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At Hope's Edge - The Appendices by Cairistiona	10 Review(s)
Lexilooper	Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 1/7/2026
OH MY GOSH ELROND PERSPECTIVE I’M SO HAPPY I love love getting to read whump from both inner perspective (we see all the pain), and an outside perspective of someone who loves them (someone appreciates their pain, we get to see someone hurting for them, view the facial expressions and other things that the character is probably hiding not effectively) My son came home at last, and I nearly let him die. SKAJDJ feels and angst in this sentence My son came home at last <333 Estel, who seemed the son of my heart from the very moment when, at two years of age, he was brought here along with his newly-widowed mother, Gilraen; both were brought here to dwell in safety when her husband, Arathorn, the Dúnedain Chieftain and Heir of Isildur, was killed by orcs. With his death, his only son, a little boy who already showed the piercing grey eyes of his line and who was much loved simply for being the child he was, became precious beyond price, for there could now be no other Heir. Awwww the son of my heart ajsjdd He, like all the Chieftains before him, could be called my nephew, although many generations have been removed between my twin brother’s heirs and myself. Still, each one I loved, and this one more than any other. SKAJD <3 also that would be so crazy to be Elrond and have sooooo many men (including your own twin brother) live and die during your life. This one more than any other <33 And also the confirmation that he did love each one of them <3 hes the best uncle Although I am not his true father, I hold a fierce and protective love for this child of Arathorn, to whom, with Gilraen’s approval, I gave the new name of Estel. Hope, it means. For that is what he is, in so many ways. Hope for mankind, for he will, after traveling a long and difficult road, take back the throne of Gondor for his line. For my brother’s line. Elros, my twin, who chose the mortal life, whereas I chose the fate of the Firstborn. He was the first King of Númenor, and Estel... Aragorn, son of Arathorn, the name we kept hidden to protect him from Sauron’s notice... is his direct descendent and the last surviving heir to the throne. A precious treasure, Estel, worth more than all the mithril in Moria, indeed in all of Arda. Ooh hiding his name makes so much sense Skajsjdj his fatherly loveeee fierce and protective <3 A PRECIOUS TREASURE <33 And I nearly let him die. AKSJDJDDK Really making that hit hard and painfully Even though it seemed to Aragorn that Halbarad’s urgency of injury was far greater…he himself not also receiving instant care nearly DID result in his death. Also would he have died, or become a sort of wraith like Frodo almost did? It was during the sixty-ninth year of his life, barely approaching his prime, for being of Númenórean blood, he is blessed with over twice the life span of the lesser men. He arrived at dawn. Weary, spent, careworn... and I assumed, wrongly, that it was because he carried with him his sworn brother, his cousin and boon companion, Halbarad, who was marked with a grievous wound – an orc arrow nearly impaling his spine. In the rush to care for Halbarad, I gave Aragorn only the most cursory inspection. I saw signs of fever, and as I looked into the depths of his large grey eyes, a hint of something darker. His fëa seemed to lie in shadow, and in a miscalculation that will haunt me even to the Undying Lands, I took it to be evidence of sorrow only. SKAJDJF all these things. Talking about how hes only just approaching his prime (which makes me happy), Halbarad being his sworn brother <33, learning that although Aragorn felt Elrond was seeing into his soul (which, yes, he was), from Elrond’s side it was the most cursory of inspections, only barely glancing over his soul (even though that’s deeper than any man could see lol), his large grey eyes <333 (Elrond has mentioned his grey eyes twice now which I love, he must like them), his fëa did indeed lie in shadow AGAIN PRESSING HOW HE MISTOOK IT FOR SORROW and askdjfjfjdkdkdkdkd it haunting him to the Undying Landsssss that he almost let his son and the heir to the throne die under his careee That it was the Black Breath did not even cross my mind. This makes me happy because. It adds le drama. Yay. It should have. Ilúvatar forgive me, it should have. Sjaksjdjdjs loveeeee And he is right, Aragorn must have learned his self-recrimination skills from Elrond Had I not heard rumors that a Nazgûl, perhaps even the Witch-King of Angmar himself, haunted the southern and eastern approaches to Eriador and Arnor? Had I not sent my twin sons, Elladan and Elrohir, together with Glorfindel, to verify such and to seek out Aragorn to see if he needed aid? Askdjfj I love love the proof again that Elrond was waiting anxiously for Aragorn to come home, wanting so much for him to come home, and keeping him always in his thoughts, sending out his own sons and the greatest elf-warrior to aid him when he did not come home and there were rumors he would need such aid <33 Elrond watching over and sending aid just makes me so happy. And totally gives me vibes of when we may think God is distant from us, or silent, or angry with us, but actually He is constantly watching over and thinking of us and sending us aid in our need <3 Glorfindel holds great power over the Nazgûl and although it will be up to Men to find and somehow destroy the One Ring and thereby overthrow Sauron and his Wraiths, Glorfindel certainly does well to keep the Nazgûl at bay in the short term. So I sent the three of them, and they had yet to return. Yess he does indeed. Thank you for using him as a short-term defense in the things he can help with, even if it is not his fate to take on such things as destroying the Ring. But Estel returned, astride Glorfindel’s mighty steed Asfaloth, and that too should have warned me. But I was so caught up in the joy of seeing my son again, and in my concern for Halbarad, who I could see deteriorating before my eyes, that I pushed aside my instincts and took Aragorn at his word when he said he was fine. Aksjd good point, Glorfindel having lent them Asfaloth is suspicious. But I suppose could be explained by Halbarad’s dire situation alone. Although it may have been that if only Halbarad needed to go to Rivendell Glorfindel would have taken him himself? In the joy of seeing my son again awwwww Deteriorating before my eyes ajsjd Also the thing is Halbarad’s surgery was more urgent and if Elrond realized how dire Aragorn’s situation was he may have had to send others to care for him while he finished Halbarad’s surgery? And that would have been sad. But I would not have him risk Halbarad’s life to personally care for Aragorn when his personal care probably could wait (I mean, perhaps could have without significantly endangering Aragorn’s life, if others were tending to him), and neither would Aragorn Fine. How many times had Estel hidden wounds and illness behind that single word? Estel could have a broken neck and he would smile and say he was fine and send me off to care for someone else’s hangnail. Selfish my son is not, and while I am very proud of him for his sacrificial spirit, it does vex me no end at times like this. SKAJDJ smile and send me off to care for someone else’s hangnail XD how I love Elrond. He can be snarky when he wants to. Selfish my son is not <333 awww this is indeed truth. IT DOES VEX ME TO NO END YES <3 but he is also proud <333 But I cannot blame him for this. The fault lay solely at my own doorstep. I should have immediately sought out the source of his fever, and I should have paid more attention to the disturbance I felt in his soul. But Estel is so hardy, so rarely falls ill... I assumed the fever was due to exhaustion and a long ride through the chill of night. So I sent him away with orders to rest and drink willowbark tea. Skakdj stop blaming only yourself Although yes too many people trusted Aragorn to tell them of his own health when they know he doesn’t Mm yes so rarely falls ill <3 He is not used to judging the cause of sickness in him Willowbark! Like throwing a cup of water at a raging inferno! SKAJDJ I love this anger at himself in the sentence. Ridiculous! I can’t believe I tried to throw Willowbark tea at him! <3 XD also tea autocorrected to fëa and that Mae me happy lolll He needed athelas, and my touch, for it is only Elven medicine, and the touch of those gifted by Ilúvatar to heal the Black Breath, that will completely free its victim from its deadly grip. Aragorn has the gift, and is skilled beyond all men at the healing arts, but not yet fully trained in dealing with the Black Breath, and at any rate, I am not certain how effective a healer is when he is the one in need of care. I remember telling him of athelas, but it was in passing, when he was barely fifteen, during a quiet morning stroll together when we walked past a patch of it and I mentioned its effectiveness against the Black Breath. He had asked what that was, and I told him about the Nazgûl. But at that time, the wraiths were far to the south and not an active threat. I did not feel that he needed to study on it any further at that moment, for I feared that it would stir him to questions for which answers he was not yet ready. So I brushed off his questions to answer on some future day after he knew his full destiny, and somehow in the years that followed, that was the only conversation we had about the Wraiths. Great point about not knowing if one can effectively heal oneself with Athelas Aww he knows he has the touch even though Aragorn has never actually used Athelas before <3 Mm that makes sense. Oh gosh fifteen is young indeed for someone who is only just approaching his prime at 68. Even if he did look like a normal young adult at 18, I don’t know. Still so young no matter what to learn some of those answers, so it makes sense Elrond avoided that. How could I have made such a grievous error? Skajdjdj I had worked long and hard on Halbarad. The arrowhead had glanced off his shoulder blade and splintered into hundreds of tiny fragments, each one of which had to be painstakingly removed lest it someday work its way into Halbarad’s spine, or into his lung, or simply fester in place and kill him with fever. So while the wound itself was not life-threatening, nor was it extremely difficult to repair, because of its precarious location and extensive nature, it took most of the remainder of the day, and by the time Halbarad finally wakened enough to show me he could move his arms and legs, my own back felt near to breaking. Immortal we Elves may be, but we too are prone to aches and pains and fatigue, and Halbarad, that dear friend and kinsman of my son’s, had stretched my stamina to its limits. Aksjd wow hundreds That would be so extremely tedious and stressful thank you Elrond <33 It makes me wonder who needed more urgently extensive care. If some of the surgery could have indeed been put off to rescue Aragorn or if the precarious location of the splinters and any waiting to remove them and letting the wound begin to close over them or anything would have been more dangerous. Love Halbarad waking up to go look it’s okay I can wiggle! <3 Yessss indeed elves are not invincible <3 aww hes like Halbarad…that dear friend and kinsman…uh pushed me to my very physical limits. As much as I love him and would do it again. As soon as he was sleeping again and could safely be left in the care of the assistants in the House of Healing, I stumbled into my home. I hesitated beside Estel’s closed door, but hearing nothing but silence within, and not wanting to disturb his rest, I passed it without opening it, and staggered to my own bedroom. I think I was already well along the paths of sleep even as I peeled off my clothes and pulled on my night clothes. I fell into bed, and I do not remember ever pulling up the blankets. Aksjdjdjd Elrond literally STUMBLING and falling asleep on his feet from exhaustion Stopping outside Aragorn’s bedroom door to listen, even though he thinks he’s okay still considering checking on him <33 hmm if there’s silence and not moaning or screaming with nightmares I wonder if Aragorn was still lying awake then Some hours later, I was awakened out of my exhausted slumber by the unlikely sound of Mithrandir shouting my name. Wizards rarely shout, unless it be to hurl imprecations and spells at their enemies. I had certainly never heard Mithrandir so much as raise his voice here in the safe confines of Imladris. I blinked, wondering if I had dreamt it, but his voice came again, this time from the hallway. My heart rose to my throat, for no one shouts in the depths of the night unless something horrible has happened. I leapt to my feet and, not bothering with donning a robe nor tying back my hair, ran to the door in my night clothes and bare feet. Yesssss RUNNING in pajamas and bare feet and hair down. “The unlikely sound” lol <33 I love it. True indeed, about wizards rarely shouting. I love how we get to see from Elrond’s pov how incredible and serious it actually is that Gandalf is shouting, and in Imladris in the dead of night. For it is true also that rarely does anyone shout in the depths of night, and never without reason Aksjdjd his heart rising to his throat, Elrond being filled with panic and anxiety "Elrond, cease your slumber and come immediately!" his voice thundered. I yanked open the door and through the hair falling in my eyes saw him standing in the doorway to Estel’s room. The look on his face opened a vast hollow in my gut. I hesitated, shock immobilizing me, and Mithrandir raised his voice to deafening levels. "Elrond! Your son does not have time for you to stand as a coney caught in the gaze of a wolf!" Skajsjdj Elrond himself freezing and Gandalf instantly yelling him out of it Aksjdjdjd the combination of standing in Aragorn’s doorway and the look on his face absolutely freezing Elrond for dread <33 Your son <3 I blinked and ran, feeling the rare rush of embarrassed heat fly to my cheeks. I may be the Lord of Imladris, but Mithrandir is one of the Istari, and although it had been many years since he had need of chastising me, the truth is that sometimes even the highest Elf needs a sharp kick. I avoided his eyes as I slipped past him into Estel’s room. SKAJDJD ELROND AVOIDING SOMEONE’S EYES OUT OF EMBARRASSMENT this is a special moment. Even if it’s not good circumstances. It’s also a good perspective on just how ancient and powerful Gandalf actually is—a literal Maia—seeing how Elrond, one of the highest of elves left in middle-earth, completely defers to, respects, and takes chastisement from him. Like, it’s easier to forget how great an ancient Gandalf is than it is to forget that about Elrond I think, and yet Gandalf is certainly above even Elrond My son was on his bed, dressed in the night shirt I had Erestor lay out for him but still wearing his stained and patched leggings. For some reason, maybe because thinking on it kept me from thinking on things far more terrifying, the incongruity of it caught my eye, and I had to fight back the ridiculous urge to chide my son for not undressing properly for bed. LOL <33 Why are you sleeping in your clothes!! Focus, you fool! What does it matter what he is wearing? <3 hey I’d probably notice too Oh I also love seeing how by the time of “Elrond cease your slumber” he is already coming out of his bedroom Also love that his bedroom is so close to Aragorn’s as well And picturing Elrond with hair falling in his eyes It felt as though I had to drag each thought and each movement from a mire, but I turned my eyes to my son’s face. It was drawn as if in great pain, and he tossed his head on his pillow as the most pitiful cries came from his mouth. The cries broke through my odd malaise and I rushed to his side and laid my hand on his forehead. It was so hot that I flinched. "Estel, Estel! Quiet, my son, quiet," I murmured over and over, trying to soothe him but he would not be calmed. "I am here, my son. Shh. I am here." SKAJDJDJD “as if in great pain” yesssss The most pitiful cries <:((( yes yes yes I repeat I LOVE seeing whump from both perspectives Literally flinching at the heat BUT HE WOULD NOT BE CALMED <3 I am here asksjdjdjsksk <3333 Elrond is here for him now Estel could not hear me. He moaned and cried out things that I did not understand at all. "No! That is not my name!" Then he tossed his head on the pillow, crying, "He knows ... Adar ... he knows ... he knows ..." He kept repeating the words over and over, lost in delirium. Skajdjdjsjsjsjsssss these wordsss the moaning and tossing his head and the wordss I had thought maybe he’d be all still and pale but no the unconscious distressed movements and noises are so much better I looked wildly at Mithrandir. "How long has he been like this?" Wildly askjdjf again this being from Elrond <33 "He collapsed in the hallway, just minutes ago. We had been talking, in his room, and he seemed ill, and tired. But nothing like this. But, Elrond, he has–" Mm he has fought a wraith? I cut him off. "Get Erestor. Have him bring me athelas, and... and supplies..." My mind seemed to have locked up. I could not think of what I needed. So I waved Mithrandir out the door with an impatient gesture. "Just tell him Estel has fever. He will know what to bring. Hurry!" I spotted scratches and a bruise on Estel’s wrist and wondered if there was an unseen wound that had somehow gotten infected. "And water and bandages!" I cried as Mithrandir disappeared to search out Erestor. Aksjdjdjdjd Elrond the great healer being so panicked he can not even think of what other supplies he needs Hmm as in the bruise suggests an infection because that causes easy bruising (I have no idea if it does) or the bruise and scratches suggest it’s quite possible he carries worse wounds? I placed my hand again on Estel’s forehead, and another on his chest, and his reaction shocked me. As soon as I touched his chest, he bucked upward in the bed, arching his back and groaning as though I had stabbed him. AKSJDJ WONDERFUL I need to go back to Aragorn’s chapters and see if there’s anything on his side of feeing like hes being stabbed or hit in the chest or something in his dream because I don’t remember I immediately pulled my hand away, but kept one on his forehead. I pulled back the collar of his tunic, and thought I saw a dark bruise, but there was no evidence of blood. Mm is that a random bruise or lingering from the Nazgûl’s sword? Again it has only been like, less than two weeks? And bruises heal slowly, especially severe ones I left it for the time being, and, closing my eyes, I tried to reach his mind, but all I saw was a fog of darkness tinged with flames. I gasped, for I could almost smell a sulfurous fume. It was a stench, a soul stain, an evil that I had not seen in many long years but one with which I was far too familiar. Aksjdjdjskd Elrond gasping at the horror of what he finds A soul stain, an evil <:( It was the Black Breath. "Estel," I whispered, my heart breaking. "How did I miss this?" AKSJDJDDK heart breaking HEART BREAKING Elrond’s heart breaking for Estel aakskdjdjdkdjddj to see the pain and darkness and shadow and evil and horror over his mind Also I still keep forgetting that even until this point, Elrond had no idea what was ailing Aragorn. Seeing him writhing on the bed with burning fever was such a shock and he had no idea why or how Estel came to be in this condition, only beginning to guess that he could have an infected wound causing a fever, like, he really does not know what is going on at first and that would be SCARY, no wonder he was so frozen I knew I needed to go more deeply into that horrifying realm of shadow, but I needed athelas and where was that councillor of mine? Since there was nothing I could do for the Black Breath until Erestor arrived with the athelas, I decided to see what else was wrong. The Black Breath does not cause such a fever as I felt in my son, so there had to be something else... some wound... skajdjd “that horrifying realm of shadow” suggesting how even Elrond fears to enter there, Yes indeed find the cause of the fever as well <3 Valar, let it not be from a Morgul blade.... oh that would be terrible indeed I swiftly pulled Estel’s breeches off and examined each leg, feeling an odd pang as I looked at the sturdy, well-muscled length of them. It had seemed only yesterday that those legs were no bigger than the length of my forearm, chubby little things propelling him into more trouble than any two-year-old should ever have been able to find. AKSJDJDJD FEELS <:(( <3333 this fatherly pang of “where did the time go? How is he now grown?” Now they were scarred but strong, the legs of a man who had walked many hard miles. "Strider," I murmured the nickname he had picked up on his journeys and accepted somewhat wryly as his own. It was such a low name, one spoken in derision, but for some reason he never protested or seemed overly offended by it. For some reason <3 he is just so humble. Never overly offended. I sometimes fussed at him, telling him if he would not defend himself against the slur, to at least tell the name-callers to say it in Quenya. He had given me one of his quiet smiles and said, "Telcontar it shall be someday, but for now, it is safer to be lowly Strider." It was one of those moments where the child brings the parent up short with his wisdom, and he had laughed as I bowed my head, duly corrected. AWWW <33 he is wise beyond his years indeed. That is such an Aragorn moment, to surprise Elrond with his foresight and wisdom <3 and I love him predicting that one day he will indeed use Telcontar The scars I saw were old. I traced a finger along one particularly horrendous one that ran the length of his right thigh. It could easily have killed him and I wondered what the story was behind it, if anyone had been there for him, or if he had been in the wilds, alone, with no one to give him succor. My throat ached, but this was not the time for mourning over my son’s old wounds. I rolled him carefully onto his side, to better see the back of him. No wounds there. AKSKDJDKSKDK <:(((( if anyone had been there for him With no one to give him succor <:(((( how I love that word and how it breaks my heart to imagine that Aragorn may not have had it with that life-threatening wound. Elrond certainly does not know how he got it and was not there to care for him <:( He moaned again, crying out for me, pleading for me with a sorrowful voice that pierced me right through. I touched his cheek and murmured soothing words that he did not seem able to hear. I hurriedly pulled his tunic up and looked at his abdomen, mindful of that painful way he reacted when I touched his chest. My son’s life left no softness about him; the muscles there were as lean and well-defined as those on his legs, and there were a number of scars, but nothing recent. AKSJDJDJDJD pleading for Elrond skajjjjjj I can’t <:( I love Aragorn pleading crying for his Ada, who is right there and yet Aragorn cant sense him, doesnt know, cant draw comfort Mm yes his chest. And whether or not the sword-bruise is the one still there, it makes sense that he would react as he did when the darkness was first over him. His chest never fully healed from that and now that he is overcome by the Black Breath, the pain and darkness of that place being even touched is probably back in full fury askdjd or perhaps greater, seeing how vocal his reaction was this time It saddened me deeply to see etched on his body the evidence of the difficult journey I had foreseen him taking. skajsjdjdjs <:((( that the time has now come, indeed many years have passed that he has been on that sad hard road once only foreseen I chided myself again. I had to stop this mawkish reflecting and focus. It would jostle him too much to work his tunic off over his head, so I pulled the small utility knife I keep always on sheath hanging around my neck, even when I sleep, and its keen edge made quick work of slicing through the fabric. <:( I am grateful he does but it’s also sad that he finds this so useful that that is the thing he always even sleeps with It was then I saw more clearly what made him flinch when I touched his chest. A bruise, a very deep one from the looks of it, marred the skin, in the clear outline of a sword. YESSS OKAY GOOD IT IS INDEED THE BRUISE "Estel, what evil did this to you?" I touched the skin around the bruise, careful not to touch the bruise itself, pressing lightly, seeking out evidence of broken bones, which thankfully I did not find. Still... the bruise was nearly black, and ugly. And as I looked at its shape, a chill walked down my back. It looked for all the world like a Morgul blade. SKAJDJ YES YES nearly black yessss as I said bruises heal very slowly, look worse before they start to look better, and this one was DEEP He must have battled the Nazgûl hand to hand. I looked at his face, and it seemed I could feel his fëa weaken even as I watched. How long had the battle gone on? And how long in the days since had Estel fought off the effects of the poisonous miasma the wraiths spew out? My son was strong... his bloodline gives him fortitude and endurance few other men possess. But no man can withstand the Black Breath indefinitely. Aksjdjdkskdkd thank youuuuu for seeing and understanding what Aragorn did and wondering how long. And although I am grateful Halbarad and the other rangers do know and appreciate how long Aragorn battled it, Elrond knows much deeper the challenge and danger and poison of that and I am happy <3 An icy pit formed in my stomach and I feared what else I might find. Had the Morgul blade penetrated his flesh... Elbereth, please no. Do not let me find what I fear most... I cannot bear to lose him to... Aakdjdjdjdkdj <:(((( no no no I did not allow myself to finish the dreadful thought. I looked more closely at the bruise, running my fingers as close to it as I dared without causing him undue pain. <33 I let out a shaky breath when I found no evidence that the blade had broken his skin. The wraith must have somehow slapped Estel with the flat of the blade. INDEED HE DID But he could have a wound elsewhere... I applied the knife again and cut the sleeves away and found a bandage around Aragorn’s upper left arm. From the smell alone, I knew immediately this was the source of his fever and my fingers hesitated over the stained bandage, for I feared that I would find the telltale evidence of the stabbing tear of a Morgul blade. If it were so... if a Morgul blade had done this damage... then Estel was already lost to me. AKSJDJDK how terrifying this would be. He is SURE that if Estel is in this condition and has already mentally been fighting the Black Breath for an unknown amount of days, if there is a stab wound then he has passed beyond the point of return. Utterly terrifying. I shut my eyes tightly. Tears have no place in a healer’s eyes. UM THIS LINE IS GONNA PARADOXICALLY MAKE ME CRY I angrily swiped my eyes against my sleeve and forced myself to move. Skajsj yesssss the angry trying to stop the tears Just like Aragorn I unwrapped the bandages, wincing as at last I found the ugly wound and then had to shut my eyes again as relief rushed through me in such a wave I felt almost dizzy. SKAJSJDJ RELIEF <333 These were no Morgul blade wounds but looked to have been made from splinters of some kind. Two of them were angry with pus and redness, perhaps from remnants that had not been completely removed. I glanced at the door, willing Erestor to hurry with that water, for the wound needed cleaning and needed it immediately. I looked at the redness that spread outward from the wound. One streak had already started up his arm. He might lose the arm, but then the bleak realization hit that with the wound so close to the heart, the poison would surely kill him before he would ever lose the arm to gangrene. I may have to take the arm right away ... I felt sick at the thought. Aaaaaaasksjdjfjdjdjdjd Elrond himself feeing sick at the thought, imagining that he might have to amputate his son’s arm, so immediately, The infectionnnn and the description, those two cuts Aragorn had first started to see start with infection, the angry red streak now traveling up his arm, the immediate realization that he might lose it but he might also die, I looked at it once more and decided that the infection had not gone so far that cleaning it and applying medicine might yet save the arm without undue risk to his life. A risk it would be, but one I deemed worth taking, at least for one day. By tomorrow evening, I would know. Oh good. Good good. <33 one worth taking indeed I think, Estel uses all parts of his body so much Somewhat relieved, I left that wound to its own and checked his other arm. It seemed unharmed. I then touched Estel’s cheek again, for he had fallen silent. "Estel," I called softly, and to my surprise, his eyes opened and he looked at me. Akskdkdkskdkd EYES OPEN <33 "Ada?" he breathed, his voice tight with pain and fear. The look in his eyes... it was hard to look upon such terror, and harder still seeing it on the face of my son. All the protective instincts of a father rose to choke me for not having saved him somehow from this. I have failed you. I banished the self-pitying thought. What did I expect from this suffering man before me? Absolution? ‘Twas a selfish notion, and such blessing from him I could never ask. SKAJSJDJDJSKSJDJDJSSJJD as we have only heard from Halbarad before, through Aragorn’s ears, that there is such terror there, now seeing it through Elrond’s eyes, Aragorn’s eyes being open and supposedly seeing Elrond’s face now, not staring off into some distant dream, the combined semblance of lucidity with the fear, pain, and terror that is so naked and overwhelming it is hard to even look at, AKSDJFJ and Elrond, his father, having to gaze upon that, see such tortured terror in his little one’s eyes (also, that combination of words helped me picture it a little better I think. Because picturing the terror in someone’s eyes who has been tortured, say in Sauron’s tower, or by some evil thing, hits deeper than most kinds of fear. And I can’t imagine Aragorn would look more horrified after that experience than he does now. For he is indeed being tortured in Sauron’s lands but by his very own brothers in his mind Asksjdjdjsjdj “and such a blessing from him I could never ask” okay first calling absolution from Aragorn a blessing is beautiful and sweet to me. Second, ARAGORN WOULD WILLINGLY GIVE IT <:( "Shhh, my son. You will be fine," I soothed, hoping that I was not telling a bald-faced lie. I stroked his hair back and smiled down at him and carefully hid all traces of my own fear. Akskdkdkskdkd Elrond not knowing "You will be fine, my son." Okay to clarify: ELROND’s definition of fine, not Estel’s. "Arm... hurts," he whispered. Akskdkdkd it must indeed for him to deliriously declare this to his father, nearly the first thing he says, "I know. The wound has become infected. Can you tell me how you were injured?" He licked his lips. The pitcher beside his bed was empty. Again I looked wildly toward the door. How long could it take a wizard and a seneschal to bring water? Aksjd great question The licking his lips making it feel like suddenly he is desperately parched, whether or not he actually is, and dying for want of the relief of water, "I... wall collapsed... splinters..." His voice faded. I had never seen him so weak. Akajdjdkdjsjskdjdj and he has seen him in many circumstances and at all ages. But this is the weakest he has ever seen his son. "Shh, that is all I need to know. I will take care of it. Just rest and do not worry. I am here, and I will take care of you." My lips trembled but I kept my voice steady. <:(( SKAJSJD ELROND LIPS TREMBLING I am here and I will take care of you <:( oh those sweet beautiful words "Not just... my arm... There is blackness... a shadow..." His eyes had closed but they suddenly shot open and he looked at me with such despair that my heart skipped a beat. "He knows, Adar. Sauron knows... who... who I am." Aksjdjdkskdkdkd he has to tell Elrond of the blackness, he thinks, and then of his delirious thoughts of Sauron. THE BLEAK UTTER DESPAIR his hope is lost and gone I did not know what to say, for there was no way of knowing if Sauron truly did discover, through the Wraith, that Estel was the Heir of Isildur, or if his fear was an illusion brought on by his fever or the Black Breath. I prayed it was merely confusion. I brushed my hand again over his hair, trying to find words of reassurance. "Then he knows," I finally said. "There is nothing to be done about that right now. He cannot reach you here. You must not worry." <33 good response. And there is indeed no way of knowing at the moment and that’s scary and makes it hard to respond appropriately His eyes drifted shut and he sighed. His lips moved and I leaned close. "I am sorry... so sorry... I have... failed... everyone. Failed you..." A tear fell from the corner of his eye and tracked down his temple to dampen his hair. I brushed it away and my heart utterly broke within me. I pulled him into my embrace and though he had once more lapsed into unconsciousness and could not hear me, I reassured him over and over. "No, Estel. You have not failed me. You have not failed." I let the tears fall this time, and it was thus that Erestor and Mithrandir found me. AKSJDJDJSKDKDKD oh perfect moment for them to walk in thank you <333 I could not have picked a better time THE SINGLE TEAR ELROND WEEPS NOW AKSJDJDKSKDK THANK YOUUUUU cradling Aragorn in his arms And actually, this is the bit that Aragorn does hear, and it gives him some modicum of strength, so thank you Elrond <333 Erestor skidded to a halt in the doorway, the water he carried sloshing in a great wave onto the floor. "Oh Elbereth Gilthoniel!" he cried. "It cannot be! He has died?" AGH I did not think of how terrible this would look to them. Oh his agonized reaction <3 I shook my head violently, unable to speak. Mithrandir came over and laid his hand on Estel’s forehead, and then on mine and I felt a comforting peace settle on me and even Estel seemed to relax in my arms. I blinked and looked up. "Thank you, Mithrandir," I choked. ALKAJSJDDJKSJSJD Mithrandir giving them sorely, sorely needed peace <:((( thank you thank you thank youuuuu I forget sometimes he can do things like this Also just, picturing Gandalf putting a hand on each of their foreheads, especially strong healer Elrond’s, is so sweet to me <3 and I want to draw it now ooh maybe just maybe I will “I choked” aksjd he so desperately needed support and strength and peace "Let us see what we can do about this young man," Mithrandir smiled, and his pragmatic benevolence seemed to wash over me and strengthen me. I lowered Estel back onto his pillow and again swiped my sleeve, which was becoming admittedly soggy, against my eyes. Awwww <33 his pragmatic benevolence His soggy sleeve <333 just picturing Elrond in such a position of weakness: barefoot, in his nightshirt, messy hair, weeping stricken over a deathly ill Estel, is unlike anything we have seen before, and how I love it Mithrandir grimaced and produced a handkerchief and handed it to me. "As bad as Bilbo," he muttered. "Never with a handkerchief when you need one." SKAJDJD this made me smile so big when I was least expecting it <33 I wiped my eyes and blew my nose and felt very much like a small Elfling AKSJDJDJDJSJSJDJDJSSJ I bet he has not felt that way in a very, very long time and it makes me so happy <333 everyone, even Elrond, needs to feel small again every once in awhile, and like someone older and wiser is directing things but something about Mithrandir’s matter-of-fact manner calmed me even further, to the point where I was finally able to gather my wits and think like a healer and not an overwrought father. Aww good <333 I rose from where I sat on the edge of the bed and took up the athelas that Erestor had laid on the small table beside the bed. I blew on the leaves softly and held them between my hands for a long moment to warm them. Erestor, long used to working with me, placed the bowl of what was left of the steaming water beside the bed and I cast the leaves into it. The aroma immediately refreshed me, and I could tell from their soft sighs that neither Mithrandir nor Erestor were immune to its effects. <333 yayyy refresh them all Aww I love how Erestor and Elrond naturally work together. And LOL the rest of the water that isnt now sitting on the floor Warming the leaves <3 giving his healing breath But what of Estel? I eased myself onto the bed beside him and with Erestor’s help tugged the table over closer to him. I dipped a cloth in the water and squeezed out the excess, and then wiped Aragorn’s face with it, but he neither stirred nor opened his eyes. Aksjdjfkdjd the Athelas having no visible effect whatsoever Unlike the first time, with Halbarad, when it woke him up and brought him back I glanced at Erestor. "He is moving deep into shadow." I swallowed hard. "But I think there is time to clean up his arm. Likely he will not feel the pain it is sure to cause him, UM PERHAPS MAYBE HOPEFULLY EXCEPT NOT :))) and I do not think a few more minutes will matter one way or another as far as the Black Breath goes, yet if it takes–" I swallowed. "If it takes a long time to bring him out from under the Breath, the arm would worsen and undo everything we have gained." Mmm good points good points great points "Let me clean his arm, Elrond," Erestor offered. "You have worked long and hard today on Halbarad and I fear you will have a long, dark journey to call Estel back. I am not the healer you are, but I think I can manage. You need to rest for a few moments and let the athelas strengthen you before you begin." Mmm yes good idea thank you <33 "As always, you speak wisdom, my friend," I said. I moved further down the bed but kept my hand protectively resting on Estel’s knee. Indeed <33 thank you for seeing the wisdom and not protesting. But also still the protective hand <333 Despite the heat coming from his skin, I felt him shiver. I pulled up the blanket and tucked it around his legs and hips as I watched Erestor quietly and efficiently clean the wound. It was a messy job, but he did not flinch or hesitate. A pile of bloody rags soon grew on the floor by his feet, and at one point he triumphantly held up a jagged splinter of wood. YAYY also thank you for the like. When he has fever and shivers giving him blankets. <3 cause I feel like it’s far too common in fanfics for people to decide that any fever, no matter how small, needs to be cooled, and will like withhold blankets from sick people far before they near a dangerous temperature that would actually need cooling. And it rather makes me sad because I want the people to get comforted with blankets XD "It was so deep, any of us would have had trouble finding it," he said as he tossed it atop the rags. mmm yes Although Elrond will find one more later So it is not quite the last But yayyyyy good job Finally, he sighed and sat back. "There. It is finished. I cannot see any more evidence of splinters and the wound is clean. I do not think I will put any stitches in it but simply work medicine deep within, to fight the infection, and then bind it tightly. And pray the infection does not worsen." Mm good ideas <33 I leaned forward to see it better. "You have done better than I could, I think." And he had. Erestor did not have the reputation I had, and he would deny it until the day he sailed, but the truth of the matter was that he was every bit as skilled in wound care as I. He blushed slightly at the praise but busied himself with clearing away the debris on the floor. "Are you ready, Elrond?" Aww yayyy <33 I love that so much I nodded absently. I pulled the blanket up and across Estel’s shoulders, stalling a bit, although it needed to be done, for he still shivered. Mm yes stalling I smoothed the blanket over his stomach and arms, careful to avoid touching the bruise or the splinter wound. His gentle touch <333 Finally, I took a deep breath and looked into Estel’s face. Never in my darkest nightmares did I imagine having to journey after my own son into that realm that was neither death nor life. SKAJDJFJ when something is worse than a parent’s darkest nightmares…oh you know it’s bad My mind skipped back to a time after the battle of the Dagorlad when so many had fallen under the Black Breath... I had exhausted myself to as close to death as an immortal Elf can get, and still far too many died and passed into shadow. The guilt of what I felt was my failure stayed with me for centuries. Aksjdjfkdk I never thought about that. The Nazgûl would have been in that fight. And Elrond would have gained much experience healing people from the Black Breath there. But many would still have died indeed, and Elrond coming as close to death by exhaustion as an elf can get…also this puts perspective on Elrond’s telling Aragorn that his nightmare plain is bleaker than any other under the Black Breath he has seen. He has seen MANY. And still Aragorn caps them all. Which is also a testament to his strength of will <3 Nooo not the centuries long guilt <:((( But that torment seemed as nothing compared to how I would feel if I could not save this single man lying before more. AKSJDJDJDJSDJDJ THAT TORMENT SEEMED AS NOTHING he loves Aragorn so, so, so much. And his life is so incredibly important. Aksjd Valar, I ask that all grace due me be given to my son ... <333 please please please <3 Aksjdjdjskdsnsm like the movie line of Arwen’s grace passing to Frodo. This is honestly beautiful. An ancient and immortal and extremely powerful elf and all he wants is for any grace given him to pass instead to his dying human adopted son <333 I laid my hand on Estel’s brow, and closed my eyes. AKSKDKDKDDKDK I am much excited to read the next chapter

Minerva Organa	Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 5/26/2009
My goodness...this was wonderful! I love your portrayal of Elrond, and I really like that you're giving us his perspective of the tale. =) Author Reply: Thank you, Minerva! I'm glad you liked this... I had to get into Elrond's head as well as Aragorn's to see how it all happened, and Elrond's Tale is the result of that--I found out during the process that I really, really like Elrond. grin Thanks for the review!

Lily Baggins	Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 5/13/2009
I was so very, VERY excited to see this posted---and wow, it did not disappoint! I have to say I so enjoyed seeing the "softer," more vulnerable and emotional side of Elrond here, even as he realizes he must be a healer first and a father second. Beautifully done! My favorite part---though I believe I have too many to mention---had to be when Elrond was attempting to find the wound causing the fever and incredibly worried at what he was likely to discover. And to see his relief at discovering the wound was not caused by a Morgul blade, only for his relief to turn to despair as he realizes Aragorn might very well lose his arm. I am absolutely dying for the second part, because I for one want to know every tiny, wee detail of Aragorn's illness, recovery, and attitude that I can get my hands on. :) If you wrote a hundred of these, I'd still want more! BTW---I hope you don't mind, but I saw you on Livejournal (on Shirebound's LJ) and friended you. I don't want to miss anyone's LJ who posts an "Aragorn-a-day" pic---way too many on my flist have moved on from LOTR and I'm still happily seeking it. :) Author Reply: Thank you, Lily! I'm glad you're enjoying this... it was definitely fun to explore Elrond's softer side and figure out what sort of healer AND father he is when he has to deal with both simultaneously, under such trying conditions. I've never been a fan of the movie Elrond, preferring the book version, and even that is a bit sketchy as far as the fatherly side of him. So this is my take on him. I don't know if I'll write a hundred more, though. LOL But thank you! And thank you for adding me to your LJ... I'll get you added to my flist straightaway. :)

Estelcontar	Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 5/13/2009
I really liked this. It's wonderful seeing the same scene from Elrond's eyes, moving to see his love for Aragorn, and his grief for not noticing that his Foster son needed his care. Well done! Author Reply: Thank you, Estelcontar! I'm glad you enjoyed this... still more of a glimpse to come of all those things. :)

Silivren Tinu	Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 5/13/2009
It's fascinating to read this scene again from Elrond's pov. You did a great job of describing Elrond's emotional turmoil once he discovered that Aragorn was seriously ill and the cause for it. Poor Elrond - he really had to live through a father's worst nightmare! This chapter really drives home how close to death Aragorn truly was. I enjoyed all the father-son moments and the worrying - it shows so clearly how much Elrond loves his son. It's so nice to get appendices after the story has already ended - like the icing on a cake. g Looking forward to reading more! ;-) Almut Author Reply: Thanks, Almut! I'm glad you enjoyed a different view of this. I love exploring scenes that show the love Elrond has for Aragorn, since Tolkien didn't give us much more than a line or three about it. And I'm glad you like the idea of these appendices... I struggled a bit with trying to decide if they'd be enjoyable reading for everyone or if in posting them I was being a bit too egotistical about my writing. LOL My intent is definitely the former! Thanks for the review!

Larner	Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 5/13/2009
I can feel the grief! Ah, for the both of them! Author Reply: Thank you, Larner! I'm glad I was able to convey the strength of Elrond's feelings here for you. (And for some reason, your review has popped up twice on my review list... I'm going to delete the extra one, although it was kind of fun to read it twice! LOL) Thanks for the review (both of them! LOL)

Linda Hoyland	Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 5/12/2009
I've been wondering how Elrond might have reacted to Aragorn's condition,so I enjoyed reading this very much. His care for Aragorn is very touching. Author Reply: Thank you, Linda... I'm glad you enjoyed seeing it from Elrond's side. I think it must have been so hard for him, as a healer, to suddenly be confronted with having to deal with such grievous injury in his own son and I wanted to explore that a bit more deeply. Thanks for the review!

Casso	Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 5/12/2009
Wow, what a bonus and TBC to boot. Elrond is just a tad desparate here. ow many of these do you have? Great writing, as always. Thankyou. Author Reply: Thank you, Casso! I'm glad you liked this. I have two more character study ones similar to this one--one from Halbarad's POV and one from Denlad's POV. Then there's a "missing scene" sort of gapfiller about Halbarad and Aragorn's shopping trip in Bree. :) Thanks for the review!

Laikwalâssê	Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 5/12/2009
oh my what an incredible heartrending description. As I read the orginal story I always missed exacly this - Elrond`s POV, his thoughts, his reactions. And now you have delived it. It´s by far the best chapter of this wonderful story. I thought there was nothing to top but you have made it. Since long a story that has gripped my heart. Thank you so much for this. Lai Author Reply: Thank you, Lai! I'm so glad you enjoyed this... I was really worried that everyone would wonder why I bothered posting what is essentially the same story. But I was hoping that Elrond fans especially would like to see what he was thinking. There's the 2nd part still to come, which will follow Elrond as he goes into the shadow realm. I'll be posting that in a day or two, as soon as I get it ready. Thank you so much for the kind review!

Calenlass	Reviewed Chapter: 1 on 5/12/2009
Elrond's POV? I didn't expect this, not the least. But you know how much I love Elrond. :D This is great. The descriptions in the chapter were great; I can feel his pain, his worry for his son. sniffs ~Cal Author Reply: Thanks, Cal... glad you liked this! :) And yes, most of these extra tales will be in first person, from different characters' points of view (there's one that's not). I'm a bit nervous about posting these but I think people will enjoy them. I'm glad you did, at least! Thanks for the review!

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