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| Don't Explain by Gwidhiel | 3 Review(s) |
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| Denise | Reviewed Chapter: 14 on 5/17/2008 |
| You brought out the oddness/unnaturalness of Indis' love very well with Miriel's dramatic reaction. It is quite the contrast to her earlier observation: "I observed your love for Finwë shining in your eyes, and I knew that such love was impossible unless Eru had deemed it good." The perverseness is solely in Indis loving Finwe while Miriel was alive, then? I think you also did a good job of bringing out Finwe's suffering as a result of his mistaken understanding. The conversation between Indis and Miriel continues to be great. I particularly appreciate how Indis is still fumbling a bit, having only recently realized her own guilt; and how this is contrasted to Miriel's calm (first) and then her impatience (later) - but then she's had millennia to think over her own complicity. Thank goodness for Ahyalo's calm reasoning! And I still love the little touches, like Ahyalo and Indis once meeting long before. I think your pacing feels just right. I haven't gone back and reread everything from the beginning, but I don't recall ever feeling like things were going too slow or too fast. Indis is making a very hard, very shocking journey of self-discovery here, and the process has felt spot-on. I can't wait for the next step! Author Reply: Hi Denise, It's nice to be able to reply to your review here! Yes, as I see it, the problem with Indis's love for Finwë is that she loved him despite a) the fact that she didn't really even know him (as Míriel points out), and b) the fact that he was already married. The latter is problematic given what we know about love and marriage from LaCE; regardless of whether or not she knew Finwë well, Indis's enduring love for Finwë (which kept her apart from any other possible mate) should have been, well, unthinkable. And since Indis didn't even know Finwë, she really should have questioned what was causing her to feel so strongly about him. I'm glad the pacing and developments seem to work. This conversation between Indis and Míriel was my main purpose in writing this story. I think that Indis's story and journey of self-discovery will continue beyond what will happen in this story... | |
| Redheredh | Reviewed Chapter: 14 on 5/15/2008 |
| Very interesting continuation of their conversation. I like the balancing out of motives and events. It is almost as if the two ladies had expired and met in Mandos as fear to resolve their concerns before going back to the living. A similar cleansing before being reborn anew, it seems to me. Well done. Author Reply: Hi Redheredh, Thank you very much for your review! I'm definitely aiming for healing with this story, although what that healing might bring apart from itself, vis a vis a return to life remains to be seen. Míriel doesn't seem to seek any change for her situation, and Indis of course never left life. This conversation was the whole purpose of the story, and I've got one more chapter left to write ... but I'm not entirely sure yet where it will leave Indis, who has achieved a much better understanding of herself, but is still without her husband and some of her children and grandchildren. Maybe, at least, she'll find it easier to live with. I have a lot more sympathy for her now than I started with! Thanks again for reviewing! | |
| Nilmandra | Reviewed Chapter: 14 on 5/14/2008 |
| Good that Miriel and Indis both see their part in this unhappy circumstance, and learn that self-honesty is where healing begins. An honest assessment of others is also important, as they seem to recognize as they consider Finwe and Feanaro. Author Reply: Hi Nilmandra, Thanks! This is indeed meant to focus on healing, which is often difficult when there is more than one "truth" involved. In this chapter in particular I wanted to make sure that Finwë wasn't painted too black, since he was getting lots of blame in earlier chapters. | |