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| Through the Darkness Unescapable by Valiniel | 12 Review(s) |
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| Praveen | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 12/3/2014 |
| I have been reading this story with interest. I love stories about Pharazon and the time of the downfall. You have been doing a good job. "The white queen will fall, and the tower, but not the white king..." prophetic indeed, but I just wanted to mention that in chess, it is not possible for a king (black, in this case), to capture a queen (white, in this case). I get the analogy, but it is against the rules of chess. You may want to modify that a bit :) | |
| Praveen | Reviewed Chapter: 3 on 6/9/2009 |
| I have been reading this story with interest. I always wondered why people don't write more about the last days of Numenor, which were so pregnant with great and terrible events. The might of Numenor has always fascinated me. Just a comment on the last para of this chapter: The symbolism is very much spot on, but not plausible in terms of chess. A King can NEVER take (capture / kill) a Queen in chess, because approaching a Queen would put the King in check. Similarly, A King can NEVER capture another king directly, for the same reason. A king can take a rook (castle / tower) though. | |
| Aiwen | Reviewed Chapter: 18 on 5/23/2009 |
| This story was beautiful. Thank you for writing. | |
| Aiwen | Reviewed Chapter: 11 on 5/23/2009 |
| The irony if the situation is rich and you have made good use of it. It might've been a little more effective if you'd made slightly less in the way of references to it - we all know what's going to happen. That doesn't mean I don't like it. I do like it, I just think any more than this would be overkill. | |
| Aiwen | Reviewed Chapter: 4 on 5/23/2009 |
| A fascinating story on a very interesting subject. Thank you for writing. I always like seeing the less written about aspects of middle earth. | |
| Arnorion | Reviewed Chapter: 18 on 2/22/2009 |
| Valiniel, I have read many stories on this site and your personal rendering of the Akallabeth is among the best I have seen. As the few others who left comments have already noted, your characterizations are excellent. I had never taken the time to imagine the relationship between Pharazon and Miriel in anything other than them most basic terms. You added very believable nuances of interplay and fleshed out their changing motivations. I was also very appreciative of the roles you gave to Miriel, especially in delivering the treasures and documents to Elendil. I had wondered before how Elendil got his hands on them. I thought it very unlikely that the royal coffers were emptied when Silmarien departed for Andunie. It is a detail that few authors would have thought to include. Further, the discussion of deliberate colonies in Middle Earth got me thinking more critically about how the departures from Numenor would have affected the nation's politics. The various expeditions sent by the kings and queens and later the Elendili and Arandili would surely have had governors responsible for reporting back to the island much like the provinces of imperial Rome. For some years now, I have been tinkering with some ideas about the development of the realms of Men in Middle Earth during the Second Age of the Sun and your story has inspired new thoughts. I have never actually written any of my notions down before but now that I have started, the story seems to be discovering itself. Allow me to assure you: I have no intention of co-opting any of your characters. There are however some subtleties and themes that I might echo. Many thanks for the excellent tale, and I look forward to reading your other works. If you decide to publish again, I would like to offer my services as a beta-reader. Gratefully yours, Arnorion | |
| shadowfax | Reviewed Chapter: 18 on 10/8/2008 |
| Well, I am rather surprised this story has had so few reviews! Its a very magnificent story and about someone like Miriel too, who isn't the most famous characters around. I liked the theme of tragedy running around in the whole story...both personal as well as general. One of the things I liked best was the characterization of both Miriel and Ar-Pharazon...how he was proud and vain and misdirected and foolish enough to challenge the Valar and selfish enough to marry his first cousin forcefully and greedy enough to claim the throne and yet he loved Miriel in his own rather demented and proud way. And also how Miriel tried her best to save Numenor from Sauron and yet didn't choose to sail safely with Elendil to Middle Earth because of her guilt of being the instigator in bringing Sauron to Numenor in the first place. Thanks for such a fine story! | |
| Christina | Reviewed Chapter: 18 on 1/31/2005 |
| This is a fascinating story. Miriel and Pharazon are prideful and all too human. That the fall of Numenor was also somewhat a result of her pride was a wicked twist that made the story all that more tragic. And Sauron...even without his ring, he is still evil. Christina | |
| Horns of the West | Reviewed Chapter: 15 on 1/31/2005 |
| Very dark...these are my favourite parts of Tolkien's world and especially Sauron, excellent - I will continue to read it. Thanks | |
| lwarren | Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 1/30/2005 |
| I haven't ever read an extended story like this one about Numenor, but find I am intrigued by the story of Miriel. I know of her and would like to see how she faced such a dark, terrible turn in her life. This first chapter sets up the tension of the moment...from the nightmares she has, her father's failing health, the murder of the queen...and you have set up these first main characters very well, beginning with the grave, burdened Miriel. I look forward to reading the rest, Valiniel. This was a wonderful start. linda | |