can't believe what happened, happened. Hiolith has a dangwath farm?! My goodness, he is one very sick Elf. He really should sail. In fact, someone should tie him up and put him on a ship. I can't believe Eilian has abandoned common sense, and apparently Maltanuar has too. Someone should tell them the healer's know what they're doing. Eilian should have had the healer girlfriend and then none of this would have happened. Or maybe it would...

Poor Legolas! But it is completely understandable that he forgot he had dangwath with him. Oh, but he is in some major trouble. I hope Eilian finds that out, and that might jolt him into reality. He really needs to realize that he destroying not only himself but his family circle.

Must keep reading! The suspense is killing me.

Author Reply: Hiolith is sick. I think it's hard for wood elves to leave the woods and sail to Valinor. I think Hiolith is still very connected there. But he is in pain and no one seems to be helping him.

Legolas did indeed land in big trouble and it's ironic in that he was only trying to protect Turgon and Eilian.

erunyauveReviewed Chapter: 4 on 8/20/2004
Legolas does have a bit of a problem with realizing that sometimes you have to do something that hurts in order to be a good friend. He doesn't want to rat out his friend, but he needs to realize, just as Galeril does, that this is too serious for him.

Author Reply: You are so right, erunyauve. I think this is a lesson that comes hard to kids though, especially at that age. To Legolas, this looks at lot like the archery contest in chapter one and no one was going to 'tell' there either. Sigh. Of course, in this case, the person who is most hurt by not telling is Legolas, since it turns out that Thranduil and Ithilden know what's happening anyway.

mistry89Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 8/20/2004
This is wonderful story - oodles of suspense, a mystery, and the tension between the parties is gripping. A really original plot line (hmm, bit of redundancy there!) and it advances the story arc you've already created of this family/kingdom/world.
Thank you.

Author Reply: Thank you, Mistry. I'm glad you like it. It's been a little tricky trying to fit some sort of drug plot into ME, but I hope it works.

Tapetum LucidumReviewed Chapter: 4 on 8/19/2004
I love how your Legolas is so serious about his warrior training. I doubt the other elflings spend the time to test the balance of their practice swords. The trio's heartfelt discussion over Eilian was very touching. Annael's The little debate about following Eilian was great! You kept all three very much in character. Legolas' main concern was Eilian. Turgon wanted to cut class and have an adventure. Annael was worried about getting into trouble but would not abandon his friends. That was perfect!

I am glad that Maltanaur is involved in this little scheme. I would hate to see Eilian try to handle it alone. Hiolith is obviously not one for small talk. Your explanation of Maltanaur's involvement seemed logical. You kept Hiolith very sympathetic - yes, he is doing something bad but he was handed some rather poor circumstances and was genuinely concerned for Eilian as a warrior. That is a lot of Dangwath!

The elfling's little conversation ws again in character. I was glad they had no clue as to the narcotic effects of the medication. Turgon wanted to try it, Legolas wanted to get his Ada involved and Annael was worried about being late for lunch. Go Legolas! He was smart to get the Dangwath away from Turgon. Let's hope the wild child doesn't go back for more.

Galeril was certainly at the end of his rope. Standing up for lessons is a good idea. Though there are some classes that I still would have fallen asleep. His reaction to the drug was appropriate - it was a very big deal.
Legolas must have been sweating buckets at that little cross-examination. Thranduil wants to protect him but locking up a teenager is rarely effective. It would have simplified this tale if they had both taken the time to tell the truth. But what fun is that?...

Siondel's little chat with Eilian was perfect. It was quick and to the point. If Eilian's activities are leading Annael astray he is within his right to confront him. It was obvious that he also cares about Eilian. I have no doubt Eilian is ready for all of this to be over. At least it sounds like a resolution is near. Great job!

Author Reply: I don't know if you've read Meckinock's story "In the Hands of the Enemy," but she told me that she had gone to this writer's conference and one thing the fiction writing teacher had them do was think of something their character would never do. Write that down. Then write a situation in which they do it. I thought that was a wonderful idea. And for Legolas, skipping out of warrior training is like that. He's so serious about it (in my head, that has to do with his mother's death as well as Thranduil's bringing all three sons up to serve the realm). So leaving the training fields is a sign of how upset he is, and also a sign of what Eilian means to him.

When Galeril had Legolas stand, I was thinking of a teacher I had in high school for the last class of the day. We were all sleepy and she used to open all the windows (in Michigan in the winter) and make us do calisthenics. So Galeril is just imitating Sister Sheila!

It is ironic that Legolas is the one who gets into trouble when he's trying to protect Eilian and Turgon.

I love Siondel. I still feel bad about killing him.

esamenReviewed Chapter: 4 on 8/19/2004
“You can come here any time,” Hiolith said. “You do not need to come to the cottage again.” And with that, he turned and started for home, leaving Eilian and Maltanaur standing in the clearing looking after him.

Ah. Not exactly what I anticipated. A man of integrity, even in this busines... oh, I just love the Elves (your Elves, that is). What a wonderful world to live in.

“Eilian, I sympathize with the strain you have been under in the south,” Siondel went on. “I know that you are a courageous warrior. Use some of that courage now. Whatever you are doing is unworthy of you. Consider the example you are setting for Legolas. Let the healers help you.”

Eilian was tempted to draw himself up into the best imitation of his father that he could manage, but instead he bit his tongue and kept quiet. He supposed that if he acted the way he been acting, then Siondel had a right to rebuke him. After all, the well-being of Siondel’s son was one of the things at stake here.

Siondel waited for a moment, evidently to see if Eilian was going to respond. “Good evening to you,” he finally said. “May the stars shine on your path.” And he veered off again, as suddenly as he had come.

And here's more about (your) Elves for me to love. Oh, I wish we were all as civilized at Siondel and his family.

This is quite a remarkable story. I feel as if you are weaving many layers here. We have our preconceptions of the problem based on our own culture, but we are visiting a different culture where the problem plays out differently. And even more, we bring our own personal experiences and invest these emotional memories into the characters. How fabulous! And then to top it all off, I will bet my house that you have some sneaky surprise plot twist that is finally going to come out in the next chapter.

Marvellous reading. I am so busy right now with classes starting that I can hardly think straight, and I save reading the new chapters for a treat at the end of the day. I'm really looking forward to more. Keep 'em coming . . . they keep me sane. That's a pretty sorry statement -- fan fic keeps me sane and the real world drives me crazy? I'm just relieved to think that someone else out there loves this stuff.


Author Reply: I love Siondel. His main concern has to be for Annael, but he is also worried about Eilian even though he's angry at him. I still feel bad for killing him off.

When I started this story, I was worried about making it fit into ME rather than bringing our own cultural notions about drug use. My beta brought that topic up too and we talked about it a fair amount. So I hope that Hiolith and all of this seems elfy and a little unexpected.

I know what you mean about classes starting. Ours start on Monday. Boo!

Rose SaredReviewed Chapter: 4 on 8/19/2004
Poor old Leggy in the poo again!
Tough life when even Thranduil knows Elian is undercover, you have to feel for them all.

Author Reply: Poor Legolas indeed! It really stinks that he's trying to help Eilian and Turgon and winds up in what must look to him like far bigger trouble than either one of them gets in. But Thranduil is not an elf who would fool around with something like this.

The KarenatorReviewed Chapter: 4 on 8/18/2004
Just when you think things cannot get any get your own personal guard. I have to admit, I would probably do the same thing with a 14 year old...if I had guards to order around. Legolas is quickly getting in over his head. Thranduil had enough to worry about without Legolas showing up with his own stash. Of course, if the king had just sat his youngest son down and explained the situation... But, Legolas is still his baby.

Hiolith is an interesting character. Sad, but interesting. I can't help but feel sorry for him. He's lost everything, ended up dependent on dangwath and unable to function in society. And he's slipped through the cracks of society helping him. He must really feel all alone. Wonder why he didn't sail? I hope you plan to admit him to the Mirkwood Rehab Hut. Still, the way you described him shifting from one foot to another and drumming his fingers was a good characterization of someone who is really wired; he doesn't have time for chitchat. And he wouldn't take any payment. Interesting little facet of his personality.

This is just getting better and better. I'm really looking forward to seeing where we go next.


Author Reply: Thranduil wants Legolas as far away from events as he can get him. His heart must have about stopped when the tutor dropped that dangwath on his desk.

I thought that Hiolith was probably too attached to the woods to sail. I think that woodelves were slow to sail. But he sure has slipped through the cracks as you say. Eilian is right to wonder how he himself would have fared if he had been left as alone as Hiolith is.

NilmandraReviewed Chapter: 4 on 8/18/2004
I have so little to say here, cause you've already heard it all. :D Did I mention I loved Ithilden and Alfirin last chapter?

Author Reply: LOL. I think you did. As for events in this chapter, Legolas says (in a sarcastic tone of voice), "Thanks a heap."

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