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|For Gondor by Avon||7 Review(s)|
|Dayna||Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 1/2/2005|
|Avon, you are simply amazing. I've spent the better part of an hour now reading your stories, and I am just floored. This sound story is absolutley BRILLIANT. Fragments? Bah. What is sound but fragments, sometimes? (or that last sentence? lol) When you create a theme, there are no "limitations". This ficlet/viginette stands solidly on its own merit: It is a story based entirely on sound.|
You have, once again, done a marvelous job. I read 2 of your Faramir/Borimir stoies and cried like a baby. That 3 cord one sent me to my hubby for a hug and got me a hug from my daughter. Your writing is wonderful. Thank you for sharing. :)
|LKK||Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 2/4/2004|
|Your sound poem worked, Avon. It worked on so many levels. The sentence fragments did not bother me because sounds rarely have a completeness to them. They are often sharp, short, abbreviated, appearing out of nowhere, and disappearing without resolution. Only music tries to consistently to have a completeness like sentences. (And modern music doesn't always even try!) The sounds of this poem ... your sounds in your poem ... moved me.|
|Patty||Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 1/8/2004|
|You did wonderfully well in capturing the drama and heartache of men doing their duty as they see it. The unfinished sentences were as they should be . . . without an end, going ever on.|
|ErinRua||Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 1/7/2004|
|Oh, Avon ...|
I already said this elsewhere, but I'll say it again. This is an absolutely stellar example of movie-verse fan fiction at its best. (With nods to the book.) Man ... I very literally got chills reading that. Magnificent! And the sentence fragments you mention in your notes worked beautifully, heightening the tension and haste. Well done!
Thank you, Avon!
|Sphinx||Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 1/7/2004|
|Personally, I found the fragments very refreshing. There exists sometimes a slight misconception that incomplete sentences are pushing the bounds of sentence structure in ME, and its the subject of many a debate - but I really liked the style here. It didnt bother me at all that the characters were unidentified. |
As to whether it tells a story - I cant really say. What strikes most is the bravery and patriotism of the soldiers, along with immense courage and loyalty to their leader. It hit me more as a characterization piece, actually, with multiple characters instead of one or two.
But I did like it. Very original style. :)
|LaurelinsSong||Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 1/6/2004|
|Avon, first I would like to say that I enjoyed this piece immensely, as for your specific questions:|
- did the large number of fragments (ie: incomplete sentences) bother you? I couldn’t find any other way of doing it.
Not at all, it added to the feeling of urgency and the oppressiveness - that isn't the right word, I want to say haste but that isn't the word for the feeling either. How do you describe the restlessness and the atmosphere before a storm.
- did it bother you too much that speakers weren’t identified?
Again not at all, it added to the drama. it is not importnat to identify the speakers in a crowd, or in a moment in order to capture again, the atmosphere before the storm.
- did it manage to tell a story despite its limitations?
- any sounds that particularly did/did not work?
my favourite: "Voices swell and crash. Cheers, cries and blessings mingle with the sharp stamp of hooves on sloping cobbles. Flowers fall in soft timpani and a child cries. The trumpeting of horns rings above the clatter of hooves and echoes off stone walls."
Thank you for posting this!
Author Reply: Thank you very much for some very kind feedback, Laurel. I'm really pleased to know it worked for you - I can't get enough distance on newly written stories to know if they are pointless or not ;-) I love the idea of it capturing the atmosphere before a storm - if I have done that then that would be wonderful. Oh and it took an *awfully* long time to figure out anyway to describe those thrown flowers so I was especially pleased to see it singled out.
|Unheard Chime||Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 1/6/2004|
|I really like this... I think writing with only one sense pulls the reader into the action even more, because I personally felt that I could focus all my attention on a single aspect of the story, which made me feel even more immersed in the action. I don't know if that makes sense, but since you so vividly and beautifully brought the sounds to life in this, it was only natural for my mind to fill in for the other four senses... Thank you! This was a most interesting experience.|
Author Reply: Thank you very much! I really appreciate the reasssurance that it worked. I'm a visual writer so I wrote even this from pictures in my head so, naturally enough, when I read it I see/smell etc - but I'm pleased to hear that it can work for someone *not* in my head ;-)