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Healing the Long Cleeve by TopazTook	9 Review(s)
Larner	Reviewed Chapter: 17 on 8/5/2005
At last--the marriage well and truly consumated, and done well at that, even if they did need a little guidance. The story my mother blushingly told of her own marriage night comes back to me.... Author Reply: Thank you; glad you liked this chapter. (I was a bit nervous about it, as it’s the first sex scene I’ve ever written.) That’s very...intriguing...that your mother would tell you such tales of her wedding night. It’s not the kind of information I particularly want to get from my mom (thin walls gave me quite enough information, thank you) -- although it was encouraging, albeit uncomfortable, to have my 80-something grandmother refer winkingly to a certain kind of “fun.”

Nina the powerwriter	Reviewed Chapter: 17 on 12/28/2004
I have to say that the build-up to this chapter was all worth it. It was the perfect time and way to finally bring Pip and Diamons together as a married couple. They are now (hopefully) bonded as one. You have written their characters so complex and yet so simple at the same time, it really works. You wrote this chapter extremely well (I MEAN it!). It seemed very honest and real. I loved the little quirks in it (like “Skip to the good parts"). The foot-fetish thing did open your eyes to remember that they are hobbits and they got their own way of being :P Could I borrow the foot-fetish idea? A story sparked from that idea. All in all, I ADORE this chapter! Wonderful job! You deserve a thumbs up! Can't wait for the next chapter! Author Reply: “Complex and simple at the same time” -- I think that pretty much sums up hobbits in general. :) I’m glad you liked the chapter, and you felt that it worked. Thank you for your kind comments. And I’m glad you liked the “foot fetish” and other quirks as well, and that it worked to remind you that hobbits aren’t humans. Yes, of course you can borrow the foot fetish thing for your story idea. I am often surprised that I haven’t seen certain elements elsewhere in the fandom already.

ponypetter	Reviewed Chapter: 17 on 12/21/2004
Mmmm furry-footed Hobbit sex. Fun! The part with the feet was great; cracked me up. My favorite part of this story is how Merry is uncomfortable with not being the most important person in Pippin's life anymore. You add a great dynamic to the tale. Diamond is an interesting character too, and it was great fun to wonder when she'd find out how babies are made! I can only imagine how overwhelmed Diamond would be with Minas Tirith if she thinks Pippin's home is somewhat opulent. I hope you continue the story through their visit. Author Reply: Glad you liked the part with the feet.:) I wanted to somehow bring back into the story the idea that the characters are hobbits, not people, with their own culture, etc. -- and the foot scene let me provide some more detail without making the chapter as a whole too graphic. :) That’s really interesting that the Merry dynamic is your favorite part, considering that I wasn’t really even planning it that much when I began writing this story. (The Pippin, Diamond, Paladin, Ganelon, Pimpernel/Everard, Pervinca, Diamond’s mum plots/subplots: all planned. Merry’s? Not so much.) I just knew that I couldn’t write a Pippin story without Merry, and then the Brandybuck just sort of took over his sections and created his own dynamic. That hobbit has a way of making his opinions known. I do plan to continue the story through their visit to Minas Tirith. At least part of it willl be in Chap. 18, which will also have some more Merry/Pip conversation. There are approximately seven to nine more chapters to go, depending on whether a couple of segments take up more than one chapter. I’m glad you find Diamond interesting as well, and thanks for your comments on the story!

pipspebble	Reviewed Chapter: 17 on 12/21/2004
Mining deep! Oh! Oh! Darling! You have absolutely slain me with this chapter! I printed it yesterday and read it last night before going to bed and "the face of a warrior" and the halo of chestnut hair and, especially, the "mining deep" has stayed with me ever since! This chapter was everything I could have hoped for from this story, indeed, you have exceeded all my expectations. I am absolutely in awe, me dear! Bravo, bravo, bravo! I'll never think of my Pippin in the same way, ever again! Our lad is all grown up! Wonderful job! (can you tell I loved it????) ;-) Author Reply: Aww. Wow! Thank you so much for this very kind review! I’m so glad the chapter pleased you and met your expectations! Of course, while this may have been the climax of one plotline -- [yeah, that was hard to avoid;) ] -- there’s still a lot left to resolve here. I’m anticipating another seven to nine chapters, depending on whether a few things organize themselves into one chapter or two. I was thinking about how grown up he was as I finished writing this chapter, too...and then I realized I missed the wee, cute lad, LOL. Again, thank you so much for your kind words! [Blushes and hides face in hands in embarrassment, a la Diamond]

pipinheart	Reviewed Chapter: 17 on 12/21/2004
Really well written... It was written in a romantic way,that showed the love but the fear of that moment as well. Pippin seems almost to have a scottish accent,that seems endearing here. Kind of funny,when pippin asks what does your books say to do next.... Then he is crying and asking her never to leave him,but why would she,she loves him,as does he... Great job... Author Reply: Thank you. I am glad you thought this chapter captured both the love and the fear, as that was one of its goals (as well as the awkwardness, LOL). I do portray Pippin as having a Scottish accent, as do many others in the fandom. In my case, it is todistinguish the Tooks as different from the rest of the Shire in homage to Billy Boyd’s portrayal of Pippin in the movies and acknowledgment of Peter Jackson’s commentary that they’re Scots...and a way to more easily distinguish which characters are speaking during dialogue. Yes, Pippin and Diamond both love each other and don’t want to leave each other, but if you remember Chap. 16, her brother and his sister have something else in mind. Thank you again.

Dreamflower	Reviewed Chapter: 17 on 12/19/2004
eeep That was lovely. It's not something I could ever have the nerve to write, much less post, but I do appreciate having a nice sexy relationship in a marriage. I,too, do not care for the way Diamond is often depicted as cold and/or insensitive. I don't mind a bit of marital angst for OCs or minor canon characters, but I would never saddle one of the Four in a bad marriage. And though I thought about skipping this chapter, because it is a bit more risque than I usually go for, I decided that if Pippin was finally going to get the payoff for his patience I didn't want to miss it. You have a lot of courage for posting this story, which is so very different from most takes on hobbit matrimony. Author Reply: Thank you; I am flattered and gratified that you chose to step out of your comfort zone a little and read this chapter, and am glad you liked it. I don't know about courage - I did just feel that I owed it to those who have been wanting to see this sort of detail (although I must admit I was pretty nervous about posting the first such scene I have ever written). I actually like reading about poor Pippin suffering if it is well-written -- I am a member of Pippin Healers, after all :) -- but I, too, don't think Tolkien would truly have made any of the Four suffer in an unhappy marriage. Part of the inspiration for this story is to give a bit of a different perspective on Diamond, and maybe offer some insight into why others might think her cold.

Ariel	Reviewed Chapter: 17 on 12/19/2004
Whew... good. It was one review reply that gave me the sense of - OK, she's not one of those who likes any criticism - that made me wonder if I should just shut up - but if you get it all day long at work, that certainly makes sense why you'd not want it in your hobby! It was also probably my interpretation as much as anything. I tend I'm very glad that you did include this scene and gave folks the option of reading it or not. It seems the best solution for both groups of folks - those who are raging pervs like me or the more wholesome types. :D It worked nicely and was in character, though I am curious as to what Diamond's reaction is going to be when she realizes that THAT is what it takes to make babies... LOL! Author Reply: Oh, I'm glad we got that cleared up. 'Tis the season of good will and good tidings, and I'm glad not to be entering into something contrary to that. [hugs] Also glad you feel this "optional" chapter was a good solution and that it was in character...although, if you're in favor of het, married sex, doesn't that make you automatically not a raging perv? Or at least a wholesome perv? Or...something? [Must stop drinking wassail in celebration of completing Christmas cards. Hic.]

Marion	Reviewed Chapter: 17 on 12/19/2004
Oh, well done. Tastefully and inventive and very within character. I like the 'foot-fetish' thing. It would stand to reason that hobbits enjoy the look and feel of fine footfur. Although it wouldn't be a 'sexual' thing per se... it being 'out there' for all to see. And I like the reference of unmarried hobbits playing 'footsy' before they're married but having to stop before getting 'too far'. Gives me all kind of fun images of hobbits courting and rubbing feet underneath tables etc.. (grin!) Author Reply: Glad you thought it was "tasteful and inventive and within character." I wasn't too sure whether it would be inventive, since this is the first sex scene I've written. The words "foot fetish" did occur to me while I was writing that segment, but I decided not to go too far down that path.:) The inspiration was that I wanted something in there that was a reminder that these characters are not just regular men and women of our own day and time; they are hobbits with their own culture and their own characteristics -- including an attraction to the type of foot-fur that, I have to say, I personally would not find appealing, LOL! I sort of thought of their playing "footsie" (an image which did occur to me as well) as the equivalent of "necking" among modern-day courting couples. And it did spur some additional images for me as well, which will probably in part be worked into Chapter 18.

Ariel	Reviewed Chapter: 17 on 12/19/2004
While I suspect from your replies that you have contempt for my sort, I am pleased you finally gave me something after all that build up. :p The scene was enjoyable, (though I found the stopping for directions amusing rather than titillating) and I thank you for it. I am used to receiving contempt from those who would not read or write the kinds of things I do, but I like het and I don't apologize for it. If that is enough to earn me your scorn, then so be it, but I would rather be honest. In a world where authors of the raunchiest slash are praised to the skies while those who write tender love scenes between marrieds are patently ignored, it takes courage to write het. I appreciate and try to encourage any who are brave enough to try it. If I tell you something, it is my honest reaction and not an attempt to slam. I like your fic - and even recommended it on the LOTRs fanfic recs site - but if I didn't like it as much as I do, I wouldn't bother to nitpick it. Consider that. It took me a long time to understand that point with my own fics, but now I strongly prefer having reviews that give me an honest opinion rather than total squee. Total squee is nice, but it doesn't tell me much - and it takes a LOT more attention and interest to write a critical review than it does to just squee all over something. Your mileage may vary - and maybe you don't want to hear any constructive criticism. That's fine, just tell me. It's entirely up to you. I don't expect you to follow my advice slavishly - this is your story - but I did want you to know that if I didn't enjoy your story, I wouldn't be bothering to give you any criticism - it would all be 'Oh, that's nice, thanks!'. Which would you honestly prefer? Author Reply: I am glad that you enjoyed the scene. The stopping for directions was actually meant to be amusing rather than titillating, so I'm glad that worked. The point is that Pippin is just as inexperienced as Diamond, and the "first time" needed to have its moments of humor, and sadness, and awkwardness, and sublimity. I am not sure which replies you think indicate contempt (I just went back and re-read all my replies to your reviews, and still don't get it), but I apologize if that is what you feel. As I said in the author's note for this latest chapter, about half the people who have responded (both publicly and not) wanted this chapter's details; about half didn't. I am certainly not going to alienate an entire half of my audience -- one way or the other. Your responses were part of what prompted the posting of this chapter: I felt I owed it to those who wanted the "buildup" as you call it, to come to some fruition. If I have seemed overly cautious in posting it, it's probably because I have been feeling so about posting it: this is the first sex scene I've written, and I'm not so sure what differentiates a scene between an R and an NC-17 rating...and I really didn't want to run afoul of SOA guidelines, which prohibit any details greater than an R. In fact, I got so paranoid about this possibility after the experience of another author -- who had all her stories precipitously removed from the site after she inadvertently violated the guidelines -- that I spent 45 minutes copying all the reviews, responses and hit counts from everything I've posted here into my word processing program before going ahead and hitting "publish" on this chapter. (I already have all the stories stored there.) Maybe I am overreacting, but that is how I feel. I did also go and take another look at your "Autumn's Requiem", which you previously recommended -- and which, as I said in an earlier response to you, I find both beautiful and sad (as I'm sure it's meant to be, with all of Frodo's loss) -- and used it as a bit of a guideline to what sort of things would be acceptable on this site. Thank you again for the rec, and for the help. I also do agree with you that there is a paucity of tender married sex in hobbit fiction, particularly for Pippin, my favorite hobbit (as if you couldn't have guessed that), who seems to be made to suffer interminably in the fandom with a shrewish wife for the way Diamond is often portrayed. That being said, the sex scenes are only a part of what I am trying to accomplish with this story. I can take constructive criticism of my writing -- have been taking it professionally for at least 16 years -- but, as you rightly point out, it is my story and some suggestions that I disagree with, or that go contrary to where I'm going with this, I'm not going to take. That does not mean that I don't want to hear what did/didn't work or that each reader does not have the right to her/his own opinion. (I actually had essentially this same conversation with my sister in RL as her husband reviewed a different story I had written. She was bristling on my behalf, wondering how I could tolerate some of the things he was saying, and the both of us just looked at her shocked as I pointed out..."umm, it's my story. Just because he says something doesn't mean I have to do it.") I do research on these stories, but I do not have them beta-ed. I realize this does leave open more opportunity for corrections of potential errors (and typos; sigh, I know there are some in Chap. 16 that I've been having problems fixing), and I think it also leaves open opportunity for discussions with reviewers about a variety of themes, and for "constructive criticism" as you say. My intention in writing these stories, however, is only partly to improve my writing...mainly by virtue of practice in doing it frequently, as well as trying various genres that I have not done attempted before (such as sex scenes :) ). I am also trying to have fun and to allow other people to have fun by sharing the stories with them -- as well as, in this one, offering some thought-provoking themes and ideas. I do not intend to ever have them beta-ed, as writing fan fiction for me is also a relief to escape from the sort of writing I do at work, where everything I type is "beta-ed" so much by committee that, at the end, I no longer feel ownership of it, and I have to rely so much on others for completion of each piece that, when I can write, type and post a fan fiction chapter relying only on myself, it is a huge relief. I don't know the LOTR fanfic recs site that you refer to, but I am grateful and appreciate that you saw fit to recommend this story to others. I look forward to receiving more of your honest opinions. --Topaz

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