News Resources
Login
Become a member
Help
Search
|
|
| About Us News Resources
Login
Become a member
Help
Search
|
|
|
| Cottoncrow's Cry by Ophium | 3 Review(s) |
|---|---|
| Sweet Pea | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 7/23/2005 |
| Gimli's words of wisdom! This looks really bad for the both of them. I hope dwarks have something that makes them immune to this plague. Ugh the stupid people! Should I begin a campaign for a healer? Like a certain Dunadain who actually has some guts! Loved it! On to Chapter 6! | |
| French Pony | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 8/27/2004 |
| I've been waiting for the continuation of this story, and I am not at all disappointed. I think this is the best chapter you've written so far. It's rich and atmospheric, revealing some tantalizing little hints of information (Samuel knows Gloin? How?), deepening the mystery, and above all, featuring a wonderfully dramatic, tense scene between Samuel and Gimli. Both of those characters are richly drawn and complex. One can almost see the gears in their minds turning as they work to stay ahead of each other. There are just two things about this chapter that bothered me. One is the fact that you seem to have rather a lot of visual description for a dark, moonless night. It's not that the descriptions aren't interesting; they are very interesting, but none of the characters in the scene would be able to see any of what you've described. The other thing is that you have some interesting turns of phrase and homonym problems that lead me to believe that English isn't your first language. If this is the case, first let me commend you for writing such a lovely, complex story in English. You might want to consider finding a native English speaker to look over your work once before you post it and catch some of the homonym problems. Good job! This story is improving by leaps and bounds, and I am glad to be reading it. | |
| Galimeril | Reviewed Chapter: 5 on 8/27/2004 |
| Patiently awaiting your next update. Galimeril ;D | |