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Torn in Two  by Meldewen Ilce

Eru give me the strength to do this, to say goodbye, I think as I approached him last of all.

As I gazed into the eyes of my beloved friend, time just seems to have stopped, frozen as we both try to find our voices to speak what needs to be said between us.

'But,' said Sam, and tears started in his eyes, 'I thought you were going to enjoy the Shire, too, for years and years, after all you have done.'

'So I thought too, once. But I have been hurt too deeply, Sam. I tried to save the Shire, and it has been saved, but not for me. It must often be so, Sam, when things are in danger: some one has to give them up, lose them, so that others may keep them. But you are my heir: all that I had and might have had I leave to you...'

It had all been said on the road to the Grey Havens, and yet my heart was breaking at the thought of leaving him. It had all been said and yet there was still so much more I wanted to say but when I opened my mouth the words wouldn't come out. I stared at him was tears in my eyes, my mouth wide open as I struggled to speak.

'It's all-right, Mr. Frodo,' I heard his dear voice say, 'I understand...and I know. You need to rest now, so don't you worry about me.' Sam reached out and enfolded me in a tight embrace and I heard tears in his voice as he whispered in my ear. 'I love you, Frodo.'

My voice cracked as I replied, 'I love you too, Sam. My dear Sam...' I lightly kissed his forehead before hugging him tightly again, tears streaming down my face.

Finally after I pulled back from him after a long, long moment I boarded the ship that would carry us, the Ring-bearers, away from Middle Earth forever; unable to look back at the people I was leaving behind.

After Lord Elrond, Lady Galadriel, and Gandalf boarded the ship, the orders were given for the moors to be loosen and the sails were drawn up. Slowly the ship moved away from the shore, and I moved again to the stern side of the ship to watch the faces of those I loved still standing on the shore.

Sam stood stoically, not moving as our ship slipped away but I saw Merry and Pippin wave, shouting something I could not quite hear against the roar of the seas. On either side of me, Bilbo and Gandalf stood each raising their arms in a gesture of farewell. And finally as the three figures standing on the shore looked no larger than a hummingbird that fluttered flower to flower, I lift my arm in farewell, holding aloft the Phial of Galadriel.

Soon I am standing alone there, Bilbo and Gandalf having left to join the Elves below as they celebrated their imminent homecoming to Valinor. I have lowered my arm but I still stand holding the Phial, my last link to my friend as the shores of Middle Earth disappear from my sight forever.

As the sun dips into the ocean, I see Bilbo re-emerge from below and he walks over to me, laying a hand on my shoulder.

'Come below, Frodo, my boy, and get something to eat,' he said kindly. 'It's time to let go of Sam.'

I stare at him for a moment, and nod before I put away the Phial. I start to follow him before and then I stop, turning to look back.

'What is it, my boy?'

'I never told Sam how much he really meant to me, Bilbo! What if I never see him again? What if he doesn't come to the Undying Lands?'

Bilbo sighed. 'You'll see him again, Frodo, whether it'll be here or in the hereafter - You will see him again. What was it you said to him? "You cannot always be torn in two. You will have to be one and whole, for many years." Well I say the same to you, Frodo. You've been given a chance that few mortals will ever see or be allowed to have - The Valar have granted you a place in Valinor to live out the rest of your days, so that you may find healing and rest at last.'

I nod as Bilbo drops his hand from my shoulder. 'I know that leaving Sam behind was one of the hardest things you're ever done but just as you told him not to be sad, you must follow the same advice, and find some comfort in knowing that he will have a long and happy life in the Shire. Then when it is his time, he'll hear the call of the Sea and then he will come join us in the West.'

Taking one last look towards the East, I nod and whisper, "Goodbye, my dear dear friend. See you again when it's time.' Turning back to Bilbo I nod and began to follow him as he leads me to the deck below us...

Fin





        

        

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